Television on the Brain

Guess who's back? Krista's back! Back temporarily. To talk about 90210!

2011-12-06T22:50:00.003-05:00

So I am finally, FINALLY not taking a class for five minutes of my life, and I decided that it was the perfect time to check in and talk about this season of 90210! Mostly because like 75% of what is going on is annoying the crap out of me, and it would really help me to get these emotions out.

I mean I understand the need for drama, but why does almost everything have to be terrible? For almost everyone? I mean they were practically playing the soundtrack to Schindler's List over the preview for next week's episode! So let's list the hateable things about this season so far. I'm telling you, we'll all feel better.

1. TEDDY LEFT! WTF show?! Teddy was pretty much the only character that I haven't wanted to punch at some point, even when he was being jerky or ridiculous. (Though the best part of last week's ep was when Ivy told him to stop whining and feeling sorry for himself and buck up, seeing as he is incredibly rich, handsome, white and healthy. He is kind of a whiner.) I like Teddy, and I was loving his friendship with Silver, and his romance was cute, and it is so lame that they wrote him out, especially since Annie continues to have a large role.

2. The entire Silver/Navid plot. I hate hate HATE television plots where the only real problem between two people is that one of them keeps lying about something stupid. Now, I will admit that 9021o gave Navid a pretty decent reason to lie to Silver. (I mean the cops told him to, and I suppose she is the type of person who would show up at his uncle's office screaming about how he's a car thief and she's on her way to report him to the police.) But still, it just seems insane to tell someone you just have to lie to them, without any other information for that person whatsoever. It also seems weird to dump your boyfriend after finding out he is in way over his head in some kind of insane high-end car thieving ring...oh no wait, I guess that makes sense. If I were Navid, I totally would have cracked and told Silver 20 minutes after that teenage cop told me not to. (Note to cops, I am not a good candidate for undercover work.) Anyway, I am pretty sure that Silver's new boyfriend's kid is gonna totally fall in love with her and think she's her new mommy and stuff, and then the whole Navid being 21 Jumpstreet will come out and it will take FOREVER for them to get back together because Silver will feel all guilty over the kid, and my annoyance will continue. (Yes, I pretty much just want them to get back together, they were cute, whatever.)

3. Ivy & Raj Faking being better and dumping your wife? Bad move Raj, especially since the entire point of you marrying her was so you could experience marriage before you died. I guess now he wants to experience divorce? Pro tip: it's not as fun.

5. Back from the dead Alaska Fisherman- This plot really had the makings for awesomeness, with the whole "banging-your-presumably-dead-friend's-prego-wife-and-then-it-turns-out-he's-not-actually-dead" thing, but instead they just hugged it out and the wife went back to Alaska with him. I was hoping for some kind of psycho stalking attempted murder or something.

8. Liam hates modeling- Why? Liam is super hot, but damn, no one wants to see some kid whine about how people want to take pictures of him because he is super hot. Just let him sexily own a bar and model on the side, and stop having stories based around jobs and money. They are boring and suck, and these people should just have money and shut up about it.

9. Annie and Dixon are broke See above. We know it's gonna work out, so instead of forcing Annie to turn tricks, let's just have them be all set with the inheritance money so they can move forward with drug problems, car accidents and the like. I mean whoring yourself out for your brother's rehab? That is just too depressing for 8pm on a Tuesday night.

10. Naomi's a bad girlfriend We know that, she's been a bad girlfriend since 90210 started. It is actually one of the only consistent character traits anyone on this show has ever had. I don't need be reminded of it again, twice, with two different guys in the first half of the season. (I miss Max. I am into nerd-love.)

11. Naomi caring SO MUCH about the Greek Council. She's gorgeous, beautiful, rich as hell, and apparently a talented event planner being groomed to take over a successful business when she's 20. Why would getting to be treasurer for her college's Greek Council even register at this point? Maybe this is because I went to a college where frats and sororities were thought of as havens for idiots, but this Greek life crap is totally uninteresting to me.

12. Vinny from Jersey Shore guesting on the show twice. Ugh.

There were also things I liked though, don't worry! They include:

-Liam's hair in this episode. He should go without bangs ALL THE TIME. Damn.

-Dixon and Adrianna are kind of cute, and I actually buy her transformation from evil to good.

-Liam owns a bar! It's so Peach Pit After Dark, I love it! (Oh Dylan McKay. I miss you.)

-Annie getting that mean grandson to let her have all Marla's money! Yay for not having to hear her worry about being broke anymore! I do think it's funny that she felt so entitled to the inheritance even before she knew the grandson was a jerk who couldn't care less about Marla. I mean she knew the woman for like, 6 weeks, tops. How does that make her more entitled to the money than Marla's actual family?

-Annie's "boyfriend" calling up and proposing some girl on girl action in Hawaii! That dude is all class. (I laughed super hard at this, so it counts as a like.)

-The girl who hit Liam deciding that she was going to run from the cops after she realized that he is a model with a big billboard. Also made me laugh super hard.

-Everyone lives in Naomi's mansion. Perfect.

-Holly and Naomi's rivalry being about something real (love of a mother!) instead of about something involving a sorority.

-The fact that Millie from Freaks and Geeks is still playing a teenager, 12 years after her Junior year at William McKinley High School.

Let's hope that Liam recovers fully and sexily from his motorcycle accident and never brushes his hair forward again. Also that Navid's Dad has returned to help get out from under his evil uncle's thumb, Silver ditches the old guy and gets back with him, and Dixon's drug problem rears it's ugly head again. (See, I don't want everything all happy-happy joy joy!) Also, I would like to hear Adrianna write a song about how she's sorry about trying to make Silver kill herself, and Naomi to just find herself a sex slave that likes to be dominated and do her bidding so she doesn't have to worry about whiny boyfriends. I also hope Holly develops an eating disorder and Annie gets nostalgic for her days as an escort and does it just for fun now that her money's come through. Oh, and that the dead Alaska fisherman comes back to get his revenge with a hook or something. That would be cool. And Teddy comes back and continues being awesome and stuff. And Raj lives! All of that should happen.

Next week: Well, if the soundtrack of the preview is anything to go by, the Holocaust, or something just as bad, I guess.

90210- I really wish I was in Ojai too.

2011-02-02T20:47:00.000-05:00

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Okay, I've been shoveling snow for 5 hours, so even though I'm not exactly the yoga retreat type, right now I would be all over going to Ojai to get in touch with my feelings or whatever. Also, I would really love a chance to tell Adrianna she is a horrible person in a sweat lodge. Or wherever really.

Okay what was awesome?

- Everyone yelled at Adrianna (except Navid, which would also have been great.). It was amazing. They even pointed out that what she did was twisted and immoral! And that she was shallow and irritating! It made me so so happy

- Adrianna was likeable for like 5 seconds! She talked about giving up her baby for adoption, and how it affected her, she cried and seemed like the rounded, vulnerable interesting character she used to be. And then...well, she blew it pretty quickly and spectacularly.

- Charlie left! Now I don't have to hear his weird scratchy young Michael Jackson voice anymore. Yay!

- And Annie and Liam are together! Oh man, I don't know how I went from hating Annie to really rooting for her to be Liam, but here we are. I think I just want Liam to be happy.

- Annie had an awesome and incredibly loud meltdown about how she hated her stupid cousin, when said cousin was two doors down, and yet had no idea why the cousin might be acting weird. It was a stunning example of teenage obliviousness. Also, it was really funny. And the cousin is super annoying, so I kinda feel her on this one.

- Navid and Silver did it. In a tent, on a yoga retreat, with Adrianna about 50 feet away. It was hot.

- Dixon asked if his chest was getting too big. It was funny. Also, no, you look fine.

Some things sucked:

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- Emily, the annoying cousin. She is mean AND annoying, Also, even as a brunette, she's a dead ringer for Kelly Taylor, who I hate. (She STOLE Dylan while Brenda was in Paris! Disgusting.) Emily better keep her mitts of Liam. This character is a good idea though, because it is making me genuinely like Annie.

- Ryan/Deb ruined date. Nobody cares. Seriously, they're both off the show next season, so there really is no one that cares.

- Naomi is so obviously going get taken advantage of by that yoga guru and her weird sidekick. Probably even next week.

- ADRIANNA SELLING HER BABY STORY AND DECIDING TO GET HER BACK FOR PUBLICITY AND MONEY. I put that in all caps because it seems that she is the absolute worst person ever, just like I have been suspecting all season.

-Navid didn't dump Ade yet. Just dump her dude, she's terrible.

- No Teddy!

Next week: My DVR cut off the preview, but my guess is that Naomi is going to get taken advantage of by that yoga guru, Adrianna is going to continue being awful with almost zero consequences and Navid and Silver are going to agonize over their affair. Also, Liam and Annie will probably get it on a lot.

90210 is back, and so am I!

2011-01-26T13:15:00.002-05:00

Luckily only one of us has tons of drama going on. We start off right where we left off, at Ade's stupid Christmas party. So we've got Navid (Michael Steger) and Silver (Jessica Stroup) kissing, Teddy (Trevor Donovan) and Ian (Kyle Riabko) kissing, Dixon (Tristan Michaels) and Cannon creeping (on Teddy/Ian and Naomi, respectively), Ade's big secret being revealed on TMZ or something and Liam (Matt Lanter) and Annie (Shenae Grimes) basking in the afterglow of doing it. And now, things are about to get crazy.

cwtv.comMr. Cannon, looking psychotown.

Let's just go at these dramas from biggest to smallest, because today, that's how I roll.

Naomi/Cannon/Silver- This part had it all! Knives, almost murder, yelling, tears, and horrible horrible plans. Let's be real here, Cannon's plan was incredibly terrible. Tying up former victims and almost-victims and making them say that it was all made up on video, where there are clearly under duress? Then stealing one his victims trust funds? Sure dude, that's gonna make you look totally innocent. I'm sure your wife will coming running to find you under your next assumed name. What a coincidence that the guy Naomi fake-accused of sexual harassment was a real-rapist. That's just bad luck right there. Anyway, I thought AnnaLynn McCord did a pretty good job during the whole "Ima gonna kill him" scene, and the dude who plays Cannon brought it for that one as well, even though he was kind of over the top for the rest of the hostage situation. Though I usually really like her, Jessica Stroup was really doing it for me in the scenes. I guess "oh-my-god-we're-gonna-die" kind of acting just isn't her thing.

On a side note, I watched O.G. 90210 this weekend (along with Shenae Grimes in Degrassi, I was really preparing for this!) and when Erin came on my boyfriend yelled "It's baby Silver!" and it was awesome.

Ivy/Dixon- This storyline become a drama-filled frontrunner when Ivy almost died!

cwtv.comIvy, about to fake an injury.

I found it sort of weird that after saving her life, Dixon just left. "Hey, glad you didn't die, I'm out!" I mean this was a girl that a few weeks ago, he was in true love with. I'm pretty sure I would stay to make sure my worst enemy was okay and not traumatized after almost drowning, but apparently Dixon is still really mad about the whole Oliver thing. It's kind of creepy how pissed he is that he doesn't get to take Ivy's virginity. Dixon is pretty much being a huge creep this entire episode though, so it makes sense. Anyway, after all the near death drama, Ivy is apparently cleared to compete in some surf meet, and then fakes an injury to get out of it because she is too scared to surf. Which, duh Ivy, of course. You almost died about an hour ago, so maybe you're not quite ready to get back up on the board again.

Adrianna/Navid/Silver- Speaking of PTSD, Ade is faking it to try and get out of the fact that she is essentially a grave robber, but it ain't working. So of course, even though Navid was gonna dump her and then eventually be with Silver, he feels like he can't because she is such a wreck. I don't really get this, because she is just facing the consequences for a totally awful thing that she has done, so I don't really think he should feel bad for dumping her on her ass. I mean just get her to rock bottom faster Navid, she'll thank you later. This show just loves to keep the couples I like apart, doesn't it.

cwtv.com Liam and Charlie make up from their feud that makes no sense.

Liam/Annie/Charlie- Yes it does! Because even after making me kind of like Annie and want her to be with Liam, now this show is keeping them apart as well! I feel so betrayed 90210. You made me root for Annie! And then, just like that, you revealed that the reason Liam hated his brother so much was completely stupid and senseless (I maintain there is NO WAY this was the plan all along, because they did everything they could to make Charlie seem kind of sinister.) So anyway, when they were little kids, one time, Charlie was mean to Liam and let him get beat up by their evil uncle. But Charlie himself was beat by the evil uncle many many times, and was only mean to Liam to make him leave (which...wouldn't the beatings make you leave?). So pretty much the story doesn't make sense, Liam being crazy mad and refusing to even hear his brother out doesn't make any sense, and now, Annie and Liam cannot be together. So blech. Also, Annie has an annoying cousin who wants to take over her life, and I gotta tell you, I'm not looking forward to that storyline.

At the bottom of the drama rung, we have Teddy/Ian/Dixon. Basically Dixon saw Teddy and Ian kissing, and then acted like a 10 year old about it, asking Navid "why would two guys kiss?" and then being all cage and weird and afraid Teddy is going to hit on him at any minute. In the end, he just asks Teddy about it and Teddy lies for like 5 seconds before saying he didn't want to talk about and not to tell anyone. Don' t trust him Teddy, since he's morphed into a tween, the whole school should know in about 8 hours.

Next week:
The girls go on a spa day or something? The previews almost totally ruin this show. I hate you CW promo makers.

Grinchy Glee!

2010-12-08T14:43:00.007-05:00

Okay, so let me just put this out there right away. I don't really like Christmas music. As a young misanthrope, I used to say that I hated Christmas music, but that's not really true. It's just as a person who loves music, Christmas music has always been my least favorite kind. There are so many schlocky, fakey, icky holiday songs out in the world, and they are so much harder to avoid than all the schlocky, fakey, icky regular music in the world. There are people who still haven't heard Justin Bieber, but there is no one that can escape twenty terrible versions of "Jingle Bell Rock" around this time of year. So with that in mind, now I shall tell you what I thought about an episode of Glee whose thin plot pretty much only existed so that the characters could sing Christmas songs.

Still, there were some things I liked! It's a Christmas Miracle!

-Last Christmas! It's only the BEST.CHRISTMAS.SONG.EVER! Wham! does it better though.

-Grinch homage! I felt like it visually looked great. Loved the scenes with Becky as the reindeer dog pulling the wagon. It really reminded me of the classic cartoon (not the terrible Jim Carrey cartoon!.

-Britanny. Loved it. Heather Morris has been doing great job all season imbuing Britanny's dumb/brilliant lines with a childlike innocence and it paid off in this episode. She was adorable as Cindy Lou Who in the Grinch scene.

-Artie's walking things! I cannot lie, I was crying a little bit. One thing that I really loved about that scene was the quick shot of Tina's reaction. It reminded us that they had a really sweet relationship going before she dumped him for Mike Chang's abs. (Not that she didn't have a good reason...thankfully they have pretty much dropped that whole "Artie as a misogynist" thing from last season.) I think Jenna Ushkowitz was wonderful in that quick scene, looking loving and grateful at seeing Artie up and about. It was a nice way to play the whole thing. I am not sure how any of this is going to play out for the rest of the season. (Will they just forget about it, using the line "I can't use them all the time" as a way out?) but it was touching for the holiday episode.

-I'll take Sue's turnaround, even though it wasn't really earned. Since it was right after the Artie scene, they kind of had me, so I thought that was sweet too.

-Quotes that made me laugh (out loud, I admit)

-I really really love Coach Beist.

-"I didn't know what it was. I assumed it was a Transformer."
-"It's unseasonably warm, actually, for this time of year."

Things I feel Grinchy about:

-Finn and Rachel. Ugh. Didn't they "officially" break up last week? Also, I didn't like the song she sang to him.

-I bet you a million dollars this exact Rachel and Finn plot will be played out in an upcoming episode. Minus Christmas trees, obviously.

-Okay, (and props to Kate Marciniec here) I didn't really care about Kurt and Blaine singing the sort of rapey "Baby It's Cold Outside" together.

-They 1. made me fear that Santana was going to cut her beautiful, beautiful hair and then 2. intimated that it wasn't her own beautiful beautiful hair. Not cool Glee.

-Um, I'm not really that into Christmas music and this episode had almost zero plot. So that was a bummer to me.

-I haven't hated Will for two episodes in a row and that just feels wrong.

Next week:
Nothing. American Idol is coming in January apparently. Yay.

90210 is making me root for cheating (teenage) couples!

2010-12-08T14:34:00.004-05:00

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Adrianna and her ridiculous Christmas spectacle, which took place at her own giant house. With a skating rink.

Due to a tragic VHS (yes I said that, VHS) mishap, I missed last week's episode. From what I gather, here's what happened:

-Adrianna (Jessica Lowndes) continued to be awful.
-Naomi (AnnaLynn McCord) and Ivy (Gillian Zinser) became BFF.
-Naomi and Oscar talked/flirted.
-Liam (Matt Lanter) tried to help that annoying girl whose guest house he lives in out and got jumped for his troubles.
-Navid (Michael Steger) told Silver (Jessica Stroup) he had feelings for her. (squee!!!)
-Navid dumped Adrianna for being awful, but then got back together with her.
-Teddy (Trevor Donovan) and Ian (Kyle Ribako) went out on a date (squee!!!)
-Deb (Lori Loughlin) and Ryan Matthews (Ryan Eggold) can't deny their attraction or some such thing.
-Dixon (Tristan Wilds) and Annie (Shenae Grimes), though ostensibly the stars of the show, continued to be way less interesting than any of the other characters.

So onto this week's ep!

Adrianna has officially transformed into the most terrible person ever. Most of the time Navid is sitting near her and hearing her talk he can not even mask how nauseated he is by her every word. He honestly looks like he might throw up on her when she sneers through her teeth "This present is so hideous." while smiling at the person who gave it to her. Also, she bought a stupid McMansion house. I know I often harp about how they turned her complex and interesting character into a one dimensional idiot with no feelings or brain, but to be honest, I just want to see her get SMACKED DOWN at this point, so I was totally psyched with Monday's developments. I mean Victor (you know you are awful when I am rooting for that guy over you) exposed her grave robbing to the press AND Silver and Navid totally made out. I was actually cheering as they kissed. Earlier in the episode, when Navid asked her if she had feelings for him and Silver unconvincingly said no and then Ade came down and displayed her horribleness for them once again, all I could say was "If I were Silver, I would have turned to Navid and said, 'Um okay, I don't feel bad anymore. Let's have sex right now." She is that odious. Also, let's be real, Navid and Silver are really cute together. And they're in high school, so whatever. Sorry, Fidelity Watchdog, that's just how it is.

Okay, so the other cheating couple I was rooting for? Annie and Liam. It does seem shocking that I would root for Annie in any way, but Liam told her he was in love with her, and I really just want to see him happy. Also, Charlie is totally weird. Something about that raspy way he talks creeps me out sometimes. And he probably murdered their abusive uncle and let Liam take the blame for it. Yes, I am still going with that theory. (Where is Deb throughout all of this? Her kids take in one of their friends who has no parents and has been beat up, and then her daughter proceeds to have sex with him and sleep in his bed all night long. Too busy getting busy with Mr. Matthews I guess.)

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I was also rooting for the non-cheating but in-hiding couple, Teddy and Ian. Kudos to the CW for letting them kiss a bunch! I was psyched about that! Sometimes network TV can shy-away from letting same-sex couples show affection, so I was pleasantly surprised with these two. I loved that in the beginning of the ep., Ian was all like "sorry, I can't go back into the closet for you." and then as soon as Teddy was all sexily leaning over him at the party he was like "okay, I can be discrete for awhile, that's cool!" Yeah of course you can Ian, because you have eyes, and Teddy is brutally hot. They were of course, not being discrete at all, making out in the hallway at a party. Where Dixon saw, and looked very shocked! Dixon's usually cool about stuff, but he is kind of a bro, so I will be interested to see his reaction to this.

Hmm what else? Oh Ivy! The Ivy stuff was cute and sad all at once. Her crying to her mom (Kelly Lynch) that she just needed her to love her made me tear up a little. I could see that she was going to get her heartbroken by her deadbeat dad from a mile away, but it seemed realistic that it would take her awhile to figure things out. I'm glad she and her weird voiced mom who is a terrible actress worked things out! I also like her and Naomi as friends. Naomi has great friend chemistry with most of the girls on this show! (Though not, strangely enough with Adrianna, who was her best friend when the show began.) And speaking of poor Naomi, that final shot with Mr. McRapeyTeacher creeping in her room was pretty scary!

Viewer quotes:

"Okay, I am putting both Teddy AND Liam on my celebrity freebie list, right now." -S
"You would even root for me to make out with Liam?" -Sh. to his wife.
"Oh man, Teddy is losing his boner for Ian right now watching this." -K. watching Ian destroy some Christmas song at Ade's party.
"I don't usually like to root for infidelity but...YES YES YES MAKE-OUT YES YES!!!"-K

Next week: There is no next week! It isn't coming back until January 24! This means I'll be 30 before I get to watch 90210 again! Tragic!
But when it does come back, there will be more Navid and Silver making out, which is awesome!

Yes Glee, no 90210.

2010-12-01T13:52:00.006-05:00

Because of a tragic VHS recording mishap, I didn't get to see 90210 last night. Sad face. Maybe it's on demand or something? I don't think it is. Sigh. I did, however, get to see Glee, so at least I can write about that, and please all you Glee-maniacs or Gleeniacs or whatever the kids are saying these days. Glee neither enraged nor thrilled me last night. It just kind of happened in front of me, and some things I liked while other things I did not. So, here goes!

Things I liked:

-Both the sectionals songs that New Directions did were great. I love anything that reminds me of Dirty Dancing, and Tina and Mercedes killed "Dog Days Are Gone"! Good stuff.

-The Hipsters singing "The Living Years" which I always mistake to be my brother Tom's graduation song, even though I am pretty sure it wasn't actually.

-Britanny and Artie! From the magic comb, to the 'adultery misunderstanding' to her telling him she was dancing for him, these two were hilarious and genuinely sweet all night. Maybe these two crazy kids really can make it work!

-Rachel and Finn getting "couples counseling". Jayma Mays was great in this scene! I loved her little "no no no no" to Finn as he was agreeing with Rachel that Santana is "super hot". (Agreed on that one Finn!)

-Also super hot? Puck. Just saying.

-The newest member of New Directions! "I'm not nervous. You know why? Because show choir is stupid."

-Will being non-awful AND yelling at Rachel for being a jerk. Best Will episode in a long long while.

-Rachel speaking and acting like a normal human being in her scene with Kurt. More of that please!

-Kurt having a tough time fitting in with The Warblers. They seem a little cultish to me.

-Emma marrying "the finest dentist who ever lived"!!

-That Tina refers to her boyfriend as "Mike Chang".

-"Asian kiss."

Things I did not like:

-Rachel/Finn/Santana/Puck. Actually, I was fine with it until the whole "Rachel made out with Puck" revelation, because that was dumb.

-No Sue! No one likes that.

-Emma making some kind of weird unsure face like maybe she is still in love with stupid Will. Um, you're married to John Stamos now, just shut up and be happy. Also, Will is gross.

-What was the point of the whole speech to Kurt about The Warblers needing to "fit in and not stand out" when they are basically just a backing group for Darren Criss?! He was standing out a bit, it seemed to me.

-The fact that this episode was just dropped on us without any build up whatsoever. Way to get me excited for Sectionals! I was not at all excited, because the fact that they were going to be competing soon was nothing more than a throwaway line in the last 4 "Kurt Hummel is the most amazing person ever ever ever" eps.

-The fact that The Hipsters were not played by the Young @ Heart Choir. Come on! They need to be on this!

-A tie? I mean I get that this is for dramatic purposes so there is more competing against Kurt, but man, they pretty much just beat one group. Not that impressive really.

-Are these people friends or do they hate each other? Because to be honest, I don't have any desire to cheer on a bunch of awful people who hate each other.

Next week:
Previews are like mind-wipes to me, so I cannot remember! Um, singing is my guess though.

Good job Glee!

2010-11-24T11:44:00.007-05:00

So after a mess of an episode last week, Glee came back with an "In your FACE KRISTA!!" episode with coherent story lines and themes! Sort of at least, which is all I am really asking!

So what was good?

-Carol Burnett! She's always good. Also, "I don't think you ever truly appreciated the sacrifices I made to become a famous Nazi hunter."

-The wedding vows! They were very cute and touching (though if I were Finn I would be a little pissed about all the Kurt adulation and then the "oh right, and also, Finn is here too..." by both parents.) and I really like those two actors together.

-No Will! I really like episodes where Will has no storyline SO MUCH BETTER. I mean we did have to look at his creepy "proud" face a lot, but that was pretty much it.

-The episode actually made sense!

-Sue's wedding dress for her wedding to herself was lovely and perfect for her. Her handicapable sister was totally right about that.

-Go Mike Chang! Is it just me or was he totally hot when he was defending Kurt?! I also liked his dance up the aisle.

-Kurt decided to transfer. Here are the reasons I like it 1. Doesn't solve the bullying problem all tidy and in a bow. 2. Brings Kurt together with more potential love interests (everyone loves Darren Criss!). 3. He looks good in those blazers. 4. It stressed Rachel out and I think I hate her. ("So this means you'll be competing against us at regionals?!)

-The songs were good, fit in with the story and hit a lot of really nice emotional beats. Less flash than usual, but I think it worked.

Weirdness:

-Well let's be real here, Sue's entire story was totally weird. Her mother, famous Nazi hunter Carol Burnett, is back in town to attend Sue's wedding to herself? I think the pathos of being abandoned by her mean bully of a mother would have worked better with just one totally odd element. With both, it seemed kind of strange that the show wanted us to genuinely feel for Sue there. I still kinda did though, which I am crediting to Jane Lynch, because she is always great.

-Um, it is really weird to make your wedding toast be ALL ABOUT yourself and your almost stepbrother and some issues the two of you have been having personally. I know everyone on 'Glee' thinks everything is ALL ABOUT THEM, but come on, that was the epitome of self-centeredness masquerading as some kind of brave gesture. The song was cute as hell though, I will admit.

-I might be willing to believe that Burt and Carol just didn't have any friends to ask to be their wedding party, so they just had their kids' friends instead, except for the fact that their wedding was filled with huge, cheering, masses of people. Surely one of them could have been a bridesmaid?

Still bugging me (you knew it had to come!):

-Sam/Quinn promise ring/quest to be popular. That shit was dumb. They are cute together sometimes, but that whole proposal thing was creeptastic, and every time he talks about being the most popular guy in school I just want to hit him or fall asleep.

-St. Kurt. Okay, now don't all pile on here, I love Kurt! But at this point his character is treated (by the characters AND the show) as some kind of perfect human who does no wrong and just teaches people how to be better. We just saw him being a bad friend to Mercedes last week, but even that was swept under the rug in the form of that bullshit "Mercedes is eating her feelings" storyline. I mean at the rate of "Kurt is amazing" eps this show is at, next week the entire glee club will just be mourning his transfer and singing songs about how amazing he is for the entire hour. The fact that he is one of the only truly likeable characters on Glee is a failing of the show, it is not because he is some kind of angel sent from heaven to teach us how to be a man or whatever. I like Kurt. I just liked him more when he was multidimensional.

-Um I love Santana being kind of bitch and awesome, but trying to break up Rachel and Finn so she can sleep with seems unnecessarily mean and desperate. Oh well, I guess it wouldn't be Glee if the writers didn't show contempt for at least one of the characters.

-Not enough Puck! Is there ever enough Puck?! I don't know.

-Sue's not principal anymore! She was actually doing a good job!

-The sound cut out at the end, and I made up my own dialogue. Since I was pretty much right on, I think Glee should just hire me to write on the show, and I will whip them into shape! (Sorry Sarah, I had to.)

Next week: REGIONALS OMG OMG OMG!!! Also, Emma is back, which means some yucky Will time.

GET EXCITED!! I'm writing about Glee!!!

2010-11-17T13:41:00.005-05:00

Though if you are a super-huge Glee fan(or Gleek, as is the common parlance), don't get too excited, because I am going to complain about it. But first, because I love you, I will tell you the things I liked about last night's episode!!

1. Gwyneth Paltrow. She was good! I mean I know that this shouldn't be a surprise considering she is an Oscar winning actress and everything, but she has been portrayed as so insufferable and pretentious in the press lately that I was startled at how funny and likeable she was. And her singing voice is pretty good!

2. "Forget You." Despite the fact that it was the clean version and it was missing Cee-Lo's incredible voice, that was a fun number. Good on Gwynnie once again for that!

3. Will was less terrible than usual. I liked his scenes with Holly Holiday a lot.

4. The flashbacks to Will constantly suggesting Journey songs were hilarious.

So there's a few things, mostly Paltrow related, that I thought were working last night. Things I wasn't so sure about include:

1. PLOT. Oh my god Glee writers, one of the main jobs of writers on television shows is to write a clear and cohesive plot each week. And yet, each week, you FAIL at this. FAIL FAIL FAIL. Let's just look at this week, because if we looked at the entire series as a whole either my head would explode or this one item would be novel-length. So just last night's then?
- Ahem, Sue is principal, Sue is bored with being Will's friend, Sue wants to destroy Glee club, wait, no she wants to disband football, wait no, she wants to ban tater tots. Okay let's settle on that then, tater tots. Mercedes is upset that Kurt keeps ditching her, no wait, she is weirdly obsessed with tater tots, no wait, she is using food to replace love AND Kurt to replace a boyfriend (Of course she is because she is a fat girl, and since fat girls can't get boyfriends they just hang out with gay guys and eat. EWW Glee, eww.) oh now she is going to date a hot guy so presumably the fact that Kurt has been a crappy friend to her since he met a guy he likes is totally fine now, and she will no longer be hallucinating about tater tots. Like, how did these even COME UP as ideas in the writer's room? I imagine the Glee writer's room as a group of dudes coming up with a bunch of scenes and then asking a monkey to come up with the thinnest plot possible to connect them, and then they work on the monkey's plot a little to make it less sensible. Then voila! An episode of Glee is created!
"Okay monkey, connect these things: Will and Mike Chang do a Broadway number, Gwyneth Paltrow as Mary Todd Lincoln, Sue's the principal now, Fat girl loves tater tots, all the Glee kids as little children, Vapo-Rub, gay guys love Vogue, GO!!!" WTF?!

2. Characters. Why are they all jerks most of the time? Is this show just telling me that show-people are jerks? Maybe it is. I guess I can believe that.

3. Mashups. Sometimes they can be cool (Grey Album anyone?) but most of the time they just make both songs sound awful. Since your show's value comes mostly from the fun and cool music, stop with the bad mashups!

4. Sue vs. Will. I know I covered plot pretty generally already, but the whole "Sue is trying to destroy glee club" storyline is way more boring than the "Will and Sue as weird frenemies" plotline. For one, the show is called Glee so I'm pretty sure she is not going to succeed in destroying the glee club. Also, "glee in peril" was the arc of the first season, so it is definitely time to move on. I don't know if this episode was bringing it back for good or just this once (ask the monkey!) but hopefully they will just let it die.

5. Not enough Santana, she is really pretty. Really pretty.

6. How could they ever win a contest when they sing different songs every single week?!! I mean I understand it would be lame if they sang the same songs every week...but the whole "lesson plan" idea is dumb.

I searched and searched (okay, I really just Googled it two different ways) to find the Kelly Kapoor quote from last week's office about Glee, because it really encapsulated my feelings about this show. She asked like half of the plot questions that have been driving me insane all season! Since I can't find that, I will just end with this. There is a lot of potential in this show, and I want it to be better, so it drives me extra crazy when it is stupid. And since it is stupid most of the time, that is a lot of crazy. Come on Glee, be better, you've got a good cast, a good concept, and millions of fans who watch this show every week. DO IT BETTER.

I'm back with some more 90210 talk!

2010-11-17T13:32:00.004-05:00

These two are adorable.

I'm back! After a one week personal hiatus for which I have no excuse, here I am! So before we get into the new episode here's a quick recap of what happened last week:

-After accidentally taking the wrong baby home from some kind of baby trunk show sale thing and then letting her kid fall off a changing table, Jen (Sara Foster, who I think is prego in real life!) decided she was a terrible mother and abandoned her child, thereby proving she is a terrible mother. (Question, why has no one suggested postpartum depression or worried about Jen at all here? I mean I hate the woman, so that's my excuse, but you would think that her sister or the father of her child might have some concern.)

-Naomi (AnnaLynn McCord) and Ivy (Gillian Zinser) teamed up to humiliate Oscar, who I almost just called Oliver. Now Naomi and Ivy are friends.

-Adrianna (Jessica Lowndes) stopped acting like a horrible person long enough to make Navid (Michael Steger) and Silver (Jessica Stroup) feel all guilty for their "slow lean in towards a kiss, but not actually a kiss" thing. Who takes that long to kiss someone?!! That was the slowest lean ever.

-After an awesome sting where Silver dressed up like an aspired porn actress, she and Navid found out that his company is a little lax about the whole "over 18 to be in porn thing"/

-Navid freaked out and told his guidance counselor that his father was a child pornographer. (Not exactly how I would have put it, especially if I were 17 year old boy who has actually had sex, but Navid's got a pretty black and white view of the world so it kind of makes sense.)

So those were the major points! On to this week's ep!

-OMG yay Teddy (Trevor Donovan) is back! He is sorry about driving stoned AND totally checking out a gay bar! Yay Teddy! As you can see, I am still loving this storyline. I was thinking that Ian (Kyle Riabko) is being incredibly nice and patient with Teddy considering what a jerk Teddy has been to him, but then I looked at Teddy and realized of course he is, Teddy is crazy hot.

-Annie (Shenae Grimes) had some scenes with Charlie and his college roommates and ex-girlfriend that were so boring I contemplated beginning a campaign to have all college students punched in the face. Because seriously, if this is how college kids talk nowadays, they deserve it.

Weird face alert!

-Then Naomi told Annie she had to have sex with Charlie to "lock him down" which led to Annie coming out of his bathroom in her underwear in front of all his roommates. So that was awesome.

-Then Charlie TOTALLY lied to her about how he got his scars, because Liam has the EXACT same scars yet was not mentioned in his "abusive uncle" story. A theory on this? Charlie killed the abusive uncle and blamed it on Liam. (That was Sarah's theory, not mine, but I like it!)

-Ryan (Ryan Eggold) and Deb (Lori Loughlin) had some awkward sex. (That guy really likes the older ladies!) And then he forgot his baby at her house. Just for a second, but seriously, this poor child. Mistaken for another child, abandoned by his mother and then forgotten by his father in the span of like 3 weeks! That is rough. Jack is gonna be SO troubled on 90210-The Third Generation.

-Navid's dad is now being investigated by the police because of Navid's slip about "child porn" to the guidance counselor last week. Since he is guilty, he decided to just run away. TO IRAN. Because if there is one thing they love in Iran, it's pornographers! I mean come on Mr. Shirazi, this is America and you are clearly incredibly rich, so I think you could probably buy your way out of jail or at least get a pretty lenient sentence. No? Not a good plan? Well okay then, off you go, to Iran, otherwise known as 'the land of freedom'. Don't worry about your wife and children, I'm sure they'll be fine.

-Adrianna was a total insensitive jerk. That could basically be the line for her in every episode. Also, she totally has the #1 single in the country or something.

-At the end, Navid went to Silver, because he needs someone to talk to. Not just someone, her. SWOON.

Best 90210-watcher quotes of the night:

Re: Teddy.
"I still just want to make out with him. He looks like he'd be a good....kisser." -S

"Of course Teddy has no problem getting served at the gay bar, because he looks 35."- K. "That's because he IS 35!"-S.

"There's been awkward no-sex, awkward actual sex and now..."-K. "I want awkward gay sex!"-Sh.

Next week:
WHY CAN I NEVER REMEMBER THE PREVIEWS?! It's because they are awful.

90210 was almost too good to make fun of! (Almost)

2010-11-03T13:31:00.003-04:00

See what I'm talking about here?!

Okay, so only two of my predictions from last week came true 1. Dixon (Tristan Wilds) and Ivy (Gillian Zinser) got back together (for like a minute) and 2. Teddy (Trevor Donovan) was back looking all hot and stuff. Super hot! I'm usually not that into Teddy, but his outfit was so freakin' adorable last night I couldn't stand it. I found it unrealistic that Ian (Kyle Riabko) made it through his hosting gig without professing his love for Teddy, and that Silver (Jessica Stroup) didn't want to get back together with him. I really love pea coats and vertical stripes, what can I say?

So what was good? Lots.

-First of all, my dream came true, and we had an episode featuring Teddy, Ian and Navid (Micheal Steger) and NOT featuring Adrianna (Jessica Lowndes)or Jen (Sara Foster). Perfect.

-Navid is adorable. It makes me sad that we had evidence of how great his parents are RIGHT BEFORE he realizes his dad might have used an underage actress in his porn movie. I think it is interesting that they aren't just using his dad's profession as a total joke like they did the first couple of seasons.

-Um, Navid and Silver are totally going to fall in love. I can't believe I have never seen this before, but they are actually the perfect couple! Both smart, ambitious, a little nerdy and they are actually good people! So, SUCK IT ADRIANNA. (On a side note, it is crazy to me how easily I switch couple alliances on this show. Usually I root for couple even years after they have broken up. I don't know if this speaks to the fact that this show really makes the breakups realistic, or just that they are in high school and they shouldn't be together forever anyway, or I am old and jaded and I just don't care anymore. Um, I'm gonna go with YAY 90210 on this one.)

-Teddy is still angrily (and interestingly!) struggling with his sexuality, and Ian is still bringing it up EVERY TIME he sees him. Stop apologizing for making him uncomfortable dude! That is what is making him uncomfortable! (I still really like these two, can't wait til they move past this awkward phase!)

-I think the whole Naomi (AnnaLynn McCord) pressing charges against Cannon (Hal Ozsan) storyline was done really well. I loved the exchange in the police station about "fair fights" I liked her and Oscar working together to find out the truth about him, and even though the whole Cannon fleeing the country thing is a little silly, I liked how they portrayed Naomi as really needing this closure, and not at all agreeing with Annie (Shenae Grimes) that "it's over now." This is a really tough subject to handle on a fairly light show, and I think for what it is, they've done a pretty good job.

-Well if he can't be drunk and funny, at least they are letting Mr. Matthews (Ryan Eggold) be likeable and smart. So that's something.

-So I like Oscar now. This just in.

-Also, I loved loved loved that the key to catching Cannon was the fact that he got all insane when Oscar (Blair Redford) suggested he had a Cockney accent, and that Oscar was thinking about his fake accent SO MUCH he brought it up to Naomi for no real reason! British snobbery saves the day once again!!

-No Jen or Deb! (I know I liked them last week, but I did not miss them At. All.)

-"The Undies" thing was sort of funny. Way funnier than the stupid human auction thing.

Bummer things:

-Dixon and Ivy broke up again. Again. Will they ever just have sex?!!

-Harper's voice is so annoying. Her dad is played by a super nice dad from a show from my childhood that I cannot remember right now, but even so, I didn't like seeing him be a jerk.

-Seriously where is this Liam storyline headed? Now he's a drug mule? Or going to have to beat those dudes up? Will he need Annie's help or something? I'm not seeing it.

-Liam seems as about annoyed with his storyline right now as I am.

-I hate the girl who plays Laura, the purse cocaine girl. I mean Liam is hot and everything, but her shamelessness is consistently gross and not funny. They have a tough time with funny on this show. At least when they are purposely trying to be humorous.

-Ivy needs to get her attitude back! Stop the moping!

-The woman who plays the cop is still a terrible actress.

Next week:
Did you forget for a second that Adrianna is a terrible terrible person? Well, next week, you will remember! Dear lord, if 90210 was actually the show that the CW's promo department makes it look like, I couldn't even watch it as a joke.

90210 has performed a miracle!

2010-10-28T14:16:00.004-04:00

And what are the miracles I am talking about here? There were a few surprises in this week's episode of 90210, but I will admit, really only one miracle. Okay here goes. This is tough for me to believe, but here it is: I didn't hate Jen. I kind of even liked her. I mean Sara Foster is still just awful, (see Nathan Rabin of the AV Club's review of The Big Bounce for an incredibly satisfying takedown of her skills as an actress) but Jen's anger after finding out that Naomi (AnnaLynn McCord) had been raped made her sympathetic while still being in character. I have been wondering how they were going to humanize the monster and figured that giving her a baby was supposed to do it, so I'm glad she found out and was able to let her sisterly instincts shine through. Also, if Deb (Lori Loughlin) continues to put her in her place with a smile, ("Jen, don't be a bitch. Follow me girls!") she might become one of my favorite characters on the show! So there it is. I liked both Jen and Deb in this week's episode. If that is not a miracle, then I don't know what one is. (Note: It is entirely possible that I don't know what one is.)

Other pleasant surprises in the ep?

-Maybe Jen is gonna take down Mr. McRapey?!! That has the makings of awesomeness.

-Ryan (Ryan Eggold) didn't even hesitate to risk his job for Naomi and the rest of the girls at West Bev's safety. I was afraid he was going to have some kind of moral dilemma that we were supposed to sympathize with, which would have been ridiculous, because it is incredibly clear what the right thing to do there would be.

-Dixon (Tristan Wilds) actually just told Ivy (Gillian Zinser) the truth! A little late maybe, but it was still refreshing to see him just spill his guts totally.

-Oscar finally went through with his plan to destroy Laurel! This story has just been plugging along in the background for me, and in a weird way, I kind of found myself sympathizing with Oscar. I mean this woman helped destroy his family and began a chain of events that would eventually lead to his mother's death, not to mention the fact that she was sleeping with him, a kid she had known since he was a child, AFTER having already slept with his father. That is some gross stuff Laurel. Seriously. So I was kind of rooting for him. I do feel bad that poor Ivy was caught up in the whole thing though. She did not take it well, let me say that. Hopefully this will lead her to forgiving Dixon, and then they can finally sleep together and she can the best night of her life!

Things I did not like:

-Despite some arresting visuals, the Liam (Matt Lanter) story is not working for me,
I don't really get where he is coming from re: Annie, and the whole "living the pool house of a crazy girl who likes him obsessively" thing just isn't as funny to me as it is to the writers of this show. I am not even remotely interested in these two having wacky hijinks.

-Adrianna Jessica Lowndes). Ugh ugh ugh. Ugh. When Navid (Michael Steger) told her "You're not a bad person." I was yelling "Yes she is! She really really is!" at the screen. Then, just a few scenes later, she proves it by deciding to stick with Uncle Creepy. I am really disappointed that they have taken a character with a lot of layers (addiction, pregnancy, troubled relationship with mom, acting ambition vs. wanting to just be a kid, etc.) and reduced her to an idiot whose only personality trait is a desire for fame. Yuck.

-No Teddy (Trevor Donovan) and Ian! I want my Teddy and Ian!!! Just give me an episode that features Teddy and Navid and I will be a happy camper. I am always missing one of them.

Assorted weirdness:

-The Annie (Shenae Grimes) and Charlie story. I never before got a feeling that maybe Charlie was a psycho, and I am not even sure if we are supposed to think that is a possibility or if we are just supposed to think that Annie is insane and paranoid. Given those two choices, I will always assume that the girl making seizure faces is crazy. Charlie and Liam having matching scars did intrigue me though.

-Are there really stores where muscular men help you whilst not wearing a shirt? This seems creepy to me. All I could think about was the fact that they could be sweating on the merchandise or something.

-Jack vs. Jacques = who cares?

Next week: Damn it! I cannot remember the preview at all. Here are some assumptions: Dixon and Ivy get back together, Jen does something awful to Mr. Cannon, Silver and Navid get to use their judgeyness for good instead of annoyingness by totally judging Adrianna, and Teddy is back, looking all hot and stuff. Let's see what pans out!!

90210- Better Late than Never?

2010-10-13T23:12:00.002-04:00

Oh they are going to make the cutest couple!

Well I'm a little late here, but here I am, ready to talk about "Catch Me if You Cannon", which involved no actual catching of Mr. Cannon, but some catching of Ian. So there was catching. I gotta tell you, whoever names these episodes does a terrible job.

Even though the setup was beyond cliche, I am still liking Teddy (Trevor Donovan) and Ian's (Kyle Riabko) scenes together. Though at this point if Ian ever wants to date Teddy he might end up in an abusive relationship. Teddy was so aggressive with him that I really wasn't sure if he was going to catch him when he was falling off the roof! I guess the aggression makes sense because Teddy is definitely struggling with his sexuality. I like that the show seems to be taking the slow burn approach with this, because it makes it a bit more realistic. I am really liking the Ian character too! The show is definitely not shying away from any aspect of this story, including Teddy's 'performance problems' with the ladies...I wonder if Silver ever experienced that?

And speaking of Silver...well Silver's plan to catch Mr. Cannon (or as you may know him "Mr. Rapes-a-lot") was as stupid and ill-conceived as I thought it would be. Also, dangerous! Oh Silver. The one thing I loved about this entire storyline was that they put Silver (Jessica Stroup) in like 8-inch heels for that last scene where she is trying to intimidate him. She was towering over him! That's probably why he looked nervous, because I don't really know why he would be shaking in his boots over Silver's next 'great plan'. I would love to see him get his comeuppance though, so prove me wrong Silver and Naomi (AnnaLynn McCord)! (I won't even mention Adrianna's contributions to this 'plan', mostly because they consisted of her standing around and mumbling. They are really killing this character for me this season. And where was Navid?!!)

I chose this one because Jen looks stupid in it.

Jen (Sara Foster) and Ryan (Ryan Eggold) had their baby. I think it looked like Ryan somehow, even though it was a little baby that just kind of looked like a baby. Other people thought I was insane, but I really thought the kid looked like him. The baby was cute, Jen was awful, and I can't wait until she dies and Ryan has to raise little Jack/Jacques on his own or something. That sounds like it has the makings for adorableness! Paging 90210 writers! Make this happen!

Hmm what else happened on this episode? Kind of a lot actually!

-Dixon (Tristan Wilds) does not have HIV (big surprise there.), but he did dump Ivy (Gillian Zinser) because he thought he did (this was one of those JUST TELL PEOPLE THE TRUTH moments) and then she banged Oscar, who is just sleeping with her to somehow ruin her mother's life. I assume he is going to ruin her mother's life by grossing her out to death, because at this point the mom has slept with him and his dad and Oscar has slept with both Ivy and her mom. That is yucky.

-Annie got back together with Charlie (even though he is still has some kind of secret regarding screwing Liam over) and decided not to donate her eggs. Because she held the spawn of the devil and Ryan.

-Why did Annie hold Jack/Jacques you might ask? Because Deb now works for Jen as some kind of assistant/Nanny person. Therefore integrating Jen and Ryan with th rest of the cast, because let's be honest, I haven't seen Mr. Matthews in school much lately.

-Liam (Matt Lanter) is living in his car. His brother offered him a hotel room to live in (I was like YES!!! Just like Dylan McKay!!!) but he just trashed it instead so as to really let his brother know that he hates him. What a badass. He's still mad at Annie for reasons I do not understand, so she's getting back with the brother. Probably a good plan, Annie, except for his evil secret or whatever. Eh, I'd chance it.

Next week:
All I really remember from the preview is a lot of shots of Liam without his shirt on, so I am assuming it's gonna be a good episode.

90210- The good, the bad, THE CRAZY

2010-10-06T13:19:00.002-04:00

The Good:

-The whole Liam (Matt Lanter) trying to seduce Annie (Shenae Grimes) storyline. It was fun, it brought me back to a Dylan/Brenda type thing and it had some shirtless Liam. A lot of win going on there. Also, Shenae Grimes had a good episode where she didn't annoy the crap out of me and acted kind of normal and cute.

-Silver (Jessica Stroup) going all mama-bear and wanting to protect Naomi (Annalynn McCord)! Even though I am sure this will lead so some kind of ill thought out and dangerous plan, still, I like it. And, let's be real, her hair looks better now that it's growing out. (I didn't think it was that bad short though...)

-Silver dumping Teddy (Trevor Donovan) for being a 'homophobic jerk'! Yes! Good for her! Lots of teenage girls would try to make excuses for him, but she was like "NEXT!" (She is definitely in for a surprise on that front though...)

-Teddy and Ian's (Kyle Riabko) palpable sexual chemistry! I think Trevor Donovan is doing a pretty admirable job of portraying someone confused and afraid of his own feelings. When I heard about this storyline I felt like it was kind of out of the blue, but I think with good performances from both guys AND the great chemistry between them, it's actually really working.

-Ivy (Gillian Zinser) decided she wants to sleep with Dixon (Tristan Wilds)! Cause she lurves him! So cute. And, judging by the way his former ladyfriends have acted, get ready for the best night of your life Ivy!!! Oh, wait, maybe not...

-Deb didn't totally annoy or bore me, so I'm putting her in the good column. Remember this at Emmy time Lori Loughlin!

The Bad:

-The entire Adrianna storyline, including Jessica Lowndes' horrendous acting. She did a lot of good work in the first couple of seasons, but she has been just awful this season!

-Lack of Navid! Come on, now Navid is just a nerd joke punchline or a concerned boyfriend? I demand MORE NAVID!

-If people on TV would just tell other people the truth, like once in awhile, there lives would be so much easier! I'm looking at you, Adrianna Tate-Duncan!

-The entire concept of charity bachelor auction of high school boys is, in a word, BAD. Also, the dance routine made me feel embarrassed.

-Liam being super mad at Annie for dating his estranged half brother. Because she clearly did not know.

THE CRAZY-

-Um, showing up at a charity bachelor auction of high school boys to tell your ex (who is a kid and you are an adult, just btw) who hates you with a passion because of a faked pregnancy, that you are HIV POSITIVE. I mean she BID ON HIM! That is totally crazytown. Sasha, you have not changed a bit.

-Sasha's reveal that Dixon might be HIV positive made me gasp! Whoa!!!

-Javier's uncle is really crappy at blackmailing. You can't just keep pushing and pushing when you are blackmailing someone! You gotta make them feel comfortable for awhile like things are gonna be okay and then BAM you hit them with your next demand. Doing it all at once is recipe for, at best, the truth to come out, and at worst, for you to get murdered. Hey, Uncle Creepy, why don't you watch a few episodes of Law & Order and get back to me. Your blackmailing methods are kind of insane.

-Annie's gonna donate her eggs! There's gonna be a little baby Annie running around! I can't wait to see the crazy baby faces he or she makes!

Next week: The previews showed me something dumb and almost totally unrelated to any of the stories I cared about this week. Oh, right. Deb is gonna work for Jen. Wow! My two least favorite characters together at last! A real dream come true here.

90210- A hook up, some making up, an OD, and Silver finally gets it.

2010-09-29T13:46:00.002-04:00

Oh where to begin?! I'm gonna start with Silver Jessica Stroup), mostly because her picture is right there. (Thanks for having a whole two decent pictures from this episode up, cwtv.com) Silver spent the first half of the episode being a stone cold bitch to everyone, (pretty much just Naomi and Teddy, but you get me) except the obviously creepy Mr. Cannon. Thank goodness that annoying girl forced her to edit those stupid "where will I be in 10 years" (um, playing a teenager on 90210?) videos, because without them not only would she have continued being mean to Teddy, she would have totally gotten raped. Sometimes, being incredibly annoying is helpful!

So Silver narrowly escaped the grossness that is, Mr. Cannon; Raping Teacher. Thank goodness that tea was too hot! I found the whole "Mr. Cannon is gonna roofie Silver" scene so weird, because he was acting strangely nervous about the whole thing, instead of being the vicious predator he was with Naomi. I was like "Are we supposed to feel bad for him here because he is getting so flustered? What is going on? Maybe this was his first time using roofies?"

So after getting stalked, invited to a teacher's house and almost roofied, finally, Silver gets it, and runs straight to Naomi (AnnaLynn McCord), who has accidentally overdosed on some sleeping pills and wine. Ugh. It grosses me out to no end that Silver just didn't believe Naomi even though she was so clearly a mess. Also, where has Annie been in this whole story? Doesn't she know a thing or two about not being believed? Anyway, instead of just calling 911 like a normal person, Silver keeps shaking Naomi and trying to talk to her. This chick is just full of the smart moves lately.

Oh, and she text-forgave Teddy (Trevor Donovan), which I am sure the dude was giddy about.

EXCEPT- it turns out that Teddy hooked up with a guy in the five seconds that they weren't together!!! BOOYEAH! Ladies, if your boyfriend spends a night in a fancy hotel with a guy after you have been broken up for less than 24 hours...he's gay. So there it is. It looks like the whole Teddy/Silver thing is about to get interesting! Thanks to 90210 and Jessica Stroup for making Silver really annoying to me so that I don't care if she and Teddy break up. Also, the dude he hooked up with was cute!

Hmm, in Adrianna (Jessica Lowndes) news, her boyfriend was M.I.A. (seriously, IS Navid on this show anymore?), she is an awful person who stole a dead man's song and then became a Youtube sensation. But, GIRL BUSTED. Javier's uncle has a demo him singing the song six months ago! I can't believe it turns out that her brilliant plant to steal his songbook isn't going to work! I assume that Javier's uncle is gonna use this information to blackmail her, despite the fact that he swore that he would do anything to preserve "this kid's legacy" or something. (Side note, when I die, I really want a big-ass picture of me like Javier had at the front of the room during the memorial. Take note friends and family: BIG ASS PICTURE O' ME. What's good enough for Javier is good enough for Krista. )

On the Annie tip, Shanae Grimes needs to go back to acting class, because the weird faces were in full effect! Granted, she had to react to some strange conversations, but still. Tone down the face honey. It turns out that Hallie Lowenthal and Jack from Days of Our Lives (Where is Jennifer?!!) want her to sell them her eggs so they can have a baby. They point out that Annie kind of looks like Hallie Lowenthal (which I never would have noticed, but it's kinda true) and has a great smile or something. This "find an intern that kind of looks like one of us to sell us her eggs" is the strangest scheme ever. But somehow I totally called this, I think because of the 'responsible" thing in the first episode. However, I legitimately do no know if she's gonna go for it. So good on you 90210, nice suspense.

Um what else? Dixon (Tristan Wilds) and Ivy (Gillian Zinser) got back together, and Dixon didn't even have to grovel because it turned out Ivy lied to him about how she's a virgin. It also turns out that Ivy has major daddy issues. And another thing, Oscar (that's the British guy) is out to destroy Ivy's mom (Kelly Lynch) for ruining his father's life! His machinations make a lot more sense now that I know this. So, daddy issues for everyone then!

No Deb (yay!), no Jen (super yay!) no Ryan (boo!) no Navid (super boo!).

Next week: SPOILER ALERT, looks like Naomi's gonna be okay, because usually, after a traumatic event you don't hold a MAN AUCTION!!

90210-Finally, someone told Jen to "Suck it!"

2010-09-22T11:27:00.000-04:00

I have to say, the beginning of the show where Naomi (AnnaLynn McCord) got her money back and Jen (Sara Foster) got denied was definitely the best part. It kind of went downhill from there for me. I think it is because every story line went exactly where I expected it to go (yet everyone acts completely inexplicably), with the exception of the whole Annie (Shenae Grimes)/Liam (Matt Lanter) thing. (Come on, no one expected that!!) Here's a breakdown!

The Good:

-Naomi told Jen to "suck it"! That was the best thing that happened! By far!

-The entire Naomi story is going well so far for me. She was pretty much the only character focused on tonight whose actions made any sense whatsoever. Even her lies seem like typical teenage screwups, especially considering what she has been through. And I completely understand why she wanted to run down the creepy rapist teacher.

-No Deb!

-The writers remembered that Liam was all rebellious and stuff!

-Naomi's 18th birthday party makes the tiara I wore at mine look decidedly tame.

The Bad:

-Jen is still on the show.

-Ryan Matthews' hair. And lack of drunk person beard.

-Ugh the fact that Ryan (Ryan Eggold) is moving in with Jen and she has to be on bedrest and she is so so alone and so sad and can't force anyone else to take care of her. I do not want to see Jen redeemed by pregnancy, motherhood, love or any combination thereof.

-Annie and Liam schmoopy talk. I thought I was okay with them being together, but then I saw it, and it was gross.

- The fact that everyone on this show with an accent is evil.

-The fact that I caught myself wondering "Is Navid (Michael Steger) even on this show anymore?"

-Seriously Ivy (Gillian Zinser), that was the tamest body shot ever. I cannot even understand why you would be pissed off at Dixon about such a thing.

-Silver's dress, Ivy's dress (or whatever it was) and to a lesser a extent, Naomi's dress.

The Inexplicable:

-Um, I guess Teddy's (Trevor Donovan) a drunk now? Or something? (THAT'S why his mouth tasted bad!)

-The fact that British dude is sleeping with Ivy's mom (Kelly Lynch), and somehow has concocted a plan to sleep with Ivy, as a means to keep sleeping with her mom? I don't get it. Women don't like it when you sleep with their daughters. This guy as a lot to learn about seduction.

-Adrianna (Jessica Lowndes) continues her downward spiral towards becoming a total sociopath. Remember when I used to like her?!

-Adrien Grenier is the drummer in a band? Okay. Good for him!

-Okay, let's talk about West Beverly High's "Senior Advisor" program. Why does it necessitate so much alone time between rapey teachers and students? I know that Harry: Amazing Principal, Terrible Husband is gone, but there has to be someone in the administration who can fix this!

-Annie meets a dude, decides to date Liam, dumps Liam and then calls the first dude all in like 2 days? Said dude is actually Liam's brother? Does he know Annie dated Liam for five seconds? Is Liam going to totally freak out when he sees them together? (The answer to that last question is a big fat YES.) This whole storyline is weird. At least I don't have to see Annie kiss Liam anymore.

- At this point, Dixon (Tristan Williams) has become the most likable character on the show.

-Silver completely disbelieving Naomi when admitted that Mr. McRapeypants, Journalism Teacher, raped her. Considering the character of Silver is supposed to be some big feminist, it doesn't sit with me that she would just dismiss that accusation out of hand the way she did, even considering Naomi's previous actions.

-Also, why is Silver fawning all over Mr. McRapeypants, Journalism Teacher anyway? He is clearly weird, and being totally inappropriate with her.

Next week: Adrianna's transformation into a super terrible person will be complete!

90210 is back! And it's crazy!

2010-09-15T00:56:00.004-04:00

Wow. Let no one say that 90210 didn't come back with a bang. I mean, I don't think anyone actually banged, but you know what I mean. That episode was intense!

First things first though. 90210 has tragically moved to Mondays. This is tragic because I watch it with my friends on Tuesdays, and do something else on Monday nights, so now you have to wait until Tuesday night for my posts and I have to spend the day running away from people who try to talk about 90210 to me. SPOILER ALERT people! I think we will all make it through this difficult time though, so not to worry.

On to this crazy episode! I'm gonna go by character, because so much happened in this ep, I don't even know how else to unpack it! I mean, there was an earthquake and everything!

Annie (Shenae Grimes)- Well either Shenae Grimes reads my blog or she spent the summer taking acting lessons, because her crazy face-making is down at least 80%. So good for her! Because of this, I hated her slightly less than usual, which is a pretty big achievement when you consider the fact that the only consequences she faced for drunkenly killing a guy were some offscreen house arrest and some hugs from her mom or something. I actually yelled "That's it?!" to my friend Sarah, even though her two kids were sleeping mere feet away from me and I should not have been so loud! But my rage got the better of me.

Anyway, I was actually halfway moved in the scene with scheming theater owner or whatever she is, where she talked about how killing that dude was a part of her and she was forever changed by it. It must be acting classes.

By the way, the scheming theater lady is played by the woman who played the hated Hallie Lowenthal on My So-Called Life, so I will have no problem hating her when her evil plan unfolds. (What nefarious thing does she want to do with Annie that requires her to be beautiful, responsible AND desperate? I cannot even venture a guess. How does 'responsible' ever work into a scheme!?)

So, the takeaway here is, I hate Annie less. Also, I have to admit that kiss with Liam was kind of hot. (Um, I would date the HELL out of that guy if I were her. Friends schmiends Annie!)

Phew, I had a lot to say about Annie's storyline, even though it wasn't even close to the craziest. Most insane story? It's a toughie, but I'm gonna give it to...Adrianna (Jessica Lowndes). Um, apparently over the summer Adrianna became a terrible terrible person. Thanks for taking all the joy out of the long awaited Ade/Navid reunion 90210! I mean when you find yourself asking about your career hours after watching your ex-boyfriend die in front of your eyes, it's time to reevaluate your priorities. "Oh man Laurel, sorry about someone you have known for like 10 years dying tragically, but the real question is, when am I getting back into the studio?!" I don't care how jerky he was being right before he died, that does not excuse stealing his songs and trying to record them as your own! I did enjoy it when Navid (Michael Steger) told her he had always been "lukewarm" on her songwriting. Nice accidental burn Navid!

Teddy/Silver- Everything about that storyline seemed kind of weird and rushed to me, but I do dig the Mia Farrow thing Silver(Jessica Stroup) has going on this season. Also I have been too spoiled about future developments with them to talk about it too much now! (Feel free to ask me about it in the comments or something! Or when you see me.) Poor Teddy (Trevor Donovan) and his torn ACL. Now instead of being a professional tennis star he'll just have to be the rich son of a famous actor. What will he do now? Go to college?! Oh how will he go on?!

But it cannot be said that Teddy's not a good guy, because he did try to stop Naomi (AnnaLynn McCord) from gangbanging some kids from school. She'll thank you for that some day pal, I promise. There are things that I like about this Naomi rape story, including, to be honest, the idea of having villain that is not one of the main cast and is truly beyond redemption, even if I think he might be a cartoonish in his awfulness. Unfortunately, I am not so sure that Annalynn McCord is a strong enough actress to carry this story. (Though they really did her a favor in rape reporting scene but casting one of the most wooden actresses ever. Was that a real cop or something?) I also don't like that they have her resorting to classic "slutty" behavior, especially since that is exactly what Annie did after she killed a dude. (Sext anyone?!) Hey 90210 writers, all women don't deal with trauma by becoming sex maniacs! I'm interested to see where this goes though, so I'm withholding judgment.

Ivy/Dixon/Austin Powers- There are so many reasons that I don't understand why Ivy would be fantasizing about that douchey British guy. Here are just a few:

1. His stupid ponytail

2. His accent isn't even hot.

3. He seems very inconsiderate.

4. Dixon is rocking a hot "young Michael Jackson" thing this season.

5. Dixon is obviously a tiger in the sack, considering Silver got his name tattooed on her hip after their first time and an ADULT WOMAN faked a pregnancy so she could keep sleeping with him.

6. They love each other! So step off Ponytail!

Deb(Lori Loughlin)- Big fat WHO CARES. For real. No one does.

Liam (Matt Lanter) Got kicked out of his house, wants Annie for some reason, is still hot. Here's a picture:

Ryan Matthews (Ryan Eggold)- I miss his drunk person beard.

The Kardashians- They suck at acting, Khloe's outfit was super unflattering, and I think in real life they would give their friend a dress, because they seem nice. Not that I watch shows with them in it or anything like that. I'm just saying.

Next week: I feel like the previews were kind of cryptic...Silver has Naomi's rapist as a senior advisor (which is an incredibly important thing at West Bev apparently), Teddy's mouth tastes bad? I don't know. Hopefully Jen (Sara Foster) won't be back, because I was annoyed just see her in the previouslies.

"I Never Thought About Love, When I Thought About Home" Mad Men: Season 4, This Season So Far.

2010-08-18T11:29:00.007-04:00

So far, this season of Mad Men has not been engaging me the way the first few seasons did. I was so exhilarated to see Don and Co. strike out on their own at the end of "Shut the Door, Have a Seat" I didn't fully consider the implications of such a move. The "successful at work/disaster at home" formula worked for me, and I have been have a hard time adjusting to the "shaky at work/unmitigated and total disaster in every other walk of life" identity that Don has taken on this season. Even though Don Draper is a right bastard, I don't really like seeing him get what's coming to him. Watching him pathetically unable to woo women who would have been throwing themselves at him a year before, seeing him forced to say goodbye to the one person who can actually say "I know everything about you, and I still love you.", seeing his children miserable without him (and with the ever more monstrous Betty) is just getting too relentlessly grim for me. Even the moments in the show that cause you to laugh or smile do it wistfully, with nothing like the triumph that came when Don Draper would get a one-up on someone in seasons past.

Don't get me wrong, the acting is still wonderful, and Jon Hamm still amazes me with how he is able to shift from being Don Draper to Dick Whitman in subtle, barely perceptible ways. (Get this man an Emmy!) The show is still miles better than anything on television right now. But there is something of letdown in the fact that even though it seemed that many characters were getting the change they wanted and so needed at the end of last season, they are still just stuck. Stuck married to idiot man-children, stuck being idiot man-children, stuck making a choice between career girl and happy homemaker, stuck between something new and something old. But more than the that, the grimness comes from a sense that each of these people is just so alone. Don, Joan, Peggy, Betty, these are all incredible dynamic people afraid to show their true selves to anyone, afraid to give love, to be loved, to actually connect with someone else. It brings a darkness to the show that is making it hard for me to connect with them this season.

So my hope for the rest of the season? Don gets a little swagger back, Joan gets a little spine back (at home), Peggy realizes she can have a different life than her mother and still be happy....and Betty? Well, it's hard to imagine a happy ending for her, even with my relentless optimism. Um, Betty keeps ignoring Bobby and therefore does not totally destroy him the way she will her daughter? That's kinda happy. I'll take it. (Also, more Roger. NEED MORE ROGER)

Lost, Series Finale. So much crying.

2010-05-24T12:02:00.004-04:00

So, Lost ended, and I sobbed. I, for one, found the series finale to be pretty satisfying. I don't think any television show could actually hold up to the kind of scrutiny Lost fans will be putting the finale, though I can certainly see that it all doesn't fit together quite perfectly. But saying that, there was mostly greatness going on last night, especially with the character beats/emotional moments. We'll get to that in a minute, but FIRST, let's talk about what mysteries the show actually solved for us and where it left us hanging. (I think that the big stuff has pretty much been revealed, but leave your biggest Lost questions in the comments if you disagree!)

What is answered:

What is the Island anyway?
This one, in my opinion was made fairly clear in the show and stated explicitly in these leaked pages from the script. It's a cork keeping the world out of hell. So it's pretty damn important.

What was up with the Dharma Initiative?
It totally baffles me that people still ask this question. They were a research group studying the Islands unique properties. They were sort of weird, but mostly in a human, explainable way.

Why can't ladies have babies on the Island?
Because of "The Incident", whether that incident was the electromagnetic even caused by Dharma's drilling or the hydrogen bomb set off by Juliet. Ethan was the last child born on the island, not long before this.

What was up with The Others? Why did they do such weird and awful things?
Hmm a group of the faithful doing awful things in the name of a peaceful dude? Weird, that never happens.

Why does Jacob bring people to the island?
Because the Smoke Monster wants to kill him, and he needs to find someone to replace him.

Why them?
Their lives sucked. They were, well, lost.

What happens when the Smoke Monster leaves the island?
I think he needs the light to be out to leave the island, so pretty much, the world gets sucked into hell.

Questions where they left us hanging:

A lot of the purgatory world.
I think there a lot of weird things going on over there in purgatory world (Why did Jack have a son? With Juliet? Since when did Christian Shepard get so great that he leads people into heaven? Where did Faraday, Miles, et all end up?) but I think most of it is kind of purposely left open for interpretation. I get why that annoys some people, but it doesn't annoy me. (Jack had a son to work out his daddy issues, Christian spent time in the purgatory world redeeming himself, Faraday passed through with his family, etc.) and as a subset to this:

What was the deal with the shot of the Island being sunk in the beginning of this season?
Maybe there's no hell in purgatory world so no need for the island? But we know Ben and his dad at least remember the island existing in that world so...is that a false memory? Are they only living the time loop from 815 landing to going to heaven, and the rest is just fake memories? Or did they actually live these lifetimes in this world getting ready to move on? And if the second one is true, what happened to the island?

Waaaaaaalt!
Okay, it was a mistake. Casting a kid on the cusp of puberty to play someone the same age for years on end was a mistake. I get why people want to know about Walt, but I guess I am cool with it because he isn't the only character on the show to have unexplained magical powers. Hurley can see and talk to dead people. Miles can hear the thoughts of corpses. Jacob can make people immortal. We never saw the origin of any of those powers, and I am satisfied to say that Walt had some supernatural abilities, and he was trying to use them help his friends on the island.

"Raised by another"
Aaron seemed fine being raised by Kate. Maybe Claire's mom just paid that psychic to convince her not to give up her baby for adoption or something.

The numbers.
How did the lighthouse numbers end up in so many places? How did the Dharma people get them? I guess they didn't mean anything more than the degrees on the mirror in the lighthouse. We did win at Keno playing them on Saturday night though, so I think they must mean something.

What's the deal with the four toed statue? Who built it?
Jacob maybe? I don't even really have a theory for this one.

Time travel?
Narrative-wise I think the time travel story was enormously successful. It explained a lot about Dharma, Widmore, Ben's origins and gave us Sawyer/Juliet. I still don't really get why the Island time traveled though. Or why it stopped. The time travel thing seemed so important in Season 5, and even though I think it delivered in a lot of ways, it seemed not to mean much this season.

Did the hydrogen bomb make the purgatory world thing?
And if so...huh?

Libby.
Some people really want to know more about Libby, why she was in the mental institution with Hurley and why did she give Desmond the boat. I am not one of those people.

What happened to everybody not dead?! (before they were dead)
Did Desmond get home? Did Kate, Sawyer, Claire, Miles, Lapidus and Richard make it?! Did Kate and Claire raise Aaron together? Did Desmond and Penny get another awesome reunion that I was deprived of? What did Hurley and Ben do on the Island after everyone left? How long were they on there for? Is Ji-Yeon still super cute? I of course know they did this on purpose, but still, I want to know.

So there are questions unanswered, plot holes that can only be filled with crazy theories and narrative threads dropped. I admit that. But I still think that finale was pretty much amazing. The character stuff just worked for me totally, and I am a huge sap so I cried a lot. The reunions and flashbacks were pretty much uniformly amazing. The best ones?

Sawyer and Juliet- This is pretty much what I have been waiting for all season. I know some people don't watch this show for love stories and character studies, but those people need to stop being such robots and have a heart. The Juliet/Sawyer love story in Season 5 was one of the best and most surprising storylines, and it was so amazing to see them together again. Had I been alone, when he said "It's me baby, I'm here." I probably would have made the most terrible sobbing noise. Josh Holloway and and Elizabeth Mitchell sold it. Even the doubters knew at that point, Juliet and Sawyer belonged together.

Jack and Locke- To see John Locke again! The real John Locke, whole, with all his memories. That kind, gentle smile he gave Jack from the hospital bed made me so happy. I think that the purgatory/heaven angle of the story was most satisfying for me because of Locke. I needed to see him find out that he was right all along, and that he was special. Terry O'Quinn is an amazing actor, and if some network doesn't pick up his buddy cop show with Michael Emerson, I'm gonna take out a loan and film in my parent's backyard or something.

Charlie and Claire-This is where the full on crying started. They have been apart for so long, and Charlie dying to try and rescue them was so sad. I was just really happy to see them together again. And the way Charlie looked at Aaron...with such love. I am choking up right now! Right now!

Other moments that destroyed me emotionally:

-Jack and Kate saying goodbye on the cliff. Sniff. Jate forever!!!

-Jack passing on the mantle of Island protector to Hurley.

-Hurley asking Ben for his help, and Ben accepting beautifully. Michael Emerson is so good.

-Jack telling Desmond that he had done enough and he needed to go home to his family.

-Jack dying with Vincent by his side, looking so happy that his friends had made it off the island, and completely ready to go. Great work by Matthew Fox in that scene. It was brutal, and I am actually kind of crying again thinking about it.

Best Cinematography goes to:
Jack jumping at the Smoke Monster on the cliff. Sometimes the visuals can be cheesy on Lost, but that scene made up for it, because it looked awesome enough for pretty much the rest of the series.

For me this show was always about the characters first, and the mysteries second. Despite the unanswered questions, I think the creators served the characters they created incredibly well. From the joy on Jin and Sun's faces when they realized who they really were to the fact that Jack was the last to accept he was dead, the characters were spot-on. For a show with such ambitious plots, Lost never lost track of who the people we were rooting for really were. It's not a perfect show, but that's a rare achievement in such a long running TV series. So yay Lost!

P.S.

I seriously could not pictures up on this, because it was making me sad looking at them.

A darker side of West Bev.

2010-05-20T12:24:00.001-04:00

Well, the finale started all sweetness and light, with everyone's (ie. my) favorite couples reuniting all sweetly and stuff. But let me tell you, once the clock hit that 8:35 mark, things went downhill FAST! Here's your finale scorecard!

Reunited:
Ivy (Gillian Zinser) and Dixon (Tristan Wilds)- Twice actually. These two were super cute tonight, and I loved that Ivy was totally embarrassed yet touched by Dixon's dorky planetarium show. Hopefully Deb (Lori Loughlin) and Harry (Rob Estes) will be too busy getting divorced and dealing with Annie to even notice that he's gone, and these two can have a great time in "Allstrailia" (that's how Dixon says it.) and continue their cuteness next season. In an episode where almost everything turned pretty sour at the end, these two got a happy-ish ending, even if Dixon has to bail on the trip.

Teddy (Trevor Donovan) and Silver (Jessica Stroup)- Silver tried to resist getting back together with Teddy for some unknown reason, but eventually she caved, probably because he looks like a Ken-doll, is pretty smart, sweet, rich and plays pro-tennis. Or, "tiniss" as Silver calls it. They were pretty much the only two people on the show who didn't have some kind of bummer ending, so when I start to get sad about all the awful things that happened, I just think of the pretty and smile.

Navid (Michael Steger) and Adrianna (Jessica Lowndes)!- Yay! My favorite teenage couple is back together! And they are awesome as ever! So great right? Fine, no problem, everything is great? But no, of course not, because that would be boring or something. Not to me, but to viewers who aren't interested in seeing a show exclusively about how awesome Navid and Adrianna are, and how they do and say cute and funny things. So that means stupid Javier has to ask Ade to go on a world tour with him. For a year. She better not go. Or better yet she should go, and then see that Javier is just a creep trying to get with her, and then she can come back and run into Navid's arms! There. I just wrote Season 3's Navid/Adrianna arc for you 90210. You're welcome.

Broken Up:
Liam (Matt Lanter) and Naomi (AnnaLynn McCord). Because Naomi is the world's worst girlfriend if you want someone to talk to or help you on a regular basis. Sometimes she can really come through in a clutch, but most of the time, she is just a self centered idiot. So he dumped her, pretty rightfully. Bummer for Naomi.

Harry and Deb! Pretty much. That is obviously what is going to happen. Mostly because Deb seems to hate Harry with her entire soul and since her kissing a hottie yoga teacher didn't do it, she's gonna harp him into hating her back. Have a fun summer Wilson kids!

Getting Closer:
Liam and Annie (Shenae Grimes). I want to like this couple, I really do. They could be the Brenda/Dylan of new 90210. But oh, Annie. You are so annoying.

Fired:
Harry! For the whole covering up for Dixon thing, which I find totally unrealistic because school administrators do things like that all time. I think it is part of the reason people want power. So they can use it to help their family and friends, right? The superintendent was probably a woman who hated Harry, because all women do.

Setting an awesome boat on fire:
Jasper. What a jerk. I love seeing him hobble away on his crutches though. He is one dedicated arsonist.

Beating the crap out of Jasper:
Liam! Don't kill him dude! Even though your boat is awesome, he is so not worth it! On the brighter side, maybe his parents will forget all about the whole "stealing coins" thing. I know I practically have.

Pregnant with a drunk's baby!
Well that would be Jen. Good for her.

Drunk!
Well that would be Ryan Matthews, teacher extraordinaire. He stole a shuttle van, drunk drove that to his own car, failed to help Naomi and then hit the sign, causing fire to spout out of it and then follow his car in a line. It was beautiful. I have to be on Jen's side here when she says she doesn't want him around her baby. And to think, he's not even the worst teacher in town!

Worst Teacher in Town:
Mr. Australian or British guy or whatever that Naomi accused to sexually harassing her. The final scene with him and Naomi was awful and really scary! I hope something happens or someone saves her at the last minute because it would be terrible if that creepy teacher raped her. Too dark 90210! Too dark!

Next Season:
Um, it turns out Liam's boat is fireproof, Jasper goes to jail forever, Ethan comes back and saves Naomi, Annie gets facial reconstruction surgery and comes back looking like Katie Cassidy, Navid and Adrianna go on world tour together, Teddy wins a tennis championship thanks to Silver, Dixon and Ivy have a boss time down under, Ryan's drunk driving is not discovered and he goes to rehab, the baby inside Jen temporarily gives her a soul, and she kills herself while giving birth because she doesn't want to go back to being the soulless creature she once was, and a newly clean Ryan cutely raises the baby, with lots of visits from Auntie Naomi. Oh and Harry and Deb move to China. It's gonna be awesome!

However Long I Stay: Treme, Season 1 Episode 6, "Shallow Water, Oh, Mama."

2010-05-17T12:11:00.003-04:00

Before I check back in on HBO's "Treme", I want to point anyone who is a fan of the show to the Times-Picayune and Dave Walker's great "Treme Explained". He does one for each episode, and it really helps put some of the storylines into context as well as explaining some of the throw away comments the characters make. This week, learn why Davis's mom was so horrified that he was working with Jacques Morial, who plays Antoine's mentor, some background on the real Davis, what the title of he episode means, and more. Check it out!

Unlike Dave Walker, I am not an expert on New Orleans or Katrina, but I still think that David Simon and Eric Overmyer's "Treme" gives me plenty to talk about. This episode is the beginning of the back half of the season, which is where Simon generally likes to pick up steam, plotwise. The stories they are telling us here are the small ones, not a grand tragedy like you see on "The Wire" but the way the little, everyday tragedies of life become so much worse when living among the ruins of a place that you love.

Some of the little moments I loved in this episode:

Delmond feeling overshadowed by the tradition his father loves, and yet completely unable to resist the pull of the Indians once he is among them.

Creighton, torn between his career and the fear that he could become something he hates, just another elite exploiting New Orleans.

Toni, in an amazing performance by Melissa Leo, push push pushing so insistently, so quietly, to get the information she needs to find Daymo. The thing I love most about Toni's character is that she is so dogged and persistent in her search for Daymo, because the more she uncovers, the more she sees the horror this poor guy must be going through, yet so patient and sweet with almost everyone she talks to about it. She knows that every person she is bothering about this has a thousand other tragedies to deal with, so she just gives them that little shove to make sure they help her figure out this one.

Davis with his rich, racist family, showing us what he is rebelling against and giving us a reason to root for him.

Antoine, taking care of the man that's taught him everything, and getting a scary glimpse into his own future at the same time.

Janette, trying and failing to ask her staff to work for free, realizing that even though she is amazing at what she does, she is just too far behind to do it anymore. The look on her face as she realized that her dream was done, at least for now and maybe forever, was a great piece of acting from Kim Dickens.

And of course, that silly, ridiculous only-in-New-Orleans parade, with Toni loosening up and being part of the "family of sperm" with Creighton and Sophia. Creighton and Toni's conversation sums up the series so far, with all it's little triumphs and sadnesses.
"Where else could we live, huh?"
"No place else."

90210, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

2010-05-12T19:02:00.003-04:00

You know that I love 90210, but I gotta say, there were so many things to hate in this episode! It was killing me man!

With only one episode left until the season finale (thanks CW promo people), the writers of this show decided to do as much as possible to annoy the crap out me, including:

-The name of the episode. Maybe it's just me, but I didn't find the fact that Adrianna (Jessica Lowndes) is dating some famous singer to be that important to episode, besides in the way that it thwarted my dreams of a Navid/Adrianna reunion. Other than that, who really cares about 'Javianna"?

-Not showing us any aftermath from the whole "Drunk Ryan Matthews" debacle (aka, the greatest thing that has ever happened on this show).

-Jen. (Sara Foster) Being there. (Do not even get me started on the whole pregnancy thing. My actual reaction was "JIGGA WHAT?!" There is documentation of this.)

-Silver (Jessica Stroup) listening to Teddy's (Trevor Donovan) jerkface of a dad (Ryan O'Neal) (who Teddy told her was a jerk like two scenes before) and breaking Teddy's heart because he lost his tennis match. (This is the kind of thing that happens when you demand to meet a dude's parents. Sometimes they're cagey about it for a reason ladies!) Also, the way she says 'match' really annoys me for some reason. So there's that.

-Dixon (Tristan Wilds) and Silver kissing. LET'S NOT GO THERE AGAIN PEOPLE. I did not like the face Dixon made when he and Ivy (Gillian Zinser) made up. Don't even think about it. Just go to Australia and have a good time. At least you get to be away from your awful parents!
-Jasper returned. Man that kid is a weirdo.

-The fact that even though Navid (Michael Steger) and Adrianna are basically in the same group of friends, neither of them ever talked to the SAME person about how they liked each other, so no one could just go "Oh, well he/she totally likes you too, you should just go and talk to her/him about it, like a normal person."

-Navid's crackpot plan. Plans like that should just be titled "I'm going provide the object of my affection with as little information as possible and then feel all heartbroken and crap when they don't get that I love them."
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-Deb (Lori Loughlin) and Harry (Rob Estes) were at their crazy-awful worst tonight! Lying to each other, using their children to manipulate each other, gen I have to say you can tell which one of them is leaving the show, because Harry was at least 1000 notches more horrible than Debbie, and she was terrible.

There were things I actually liked though, so don't worry!

Aww the scene with Teddy and Silver right before they did it was totally cute, and I was really happy for a minute, even though what happened next was compltely obvious and cliche, I still love them.

I am actually really into the "Naomi (AnnaLynn McCord) is an awful girlfriend" storyline, for a couple of reason. One, it is totally consistent with her character that she would want to try to be there for Liam (Matt Lanter), but just be too into her own drama to really be able to be. Also, I think it makes sense that someone like Liam would think he would want to be with someone like Naomi, and then be pretty disillusioned by the reality.

I am also still kind of rooting for Annie (Shenae Grimes) and Liam. There I said it. Again, I feel like characterization is right here, and even though Shenae Grimes' totally grating portrayal of Annie makes it easy to forget, she is supposed to be a sweet, normal, sort of goofy girl, and I can see why Liam would be attracted to her, especially since she is so different from Naomi. (If only she hadn't killed someone! Dammit Annie!)

Stray questions:

Why is Naomi styled like a 40 year old? Her hair especially!

Why does Naomi still go to the beach club even though she knows Jen owns it?

Why does everyone drive cars from the seventies?

How sad was it when Liam realized that he got his maid fired for nothing? Stupid Finn Court! (Such a stereotypical Irish name for a stereotypical Irish loser. Ten to one he has a drinking problem too.)

Where is Ryan Matthews?!

Is there really only one jerk in all of West Beverly High? The same kid: took naked pictures of Annie and let them get all over school, blackmailed Dixon into helping break into the school to steal the SAT's, intimated that he will blackmail Harry over that same incident and made of Jasper for his suicide attempt. What kind of kid taunts someone for trying to kill themselves? The one jerk at West Beverly High.

Next week: Boats on fire! That teacher really is a sleaze!! Deb is yelling!! It's crazytown!

So many things to love on 90210! (And one thing to hate with a crazy insane passion.)

2010-05-05T15:21:00.003-04:00

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Starting with... Ryan Matthews drunk! Oh it was a sight to behold. Mustard stained shirt. Chili dog hands. The sputtering. The "Taxi Driver" quoting. The way he totally horrified his students. Weirdly, I found this drunken version of Ryan Matthews way hotter than pretty much any other version. I don't know if that says something bad about me or the character, but I think you and I both know I'm going with "the character" on this one. Let's be honest, the guy ran into his ex girlfriend and her husband, which might be a perfectly fine excuse to have a drink or two, to even get a little drunk, but the level of homeless person drunkeness that this guy got to just because he talked to his ex for about thirty seconds was a little unnecessary. And also, amazing. It was beautiful. Because it was my favorite thing ever to happen, let's look at it again, real quick:

Okay so now that we are done basking in the glory that is "Ryan Matthews wasted", we can move onto the rest of the episode, which was kind of hit or miss.

More things to love include:

-Dixon and Ivy! Dixon is doing a lot of turnarounds this season, from idiot to cutie and back again, and in this episode, he was definitely rocking the cutie vibe. Mexican Cokes! The dude is a keeper. This week at least. And ivy deserves to have a nice boyfriend who goes to many different taco trucks to prepare a date for her! She's a cool chick!

-Teddy and Silver! Yeah, I'm back on that wagon, even if the "problem every 30 seconds" thing is getting a little tired. After his admission that he was in love with her, I pretty much melted. I've never seen so many people so concerned about the future of a hot, rich white guy though. Listen up everybody "HE'S GONNA BE OKAY!"

-Brace yourselves for this one, because I can't even believe it myself but...Annie and Liam? Maybe? Do I maybe kind of like them together? Maybe. It's probably mostly the Liam factor working for me here, because Annie hasn't changed enough for me to really like her on her own. She still makes an insane amount of weird faces, is a terrible listener (though not as bad as Naomi!) and annoys the crap out of me. These facts will never change. Trust.

-Naomi being a selfish idiot. I feel bad for Liam and everything, but choosing her over Ivy was always gonna end this way. She is who she is man. Also I am not going to even feel bad for her when her boyfriend falls for Annie.

-Oh Naomi screwing Jen over! That was awesome for the five seconds that is seemed like it might possibly be true!

-Adrianna and Navid on the boardwalk! It's TRUE LOVE guys, just admit it.

Things I hated, with a crazy insane passion:

-Jen's return. I hate the way she talks, I hate the weird way she purses her lips and squints her eyes when she's trying to be intimidating. I hate the how she opens her eyes all big and innocent when she is trying to seem nice. I hate her bony shoulders. I hate everything about her, and I hope that she is dropped in a vat of acid at the end this season. That is all.

Things I just sort of wasn't into:

-Adrianna and Javier singing and stuff. You know I love me some Ade, but this storyline just isn't doing it for me for some reason.

-Also, it is super dumb that Navid was all upset and stuff when he heard her tell Javier that "there was no one special" because as far as she knew, he had a girlfriend. 'Oh man, sorry Navid, for not wanting to come off as a desperate loser to some famous guy that I just met an hour ago by admitting to him that I'm still in love with my nerdy ex boyfriend who dumped me for kissing another dude and also has a girlfriend! I totally get why you are all brokenhearted and betrayed. Makes total sense.' Right on Ade! You make him jealous with that famous Jonas-brother like guy!

-Teddy/Silver/Dad- Silver was cute when she met him, and I liked that he 'surprisingly' liked her. (I was not surprised) but I am just not into the whole "forbidden to be together" thing. It just doesn't seem like a narcissistic movie star would even have time to keep his kid away from some girl on a Vespa.

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-Ugh I hate that Liam's dad turned out to be a deadbeat! I totally saw it coming and was hoping they were going to subvert my expectations. (What? Come on, it's possible that 90210 was going to subvert my expectations. It is!)

-Liam just trusts anyone who is kind of nice to him doesn't he? That just makes me feel really bad for him. Also, it kind of makes me relate to him a little. Oh dear.

-Harry and Deb. I pretty much don't care, but I have to say that if I had adopted an 8 year old from a drug addict and created a pretty decent home for him, I would not let some hot yoga instructor OR some weird work crush OR some murky undefinable distance between my spouse and I (contract negotiations, maybe), cause me to get a divorce and destroy the only stability he has ever known. Unless it turned out I really didn't like him much and wanted to just give him that final push to be screwed up for life. Which I guess they could feel about Dixon, because he can be really annoying, but I think maybe they've misplaced their antipathy towards Annie onto him. My advice for Harry and Deb? Suck it up for a couple more years, then go and bang all the yoga instructors and guidance counselors you want.

Just in case you forgot what was awesome about this episode, I leave you with one final pic:
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Next week: Adrianna + Navid is SO about to = Love again. I can feel it.

90210: Worst. SAT's. Ever.

2010-04-28T14:30:00.003-04:00

Things are pretty much not going well for anyone at West Beverly High right now, unless you count Navid, but things really only seem to be going well for him because he has no storyline whatsoever. (NOT COOL 90210!) For everyone else, there is a lot of a added stress to the whole "SAT's are coming up!" thing. There was also a lot of added dumbness in this episode. Such as:

Dixon. Oh Dixon, why did you even act kind of cool for five minutes in the last episode and make me think I could love you again? Dixon's total dumbosity was unparalleled in this ep. He lost $6000 to the guy who take that naked photo of Annie (real nice loyalty there dude, letting him play), believed some stupid story about how this idiot wanted to get into the school to 'decorate his girlfriend's locker' (yeah that sounds like it's worth six grand Dixon, sure.) stood in the middle of the damn school so that the security camera could get a real good look at his face, and then, to top it all off, TOLD THE GUY that his dad is letting them off so Dixon doesn't get in trouble. Way to ruin your Dad's career there, man. Nice job.
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Also dumb? Silver. Let's see, Teddy is the son of a movie star, looks like a model, and plays pro tennis. I think he'll be okay without college! Really no need to worry that he's not studying for the SAT's or planning to go to college, because I think he's gonna be fine. Life has a funny way of working out for rich, gorgeous people who also happen to be incredibly athletically talented. One more thing. Not returning your boyfriend's calls because his ultra famous movie star dad didn't know he had a girlfriend...kind of an overreaction there. You probably could have fought it out with him before the SAT's, so as not to make both of you insane during a test that you seem to think is pretty darn important.

Annie. I guess she's over the whole "I killed a guy" thing and is onto being angsty about her parents AND Liam. Okay sure, that seems like a way bigger deal than being guilty of MURDER.

Harry Oh man. His dumbess abounds, because he is an adult so he doesn't even have the whole "idiot teenager" excuse. I'm sure not telling Deb about how he is risking his career to protect Dixon is really going to make that marriage even stronger.

Deb. Seriously lady, don't tell your husband you kissed a crazy-hot guy and liked it unless you just want to get a divorce.

One more, and you know I hate this but it's true. Liam. I have so many questions for him, including, 1. Why are you hanging out with Annie? 2. Why do you suddenly like Annie? 3. If you suddenly like Annie and can never love Naomi again, why did you fake that did an get back together with her? Also, why can't you forgive her again? 4. Do you not think stealing from your stupid step-dad is a terrible plan? He seems to be evil to the core, so I am sure he will have you boiled in oil or something when he finds out. 5. Really? You're not even a little suspicious about the whole "Dad was framed, just need a little seed money" thing? I mean I want your dad to be a good guy too but, come on! Oh Liam.
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So basically, the only character who both had a storyline and didn't act foolishly tonight was Naomi. The poor girl admitted that she lied about that Australian teacher AND called herself a pervert (of justice) in front of the whole school. It was great. She promised to never lie again and reunited with Liam, and things were just going swimmingly! She was even getting everyone smoothies! But then something truly truly awful happened. JEN RETURNED. NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Next week: Spoiler Alert! I saw some awesome photos of Ryan Matthews, on the beach, looking bedraggled, covered in mustard, and possibly eating out of the trash! YES!!! You will be seeing those on this blog next week. Also, Silver meets Teddy's Dad, Ryan O'Neal. Like most dads on this show, he seems like a jerk.

Back with the streets I know; will never take me anywhere but here. Treme: Season 1, Episode 2: "Meet de Boys on the Battlefront."

2010-04-20T15:09:00.009-04:00

This second episode seemed to be an episode about dreams thwarted, or at least tainted. We have Davis losing his job (a job which almost seemed to define him in the first episode, gone just a few minutes into the second), Janette having to beg her parents for a loan and still not getting enough to keep her restaurant or her ruined house together, Delmond having a great time in the city he abandoned only to get arrested for smoking weed, Sofie getting to come back to school in New Orleans at the expense of poorer kids, Albert getting a member of his tribe back but not before committing a shocking act of violence and most poignantly, LaDonna believing that her brother has been found, only to come face to face with the wrong David Brooks.

LaDonna's plight is one of the toughest to watch, because in her we see a strong woman trying so hard to hold so much together. The well being of her mother, her brother, her bar, her marriage and her kids are all on her shoulders, and in Khandi Alexander's performance you can see a woman who is bending but not about to break. In the scene where her husband suggests that she sell the bar and move to Baton Rouge it takes just a few facial expressions for the audience to see that this will not end well. She is not willing to give up her past or her home, no matter that right now her city is in ruins. Like many of our main characters, she is left, but not leaving.

We meet some new characters this week (Simon and Overmeyer LOVE their sprawling casts) in Sonny and Annie, street musician and possible con artists who seem to be getting a little sick of tourists and well wishers in their town. We also see some new sides to the characters we met last week, including a sweetness previously undetected in Davis (he really seemed to want to send those kids somewhere where they would have a good time!) and an intense anger and brutality in Albert. Dave Walker of NOLA.com is doing some very interesting annotations of each episode, and I really liked his explanation of Albert's actions. He mentions that depression and a kind of temporary insanity were rampant in the city after Katrina, and people often did things that they would not have done in normal circumstances. Something about reading his ideas on Albert's brutal beating of the thief made me feel a little better about it, and not so bad about how much I enjoyed his final scene, practicing with his lone tribe member. I am definitely a huge fan of Clark Peters, and I want Albert to be a man I can root for, despite this act of violence. I am sure it will not go entirely unpunished though. If I learned anything from The Wire it's that Simon and co. rarely let a bad or a good deed go unpunished.

This was a darker episode, but I must mention how much I am enjoying Wendall Pierce as Antoine. He's got this whole charming rogue thing down pat. Is it any surprise that a man who can flirt like that with his trombone has more than a few illegitimate children running around town? His odyssey to Bourbon Street and beyond for a paying gig added a nice touch of levity to the episode (loved his conversation with those Wisconsin kids!) as well as giving it that nice kick of music that is becoming this show's trademark.

But where is it all going? I am not sure yet, but I think I can see the hints of larger storylines on the horizon. We have Toni and Ladonna on a search for Daymo, about to embark on a mission through some kind of bureaucratic hell that may not have any kind of happy ending for them. Many of the characters, Janette, Davis, Antoine, Albert, and seemingly Sonny and Annie are just trying to find a way to get through the day and keep their lives, which are all in differing states of disrepair, together. Creighton is trying to tell his story, his city's story, without exploiting the less privileged people around him (which of course he can't.) At this point I'm not sure if there will be an overarching plot of any sort, or if this is just a story about rebuilding homes and lives and all the pain and messiness and beauty that comes with that. Either way, I am looking forward to what's coming next.

90210 Made me happy!

2010-04-14T15:16:00.001-04:00

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Oh man, I was so into this episode of 90210! Many things made me very, very happy.

Starting with...Scott Patterson, (Luke from Gilmore Girls!) as Liam's (Matt Lanter) Dad! Unlike his Mom, he is actually old enough to be his parent, and I loved him on Gilmore Girls, and he and Liam hugged and everything, so that makes me think he is going to be cool, despite the whole "just got out of jail" thing. I am so excited about this development! Yay Scott Patterson!

Other awesomeness? Dixon (Tristan Wilds) has finally gotten off the "Great Big Jerk Train" and gotten back to being totally adorkable! If Ivy (Gillian Zinser) wasn't totally smitten by his nerdy little dance to Bob Marley at that party, she has a heart of stone. Also, when he was teaching her how to DJ, that was pretty hot.

By the way, I kind of like how they are slowplaying Dixon's gambling problem storyline. I mean it's a dumb storyline, but at least they are just mentioning it once in a while and letting it gain momentum before everyone ends up staging an intervention or something.

Somehow, I was simultaneously charmed by how cute Navid (Michael Steger) was with Lila AND how they seem to be paving the way for Navid and Adrianna (Jessica Lowndes) to get back together. Michael Steger really does a great job portraying Navid's inherent sweetness without going over the top. I really do believe him as a genuinely nice guy, with just the right amount of geekiness, but not so much that you can't understand why these girls are into him. And since I wanted them to get married, I obviously want him back with Ade! Sorry Lila.

I am liking Ivy's mom a little bit more this episode, especially since she gave Adrianna such good advice at the party. And everyone loves a pothead!

I was also really excited that Naomi (AnnaLynn McCord) recanted before she ruined that poor teacher's life, though I was really confused how everyone found out so quickly. Did Liam have a glass on the door or something? And how did Ivy find out? I thought the show did a good job making Naomi sympathetic even though she had done something pretty awful. I will say this though, having Annie draw parallels to her own secret from Naomi's made me realize that they did not do a good job making Annie sympathetic. Maybe it's just the face. Though, Naomi was nostril flaring it UP last night. It's like these kids took acting lessons from Joey Tribiani or something!

I do think they are trying to make up for Annie's horrible "Jasper will never tell!" smile last week by showing that she is still feeling guilty and have stress dreams and the like. Still, she's pretty awful.

There were a few things that left me befuddled last night though, and one of them being Annie and Silver's "dress up like whores" outing to test drive the Mustang. That was the dumbest, most convoluted way ever to get Annie to have some kind of PTSD attack about hitting the bum. Since she was driving from Naomi's house home when she hit him, aren't there about a hundred easier ways to get her driving down that road again? And why would either of them think they are lost? Dumb.
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Another was good ol' Ryan "Wake and Bake" Matthews. I feel like they don't know what to do with him, so they always have him sleeping with older women and flirting with substance abuse problems. I mean we never even got to see how his drinking problem was going, and now he's going to become a pothead?!! Or not, maybe just have a fun and functional relationship with Ivy's mom? I really cannot tell where this storyline is going. I like the character, so hopefully they will figure him out at some point. What about he and Liam being all buddy-buddy? Let's bring that back!

And even though I want her and Navid to get back together, I can't believe Gia cheated on Ade! I feel like their relationship was portrayed as really functional and mature, and Gia as totally into Ade as well as smart and funny and then BAM! One fight and she's hooking up with her ex! Gia, you used to be cool.

Next week: Teddy and Silver have a fight (sad face.), Liam and Naomi make up (fakely or something), and Liam and Annie have a moment (ewwww!). God poor Liam really has a thing for liars.

You're the shit, and I'm knee-deep in it. Treme, Season One, Episode One, "Do You Know What It Means"

2010-04-13T15:07:00.007-04:00

Like his critically acclaimed “The Wire” (The best show that ever existed. Watch it!), David Simon’s “Treme” is not interested in holding your hand. The first episode had no “here are the characters, this is the plot” presentation, it plunks you down in the middle of these lives and asks you to make some deductions and figure things out. That’s right. It’s TV that asks something of you, of your brain and of your heart. Because the place it puts you is New Orleans, 3 months after Katrina. In scene after scene the questions “How’s your house?” and “How much water you get?” are asked and answered, with only a hint of the destruction of houses and people that went on. But even if life goes on for some, and the questions are casual, “Treme” shows us the pain and devastation of a city that was almost destroyed. When Albert Lamoreaux (Clark Peters) sees his house for the first time since fleeing the storm, it’s not just the water damage or the mud floor that grabs you, it’s the way you can look at his face and see that he is absolutely gutted. And then, in moments, his jaw is set in steely resolve, and it is clear, he’s not leaving.

Why? There are a lot of questions that we don’t get an exact answer to yet in this episode. We know that Albert is staying for practice, and that he is some kind of ‘chief’, but without doing the extra research on Mardi Gras Indians the exact ‘why’ still remains a bit of a mystery. Other questions? What does John Goodman’s character do exactly? Why does Davis (Steve Zahn) hate his neighbors? How are all these people intertwined?

Simon uses quick beats to define his large cast of characters. You see all of Antoine Baptist’s (Wendall Pierce) charm and hard luck the very first time he tries to hustle a cab driver out of a fare. He lives out of the city now, but he needs to get back in to play music, to make money, to see people. He is a man battling to get back to his old life, even if his old life means no more than not having to take a cab into town to scramble for gigs.

And it takes only three scenes, two of anger and one of love, to show the viewer that Creighton (John Goodman) and Toni (Melissa Leo) are pretty perfectly matched. A couple passionately devoted to the city and its people, and determined to use the little power they have through influence and money to affect some positive change. We also see that even in their privileged position, roadblocks are constantly thrown in their way.

We are given a few intriguing narrative threads to look forward to. One is LaDonna (Khandi Alexander) and Toni’s search for LaDonna’s brother Daymo, who has been missing since the storm. By episode’s end, we know that Daymo was in jail when the storm hit, and was moved by the sheriff’s department. We have a maybe love story between Davis and Jeanette (Kim Hickerson), the owner of a local restaurant. Another is Albert’s quest to get his tribe ready for Carnival, as well as an already intriguing father-son dynamic between him and his son. Clark Peters as Lester Freamon is one of my favorite characters on “The Wire”, so I for one am really looking forward to this story. With a cast this stellar, there is a lot to look forward to this season.

Though “Treme” is in some ways a story of Katrina, it is also a story of after. Of how people find joy and music and beauty in the bleakest of places. Of how home is still home, even if it’s nothing but the dirty remnant of the life you once had. It’s a story of rebuilding a place, and the rebuilding of people.

Melrose Place "Some Street in L.A." (Sepulveda actually)

2010-04-08T13:52:00.003-04:00

So, I felt slightly less rage at this episode than the promo led me to believe I would, but there were still plenty of thing to make me feel ragey, such as:

-Jonah(Michael Rady). Pretty much everything Jonah did in this episode made me want to slap him. Slappable offenses include: acting like he has some great moral compass, bidding on stupid Riley (Jessica Lucas) at her stupid fundraiser, trying to shame Ella(Katie Cassidy) into acting how he wanted her to, not appreciating his great girlfriend, getting all warm and fuzzy about stupid Riley at the casting of his stupid movie, demanding that the studio sell him his movie back after he has one disagreement with the director (characterized as a "big fight" by both parties even though it was about two seconds long and as heated as Riley and bearded Billy Campbell making out) and then of course, having his dream come true and wanting to tell Riley instead of Ella, and then making an annoying puppy dog face at Riley and Drew (Nick Zano). Haaate. I am starting to dislike Jonah more than Riley to the point that I now want her and Drew to be happy so that she can rub it in his face. See what you've done to me Jonah?!! Now I hate you more than Riley!! (My hate for you is contingent on your actions, so you can still fix this. I will always hate Riley, no matter what.)

-Riley's totally bizarre fundraiser outfit. She looked insane.

-Why does everyone act like Riley is the prettiest girl in the world?!! Why?!

-I am mad that Ella didn't take Riley out on a date. That, I would like to see.

-Where did Riley get the money to throw that fundraiser in the first place?!

-I don't want to see any more of Drew's band. And obviously, neither did anyone else at that party.

-I can't believe they had that nerdy guy dump Ella. (In the Valley!) Isn't our girl going through enough here?!

-I hate that Ella didn't slap Jonah and make my dreams come true, but instead just acted incredibly cool and mature and then admitted to David (Shaun Sipos) that she was really into Jonah. And that she can't ever sleep with David again without being a jerk because Lauren(Stephanie Jacobsen) is in love with him.

There were some things I liked too though!

-First and most importantly of all, there were NO OLDTIMERS. I never thought I would say this, but I pretty much hate all of the original Melrose Placers and would be quite happy to never see them again. (Bummer for me.)

-David and Ella team up! They are hotness!

-Lauren gets through to David! Of course he understands what it's like to have to be constantly proving yourself worthy of your father's love. BOOM goes the dynamite Lauren, you're golden.

-David's restaurant gets a great review, with a little help from Ella and Lauren. I really do like that they are actually showing us that these people are friends instead of just telling us the way they were in the first half of the season. I also like both Riley and Ella's conversation with Lauren about her whoring ways.

-Drew isn't a psycho, he believes that Micheal's valve is killing people! Awesome! Take him down Drew!

Next week:
Ugh, Amanda's back. You are not revitalizing Melrose Place this time around, Heather Locklear, sorry to say. And if Riley doesn't shoot down Jonah, Ima gonna kill someone.

90210-"Sweaty Palms and Weak Knees"

2010-04-08T10:10:00.007-04:00

What did I love (or get sweaty palmed over?) about 90210 this week, you might ask? Well let me see:

-The awesome "arty" picture of Annie in front of the Hollywood Sign that Jasper had in his room. It's totally normal to have a picture of your girlfriend making the ugly cry face in a frame!

-Speaking of ugly faces, Jasper sure made a lot of them during his suicide attempt!

-The fact that I was actually kind of interested in the Anne/Jasper plot for once! (Suicide always jazzes things up!)

-I loved that Jasper's obviously totally rich Dad told Annie that Jasper was really affected by his uncle's death. "We are fabulously wealthy, but we pretty much decided to just let him become a drunken homeless person while simultaneously letting our weirdo teenage kid hang out with him. How did this plan go wrong?!!" It is always such a shock when the drunk bum brother goes before the ridiculously affluent one.

-Gia and Adrianna! Still cute!

-Teddy and Silver! DREAMY.

-The fact that the only restaurant/club that anyone who goes to West Bev put up an incredibly huge and expensive looking set so that The Gloria Steinems could play one song, for their first ever show. They are going to be so disappointed when they start playing dirty rock clubs.

-That The Gloria Steinems have their own van. (I know the guitarist is supposed to be daughter of a famous musician but still...)

-That when Ivy's mom says she "knows" a guy, it means she's slept with him.

- I think Dixon got a haircut! Or something. He looks better to me for some reason.

-Dixon and Ivy's fake relationship! He got her a good present and everything! He's a way better fake boyfriend to her than he was a real boyfriend to Silver. Hmm does that tell you something Dixon?

What did I hate about it?

-No Navid. We saw more of his girlfriend than him! They better not be marginalizing him!

-Everything else about Ivy's mom. It was just a little too cliche, the whole "child is the parent, mom is sleeping with the teacher, don't call me mom in public" thing. Oh AND she's a record executive. AND she only wants to sign Ade, not the whole band. Wow, how original.

-It could not be more obvious that Annie didn't really kill Jasper's uncle. Because if she did, she would be the worst person in the world and totally unrootable. She's already awful enough, because she thinks she killed someone and is keeping quiet about it.

Things I am just not sure how I feel about:

-No Deb & Hot Yoga Guy (a.k.a. Lucky #3) - I am a little sad about the demise of the parents, I think, but I was super excited to remember over the weekend that Hot Yoga Guy is played by Greg Vaughn, who in addition to playing Lucky # 3 on GH, also played Cliff, Donna's firefighter goody too-shoos boyfriend on Beverly Hills, 90210!

-Naomi and Liam. I kind of like that Naomi is stirring up trouble, cause let's be honest, that's what she's there for, but I also like her and Liam together and hate to see her screw it up like this! He better run into the arms of Ivy when he finds Naomi is lying about the whole "Australian teacher sexually harassed me" thing. Also, I love that after assaulting a teacher the first thing that Harry does is ask Liam if has a good reason. Like, if he has a good reason it's okay to attack someone?

Next week:
I missed the previews because I was in the bathroom! Damnit!

Melrose Place "Santa Fe" or Life is Unfair

2010-03-31T18:15:00.001-04:00

So why is life unfair you may ask? Because we live in a world where it is completely plausible that a man like Jonah (Michael Rady) ( (reasonably attractive, currently successful but usually broke, whiny) can have his choice of TWO women, and a woman like Ella (Katie Cassidy) (totally hot, driven, successful) is nothing more than a rebound for a confused idiot. Seeing Jonah and Drew (Nick Zano) fight over Riley (Jessica Lucas) made my blood boil! That coupled with the fact that Ella was totally cool about it and in next week's preview Jonah is trying to get Riley back make me HATE JONAH. Moron. So that is what I have to say about that!

Other thoughts:

-Everyone over 40 on this show is an unrepentant sociopath. I mean I don't even understand how I am supposed to enjoy the reunion between Jo (Daphne Zuniga), Jane (Josie Bissett), Michael (Thomas Calabro) and Amanda (Heather Locklear) when not one of these people have even one redeeming quality?! They are all just desperate losers trying to destroy the next generation for the flimsiest of reasons possible. They are awful, and I hate them. Especially Amanda and Jane, because they are destroying Ella's career, and she worked SO HARD. Also, Michael, because he was pretty much going to rape Lauren (Stephanie Jacobsen) by blackmailing her into sex.
-Speaking of Lauren...OMG! I love that she just admitted to being prostitute like that! I wish she had done that before breaking up with David (Shaun Sipos) and driving him back to thievery which kicked off the stupid "blonde girl blackmailing David into sex" (very popular on this show) storyline which is boring and lame. I really liked the scene where David and Lauren talked about their feelings, because he was justifiably hurt and angry, and she was open and vulnerable. He's love starved, so he won't be able to resist the "I love you" from her for long.
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-Two good burns tonight- Drew to Jonah- So desperate you throw a party like this just to show everyone how AWESOME you are!" And Ella about Jo "Did somebody complain that this party wasn't bossy and overbearing enough?!"

-Of course Riley makes Lauren being a whore all about her. "Remember, I know what it's like to have the rug pulled out from under your whole life..." Because being forced to become a hooker so you don't have to give up on your dream of being a doctor is JUST LIKE breaking up with your boyfriend of five years. Exactly the same,

-What was Drew doing with that body at the end there? I thought he was the normal one! Non-broody and everything!

Next week:
Jonah tries to get back together with Riley and disses Ella. Jonah, you are officially moving to the hate list. Jerk.

90210-"Clark Raving Mad" or I missed the beginning, fill me in!

2010-03-31T18:13:00.002-04:00

Yes, it is tragic. Because Charter Communications cannot make a functioning DVR, 90210 didn't record last night, even though I have it set to record ALL EPISODES. So when I got home at 8:40, I decided I at least had to catch the last 20 minutes! So here's what I saw! Anyone want to fill in the blanks for me?

-Adrianna (Jessica Lowndes) and Gia (Rumer Willis) had an interesting conversation about human sexuality, the Kinsey Scale, and then made out. I am definitely starting to like these two! They were pretty cute together.

-Things seem to be going well with Adrianna and the band and Navid (Michael Steger) and his new lady, because there was a sweet band scene at the end there.

-Teddy (Trevor Donovan) and Silver (Jessica Stroup) got back together! Yay! After they kissed he picked her up and swung her around all cutely and it reminded me how incredibly tiny she is.

-Dixon's mom left, and before she went, decided to remind Dixon that gambling is awesome, to help him out with that burgeoning gambling problem he's working on.

-Also, Dixon's mom totally BUSTED Debbie kissing her yoga instructor (Go Lucky # 3) and told her not to sacrifice her marriage with her idiot goofball husband for a totally hot, intelligent and understanding man. Um, great advice Dana. (I don't like to be pro-adultery, but Harry's had all the sensitivity and suavness of Homer Simpson this season! Come on man!)

-Apparently someone told Naomi she could have something if she slept with him. Liam wants her to tell on the guy, and not act like "a doormat like our mothers are." Whoa, way harsh dude.

-Jasper threatened to kill himself! Do you think he'll do it?! How much blood will Annie have on her hands by the time this school year is out!

Melrose Place- I finally discovered the mystery behind the episode names! This is worth reading just for that!

2010-03-24T17:10:00.002-04:00

Two things before we begin:

1. I finally figured it out! I am going to stop obsessing about the episode names from now on! I guess Melrose Place names all the episodes after streets in L.A. or something? Is that supposed to be clever? It seems to me the writers just don't have even the tiniest bit of creativity left in them after writing the episode, so they just name it after somewhere they drove by earlier.

2. CWTV.com has the worst selection of pictures for this show. It is basically always just the same two scenes from 10 different angles. This week? Pool basketball and Amanda vs. Riley confrontation. Hopefully you don't have a powerful need to see more angles of either of those scenes, because you're just getting one of each.

So onto the show! What even happened?! Well let's see...

Amanda/Riley/Bearded Billy Campbell- I think we're supposed to...like Riley(Jessica Lucas)? Maybe? With her whole "I'll get the funding for my schools, even if I have to raise every last cent myself!", I think we are supposed to find her admirable and like-able. I don't, so it doesn't really matter what they want. This storyline was a dud for me, for a few reasons.
1. Riley.
2. It went nowhere
3. Bearded Billy Campbell and Riley have absolutely no sexual chemistry, and I do not buy that he would break up with Amanda for her. I mean, Riley and I would have more chemistry together, and I hate her!
The only good thing about this for me is that maybe Amanda will do a lot of awful things to Riley in the future because of her boyfriend stealing. Fingers crossed!

David/Lauren- Sigh. Stupid Lauren really did break up with David and not give him a reason. I really wanted to believe she would find a way out that didn't involve breaking David's heart and driving him back to thievery. The bright side is, maybe now that he has slept with that girl so that she won't tell her mobster (or something) father that David stole from him, when they get back together, David will totally understand her whorish ways!

Drew (Nick Zano)- He is called Drew! Score one for me against CWTV.com! He was also much less annoying this time around, and I will admit, it is nice to have someone who doesn't take everything SO SERIOUSLY around. He is far less broody than the rest of them.

Ella/Jonah- I actually really liked this story line! It totally makes sense that Ella and Jonah would have a few bumps in the road towards "couplehood", and it was nice to see a few layers in both characters. We see that Ella has a reason for those rough edges (child of divorce, tough upbringing) and that Jonah had a tendency to be a bit suffocating to those he loves. And of course, I was happy to seem them work it out for now, because I love Ella almost as much as I hate Riley, and the fact that this makes Ella happy while making Riley miserable is pretty perfect.

Next week:
Drew and Jonah BETTER NOT be fighting over Riley. Seriously. Also: Lots of old-timey Melrosers in one place! Melrose Place!

90210- "What's Past is Prologue" A pretty good title for a pretty good episode!

2010-03-24T14:38:00.002-04:00

So there were some things missing from this episode of 90210, but I think that the fact that I still really enjoyed this episode despite there being no drunk Ryan Matthews, very little Liam, Silver and Teddy having problems and Deb NOT going psycho means that it was a pretty strong showing!

We had:

-Gia (Rumer Willis) making me kind of like and care about her! I mean she's a super spy, she seemed really happy that Teddy wasn't going to cheat on Silver even though we have zero evidence that she is even friends with Silver, and let's be honest, we're all sick of hearing Adrianna whining about Navid! So go Gia! I totally wanted her to kiss Ade in the bathroom instead of just admitting she likes her, but whatevs, she's still cool.

-Adrianna (Jessica Lowndes) trying out to be the singer in a band. (What kind of band? I don't know what kind of high school band is looking for Adrianna's show tunes voice, but Gia seems to think they're cool, so I'll go with it. Another question... Why would Lila (Amber Wallace) schedule a date on the very night she was supposed to be auditioning singers for her band? I mean we all know bass players don't matter, but come on, show some commitment here, Lila!) And then finding out that a member of the band is the very same girl she just saw Navid making out with and then talked about very loudly from about 2 feet away!

-Naomi's (AnnaLynn McCord) gossip report for The Blaze. Classic.

-Annie (Shenae Grimes) getting stalked by Jasper (Zachary Ray Leonard)! AND he stole her car to hide the evidence of her homicidal driving! I love that she actually said to Silver at one point "We all make mistakes sometimes, and we need to just, move on." Look, sometimes you murder someone with your car and leave them for dead, and then you just need to MOVE ON. Obviously Annie.

-Deb (Lori Loughlin) was so cute being all threatened by Dixon's (Tristan Wilds) birth mom! Also, her yoga instructor was SO CUTE being there for her and telling her that her feelings were valid and all that. Yay Lucky # 3 from General Hospital! Deb was TOTALLY rocking some crazy Annie faces in this episode! Now we know that crazyface is a genetic condition!

-Harry (Rob Estes) is truly the densest man alive. They are writing him as such a clueless goofball this season!

-I love that one offhand mention of gambling from his formerly crazy birth mom is enough to begin a gambling problem for Dixon (You KNOW that is where this is going!). Looks like Deb and Harry didn't spend enough on counseling for him.

-Silver (Jessica Stroup) and Teddy (Trevor Donovan) having some relationship growing pains! (He's gonna forgive her for spying on him! He has to! He must!) I mean everyone meets up with a sex buddy just for coffee when "trying" monogamy! And everyone sends random lesbian friends to spy on boyfriends who used to be big man-sluts! This is all totally normal and they are going to go back to being all cute and awesome and stuff sometime soon.

-Navid (Michael Steger) went on a date with a cute girl! It was pretty sweet, even if he did take her the same place that Liam and Naomi had their horrible awkward date. That may be the only place West Beverly High kids go on dates now that "The New Peach Pit" is defunct. I still want him to just forgive Adrianna, but until then, these two are cool with me.

Next week:
Ugh I have to tell you that I really hated the preview for next week's show. "Like, omigod, two girls kissing! How SCANDALOUS!!" This is a show where high school kids have: no parents, drug addictions, and relationships entirely based upon sex, not to mention the possibility that one of them has KILLED someone, so let's not act like lesbian characters are some big controversy all of a sudden. I mean Gia has an ex-girlfriend that was mentioned casually and Gia and Adrianna have already had a pretty steamy kiss, so I don't really see the need to act all ridiculous about the episode where they actually get together, CW promo team. Grow up!

Melrose Place- it giveth, it taketh away.

2010-03-17T19:03:00.002-04:00

So I think this week's Melrose Place episode, "Stoner Canyon" (Do not ask me, I do not have any idea where the names of these episodes originate. And yes, I am TRYING to stop obsessing about it, but it's hard, okay?!) can be easily divided into two categories. Things I loved, and things I hated. (It's a simple show people.)

Things I loved:

Ella (Katie Cassidy) and Jonah (Michael Rady)! Together! All vulnerable and stuff! (But if you break her heart, Jonah Miller, I swear, I WILL become a fictional character and get you!)

Jonah changing the ending of his movie (which, I have to say, sounds worse and worse the more I hear it described.) to reflect the fact that it turns out Riley (Jessica Lucas) SUCKS.

David (Shaun Sipos) explaining to Michael (Thomas Calabro) like 10 times that when he slept with Vanessa (Scary Brooke Burns), it was before Michael and she knew each other. "Before you even met." "You didn't even know each other." "You hadn't even met her." Let me reiterate Dad, YOU DID NOT KNOW EACH OTHER.

Michael actually being a doctor instead of a psycho.

Amanda (Heather Locklear) Googling "pain in chest and shortness of breath" after being told she had just lost 15 million dollars and then acting like Michael was crazy when he suggested she was having panic attacks. She is so much dumber than I thought.

Also, Amanda being really insecure about bearded Billy Campbell and other women. The dragon lady is fallible!

They all still seem like actual friends instead of strangers who live in the same building like they did before the break.

Things I hated:

Michael blackmailing Lauren to break David's heart. For one this is crazy, and for two, I think someone as smart as Lauren could figure a way to get out of it. Like say, telling David Michael is threatening her and that she wants to pretend to break up so that he will back off and stop being a psycho boss. Then she can keep her whorish ways a secret and NOT break David's heart. She is dumb if she goes through with this. Like, 'Googling "chest pain and shortness of breath" after being told she lost 15 million dollars' dumb.

Ugh Nick Zano's entire character, whose every move I predicted throughout the entire show. He does look better thinner and less muscley though, so I'll give you that, Zano. (I thought he was named Drew from the show, but CW website is calling him Nick. I am just going to wait and see who's right.)

The fact that Nick (or Drew) is all into Lauren and these two are probably going to hook up. Poor David.

Riley.

The fact that bearded Billy Campbell was nice to Riley and funded her project.

The fact that everyone acts like Riley is so pretty when Ella is clearly just as pretty or prettier than her.

That Jonah at some point in his life thought Riley was really funny.

Here's hoping:

Nick (or Drew) and Riley get together and pull a Violet and Auggie and ride off into the sunset forever.

Next week:

Riley kisses bearded Billy Campbell! I guess Amanda was totally right to be insecure about him! I cannot wait until she brings down her righteous life-ruining fire down on Riley!

90210- It's back! And better than...last week!

2010-03-17T18:17:00.001-04:00

I think 90210 returned to fine form last night, recovering from last week's episode quite nicely. And since everyone loves lists, let's just do an homage to Clint Eastwood and make it "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly."

The Good:

By being all fiesty, cute and funny (and, of course, Girl Fighting), Naomi (Annalynn McCord) won me AND Liam (Matt Lanter) over to the Liam + Naomi = LOVE side. Sorry Ivy! Besides, since when is mind-blowing sex not a good basis for a relationship?

Dixon (Tristan Wilds) got totally busted trying to keep Teddy (Trevor Donovan) and Silver (Jessica Stroup) apart, and got punched in gut for his evil machinations! Also, people kept mentioning his birth mother ignoring him.

Silver totally BURNED Dixon when he was trying to get back with her! "I really really value your friendship." Ouch.

Adrianna (Jessica Lowndes) has pretty hair. (Thanks for NOT providing a picture of that cwtv.com!)

Annie (Shenae Grimes) actually did something smart and figured out a way to get rid of Jasper (Zachary Ray Sherman) with a minimum of weird face making. Even I didn't like seeing her suffer that much.

Annie wrote a confession that was autosaved on her computer! I can't wait to see her suffer for killing that homeless dude! She made a lot of weird faces while trying to email her parents her murder confession. Ah, the more things change, the more they stay the same.

After some typical Silver style waffling, SILVER AND TEDDY KISSED! Sweet! Maybe I should start a fan site for this fictional couple I am unnaturally preoccupied with! Oh wait, someone else already did that, so, I'm out of luck.
http://www.fanpop.com/spots/silver-and-teddy
Also, I guess I don't need to post that Teddy and Silver montage video i made scored to "My Heart Will Go On". "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" was a WAY better song choice.

So the whole Teddy and Silver thing is going well, and for me, that is GOOD. This was my actual note at the end of the episode concerning this: "MAKE OUT!!!!! YES!!!!!!! Tilver! Seddy! Fave couple ever!"
Adrianna and Navid (Michael Steger), you have been replaced in my heart.

The Bad:

No Navid.

Ugh Annie's back in the clique again. I kind of liked it when she had her own separate story line that I could zone out during.

Adrianna and Rumer Willis are just not doing it for me.

I really just want this Annie killing a bum storyline to wrap up, so can she just turn herself in and find out that she didn't really kill a dude after all. And then everyone can judge her for thinking that she killed someone and not coming forward about it.

Kelly Lynch as Ivy's Mom. How about we write for the adults we already have?

Ivy saying "Nai's got sammies!" Oh god, no.

Jasper isn't so much menacing as he is whiny. "Come onnn! We ALWAYS used to hang at my house!"

The Ugly:

The crazy Mama bear glint in Deb's eye when Dixon's birth Mom showed up.

Ryan Matthews' downward spiral! Though it did give us this awesome line re: Jen from Naomi... "Oh I didn't realize that would bother you. I mean it's obvious that she's a total sociopath."

Things I can't wait for:

Someone to read Annie's confession.

Deb to go all insane on Dixon's birth-mom.

Silver and Teddy equaling love.

Melrose Place- "Oriole" No, I don't know why it is called that.

2010-03-10T14:24:00.006-05:00

Melrose Place is back! With another completely inexplicable episode title! Apparently, even though it has been three months since the last episode, it has only been about 8 hours in Melrose world since then. No one besides David seems to know or care that Lauren almost died, and people are even less concerned about the death/attempted murder that happened in their pool just the night before! Riley mentions in passing to Violet that she's "sorry about what she went through last night" (She just killed, in self defense, the woman who murdered her mother. So not a big deal! I mean Riley had a break up last night, so it was big of her to even mention it really.) What are people concerned about? Why romantic relationships, of course!

Now some might say that I have irrational hatred for Riley and a strange, Harper's Island inspired love for Ella, but I cannot even for five seconds understand why Jonah would even consider going back to Riley. At this point, Riley is bordering on delusional crazy-person behavior here if she thinks she can tell her fiancee that she doesn't want to marry him and just wants to continue dating him with the freedom to dump him on his ass whenever the feeling strikes her, and when he says no way to that proposal, she continues to attempt to sleep with him and act like they are together and everything is fine. How is Ella the bad guy here?! She's not, so SHUT UP RILEY and David. Riley you are officially the most terrible person on this show, a show which contains murderers, whores and thieves.

So in conclusion, Jonah better get his act together and give Ella all the love and cherishing she deserves.

On the Lauren and David front, he beat the crap out someone for her, and even though I am usually against violence, I am all for it, because the dude drugged her and left her to die! I love how at one point she actually tries to describe this man as "just a big jerk". Um, he didn't steal your LEGOs or something Lauren, he almost killed you.

David and Lauren are still adorable, and he still doesn't know she's a hooker. I am sure he's not going to take it well.

Violet and Auggie decided to run away together because Melrose Place is causing all of their problems. He totally loves Riley but Violet is so weirdly obsessed with him that she is okay with being with him even though he is not really interested in her. This is what low self-esteem gets you ladies. So these two are off the show. Later!

Amanda is dating a bearded Billy Campbell, who is a computer billionaire or something. He is not good at reading the ladies though, because he totally made it seem like he was going to propose to her, and instead her gave her a Bentley. Note to all the men out there in TV land, even if you are giving your lady a freakin' Bentley, and even if your lady is an older, powerful, already-been-married woman who one would think would not really be obsessed with getting engaged, she will be pissed if you make it seem like you are giving her a diamond and then you don't. Because for TV ladies, being married is pinnacle of life. Duh, bearded Billy Campbell, duh.

Also, bearded Billy Campbell and Ella had a weird moment where maybe it seemed like he was hitting on her or something, and Amanda saw, and was pretty much unnecessarily awful to Ella, because obviously it was her fault that Amanda's boyfriend hit on her. Chicks, man. So Amanda will probs be plotting against her and stuff now.

Next week: Love triangle! Michael! Kimber from Nip/Tuck!
What I want to know is, will the whole "Micheal's kid is really David's kid" reveal ever be revisited? Or are we just forgetting about that?

90210 Returns! Finally!

2010-03-09T23:44:00.006-05:00

After the longest winter break in history, 90210 is finally back! Did this episode live up to the stellar "Winter Wonderland" half season finale thing in December?! No, not really at all. Parts of it were kind of annoying, parts of it were enraging, and parts of it were just kinda boring. Some things were still awesome though, I admit. Such as:

-Naomi and Ivy's totally awkward interaction, complete with the line "I found if you spoke loudly and slowly enough you could get through to them that you did not want their island junk."

-Liam was there, being hot and stuff.

-Naomi remembering that her entire relationship with Liam pre-him doing her sister pretty much consisted of sex and smirking, causing her to then show up at his boat- building place naked.

-Lucky # 3 from General Hospital played Deb and Kelly's hot yoga teacher! This is the only thing even remotely good about the parent's story line tonight.

-Oh no wait, the part where Deb made fun of Annie's, "snarky derisive laugh" was pretty great too. Wow, Annie is so awful, even her own parents know it.

-Ivy and Liam are still BFF! They WILL be together, I can feel it!

-Adrianna and Rumer Willis? Kinda cute together!

-Like Naomi, I want to "forget about Jen and everything she's ever done forever." Sounds about right.

Onto annoying:

-Why is Rob Estes suddenly mugging like one of the Three Stooges in every scene he's in? Tone it down man! It's like he's been taking "weird face-making" classes from Shanae Grimes!

-I think they made Jennie Garth wear a really unflattering dress in that stupid party scene just so she wouldn't seem like a threat to Deb and Harry's marriage or Deb and the yoga dude's flirtation.

-Navid and Dixon's terrible terrible hijinks. Life tip: when you are in the midst of a secret plan to destroy someone, walking by him and smiling triumphantly before anything has even happened is a really good way to tip him off.

-Does Adrianna have to be totally awkward with her friends to become friends with Gia? Couldn't they have just met and hit it off when she was not all vulnerable and weird?

-Does Gia have to wear that weird fedora thing? We get that she's a lesbian people, don't worry about it.

-Where was Ryan Matthews? I want to know how his drinking problem has been progressing!

ENRAGING:

-Dixon. Silver. All of it. Did Dixon not get my memo that he needs to step aside and let my new favorite couple Teddy and Silver fall in love and be together forever and ever? I cannot wait for all of his machinations to be laid bare and for Teddy to beat him up, sans weird outdoor boxing helmets and gloves. (What was that about?)

-The fact that Navid bought cocaine with which to set up Jasper. Out of character much? And I can't even feel that bad about him getting in trouble for it, because he did indeed buy drugs and bring them to school, so it's not exactly unjust.

-I can't believe Deb and Harry got Annie such a cheap phone! That thing practically shattered into a million pieces when she used her stick arm to throw it barely halfway across the room!

Kinda boring-

I don't know how they do it, but somehow even a relationship based on murder and blackmail can't really make me care about Annie and Jasper. I mean come on Annie, at this point even jail would be preferable to dating Jasper, so just turn your bum -killing- booby-flasher self in.

So, while I'm happy to have 90210 back, the next episode needs to STEP IT UP.

Next week:
Love triangles, hiking and some Ryan Matthews!

Chuck Season 3, Episode 5 "Chuck Versus First Class"

2010-01-27T14:00:00.007-05:00

Well, since I am sure you all ready read my "Chuck Season 3 Primer" and saw me get all wordy about this show, I am going to assume you've watched this awesome episode and you just want me to list all the great things that happened in it with hilarious commentary and then list some stuff I would have like to see changed with even MORE hilarious comments. So that's what I'ma gonna do.

Things that were as awesome as Captain Awesome include:

-Casey being worried about Chuck! Come on that shit was adorable. This was a great Casey episode all around I think.

-Shaw questioning Sarah about where she was on those lost days after her meeting in Prague with Chuck. Shows us that her plan never would have worked, so maybe she can work on forgiving Chuck for not going with her!

-Casey, again! Loves: rules. Hates: insurgents.

-Chuck being totally grossed out to have to touch a dead guy. Super spy or not, he's still our Chuck.

-His line to the Ring operative (um, Stone Cold Steve Austin.) "I sincerely hope that's, not your father."

-Being on the fence about Shaw...I mean is he right about Sarah and Casey babying Chuck and not allowing him to be a real spy? We KNOW he's not right about spy love though...I want those spies to be together and in love dammit!!! (Don't fall in love at the CIA. It is like the Jersey Shore that way.)

-Um, Lieutenant Assistant Manager Casey. There are no words. (My Bodyguard!!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081207/)

-"Unfortunately I did not get to use my nunchucks." That is always a bummer.

-Adam Baldwin said "Bored now." like Vampire Willow! More Whedon alums on this show now! Please! I mean, what is Sean Maher doing these days anyway? He could totally come back and play a "back from the dead" Bryce, because he and Matthew Bomer look exactly alike anyway.

-Chuck telling Hannah about The Buy More and her asking "Is this real? Is it an insane asylum?" These are the very same questions people ask me when I tell them about working at the library.

Questions, Comments, Things that bugged me:

-Don't just instantly bond with every hot girl who happens to be in IT, from Burbank and looking for a job Chuck! You're in love with SARAH, remember?!!

-And he just looked SO happy to see her when she came into The Buy More. GAH!

-Why is The Ring still using CD-ROMS to store information? And after having such weird/cool phones in the last episode!

-Is Bryce for real dead? That makes me sad.

-Chuck missed Paris. That was sad. Is this setting us up for more job related angst? Because I kind of like Chuck being excited about his job for once!

-Team review. Stop reviewing the damn team CIA/NSA/whoever. They are not breaking up.

-I didn't even notice that the flight attendant/Ring operative was Josie Davis, the gawky daughter on Charles in Charge! Shame on me.

-Chuck, don't drink so much on your first mission. That is dumb.

-Um, he didn't get to use his nunchucks!

All in all I think creator Chris Fedak did a great job showing us how Chuck can gain new spy skills while still being the same old relatable Chuck. A hardened spy would never be so excited about seeing Paris, or getting a first class ticket! He is still the same sweet Chuck we have learned to love, but sometimes, he can kick some ass.

Next week: Hannah's at The Buy More. Ugh. I hope she doesn't turn out to be a spy or something.

Chuck Season 3! A Primer!

2010-01-25T13:31:00.016-05:00

Well you may have noticed (nor not!) the dearth of Heroes posts around here lately. I can give you a myriad of reasons for my neglectfulness (busyness, I was sick, it was my birthday, every time I try to get someone to watch Heroes with me they are like "um, yeah sure, I guess we can do that, if we have time or whatever.") but to be honest, I just don't feel the need to make time to watch Heroes the way I used to. What show do I feel the need to watch, even during the busiest of weeks? That's right people! CHUCK!!! So in the interest of making sure that everyone is right there with me on the whole "Watching Chuck on NBC every Monday at 8" thing, I decided that a primer on the show would be in order! If you keep this handy while you are watching Chuck, it will be just like watching it with me, which as anyone who knows me will tell you, is a sacred and life-changing experience! So let's get started! Once you read this you can definitely jump into Season 3, already in progress! Watch it tonight!!

Let's meet our characters!

Chuck Bartowski- The titular character of the show, played by Zachary Levi. (Remember him from Less than Perfect?! Me neither! He's adorable in this though. And OMG that show was on for 4 years?!! Wow, I had no idea.) Former student at Stanford, Chuck was kicked out when his roommate and best friend, Bryce Larkin, accused him of cheating. Chuck used his computer skills to get a job as part of the "Nerd Herd" at the Burbank, CA Buy More, where he toiled away until receiving an email from Bryce, which contained the CIA's supercomputer, the Intersect. Now that he has the Intersect in his brain, Chuck can access any information that CIA has. It's a goofy premise, but it works people, just trust me on this. Important bits of backstory that you might miss diving into this season are:

-Bryce accused Chuck of cheating to try and save Chuck from joining to the CIA. He only sent Chuck the Intersect as a last resort.
-Bryce is currently (presumed) dead.
-Chuck's long missing father created the Intersect, which is why it works so well in his son's brain.
-Chuck's college girlfriend, Jill, was part of an evil organization of double agents that Bryce was fighting.
-Chuck's mother died when he was a teenager, and his sister took care of him after that.
-Before the Intersect, Chuck felt like a total failure because he gotten kicked out of Stanford and worked at the Buy More.
-The Buy More is now Chuck's cover job.

Sarah Walker (fake name!)-Sarah is Chuck's CIA handler/sometime fake girlfriend. Oh but she is so much more than that, because she and Chuck are totally in love. I'm not gonna lie, there is A LOT of talk about Chuck and her being in love, but not really being able to make it work because they are spies. Some people (my dad!) think that the show focuses a bit too much on all of that, but I am cool with it because a) they are cute and b) Yvonne Strahovski is so damn good at playing the love story stuff that I can't look away whenever she does. It is her specialty. Well, that, and kicking ass and looking hot. At the beginning of Season 3 it was revealed that she wanted Chuck to leave the CIA and run away with her, but he couldn't bear the thought of leaving his family forever and not taking his chance to do something great with his life and work for the CIA. She was pretty pissed. I mean look at her. I would think most any man would run away with her! Chuck is seriously that sweet and good-hearted though, so it kinda makes her love him more.
- Not much of her backstory is known, other than that she had a con-artist father who taught her many skills that helped her become a spy.
-She used to work with and be in love with Bryce Larkin, so she has a history of falling in love on the job!
-Her cover job is working at a yogurt shop near The Buy More. Beneath this yogurt shop is "The Castle", a sweet CIA lair.
Colonel John Casey- played by Adam Baldwin, the king of "gruff with a heart of gold" characters, Colonel John Casey is Chuck's NSA handler. Things Casey loves: guns, Ronald Reagan, patriots. Things Casey hates: feelings, communism, traitors. Even though sometimes Sarah and Casey drive him insane, he is loyal and deep down inside he knows he luurves them! (He does!) This is a dude you want to have on your side if you ever get pinned down by gunfire anywhere.

Eleanor Bartowski-Woodcomb-Chuck's sister, played by Sarah Lancaster. Chuck and Ellie have a really sweet brother/sister relationship! I hope that the writers start using Ellie a little better than they have so far this season, because she has just had to act sort of silly and/or annoyed. Lancaster does a great job when the character really has to open up and be vulnerable, as she did last season when she asked Chuck to find their dad for her wedding. She has no idea about Chuck's secret CIA life and feels that he is just wasting his potential! She is a doctor and is also married to a doctor, a guy who does everything right, and a guy who Chuck has always wanted to live up to:

Captain Awesome! A.K.A. Devon Woodcomb- Captain Awesome really does live up to his name, as he is good looking, a great friend, husband and doctor, while also being pretty tough. Awesome has some idea of Chuck's secret identity as a CIA operative (no idea about the whole Intersect thing) and now sees Chuck through different eyes. The last few episodes involved Awesome in some of Chuck's missions, and it was pretty great to see him so impressed with Chuck and confident in his skills. (Even when Chuck wasn't so confident in himself!) I really love the role reversal that has come about with Awesome finding out about Chuck being in the CIA.

Agent Shaw- Played by Brandon Routh, we don't know much about this character so far, (except for that, according to my boyfriend he was "genetically engineered to impersonate Tom Cruise.") but he is taking charge of the team as they try to take out "The Ring" a CIA shadow operation trying to work within the CIA to take it down. (So much taking down!) He seems a little harsh on Chuck so far, but he was super lonely after he gave a speech about how friends and families suck and then no one invited him to the nice friend and family dinner they all had at the end of last night's episode. Bummer for you Agent Shaw.

Chuck has a few cohorts at the Buy More that are important to know, and we'll go through them too! I have been a little iffy on The Buy More stuff since day one, and this season things have the same kind of hit or miss quality so far. I see the Buy More as completely necessary to the premise of the show, and sometimes the goofy characters can be really hilarious (Jeffster, anyone?!! YES.) But other times you feel like you just want to get back to the A story and out of the Buy More. I actually think the budget cuts for this season, meaning every cast member will not be in every episode, might actually help that this season, because the Buy More stories are going to be cut down a bit. There was already one ep this season with no Buy More, and I think it worked great. HOWEVER, sometimes The Buy More guys are just sublime, absurdist comedy, so let's meet them!

Morgan Grimes-Chuck's bff since grade school, Morgan is our most down to earth Buy More employee. Chuck has been taking care of him and trying to save him from getting beat up since they were kids. Having just gotten a promotion to Assistant Manager, he turns to Chuck more than ever for advice on life! He used to be in love with Ellie, but since her marriage seems to be just as happy with their platonic friendship. Morgan's dream to become a Benihana chef died quickly, when he realized he just didn't have the knife skills.

Jeff and Lester. Apart they are creepy man-children who will never get girlfriends and who think Chuck is some kind of god. Together, they are Jeffster, whose covers of Styx will make your soul soar. Just don't join their Fight Club. You will regret it.

Big Mike-Tough yet fair manager of The Buy More. Doesn't seem to notice or care that Chuck constantly has to leave work to preform spy missions. Is banging Morgan's mom, which is simultaneously good and bad for Morgan. He's getting a good job but bad images out of it. Big Mike can be very graphic.

So now, when someone asks you if you watch Chuck, you can't be all "Well, I've never seen it, I'm not sure I can just jump right in blah blah blah..." You CAN! Stop talking crazy man, and saying blah blah at the end of a sentence! That's weird! Just watch it! Jump right it in! You won't regret it! Mondays! 8pm. Right before....Heroes. (I'm working on the Heroes thing, I swear.)

Heroes is back! And it was kind of alright!

2010-01-06T00:23:00.004-05:00

Heroes kicked off the new year with a two hour block of episodes, and some parts of them were actually okay! So instead of just complaining about this show, I am going to point out what I liked about these two episodes, "Upon This Rock" and "Let it Bleed". Then, I'm going to complain.

So, on to the good!

-Claire realized that something is up with Samuel and that he is not all he says he is. I have never seen a character act more obviously nefarious and still be treated as if he seems like a totally nice and normal person. Good job spotting how clearly evil he is Claire! (I'm just going to pretend that she didn''t buy into that whole "creating a beautiful new home with this homeless guy I lured here" thing. Because that would be stupid.)

-Um, I'm glad someone finally told Claire that her bio-Dad is dead.

-Peter's eulogy was really nice and heartfelt, and it almost made me forget the time that Nathan rounded up people with abilities, tortured them and sent them to internment camps. Almost.

-Actual time dedicated to mourning Nathan, who, though a douchebag, still managed to be one of the most interesting characters on the show. Credit really goes to Adrian Pasdar, who gave all of Nathan's thinly written motives and half-assed plans layers that lesser actors could not have managed. Also, that guy could really fill out a suit.

-HRG and Angela admitting that trying to turn Sylar into Nathan was a terrible, terrible plan. It was so terrible I am surprised it wasn't Nathan's idea.

-Claire's awesome "casual superhero in mourning" outfit that she rocked at Nathan's funeral!

-Peter and Claire! Broken up in real life or not, Milo Ventimigila and Hayden Panettiere have great chemistry together! And I am talking "kind of inappropriate for uncle/niece chemistry but still incredibly watchable" here. I have to say that honestly both actors are chemistry machines, and I was happy that the show remembered that these two are the best and most engaging main characters they have. Now if we can just have them in more scenes where they actually talk to each other about feelings and why they are acting totally insane (Listening to the police scanner and trying to foil a 1990's- style office shoot up? You're not Batman Peter!) I could really start getting behind this show again. Seriously people, that is all it would take. Put your two best actors together and have them speak to each other like humans. That's it. Why is that so hard?!!
-Brace yourself here, because you are not even going to believe what I have to say next. Something I liked about these two eps? HIRO and ANDO. I know, I know, that is insane and Hiro is back to being a weird annoying man-child on a "quest" or ten. But there was something kind of fun for a pop culture junkie like me in trying to figure out Hiro's references and what they mean. Plus, Ando is always pretty cute.

-Chuck Season 3 extended promo! It premieres Sunday at 9, watch it if you like really good TV! (WATCH IT)

-No Matt Parkman! Again! Yes!

-That incredibly weird and homoerotic picture of Peter and Nathan that Angela was cradling. It was awesome. Way to honor Peter and Nathan's totally inappropriate chemistry by reminding us that those two brothers always seemed to want to make out. Because they looked like they were about to in that picture.

Okay okay, it was still Heroes, and there was still a bunch of stuff that annoyed the crap out of me, such as:

-Mohinder droning on in the beginning. Even locked in a mental hospital this guy won't shut up!

-Pretty much the entire HRG/Blonde lady/Darth Maul storyline, including it's weird shoehorning of the whole "not trying to throw my liberal agenda in your face but torture is bad" thing. I think everyone besides Dick Cheney is pretty much on board with that these days Heroes, but thanks anyways. Also it had all the hallmarks of an annoying as hell storyline, the most annoying being a potentially awesome team-up that is scuttled before it even begins. What will I do with all my HRG/Darth Maul fanfic now?!

-Emma. Oh Emma, please help Samuel lure some slow homeless guy! Samuel seems like a totally nice and not weird guy, so his crazy request should definitely be carried out! Oh wait, the opposite of that is true. Also she didn't get into med school, and I still don't care.

-Claire being all pissed and surprised that HRG and Angela lied to her...again. She should really just be jaded at this point.

-Claire even considering for five minutes quitting college to lug stuffed animals for these weird carnies.

-Lydia and her completely incomprehensible plan to kill Samuel but somehow protect him at the same time. Or whatever she's doing.

-Lydia creepily throwing herself at Sylar to get info from him.

-Lydia saying to Sylar "You want love, but you're afraid you don't deserve it." GAG.

-Samuel explaining the concept of a "gray character" to Sylar, again, by way of pointing out that they're "not good guys, but not all bad either." Now you know I love Sylar, but he's a remorseless serial killer and Samuel is trying to rule the Earth with his power of dirt control. Maybe they're not all bad, but they're pretty close. Sylar's just hot and funny. Samuel's got nothing. Stop trying to make me feel for these guys.

-Emma has a 'siren song'? Oh please.

--They mentioned Wes. I don't care if seeing Peter fly again was actually kind of poignant, because Wes should be forgotten forever. Can't we be reminded of Claire's cool gay friend or even the underwater kissing guy instead?

-Sylar not killing Samuel.

-Sylar not being badass, again, even though that is how he should be.

-Samuel has a lost love. Do.not.care.

Just an FYI for the kids out there, when someone keeps saying to you, over and over, that something is "your choice" and you are "completely free" they do not mean it. That someone is probably a cult leader or a carnie bent on ruling the world with dirt control. Don't trust him! Or her! Just a little free advice there.

Next week: Sylar is all half Nathan and crap or something! Also, Claire is pissed and Peter is tormented! And carnie stuff, as usual. Sigh.

The 10 best things on television this year, that I can recall.

2009-12-21T14:46:00.009-05:00

10. Liam. - Sigh. Modern day Dylan McKay, complete with boat building skills and poor-little-rich-boy problems? I'll take it. When is 90210 coming back on again?!!
9. The knowledge that if you're dancing to House Music, it isn't cheating. -Now it might seem crazy for me to find something that could be labeled "best" in the "so awful you can only watch silently with your mouth agape" Jersey Shore, but it was pretty damn amazing watching Snooki explain to J-Woww's (Yes those are their names. Feel free to call her Snickers though, everybody does.) boyfriend that since J-Woww was dancing to House Music and not R&B, the fact that she was rubbing herself all over Pauly D. was actually some kind of dance "battling" and not cheating. Or even flirting! The best part? He totally accepted it as true and correct. Thank you Snooki, you have added so much to my life.

8. Dexter's Season 4 Finale "The Getaway"
-In a season that seemed determined to at least rearrange the show's premise a bit, making Dexter less of a monster a more of a family man, the season finale not only gave us hope that Dexter might become something better, it also showed us the price he pays for giving into his "dark passenger". After a beautiful scene with his sister (Jennifer Carpenter) that helps him realize that he actually CAN connect with other people, Dexter (Michael C. Hall) goes home to find that his wife Rita, murdered by the man he just killed. "The Getaway" gave us everything we could ask for in a season finale: great work by the cast, excitement, suspense, tender moments and a shocking twist.

7. Torchwood: Children of Earth America, this is how you do great sci-fi. This 10 hour miniseries left me speechless, a little depressed and hungry for more. After a couple of fun but uneven seasons, creator Russell T. Davies fearlessly made sure that Torchwood would not be remembered as a some goofy Doctor Who spin-off, but as a gut-wrenching, unforgettable series of it's own.

6. JAMES FRANCO ON GENERAL HOSPITAL. - Confession time: I watch soap operas. When I got Soapnet on my cable system, I physically jumped for joy. Sometimes they get so terrible, I can't even watch them for months at a time. But sometimes, amazing things happen on them, and this was one of those times.I don't know how this happened, if it was performance art, a practical joke or a lost bet, but whatever it was, it was awesome.

5. Lost, Season 5 -Time travel? Love triangles? Nuclear bomb detonation? Sign me up. This season Lost got back to what it does best, showing us the humanity (and inhumanity) of these characters while putting them through twisty, turny suspenseful hell. (The actual best thing I saw on TV this year? Kate's hair in this episode.)

4. Jim and Pam's Wedding, The Office -If The Office's "Niagara Falls" didn't bring a tear to your eye, you are not human, man. You must be nothing more than an incredibly realistic looking human style robot or something. I mean Kevin was wearing tissue boxes as shoes! It was great.

3.Chuck, Season 2
-If a smart, adorable show about a nerd whose brain accidentally becomes the CIA's most important super computer doesn't sound like your cup of tea, get a new cup. Chuck has the most like-able cast on television, great music, an only deepening mythology, more laughs per hour than most comedies and more real, raw moments per hour than most dramas. Season 3 is coming in January, and if you're smart, which I think you are, you'll be watching.

2. Modern Family
-Ask anyone who knows me, I cannot say enough good things about this show. It is hilarious, has an amazing cast, including some incredibly gifted child actors, and kinda warms your heart sometimes too! Also, a giant clown named Fizbo threatening to kick a jerk's ass if he doesn't apologize to his boyfriend. Welcome to awesometown people.

1. Mad Men, Season 3 Finale, "Shut the Door, Have a Seat" -Part fun and jaunty caper flick, part heart wrenching family drama, there was nothing better this year than the season ender of this great show. As usual, creator Matthew Weiner made sure that everything, from the cast to the clothes, was perfect. This was Don Draper's hour, and Jon Hamm did beautiful work as always. The look of pride and triumph that he has as he surveys that tiny Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce office just made the episode for me. He is ready to value the people he works with, and he is ready to build something that is his. You can tell from the look in his eyes that he can't wait to see how it all turns out, and I can't either.

Melrose Place blew my mind this week!

2009-12-10T11:26:00.002-05:00

Well, I didn't have any Melrose Place related dreams this week, but that doesn't mean that a ton of stuff didn't happen! We found out so many things! It was amazing! Most of them made sense even!

-Ella loves Jonah because "He gets me." And she can be herself around him. They are cute. I'm just saying.

-Riley is "scared" and "not ready" to get married.

-Jonah is pissed.

-Ella has super pretty hair.

-The CW's website had like 10 versions of the same two pictures from this episode, and not one of them features Ella's pretty hair.

-Lauren's still whoring.

-Lauren and David are still cute together. (I wonder if that first thing about Lauren will somehow affect this second thing?!)

-Amanda is looking for not something with 'sentimental value', but for a 19 million dollar painting that she believes Syd stole from her.

-Amanda and Michael were sleeping together at some point in the recent past.

--Jonah's movie dreams might be coming true.

-Riley is not ready for any inappropriate post-engagement-break-up sex. (Sorry Auggie!)

-Jonah is. (Good for you Ella!)

-Sydney and Violet actually made up the night Sydney died (Sydney did so much that night!) and were going to be a part of eachother's lives.

-When Vanessa called her a whore, Sydney actually used the line "Takes one to know one" on her. These two should meet Lauren!

-But the most important thing we learned tonight?! Scary-face Brooke Burns/Micheal's wife Vanessa killed Sydney! And not just because Syd was sleeping with her husband, but because Sydney knew that David is Noah's father! WHAT?! Yeah, I did not see that coming. But now I know why they cast a blonde actor as Noah.

-Violet went all crazy and after an intense girl on girl pool fight, actually drowned Vanessa! I hope Noah was sleeping or watching TV or something. That kid is going to need some serious therapy.

-David had a really bad night. He made some bad decisions (letting Violet watch his son/brother, telling her Vanessa killed her mother), but I don't think he could have imagined when he woke up that morning that his girlfriend was going to OD on some kind of made-up drug that a john gave her while she was whoring, and that his neighbor would kill is stepmother/former lover who killed his father's mistress/his former girlfriend. No one can really.
-Amanda saw the whole thing, and then totally covered for Violet, hoping, I guess that she knows where this 19 million dollar painting is. Okay, sure, maybe she does. Still, maybe yell or something when you see someone drowning a lady in your pool.

-No one is ever going to swim in that pool again. Two deaths officially makes it cursed.

-They used such a scary-faced actress for a reason! Because she was a murderer! A lot of casting decisions are coming into focus for me here.

-Micheal's innocent and was just trying to protect his scary-faced wife, who he seems to totally hate. I guess for the sake of the kid or something. I'm just glad we're not losing Michael Mancini!

Melrose Place will be back 'soon' they say! With new cast members! And more fun stuff! I'm ready for it.

What does 'Coming Soon' mean?! Need more 90210 now!

2009-12-10T10:42:00.002-05:00

Looking through my notes about 90210 this week, there are no fewer than 7 sad faces! That's a lot of sad faces! It was a sad episode, with lots of drama, miscommunication and general angst. A lot of stuff went down. It was actually a pretty awesome show this week!

I have to say that even thought I kind of felt bad for Annie here, I did not actually make a sad face next to her name (sad faces next to: Teddy, Ivy, Ade, Teddy again, Silver + Dixon, Ivy again.) However, even though I pretty much hate Annie, there was a lot I liked about the whole Annie/Jasper take-down story such as:

-Naomi sincerely apologizing to Annie. That was nice. Even though Annie is pretty terrible, she didn't deserve what Naomi did. (She did kill that bum so...maybe she did?)

-Naomi going all mama bear on Annie when she found out that Jasper was a drug dealer.

-Liam apologizing to Annie, which he really should have, because he did let everyone believe they slept together, which is not cool.

-The whole original gang (minus the more likeable new cast members) got together to talk to Annie! It kind of made me miss Ethan, but what can you do?

-Ade stepping up and admitting that she bought drugs from Jasper, which made Annie believe them AND brought her and Navid a little closer together. (Man, I really miss my favorite teenage almost-marrieds. Adrianna and Navid 4eva!)

-Annie actually believing them! Finally!

-And of course, the kicker. JASPER KNOWS ANNIE RAN OVER HIS UNCLE. What?! How one earth could he know, and why would he date someone who killed his uncle? Oh man this guy is more twisted than we knew. I am sure this will kick off a story of poor Annie being forced to stay with him or something, before it is revealed that she really hit a black bear or something. Or a minotaur. )

But Annie isn't the only one to suffer heartbreak at the incredibly well advertised (Ballerinas in the halls?! What?!) "Winter Wonderland" dance. Poor Teddy and Silver both suffer the heartbreak of miscommunication. Aided by Dixon, coming back to remind us that even though everyone is being pretty nice on this episode (excluding villain Jasper) that he is still the biggest jerk on the show. When he didn't tell Silver that the blonde was Teddy's sister, I actually yelled "Ugh, what a jerk!" to no one in particular. Why does Dixon suck so much? Teddy and Silver are my new Navid and Adrianna, as in I care a weird amount about the progression of their relationship. Way more than I should. Damn you Dixon!!

Speaking of Dixon, I actually really liked the scenes with him and Deb where they talked about his adoption and his trouble feeling like he belonged in the family. It is pretty cool that they touched a little bit on the whole Black kid in a white family thing. I am not so sure I am too excited about the "finding my birth mom" thing, mostly because they did that last season, it was pretty sweet and it made me stop hating Annie for five minutes. I don't think this can happen again.

So let's review, because you might need to refer back to this 'soon' (whenever that is!) when 90210 returns!

-Annie knows Jasper is a drug dealer.

-Jasper knows Annie is a bum killer.

-Adrianna is clean and getting back into everyone's good graces.

-Silver and Teddy like each other, but Silver thinks Teddy is a player and Dixon decided to prey on that and kiss her. Cause he's a jerk.

-Teddy is sweet.

-Dixon is jerk.

-Naomi and Liam are back together.

-Liam is making a boat, not a killing machine.

-Liam is hot.

-Ivy is heartbroken. Or at least sad.

-Navid is still taking the hard line when it comes to forgiving Ade, but he's softening a little. Maybe.

-Ryan Matthews is drinking at work, I guess because Jen is a horrible person. Or because he is an idiot.

-West Beverly High School spends an inordinate amount of money on their dances.

-I love snow cones. Great refreshment idea Dance Committee!

See you 'soon'!

Heroes-The last two episodes until 2010!

2009-12-08T13:43:00.002-05:00

Let's just start with "Thanksgiving":

-Everyone on this show needs an interior decorator. Do all the Heroes have to live in the most drab, depressing places imaginable?

-Oooh it's that blonde woman who likes Bennet again! If this show needs anything, it's definitely MORE characters.

-Awkward Thanksgivings all around. Sandra brings her boyfriend. H.R.G stalks the blonde; invites her to the worst Thanksgiving ever. Claire threatens to quit school. Over at the Petrelli's, Angela lies, threatens and generally stomps around like a child before admitting that Nathan is both dead and Sylar, then Sylar eats all the pie. Seriously.

-At the Carny Thanksgiving, Hiro time travels to when Samuel killed Joseph, showing Lydia, instead of time traveling to when Samuel took Charlie and saving her. Okay. Sure. Not exactly what I would do in that situation, but really, who am I to judge?

-Claire stole the compass and then she and Gretchen went on a ROAD TRIP! You are an idiot Claire.

Meanwhile, Nathan's bio-daughter, who has no idea that he's dead and seems completely unconcerned with her bio-family at this point anyway, was conned and joined the Carnival with Samuel. I don't think it could have been more clear that Claire was being snowed, and I can only hope Gretchen's decision to weirdly accept Claire's terrible choice just means she is driving straight to H.R.G.'s and getting his help.

H.R.G. and that blonde woman worked on finding Claire and on their own relationship issues. I like H.R.G. being with someone who actually likes him and is nice to him. I am sure the writers are working on that as we speak, and it will be all ruined in January.

The closing montage reminded me of that lame Emma woman, and let me know that apparenly Hiro, Ando and Mohinder are running around in a jungle or something. Even though last we saw Hiro he was trying to save Charlie, the last we saw Ando he was about to marry Hiro's sister and the last we saw of Mohinder he was in a straitjacket in a padded room, I'm not even wondering why or how. I just don't care.

Heroes will return in January. At least I think it will.

-

90210-The Destruction of Jen!

2009-12-02T17:41:00.001-05:00

So, I missed the last episode and half of 90210 before this one, and there were a few important plot points there including:

-Annie's parents don't want her to see Jasper.

-Adrianna is a mess.

-Ivy and Liam are "casual"

-Silver and Kelly's mom died.

-Jasper pushed Navid down the stairs for telling Dixon he's a drug dealer!!!!

So we're starting there, with the whole, yay! Navid is okay! And of course he has memory loss so he doesn't know how he ended up at the bottom of the stair. I am willing to bet he also doesn't know why he was wearing those weird male jazz shoes either.

He is sort of a drama queen about the whole thing, and he shoots down Adrianna TWICE, once when she actually tries to explain to him why she kissed Teddy. (basically, she was engaging in self-sabotage.) Navid is harsh man. But he has had a tough couple of months, so I'm willing to give him a break.

I don't know where Kelly is during this whole thing, but Naomi and Silver have such good friend chemistry! I loved Naomi trying to be goofy and make Silver feel a little better. It was sweet. Still, Kelly should probably be there for her sister, since her mom just died and everything.

In other Silver news: her and Teddy kissed! They are so totally going to be in love and all that stuff. Adrianna is going to be really mad if Teddy breaks his "no relationship code" for Silver! Also, Silver and Dixon made up, and Dixon behaved generally decently in this episode, though it is still mind boggling that all these people had no problem being friends with Liam even though they believed he slept with Annie but all of them pretty much hated Annie for the same thing. If Annie weren't so awful I would have to charge a little misogyny, but Annie is terrible so maybe people were just looking for an excuse to be mean to her or something.

Speaking of Liam: Here is a dreamy picture of him:
Oh. So what about the absolute super BEST part of the episode?!! The greatest part? All of our favorite characters (plus Dixon) banded together to TAKE JEN DOWN. I was a little disappointed that since were getting all of these Ocean's 11 references that we didn't get to see a little more of the planning, but it was still a sweet payoff in the end. Not only did Naomi find out about Jen sleeping with Liam just to get back at her, Ryan Matthews, idiot of the year, finally wised up and realized that Jen was a teenager-schtupping, sister-money-stealing, gold-digging biatch! It was a beautiful sight.

I really shouldn't be taking this much joy from the take-down of a fictional character, but man, I really hate Jen. I do feel very bad for Naomi, pretty much finding out that she has no one in her family that she can count on, but I guess that is still better than being scammed by her awful sister. I even felt kinda bad when Ivy kissed Liam in front of her, even though I am an Ivy + Liam 4eva kind of girl. I mean she called Annie right away to apologize, which you have to admit, is pretty stand up. I hope they don't completely destroy Ivy's character or any potential Ivy and Liam have just to get him and Naomi back together though.

Other thoughts:

-Silver looked like a waiter in her outfit. (I was going to change that to 'waitress, and then I thought, no, it's definitely 'waiter.')

-I love the HUGE plate of food Naomi took at the horse race, and how she plopped a giant lobster on top.

-Best line, Ivy to Teddy, re: her and Liam "Don't Tweet about it, pretty boy."

-Worst line, Jasper to Annie re: her parents hating him "It sends me into a dark place."

-I love that Silver and Naomi were listening to Hall and Oates.

-I totally called that Teddy wouldn't be able to go to Jackie's funeral because it reminded him of his own mom's.

-Jackie Taylor's funeral was offscreen?!!

-Another awesome music choice, PJ Harvey for Adrianna's "wake up and find out everything has gone to hell while you were in a drug induced haze" scene.

-Teddy, Dixon, Ivy and the waiter/actor really should have celebrated their victory over Jen in another location, away from Naomi, whose entire world had just been busted open. AND she didn't really have a secret admirer!

-Dixon covered for Annie! I hate these two slightly less when they don't hate each other.

-NAVID REMEMBERS WHO THREW HIM DOWN THE STAIRS! Next take-down? Jasper perhaps?

Next week:

Ooh! A dance!

I dreamed a dream of Melrose Place.

2009-12-02T15:48:00.006-05:00

Last night I dreamed that visiting L.A. from Western Mass, I met David and he totally became my boyfriend (with apologies to my real boyfriend, who would never wear that horrible weird vest thing over a t-shirt that David is rocking in the above photo), but we were having some issues because I wanted to do some "touristy" things around L.A. but he was stuck dealing with his crazy roommates (Lauren and also Serena from Gossip Girl). THEN people were protesting outside the window, and it turned out they were people from Western Mass protesting about how much L.A. sucks and how WMASS is so much better. So David went down there and they ended up knocking him over and sort of beating him up by rolling all over him weirdly. It was strange, but I think it showed me one thing, Melrose Place must be getting better, because my subconscious is still totally interested!

So what happened on the actual show you might ask? Well:

David and Lauren (Still no nooky there, because of her whoring) worked together to get Michael arrested for Sydney's murder. It certainly looks like he's the culprit at this point, but I am sure there could be a TWIST!! I am liking David and Lauren together by the way. Maybe he, of all people, can totally accept her hooker ways and they can make a real go of it!
Ella got Jonah a job as an IT guy at WPK, then promptly used him for her own means. But that backfired when he discovered that she hadn't fought for him to get the music video credit in some episode I didn't watch, and so he fired her as his agent, manager AND friend. Harsh dude.

Riley's on Jonah's list as well (as usual) because she stuck her nose in where it didn't belong and consequently a psycho dude broke Jonah's very expensive camera. Riley really did not explain herself very well in this situation though. Instead of saying "I kind of got between Violet and her brother" she should have said "This crazy guy forced his way into our apartment and smashed your stuff!" Both are true, and that second one is sure to keep your fiance from being mad at you.

"What did Riley stick her nose into anyway?" You might be asking. Well, let me just tell you this, it is pretty epic. Get ready. Are you ready? Okay... Violet has a BROTHER/LOVER. Yup. That's right. She has an adopted brother who is also her lover. Eww. Also, he's a meth-head. This dude is going to be so pissed when he finds out about her Auggie obsession.

This Violet development also shows us that pretty much everything she has said so far to everyone has been true. (From Oregon, stole $ to run away from a messed up upbringing, was looking for her birth-mother for years.) So that is kind of an interesting development. The brother/lover did seem to mention that becoming lovers instead of siblings was her idea, but he also seemed crazy, so it is hard to take him at his word.

Amanda is on a search for some object that she gave Sydney that is very important to her. So important in fact, that even though she is a multimillionaire she is going to live in the apartment complex she lived in 10 years ago to intimidate it's residents into giving her information on said precious object. Poor Ella. No one wants to live that close to their crazy, evil boss.

Best line of the night: Michael, re: Amanda and Sydney becoming friends again "Did you see each other at a support group for women who faked their own deaths?"

Worst part of the episode (for those afraid of Brooke Burns only): Seeing Michael trying to get it on with his freaky-faced wife.

Next week:
WHOA! Jonah and Ella hooking up?! Jonah and Riley breaking up?! How did I suddenly become so interested in Jonah?!!!

Melrose Place- "Cahuenga". Yup, that's what it's named. "Cahuenga". Really.

2009-11-18T14:21:00.004-05:00

I can't even talk about these terrible episode titles anymore, so I'm just going to try to move on here.

I think the contrast of the old Melrose Placers to the new ones is quite funny actually. I mean all of the old people seem pretty much insane at this point. They are girlfriend murdering, young people sexing, life destroying maniacs! They make art thieves, hookers, and teachers turned models seem like the sanest most normal people in the world. Even Auggie, who has actually killed someone, seems measurably more sane than say, Jane when she showed up and just started blackmailing people willy-nilly.

I don't know if I want the young people to become more crazy (and therefore less boring) or the old people to become less crazy (and therefore more logical). Maybe a little of both?

So what even happened last night? Well:

Amanda Woodward returned! She's here, she's blonde, and she's bitchy!! And Riley pissed her off by not using a fake bio (which was a ridiculous plan because someone could just google her and find out the truth...but okay.),so she RUINED HER. Watch out Melrose Place kids, this lady has no problem taking away your teaching job. Riley and Jonah celebrate before Amanda Woodward RUINS them.

She also fired Caleb (cute gay boss of Ella), has some kind of weird interest in Ella so she sent some hot lesbian chick to try and seduce her away as a test, and tried to force Ella to do the Riley ruining, which Ella would not, because she is not twisted and evil from too much Botox. YET.

We did finally get some girl on girl action from the "supposedly bisexual but usually just pining for Jonah" Ella, so score another one for Amanda Woodward!

Amanda is looking for something that Dead Sydney has hidden from her, so maybe that accounts for her interest in Ella, as Ella and Sydney were once friends, before they were bitter, bitter enemies.
I have to agree with Amanda on one thing, the amount of PR these people were doing for this dude's denim line did seem to be a bit much.

So Amanda's return was pretty good I would say, and next week she's gonna RUIN everybody's life, just for kicks.

I guess other, non-Amanda things happened too, including:

David decided he was totally into Lauren (the hooker) so he created Fall in her apartment and got her chili from her hometown. I don't really know where his sudden intense romantic interest in her came from, but they did have some intense making out before she decided that she "just couldn't". (She hates being reminded of work at home!) I kind of like these two together I have to say!

Everyone turned on Auggie in a matter of minutes after he was arrested in Mexico for Sydney's murder (hey, he did flee to Mexico), besides David, who thinks it was Michael and seems to have found evidence of that, and Violet, who is crazy and always sleeps with Auggie whenever he is upset about anything. She's probably the real killer, right?!

Because of that whole RUINING thing, Jonah has to get a job now that Riley is unemployed. I do love that they actually had an argument about which one of them should get a job. I've got a bright idea guys, why don't you both get jobs, like normal people!

The show comes back Dec 1, and Amanda introduces herself to the rest of the gang and promptly RUINS them all. Or at least starts making plans to do so.

My 100th Blog post is about Heroes! That's kind of sad really...

2009-11-17T18:27:00.002-05:00

So I watched the last two episodes of Heroes one right after another last night. Kind of like a movie. Or a some kind of torture. "Shadowboxing" was so terrible that I don't even want to talk about it. I'll just list the ways it was awful.

-It had Parkman and Sylar arguing constantly, even though they are the same person. And Matt actually said to Sylar, who is let's not forget a remorseless serial killer "This is ridiculous. Just give me back my body." An ineffectual argument from an ineffectual man.

-They faked it like they totally killed Matt! It made me happy for like five minutes, until I realized it wasn't his firing I'd been reading about all week...then it made me angry because you shouldn't give someone something beautiful and then snatch it away.

-They made me root SO HARD for a character who randomly murdered some nice old man who was trying to help him. I actually yelled "In your face Parkman!!!" at that point. Heroes is making me a sick, sick person.

-It had Emma in it, and she admitted the reason that she quit medical school (death of her nephew), got over her fears about it and pretty much decided to become a doctor. So her story's over now, right?

-Peter's powers are making him weak. Remember when he used to be awesome?

-Claire's lesbian roommate left. She was pretty likeable and it lamely isolates Claire AGAIN. I wonder if Hayden Panettiere gets bored of playing the exact same story line over and over over.
-Claire was forced to hear another person's boring monologue about how evil her father is. Did you guys know that HRG operates in world where everything is just shades of gray? SHADES OF GRAY! ARE YOU GETTING IT YET?

-Emma and Peter work in a hospital where they just throw sick children into supply closets! Someone report that place!

-Peter and Emma's romance seems to be progressing. Ugh.

Three great things happened:

-The Haitian came back, and we learned that his name is Rene (maybe we already knew that...LOVE him though!)

-There was a cute HRG/Claire-Bear scene (Sniff. Those two always get me)

-And...Peter took his shrine to himself down! Why? I don't know! Maybe because he can't use powers very well anymore? Or because he wants to invite Emma over for dinner and even he has to admit that the shrine thing is pretty weird? Because he wants to ponder the one clipping not about himself, which happens to be about Samuel? (Newspaper clippings are inordinately important to Peter Petrelli's life.) I don't know why he did it, but I'm pretty glad he did. "Hero Paramedic Takes Down Creepy Shrine to Himself!" Now that's a clipping worth saving Peter.

Okay then, on to "Brother's Keeper" which I have to admit was a much better episode. It wasn't what I would call good, but for Heroes, it was kind of compelling. Kind of.

So the last episode started at the end of the one two weeks ago, and I guess Hiro's been sitting around the carnival pouting about Charlie and staring at her nametag for god knows how long at this point. The timelines of this episode make absolutely no sense to me. I know we haven't seen Mohinder in awhile, but I still don't think it has been long enough for him to get a new teaching job, develop an amazing rapport with his students AND get a new hot girlfriend that he has made a home with, all the while giving up on researching people with abilities, even though he has one now. (The fact that he is super strong was never mentioned or acknowledged in any way.) I mean Mohinder got a new job and a new woman before Nathan's body could even begin to decay!

So basically Hiro has to go back in time to stop Mohinder from burning a film that is evidence that Samuel can "increase his power one thousand fold" when surrounded by a certain number of other people who have powers. Or something like that. Samuel of course didn't even know about this until Mohinder came strolling into the carnival like an idiot, letting him know about how he could become powerful beyond all belief and basically rule the world. Why would you give anyone, anyone, that kind of information? Sometimes it physically hurts me how stupid Mohinder is. Samuel's brother Joseph agrees with me on this one, and tells Mohinder to get the heck out of the carnival. Of course Samuel heard, probably killed his brother, went and killed Mohinder. So Hiro gets the film, saves Mohinder, and then in a particularly sadistic turn on Hiro's part, hides Mohinder in a mental institiution (complete with padded cell and straighjacket!) to keep Mohinder from hindering Samuel's plan and not saving Charlie. Or something. It really seems like these two could have figured out a way to work together against Samuel but, blah blah blah, they are stupid, you know the rest.

So we learned some good things there, like all of this is Mohinder's fault, why Samuel is trying to gather the heroes and who probably killed Joseph. (Samuel). So that was good.

Also good? The brothers Petrelli, together again! From the almost inappropriate reunion hug to the final "Tell me it isn't true" moment, something about the chemistry of these two actors really makes all the scenes they are in together really pop! I mean contrast Peter and Nathan scenes to any scene with Peter and and any of his love interests and you'll see what I mean.

Besides smoking hot dudes with chemistry, this episode also brought us a few refreshing things including:

-People talking about their issues/weird things that are happening to them etc., instead of just acting cagey and then doing something rash. (Nathan told Peter about waking up in the carnival, Tracy confided to Claire about her out of control powers.)

-Cute bonding between Tracy and Claire! (First time I've liked any of Ali Larter's characters in forever!)

-The Haitian! I mean, Rene!

-Tracy AND Claire going to see HRG independently! (I just don't want him to be lonely.)

-Disgustingly funny severed foot jokes!

-Forward motion of the plot! Nathan and Peter find out Nathan is a) dead and b) Sylar. Sylar got out of Matt Parkman's head!

-Maybe less Parkman now that Sylar isn't in his head anymore?

-Everyone, including Mohinder himself, seems to be able to acknowledge that he is an idiot and only bad things happen whenever he inserts himself into any situation. I mean his girlfriend's prediction that he would go all crazy over his father's research came true in a matter of hours!

So at the end of this episode, I was kind of intrigued and excited about what might happen next week! There IS a casting spoiler I would like to discuss that kind of takes the wind out of my sails and squanders the tiny bit of goodwill that I now have towards this show but...that'll have to wait.

Next week:
Where's Sylar? Inside his Sylar/Nathan body or what?

A Window in Your Heart: Mad Men, Season 3, Episode 13, Shut the Door, Have a Seat.

2009-11-12T09:55:00.012-05:00

There was so much awesome in this episode I don't even know where to start. The episode almost felt like two, one with an incredibly depressing and dramatic tone, and one with a fun, jaunty tone. My favorite part was most definitely the creation of Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce which was like watching the best caper/ heist movie I can think of starring my favorite actors in the world. It was that good. Highlights include:

-Don got out of his contract, cut and ran, yet got everyone awesome to go hobo with him!

-The way Roger snapped his hand up when Don asked if they should vote. He doesn't even need dialogue. John Slattery is a genius.

-Roger: "Join or die?! That's your pitch?"

-Roger on Jane:"The most interest that girl has ever had in a book depository."

-Bert on Jane: "You sold your birthright so you could marry that trollop!"

-Pete in his pajamas. That is the nightmare man. You are faking sick and your bosses come to your house! I kind of loved Pete again that scene. Oh show, why do you want me to love all these horrible people so much? I don't know why, but I do.

-Trudy as Pete was losing his temper "Oh Peter, can I speak to you for a moment?" Despite their obvious problems, I always feel like Trudy and Pete really do match each other well. She knows his rhythms and how to respond to them.

-Peggy to Don: "I don't want to make a career of being kicked when you fail." Even though I really wanted Peggy to come with him, I was also really proud of her for standing up to Don. I'm pretty sure he was as well.

-Pete, completely freaked out that Harry isn't supposed to be in on the plan, yelling so obviously as they walk in "Hey everybody! Harry Crane is here!"

-Harry Crane (Luckiest bastard in the world by the way. They wanted him? Hopefully Joan will be running media within the month.): "Are you kidding?" Roger, in that perfect deadpan: Yes. Yes we are. Happy Birthday."

-Bert Cooper threatening to tie Harry up and throw him in a closet for the weekend. That guy is so great.

-Roger making the call! Of course we knew it was Joan!

-Joan striding in triumphantly and saving the day. Don: "Joan. Of course."

-Roger and Joan sniping at each other like an old married couple. "I can't read your writing. What does that even say?!" "It's very clear, it says 'correspondence." ROGER AND JOAN 4EVA people! 4eva.

-Don awesomely breaking down the door to the art department. How can you not love his guy?!! Oh right, there's that whole total liar thing.

-Don showing up, hat in hand, to make things right with Peggy. It was great to see him admit to her how important she was, and how much he valued her work. "I will spend the rest of my life trying to hire you." It was great for him to tell her that he sees her as an extension of himself because it shows you how important she is to him. They really are so much alike, and they are both amazingat their jobs because work is the only thing either of them feels safe putting all of themselves into. Don needs Peggy as a mirror, but I think she needs him just as much.

-Pryce's look of jubilation as he was fired from PPL. "Very good! Happy Christmas!"

-Joan helping Don get a new place. "Furnished?" "Yes." "I'm sorry." My friend Eric said it best, she's so discreet, she's like a spy. Love Joan. So glad she's going to back with the gang next season!

The fun of the creation of a new agency by all the old players we love (except Sal! Sadness.) was a stark contrast to Don's home-life scenes. Watching Don and Betty tell Sally and Bobby that they were going to separate was gut-wrenching. I thought both child actors did an incredible job there, and was especially impressed with Jared S. Gilmore as Bobby, who we haven't seen a ton of this season. The way he threw his arms around Don and begged him not to go brought even ice queen Betty to tears. It was like we were watching Sally be forced to grow up right there on screen. I think Kiernan Shipka has been great this season and I loved her line to her parents "You say things and you don't mean them and you can't do that!" Both Don and Betty would do well to learn that lesson.

One of the incredible things about Jon Hamm's performance as Don Draper as that even when you are completely repulsed by the character, you are inexplicably drawn to him, and in my opinion, rooting for him. Even though Don has lied to her for their entire marriage and cheated on her constantly, I still found myself completely outraged and saddened by Betty's treatment of him. Maybe it is because she dangled the hope of the two of them finally getting to live an honest life together in front of him for awhile. Maybe it's because she's "built herself a life raft" in the form of Henry Francis. (Can't believe Roger knew about that! I loved his, "I was going to tell you. No I wasn't.") Maybe it's because Don is right about one thing, she is a snob, and when she learned about Don's lies about his life, she couldn't abide living with the son of a whore when she had the chance to live with a real man of wealth and power. I don't know, but when Don told Betty he was going to take the kids because "God knows they'll better off" I really wanted that to happen! And when he called her and told he wouldn't fight her, I couldn't help but feel a little sense of defeat.

I think the fact that the writers have been giving us glimpses of Don's absolutely horrific childhood is one of the reasons he remains sympathetic. The scene where Don remembers himself as little Dick Whitman seeing his father killed leads him to realize something that Archie never could: You can't handle this world all on your own. It's taken Don Draper a long time to realize that he actually needs people, (Roger: You're no good at relationships because you don't think they're important.") and though he used this realization to fix things at work, it was too late for his marriage.

I am left wondering where this leaves Don and Betty for next season. After this episode and the interview creator Matthew Weiner gave in The Daily Beast this week it seems pretty clear that there will be no getting back together for the Drapers. But will Henry really be the knight in shining armor he claims to be? And if he's not, will we get to see that play out next season at all? Their entire relationship, from him hitting on her while she is heavily pregnant to his proposal after having spent no more than a few hours total with her has been very strange, and I can only assume that he isn't exactly all he claims to be. Unfortunately for Betty, she seems to be attracted to men with that quality.

In the end, it's Don Draper's show, and I guess that's why we can't help rooting for him despite some of the awful things he's done and said. The look of pride and triumph that he had as he surveys the tiny Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce office just made the episode for me. He is ready to value the people he works with, and he is ready to build something that is his. You can tell from the look in his eyes that he can't wait to see how it all turns out, and I can't either. August can't come soon enough.

Great Mad Men Spoof by Sidecar

2009-11-05T18:02:00.001-05:00

I especially love the beginning! You know I hate those previews!
Milk Men - A Mad Men Parody

Atom.com: Funny Videos | Spoofs | TV & Movie Spoofs

Melrose Place- "Gower" The CW needs a new episode namer ASAP. That isn't even a real word!!!

2009-11-04T16:15:00.001-05:00

Okay there is just one thing I have to get off my chest after seeing last night's Melrose Place. Maybe I'm a meddler, maybe I'm a fixer, maybe I get too involved in other people's lives, but I have to say, if I found out my "bestie slash roomate" had become a high class hooker I am pretty sure I would not be able to tell her, as Ella did "I'll never mention it again, unless you want to talk about it." Um, WHAT?!!! Your friend has become a whore because she can't afford med school. There is really a host of problems that come with that, especially since you are her roommate!! You should get her a second job, loan her money, bring her to a freakin' loan officer, I don't care what you have to do, it will be beneficial for both of you if she STOPS being a hooker. So that's where I stand on that. I mean at least try Ella. Even one "are you sure this is the right choice for you?" conversation would be nice.

Other mind boggling choices made by on Melrose Place:

Auggie decided to sleep with crazy Violet. That was after she infected the chef with her serious case of "sexy face" by sharing a fork with him. Lord knows what Auggie's going to get form her. I have heard that "ass chin" can be sexually transmitted...

Jonah and Riley decided to be on the show and be boring. And kiss other people. Ugh just break up already.

David buried the knife he thinks he murdered Sydney with (no way was it him) at a construction site, where it would surely be disturbed but all the construction going on. I can see how this guy is some kind of art thief, he is super great at being a criminal.

Both David and Ella think they could possibly be responsible for Sydney's death, which really does not speak well of either of them.

Sydney continued her streak of meeting a distraught young man at a difficult place in his life and sleeping with him almost instantly.

Lauren decided that certain kind of integrity were more important than others. For me, very little is more important than me not having to be a prostitute, but we all have different priorities I guess.

The worst detective ever continued his murder investigation.

Rick Fox decided to do a 30 second cameo as a jerk.

A woman at the wedding Riley and Jonah were videoing wore a ridiculously ugly hat.

Ella wore an INCREDIBLY weird and hideous white pantsuit.

So before we move on to the "next week" bit, we do have something to talk about here. Casting news is NOT spoilers, and there has been some BIG casting news for MP. Specfically it looks like Heather Locklear will be back as Amanda Woodward (working with Ella!) and Ashlee Simpson-Wentz (eee!) and Colin Egglesfield will be exiting the show soon as Violet and Auggie. Any bets on how those two leave? Murder-suicide? Romantic getaway that never ends? Jail? What do you guys think?

Next week: Ella kisses Jonah. I don't really get those two.

90210- "Women's Intuition" Who is naming these episodes?!!

2009-11-04T14:44:00.005-05:00

So, since I already uploaded that horrific picture of Annie and Jasper, let's just start there. They are just so awful I cannot even describe it. Shanae Grimes was 'facing it up' (copyright me, 2009) so much that I couldn't even begin to ignore it. The episode started with some horrible 'acting' (and there were some crazy faces made my friends, let me tell you.) and just went downhill from there. She was mean to Navid but yet still kind of believed him that Jasper was a drug dealer, confronted Jasper BEFORE lunch, causing the loss of some delicious looking hot dogs, and then showed up behind the Hollywood sign and pathetically begged for forgiveness. When these two kiss, all I can say is "Eww."

(There were so many women begging men for forgiveness on the CW last night that it started to make me feel a little squeamish. I think we should have only one woman balling and begging a night. Maybe I could get behind a one-per-show type of limit, but I don't know.)

While we are discussing awfulness, we might as well talk about Jen, who is queen of awfulness. (I cannot believe Pharell was nice to her at that weird adult/teenager party with famous-ish people like Samantha Ronson they were at. Why do the adults on this show sleep with/go to the same places as/spend any time with all these teenagers? I mean even when you were 22, would you really want to sleep with a high schooler? It's weird. Though someone who shall remain nameless did say last night, "Seriously though, if high schoolers looked like Liam, I would sleep with them." Which is totally understandable and not weird, because the guy who plays Liam is 26, so don't get all uptight about it people!!) Anyway, she was terrible, being mean to chicks Ryan was trying to date, ruining Ryan and Liam's adorable student/teacher relationship (he called him "One of my favorite students"!! Aww!") and just generally being awful. PLEASE let whatever Liam has under that tarp be a freakin' Jen killing machine. PLEASE.

So those were the terrible things! Awesome things coming up!

Deb totally knew Sasha was faking that pregnancy from moment one! Go Deb! Now you just have to parent that other kid who is a bum killing booby flasher that dates a drug dealer!

Oh Dixon, I almost kind of liked you and felt bad for you for five minutes tonight. You're still kind of a jerk though, let's be honest.

I'm kind of with Harry on the "We should tell Dixon that crazy woman was faking a pregnancy to keep him" thing. Not having that info could be a problem in the future I think.

Liam and Ivy! Super cute! They might not want something serious yet, but I want them to be together forever, get married and have little surfing babies. Yeah, I said it.

Teddy, Liam and Ivy- best group of BFF's ever. I like every single one of them better than any of the original cast members from last season. Well everyone besides Navid. That dude is pretty cool.

Liam always looks at blueprints when he's sad. Blueprints of a JEN KILLING MACHINE perhaps?

Poor Adrianna. Her serenading Navid and falling deeper and deeper into depression really got me. I would have taken her back in a second! Navid is so much more mature than I am.

I'm actually getting kind of excited thinking about when Ryan finds out what a sociopath Jen is. I am sure he will be totally self-righteous about the whole thing. I just hope he feels REALLY stupid about not seeing through her.

Liam loves N.E.R.D.! Cute!

Liam is always too slow too react. Whenever someone is mean to him he never explains himself he just stands there staring. I really want to believe he's planning his revenge, but I'm not so sure... Now we know why he and Teddy get along so well.

I wish that after I went through a terrible break-up, Samantha Ronson had been there to tell me to go and flirt. I think really gave Navid the boost he needed there!

Jasper bought a cool car with that drug dealer money, I will at least give him that.

Next week:
Annie wants to sleep with Jasper. Gross.
Jasper deals to Adrianna and Navid wants to take him down! Yay Navid!

Heroes-Reminding me why I liked this show...

2009-11-04T12:27:00.003-05:00

Remember Charlie, and how cute she was?

Remember how cute Hiro and she were?

Remember when we thought that Future-Hiro was going to be awesome and tough?

Remember when Sylar was all cool and scary?

Remember when HRG was bad-ass and not a pathetic shell of a man?

Well I kind of forgot about all these things, mostly because so much insane crap has happened on this show in the past 3 years, and so many timelines have been changed that I have no idea what really went on and what didn't anymore. For example, I totally forgot that Hiro actually believes that Sylar is dead when he was telling him about how he would die.

So basically we learned that 3 years ago HRG almost cheated on Sandra with Elisabeth "Is this because I'm a lesbian" Rohm, but decided not to because he loves Claire. Poor Sandra. I mean maybe I am being unrealistic, but no one wants her husband to tell the woman he was about to cheat on her with "I can't because I love my family". Cause let's be honest here, he was about to cheat on her, so that doesn't say much for how he's feeling about Sandra, and no one loves Lyle, so it was obviously just about Claire-Bear. Well thanks Heroes for showing us that HRG is a multifaceted, complex man whose actions are often morally ambiguous. It's not like you don't show me that EVERY OTHER WEEK. So thanks again then.

The thing is though, this week was kind of enjoyable (minus most of the HRG stuff, I have to say.) I liked the Hiro figuring out how to preserve the time-line AND save Charlie, and I even felt like the ending, if thoroughly unsatisfying (poor Charlie!), was a pretty good twist. BUT I feel like I was into the show because it was the show from 2006, and every time the 2009 part of the show intruded (I'm looking at you, Carny guy) I was disappointed we couldn't just stay in this time-line forever. I think I would watch a show about Charlie and Hiro on vacation in Otsu every week if it would keep me from EVER having to watch the Parkman/Sylar comedy hour ever again.

Things I am actually interested in:

Will anything have changed in the present for Hiro or any of our other characters?

Will we ever see Charlie again (remember Peter's girlfriend that got stuck in the future!?)

Now that he and Sandra are divorced, is HRG going to hit it with the other agent that liked him so much she Hatianed her feelings for him away?! (If she's still alive. What happened to all the people who worked for The Company anyway? I am not saying it wasn't explained at some point, but I literally have NO idea what went on.)

Um, the Carny killed Mohinder?!!!! Okay, I'm kind of intrigued by that.
Will I ever find out more about Lydia's daughter from those Sprint, "Slow Burn" commericals?!! (Just kidding, no one cares about that.)

Can we just all get to the carnival already, if that is where this is leading?

Next week:
Parkman's on. Great.

It's Never Over: Mad Men, Season 3 Episode 12, The Grown-Ups

2009-11-03T09:32:00.011-05:00

The Kennedy assassination has hung over Mad Men like a spectre this season. As soon as we saw the date November 23, 1963 (the day after the assassination) on Margaret's wedding invitation we knew there would be an episode dealing with this huge event in history. Matthew Weiner had actually said at one point during the second season that he didn't feel like he had anything to add to the story of the Kennedy Assassination, but a man is entitled to change his mind, right?! And change his mind he did. The entire season was building to this moment, and even though I feel it was a slow (and oh my god so depressing) episode, it was a major game changer plot wise for many characters.

The Don and Betty storyline just broke my heart in so many ways. When Betty looked at Don and told him "And then you tried to fix it. But there's no point anymore...", it just killed me. The Don of this episode was almost an entirely different person than the man we had come to know, and honestly he seemed entirely better. His face looked open, hungry and full of love for his wife. When he tells her 'everything is going to be okay', it's because he believes it. He believes that she loves him for who he really is, something he never though possible. He is stretching out and getting comfortable in this new life, this life without lies, just trying to gloss over all of the damage he has done to Betty. He is a master at forgetting, and he is ready to forget all the pain he has caused with his lies and his cheating and start a newer, more honest life with his family. And even though that is ridiculous, selfish, and even a little crazy, I just couldn't help wanting it for him as well.

What made Betty realize that she was done? Was she done already, and just letting the whole Dick Whitman thing blow over before she left? Was it the death of the president, seeing the Oswald shot or feeling the despair that came over the nation after these events? Or was it simply seeing someone she wanted more, and having Henry Francis tell her he just wants to take her to see her favorite movie (and MARRY her?!! speaking of crazy...). Even though it is hard not be sympathetic to a woman who has been cheated on and lied to throughout most of her marriage, there is still a part of me that feels like Betty is a petulant child, not making any kind of measured decisions but just deciding on a whim that she doesn't love Don, that even with him trying, she can't make it work.

It doesn't help Betty that Jon Hamm has been playing Don with an openness we have only rarely seen from this character. That look of fear on his face when Betty tells him she is going out for a drive, and the look of love he gives her at the wedding just had me melting. You know a guy is good when he can make you feel bad for a lying womanizer like Don.

This episode also brought big changes for Pete. He is ready to move on from Sterling-Cooper it seems. Oh Pete. Hated him, wanted to like him, kind of started to like him, hated him again and now...kinda had some affection for him again. That is a long winded way of saying that he is an incredibly complex character, and I think Weiner and Co. as well as Vincent Karthheiser do a great job bringing him to life. I really love that Pete's downfall is being too attentive to his clients, because he is such a weird robot human that of course that's what it would be! As we see when he is fixing the secretary's heater, Ken is just a naturally, genuinely nice guy, whereas it is just so hard for Pete to figure out how to be nice, how to be likeable, and he just reeks of trying to hard. I thought the scenes of he and Trudy were interesting because they showed their relationship as it is (she's poor little Petey's Mummy most of the time) but how on some level that works for them. Pete does need someone to take care of him and Trudy doesn't seem to mind doing it. At least for now. He might want to leave Sterling Cooper for Gray, but he won't do it until she suggests it. Maybe that is how Trudy can abide by his cheating (what she knows of it), because she holds the true power in their relationship.

And then there was Roger. The Roger story got me on a lot of levels. Roger was in it, for one, so I was pretty happy about that. I just loved the speech he made his daughter's wedding. Roger Sterling is a man who knows how to make toasts, you have got to say that for him. I like that he made going on with the wedding feel like a triumph instead of an act of stubbornness, or apathy towards the national tragedy. That guy is such a charming rogue! I can't help but love him. And of course, his call to Joan, his need to talk to her and his acknowledgement that "No one else is saying the right thing about this." Call me a romantic, or a fool, but I still love the idea of Joan and Roger together. She had his number right away. She knew he had found something that he just didn't know how to deal with by himself. "Because there's nothing funny about this." It is interesting that when talking to Annabel about Jane Roger said "I finally found a girl who doesn't care about the future." He loves Jane because she's not a grown up and doesn't expect him to be one. He can't have that with Mona or with Joan, but maybe now that he's carrying his drunken child bride out of his daughter's wedding, he realizes that he doesn't want it as much as he thought?

Stray thoughts:

-Loved Margaret's temper tantrums, and the fact that she was crying "It's all ruined" after the assassination.

-I think I'm in love with Mona, and I cannot believe Roger would leave her for Jane. Joan, sure.

-I hope Harry Crane does die unnoticed in that office! This season has certainly shown us what a complete dolt that guy is.

-Sometimes this episode was a little slow, having us watch people watch people watch TV and react to a situation. There were a few great moments pulled from that though, I especially liked Carla sitting down next to a sobbing Betty, taking out a cigarette and crying. A little of the facade she keeps up at work went away there.

-Henry Francis- Is he going to be as disappointed as Don when Betty can't live up to her "perfect woman" image?

-This was definitely an episode about the end of an era. The world is passing "The Grown-Ups" by, Roger, Don, etc. and they don't even know it yet.

-It was really sweet when Sally comforted her crying mother after the President was declared dead. Another instance of the children taking care of the grown-ups.

-There is always a lot of talk about how Betty and Pete are parallel characters, both overgrown children. I'll be interested to see if either of them keeps to the decision they made in this episode.

-I'm pretty sure that Peggy was just as disturbed as I was at the fact that Duck kept the news of the president's assassination from her until after they had sex. That's real class.

Next week: Season finale! I'm ready.

Heroes-It's another double post, because I can't bring myself to watch this every week.

2009-10-28T14:27:00.010-04:00

So I finally watched the last two episodes of Heroes. What happened? Here goes!

Sylar/Nathan/Gabriel- Did a lot of looking good, showing off his chest, flirting with Lydia and being confused in the first episode. The show also did something with him that I find utterly confusing, which was to show pretty definitively that the only memories he can actually recover are Nathan's, making it seem like Sylar is most definitely out of his own body and in Matt's mind, BUT then, they had Nathan/Sylar remember things that Sylar did and some Rasta guy projected them onto some mirrors or something. So which is it? Is he in himself or Matt? Or both? Or have you just really not thought this out much? In the second ep there was just a protracted battle with stupid Matt over his body, which of course Sylar was going to win, because Matt is just so so stupid it hurts me to watch him. Zachary Quinto was smoking hot in these two eps though, during the carnival parts especially.

Matt- See above. Got totally tricked by Sylar, now we are having this weird Quantum Leap thing where he's in the mirror and Sylar is in his body or something. I don't even know. I hate him.

Hiro- Showed up in Peter's apartment, all dying and stuff. Peter went off on a trip to save him, cause that's what Peter does, he saves people! He'll probably add a clipping about this to his shrine to himself, even if he has to write it himself! Anyway, after being predictably childlike and helping Deaf Emma accept her powers and whatnot, he traveled back in time to stop Charlie from getting killed by Sylar.

Peter- I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that he is pretty annoyed that he teleported to Ohio with HRG, got shot in the chest and then healed by some healer/killer kid, and then flew back to NYC all to get the healing power and heal Hiro, and when he gets there, Hiro had gone back in time. I would be pissed! He's gonna have to wait god knows how long for his "Hero paramedic saves childish Japanese man" headline now!

Claire- Though the whole horror/sorority hazing thing was kind of boring, I think this storyline has had the best payoff all season so far! We actually moved forward with the whole invisible girl is trying to get you plot, Claire's ability was revealed to some stereotypically idiotic college girls AND she admitted she liked Gretchen and maybe liked her "that way"! College lesbian love story here we come!

HRG/Tracy- These two had the tragic story of the last episode, with them trying to save the poor killer/healer teen and then it ending up that the kid gets dragged to death on the back of a pick up truck. It was pretty sad, and it of course led to Tracy telling HRG "Don't ever call me again", because if there's one thing you can always count on Heroes for, it's giving you a promising team up with good chemistry and then blowing it up one episode in. Tracy was also visited by Samuel, the Carny dude, and kind of sort of convinced that maybe she wanted to join his Carnival of People with Abilities Who Do Crazy Tricks and Manual Labor. HRG, as usual, was left alone and despondent, because apparently he can never be happy, even though he is the most tolerable character on the show. Maybe that's why! Maybe watching him constantly suffer makes me like him more or something. I don't know, I hope he calls Claire when he gets home, because they seem to be getting along okay these days.

Samuel the Carny guy- wants to turn Nathan/Sylar/Gabriel back into just plan Sylar, because apparently he did not read enough about him to know that when he is Sylar he is a remorseless serial killer of people with abilities, so he will probably just saw the heads of Samuel and all of his friends/employees and get lots of new powers and be psyched about it! Come to think of it, I can't wait until this happens.

Oh and Mohinder got a mention! I told you guys he wasn't dead!

The End of The World As We Know It: Mad Men, Season 3, Episode 11, The Gypsy and the Hobo

2009-10-27T10:41:00.010-04:00

It happened. The thing Don Draper has been been fearing since the day he took that name, since the day he got married, since the day he got his job, since the day his first child was born, that thing happened. Betty, the person from which he has been hiding so much, found out who he really was. She threw his real identity out in the open, exposed it to the light and...comforted him. She saw that her husband, both the man he was and the man she thought he was had been destroyed, and that someone new was being reborn in front of her. She saw that by exposing Dick Whitman she was effectively killing Don Draper. So she put her arm around him and watched him go.

This was a packed episode, but the long scenes between Don and Betty where he confesses everything (or almost everything...there was an accident? they made a mistake? hmm. so close.) to her were the heart of the show this week. Both Jon Hamm and January Jones gave amazing performances in these scenes, with Jones capturing Betty as a cool, calm, angry interrogator, and Hamm showing us Don Draper deteriorating before our eyes. When Betty says "You know I know what's in that drawer!" Hamm's face told us everything. He didn't know, and he is flat out terrified about what this means for his life. But instead of reaching for a story or running to the door, he sits, and he tells her. That his life is a lie, "a lie so big" that he cannot even light his own cigarette as he prepares to explain it. This is the thing he feared. This is was supposed to be the worst day of his life, but strangely, he sleeps soundly after the confrontation. Could unburdening himself to Betty bring down the walls between them? Could she learn to love this new man, who's life and past has now been revealed to her? Shockingly to Don, Betty learning the truth about him does not end their marriage, or his life. At least not yet. Maybe she is figuring out what to do next, maybe she is waiting to see what he'll do next, or maybe she is going to try and find out what it is like to be married to someone new, someone who is not a total mystery to her anymore.

Throughout these intense scenes, there is another layer of suspense because we the viewers know that Suzanne Farrell is waiting in the car for Don to return so they can go on a trip! I think Don forgets about her the moment he realizes Betty knows, but we never do! When poor Suzanne finally slinks away in the night, I feel I may have misjudged her. Maybe she's not a woman on the verge, maybe she is just a different kind of woman. Someone kind and sweet and peace-loving and unconventional stuck in a time when none of that was what someone looked for in a woman. Or a person. She might just be a woman ahead of her time, who really wants to know if Don's okay, and who really believes that she can enter into an affair with a married man and not form an attachment. We'll see if she proves me wrong and goes totally cuckoo, but I kind of wonder if Matthew Weiner created this character to challenge not just the expectations of the characters, but the expectations of the viewers.

I loved the scenes of the family trick or treating at the end. Even if Carlton's question was a little too on the nose "And what are you supposed to be?" it highlighted for the viewers the shift in paradigm they are about to see. Now that our protagonist has lost his Don Draper identity at home, who is he going to be now? He can't be the same man he was before with Betty, so can he be a new man there and the old Don Draper at work? Or will there be a new identity in both places? The question is asked, because Don doesn't know the answer yet. Can he become the kind of loving husband and father he wants to be now that he is freed of his past? Can he share the power of the household with his wife? And if he can't, what is to become of him now that she knows? I absolutely cannot wait to see the last two episodes of the season to find out.

There were two other amazing plots this week that I would be remiss if I didn't talk about. They featured two of my fave characters on the show Roger and Joan. I loved learning more about Roger's past, and seeing him act like a wise and mature man. There was a moment where I kind of wanted him to cheat on his 20 year old wife with the more age appropriate Annabell, but in the end I am glad that he did the right thing. I am not so sure though, that when he told Annabell she wasn't the one, that he was thinking of his young wife Jane. Staying late and making phone calls on Joan's behalf is really not something I see Roger doing for just any old fling. And when he tells his buddy, "she's important to me" you can tell that he really really means it.

(ROGER AND JOAN FOREVA!!)

It was incredibly satisfying to see Joan hit her rapist husband over the head with that vase, even if his line was again, a little too 'on the nose' for me. Christina Hendricks' face after he told her she didn't know what it was like to work for something for her whole life and not get it sold it for me. So what will become of Dr. Greg now? Will he die in Vietnam? Will he come back a broken man that Joan has to take care of for the rest of her life? Nothing about this story makes me think there will be any kind of happy ending for Joan, and it is so awful to see such a smart, beautiful, capable woman tied to a Neanderthal and trapped in this situation. Maybe my lame little girl fantasies of her and Roger finding thier way back to one another will come true, but that isn't really how this show works, so she'll probably be trapped in this hell forever.

Two episodes left people! I can't wait.

Melrose Place "Windsor" Ok, did I miss what significance the title has?

2009-10-21T18:45:00.003-04:00

Ok Melrose Place, somehow you got me a little bit on this, for reasons I can't fully explain. I mean we had Jo, being mean to Riley in the most transparent "I am unsatisfied with my life choices so I am going to berate you about yours" tantrum I have ever seen, Riley being a total baby about the whole thing, and Ella in some ridiculous hat for the entire episode, but somehow, I still found it a little bit compelling.

The whole Jo (Daphne Zuniga) thing was kind of silly, as any sane person (including Ella (Katie Cassidy)) was pretty much like, "This bitch has gone crazy." Then it all comes back to the fact that she thinks she is a sell-out, so it totally makes sense that she would decide that Riley is a sell-out for being a teacher. Cause that makes sense. On about 0 levels. How can you be "selling-out" by taking a job for no money? Or by trying modeling one time? Nothing she said about Riley made any sense whatsoever.

But of course, Riley (Jessica Lucas) dumbly took to heart, because she is dumb. So now she is all ready to dump her fiance because this insane photographer chick told her that after she left her fiance 100 years ago, "That's when my life really began.." Ok. Sure. Maybe that is true, but why are people giving and taking advice from people they just met and know nothing about?! This is a really dumb way to put doubt in Riley's mind about her and Jonah getting married.

The whole Auggie (Colin Egglesfield) coming between them makes a little more sense, and I liked Jonah (Michael Rady) connecting with the movie exec from Philly or whatever. The Jonah/Auggie confrontation was a little weird, as they acted and it was scored as if they were talking about finding out that someone had murdered someone else, not that someone had drunkenly kissed someone else. Also, I feel like a good friend would have texted Riley to give her the heads up on that little "She kissed me!" slip.

I don't really get how everyone relates to everyone else. Sometimes it seems like they are supposed to be friends (Lauren being INCREDIBLY, like to the degree of a stalker, worried about David's activities is an example), but other times I just don't see some of the characters being even friendly. Like Ella and Riley seem to actively dislike each other, Auggie and Jonah don't strike me as friends, and David doesn't seem to be friends with Jonah or Riley at all...I don't know, like are they all longtime friends, just neighbors, some are friends and other aren't? I don't know. MAKE IT CLEARER PLEASE.

I can't really believe Lauren (Stephanie Jacobsen) the hooker was so judgmental and crazy about David (Sean Sipos) stealing. You are a hooker! You can't take his money because it is stolen, but you have no problem whoring yourself out for it?!! 'Where does your moral compass point' indeed woman!

Violet (Ashlee Simpson-Wentz), stop being so clearly insane. People are starting to notice. Not Auggie though, so keep crushing on him like the weirdo that you are.

Ella, why did you wear that insanely ridiculous outfit to the photo shoot? Did you lose some kind of bet? Were you hoping that you would take Riley out with it or something?

Jonah, do you really think that some big time movie producer is just going to remake your movie as is? Are you that naive that you think that you won't have to compromise yourself even the teeniest bit to become a millionaire? Oh well a hot girl told you that you wouldn't have to, so I am sure you won't now. Have fun living in Pretend-land dude!

I love that we had another "I totally used to live here, how weird!" moment.

So as you can see I can't explain it all, but for once I had no problem paying attention to this show AND I was kind of interested to see what happened! Who knows why, tighter editing or something? I really don't know.

And now I have to wait until November 3rd for another episode. Unwise Melrose Place!

90210-"Unmasked" This title has very little to do with the contents of the episode.

2009-10-21T13:47:00.005-04:00

So two things made this episode of 90210 about 100 times more awesome than the last one.

1. No Jen
2. Yes Liam!

My love of Liam is no secret, and even though his story line was incredibly obvious and a little dumb, it still made me happy. Here are things I loved about it:

-Liam was onscreen a lot. Getting all angry-hot and stuff.

-He wasn't whining about Naomi, who let's be honest, is pretty annoying most of the time.

-Ivy seems cool, surfs and is a feminist, so now I can't wait for their inevitable (next week?!!) "OMG I thought of you as just a friend but now I see we are MEANT for each other.

-The non-Halloween costume jokes were a thing of beauty. My favorite had to be: "You're Pattinson, right? I can tell cause your hair is messy."

So Liam/Ivy gets my seal of approval. Though why he wouldn't take her money in the beginning after he hits her completely baffles me. She hit your car! Take her money man, don't just rage out like a psycho!

Speaking of psychos, it could not be clearer that Jasper is one. We had like two or three Annie/Jasper scenes, and when the second one came up I was like "Oh, I forgot about these two!" Annie is dumb, I can't wait for her to get arrested for stealing that Bentley. She actually fell for the line "You're my muse babe." Eww. I think the reason I stopped noticing her weird face-making is because I stopped paying attention to her stupid storyline.

Speaking of weird face making, Naomi is all over that this week! She looked like she actually was miming eating that Jamie guy in her first, and then kept getting all shaky faced whenever he around. Subtlety, they name is not AnnaLynn McCord. Glad she dumped that annoying environmentalist guy and is now trying to get over Liam with a guy whose thighs "countries would go to war over." He's no Liam though, come on!

I did like that Naomi and Adrianna were all worried about Silver taking care of her cancerous (in more ways than 1) mom, and the payoff of Naomi spilling to Teddy was good. Of course Teddy and Silver are totally going to fall in love now, bonding over cancer-mom. Adrianna is going to be SO PISSED.

I kind of love Teddy I think. He's so dumb, it cannot NOT be endearing.

And now onto my two least fave storylines:

1. Harry/Deb/Kelly

-Deb you are crazy.

-Harry you are dumb.

-Kelly you are transparent. (but your hair looked great in that first scene with Silver!)

Also, Harry and Deb you are the WORST "good parents" I have ever seen! Your daughter has had a total personality change, been the victim of a sext and stopped being friends with your son, who sneaks out at night and acts like a jerk all the time. And all you guys can talk about is whether fricken Kelly has a crush on Harry? Really?
You suck.

2. Sasha/Dixon

(I absolutely love that the only pics I could find of Dixon he is wearing this.)

They can't have another pregnancy on this show so fast, could they? I mean she referenced Dawson's Creek, so that puts her squarely in the 26-29 age range. This is a person who is dating someone in high school, 10 years younger than her, and was being totally controlling and weird to him. So I think she has definitely been shown to be someone who would fake a pregnancy to keep her high school boy toy. Right? I am so glad this is all blowing up in Dixon's face though, because he is a jerk.

Next week: Liam + Ivy = LOVE. Also, Navid. I missed him this week.

Days of Sink or Swim: Mad Men Season 3, Episode 10, "The Color Blue"

2009-10-20T11:07:00.006-04:00

Sorry about missing the last two eps! I am hoping to get to them at some point, but I figured I would do this week's episode relatively on time while I still had the chance. (I was sick, in a wedding, went to NYC...excuses excuses...)

I love to be able to agree with Roger, and when he told Don in the last episode that he was in over his head, he couldn't have been more right.

Don is getting sloppy, in his personal life and his work life. Last season, everything he touched was gold, and he seemed to have a preternatural ability to know what people wanted to hear and how to handle almost everyone. This season, Don is lost about how to deal with Hilton, too preoccupied with his own need for Hilton's approval to understand how to deal with this kind of eccentric. Now that he is tied to his work life by a contract and his home life by an infant, you can see him chafing. By hiding the $5,000 signing bonus in his 'secret drawer', he is letting himself believe, just the tiniest bit, that he could run if he wanted to.

But deep down he knows he can't run. And he's getting reckless. The affair with the teacher seems to be doomed from the start, with both of them running wild eyed at each other. He wants her, and that makes this affair a little more dangerous than the ones we've seen before. Bobbi, Rachel, Midge...these women wanted him first, and were clear about it. Ms. Farrell played just that little bit hard to get and drew him in, and now he seems hooked, despite her off kilter behavior. The first scene between them revealed something kind of interesting about Don that I don't think we've seen too much of before. Even though he seems so intelligent, so worldly most of the time, he was so easily drawn into her silly, stoner questions about the color of blue, spinning it into the beautiful Don Draper prose in no time. "People may see things differently, but they don't really want to." Don sees the shallow, silly conversation with Ms. Farrell as one with some kind of depth, even though, as my friend Eric put it "She gets her wisdom from 8 year olds." There is something about her that is fascinating to him, and maybe it just the answer to the question he asked her in last week's ep..."Who are you?"

Don's old tricks aren't working at work, and they aren't working at home either. The baby's cries interrupt him and cause him to leave the key to his drawer of secrets (one should not have those!) where Betty can find it. I love the scene where Betty finds the box, trying desperately to use these items to put together some of the mystery of the man she is married to. As she waits for him to come home and face her confrontation, she loses more and more of her will to fight him, to stand for the lies he will surely tell to cover all this. So she becomes "pretty mommy", his radiant wife, and watches him lap up all the praise at the Sterling-Cooper 40th. He is happy, or at least he looks happy, and Betty sees the chance to know him slipping away, replaced, for now, with the chance to be him. To look as if you are someone entirely different than who you are on the inside, to have all the money, all the praise, to have everything. For all of the other characters on the show, Don is the person want to be. He has it all, and it seems to come so easy to him. He hides his deep unhappiness so well, and only shows the world, even his wife, his attractive facade.

Other thoughts:

Paul vs. Peggy: I think Paul realized that Peggy is incredibly talented at what she does, and unfortunately for him, far more talented than he is. He is a man with a big ego, but maybe he will try to learn from her instead of trying to take her down...we'll see how smart he is.

Don and Ms. Farrell's brother: Shades of his own brother, Adam? "I swore to myself I'd do this right once." Of course he sympathized with the kid's need to run away. "It seems bad now, but you can still change things." Does Don think this is still true?

Roger's mother thinking Jane was his daughter, Margaret was great. "Does Mona know?" Jane seemed so annoyed.

Bert Cooper looked so fragile in this episode! I loved the exchange between he and Layne- "Who told you I was vain?"

Even after the Brits decide to sell the company he has worked so hard to improve and his wife makes fun of his utter devotion to his bosses, Layne still does their bidding and gets Bert Cooper to the party. A company man for life?

How does Lois still have a job?! She cut a man's foot off drunkenly driving a lawnmower!

Next week:

Joan! Yay!

Only three episodes, left, so I better see more Sal soon!

Melrose Place-Doctor, hookers and art thieves and I'm still no that into it!

2009-10-15T14:34:00.003-04:00

I shall apologize for my late post, I am recovering from being sick AND being in a wedding, so, you understand, I am sure.

We get a lot of Michael Mancini this week, which I'm not complaining about really, but it just wasn't as awesome as I want it to be. That is pretty much how I feel about every episode of this show, so I won't blame the good Dr. for it. So what did we learn about our illustrious cardiac specialist this week?

-He's married to Bruce Willis's ex-girlfriend, Brooke Burns, who is a beautiful woman, but for some reason really freaks me out. Her face has haunted my nightmares since the first time I saw it. So needless to say, I am not enthused about this development.

-He's controlling and weird with David (telling Lauren he has to report how he got all beat up to him AS SOON as she knows) yet knows the dude is some kind of jewel/art thief and seems to be pretty cool with it.

-Has a weakness for crazy redheads. (But who doesn't on this show?!)

-Has son with freaky face wife, wife doesn't seem to be to into the kid. So they're both good parents! No wonder his other kid is an art thief! That's aiming high with these people's parenting techniques! At least thieving art takes some skills!

This week, Michael had the misfortune to meet with Sydney's insane possible daughter, Violet. I know Violet is insane, and I have to admit I am getting that from Ashlee Simpson-Wentz's performance...but I think she's playing it a tad...campy shall we say?

So now Violet is going to destroy Michael with their sex tape. I have to imagine that if freaky face Brooke Burns knows her husband at all, she knows he's cheating on her at every opportunity. Bummer for her if not.

Two more things about Violet:

-Faking a heart problem with Red Bull? How is she not the murderer?!

-It is gross that now Sydney has done Micheal's son and Michael has done Sydney's daughter. Now if Violet just does David a disgusting circle of life will be complete.

So we know Michael is Sydney's former husband/lover, David's dad, Violet's conquest, AND he is Lauren's boss! What a small world the people of Melrose Place live in. Do you think he was ever like, "Oh weird Lauren you live in MP? I used to live there too! Crazy!" They probably didn't talk about it, he seems pretty serious at work.

So Lauren's still ho-ing it up, and is apparently up for some paid orgies (to prove she doesn't have a "versatility problem" as Kimber the madam puts it), but is not up for being caught by David. Are these two kind of into each other? Possibly. I kind of can't be bothered to care though, because two weeks ago it seemed like the little thief and Ella were into each other, so who knows. They are just throwing stuff against the wall and seeing what sticks at this point.

As for the Ella/Jonah/Riley triangle all I really have to say about it is, Ella is awesome, Riley is annoying. I loved it when Ella actually gagged when Jonah and Riley were being all cutesy together. I do not get why every dude, gay or straight, who meets Riley is so completely charmed by her. Jonah's cute though, I have to agree on that.

No movement on the "Who killed Sydney" plot by the way. I guess we got that out of the way last week with all the "Maybe it was Ella!" stuff.

For "Next Week" I'm going straight to my notes: "riley kisses auggie? weird. auggie yells crazy style."

90210- Dumbness abounds.

2009-10-15T10:44:00.006-04:00

Sorry for the late post and for missing last week's ep! Deathly illness + best friends' wedding = no blogging. Sorry 90210!

So, last week on 90210 we found out that Jackie Taylor (Kelly and Silver's mom) has cancer and is dying, and for some weird reason she decided that Adrianna was the best person to confide this to. I guess because they are both in AA? Good thing for her that summer school bond is strong, because she marches over and informs Silver.

Also last week: Sasha found out that stupid Dixon is a teenager and was at first appropriately pissed off and grossed out, and then decided that she wanted to sleep with him one.more.time. I guess we already know that Dixon knows his way around the bedroom, since Silver got his name tattooed on her after sleeping with him one time, but we are shown this fact again when Sasha cannot keep her adult hands off his teenage body. Eww.

This week we are plunged right into the action (or pointless non action) of the whirlwind romance of Annie and the nephew of the guy she thinks she killed, Jasper. This storyline made me ask many questions aloud in the air, such as:

Is Jasper supposed to be creepy? (On the no side, he's a film geek who saves girls from date rapists. On the yes side, he follows people on a date to secluded places, acts like the idea that might have a knife is crazy and then...has a knife.)

Why would Annie believe the word of a guy who took a naked picture of her that she didn't consent to and then showed it around the school?

Who would ever go on a date with a guy who has to say the sentence "I never meant to hurt you with that sext." to you?!!

Will date rapists ever learn a better line than "Don't be a tease"? Girls, if a guy says that to you, hit him in the balls and run. It's a very good chance that he's a date rapist.

Has Shanae Grimes stopped making so many weird faces, or do I just not notice it anymore?

Is Annie the dumbest person on this show? Because something about starting a romance with a maybe-creepy, definitely not well adjusted kid whose uncle you are pretty sure you killed doesn't scream MENSA to me.

Also dumb? Naomi. And Ryan Matthews, teacher of the year. How can these people not see that Jen is SO CLEARLY evil. She could not be more transparent. I mean she actually said to Naomi "This horse is going to make me, I mean, us a lot of money." Doesn't Naomi ever watch TV? Villains and other nefarious types say this kind of thing all the time on Law and Order, old movies and soap operas! Wake up idiots! I know one of you (Ryan) just wants to sleep with her and the other one of you (Naomi) just needs some family love, but this chick is evil. Just kill her or something because I hate her so so much.

The whole Jackie Taylor is dying and trying to be a good mom storyline was pretty good. I can't believe that Kelly is trying to bar Silver from seeing her dying mother. This does not seem to be a good parenting technique with an obviously rebellious teenager. I mean she's wearing one long earring and one little stud! She's edgy Kelly, don't try to keep her down! Prediction: This will go badly for all involved.

And now to the whole Navid/Adrianna breakup: UGH. I once loved them together. So much. And it killed me when Ade just dumped him out of the blue like that! (That'll teach Navid to drone on and on about architecture!) Also, I can't believe she told him she needed "time alone". Time alone = need to do Teddy. Nice, Adrianna, real nice. I find it kind of unrealistic that he wouldn't forgive her though. I mean this is the girl he has loved since fourth grade or something! She said she made a mistake man!! He'll come around.

Teddy is apparently a little bit more of a jerk than I thought! It's one thing to go after another guy's girlfriend because you have real feelings for her, it's another to do it because you want to "have fun" AND THEN tell the guy about it. These lapses could also be attributed to his trademark 'duh duh dumbness'. I am going to trademark that at some point.

Final thoughts:

Of course Dixon won't hug Navid in his time of need. That guy is such a jerk! I think I used to like him.

Eduardo compared Jen to a horse TWICE. Even for someone as horrible as her, that is offensive.

Great line from Naomi re: Jen- "You just threw yourself at some rich guy's feet like it was 1957."

Lovely scene of Ade trying to text Teddy. 'Hmm what flip message about the breakup of my long-term relationship should I send the guy I want to do? I wonder!" Real nice Adrianna.

Aaaand Sasha continues her creepy affair with a high schooler. Gross.

Harry and Kelly continue to want each other? Could this really be going where it seems to be going?

That brief scene between Ryan and Kelly makes me remember that they were pretty cute together. A curse upon Jen!

I pretty much love drunk Harry. Almost as good as stoned Harry! Stop acting like such a loser Ryan! Harry is about 10 times cooler than you!

Camryn Diaz looks decidedly unpretty in the trailer for that movie "The Box". There, I said it.

Definitely not enough Liam in this episode! His mom did make a cake though, and it was nice of him to offer.

Next week: Jerky Dixon does jerky things....and then my DVR cut off.

Heroes- The preview for next week's show looked kind of good, right?

2009-10-14T14:35:00.005-04:00

Sorry for the late double post!

Well, let's just get last week's episode over with first here. Last week:

Hiro spent the entire episode trying to save a guy who habitually copies his butt on the copy machine and gets himself fired. Seriously, that is what happened. That was Hiro's plot. For real.

Tracy/Nikki/Jessica whatever Ali Larter's character is named now found out that sometimes, hot women are only valued for their bodies and not their minds when she tried to get her old job back and her old boss tried to get her into bed.

Nathan/Sylar discovered some convoluted and long forgotten murder/accidental death he was involved in that Angela covered up, tried to make it right, and got shot. Or something. These characters have more back-story than a soap opera villain at this point.

So that was last week. It was terrible.

This week, was unfortunately, not much better, though we did get some actual plot movement on the Carny front, so that's something. Also next week's preview really did look pretty good! Oh Heroes, why do you do this to me?

So what happened anyway?

Well, let's just get this over with, cause I know we are all thinking about it...CLAIRE KISSED A GIRL. Or more accurately, Claire got kissed by a girl. I do not know if she liked it. That was not made clear. Was this is a desperate ratings grab? Maybe. Is the youngest daughter from The Nanny kind of selling it? Yes. Gretchen is a cutie.

The other Claire news was that she joined a sorority, accused Gretchen of murder, and is being totally played by one of the sorority girls (Tessa Thompson, of VERONICA MARS, best show ever!!!) who is secretly an invisible person who works with the Carnies and killed her roommate, made her suspect Gretchen, and is trying to get her to become a Carny too. Too bad she doesn't realize how much Claire wants a normal life. Living with a Carnival doesn't strike me as the kind of nornality Claire is looking for. This chick should just hang around her for like five minutes and then she'll know, Claire just wants TO BE NORMAL.

Speaking of people who just want to be normal, Peter is looking for some kind of human connection, so he invites his mom to his weird dingy apartment for some soup or something. Of course, even when standing in front of the shrine Peter has made for himself, Angela is still talking about Nathan to him. Which to me is no surprise since real Nathan is dead and SylarNathan is missing, but to Peter, just comes off as really annoying and rude. Later, he has few INCREDIBLY drawn out scenes with Emma, the deaf woman who can see sound, where they both see sound together, and he immediately tells her about his abilities yadda yadda. She has some kind of "could have been a doctor but blames herself for someone's death" back-story that I am sure will be illuminated further. Also, she LOVES FILING. So do not diss file clerks to her, ok?!

Then there was Sylar. Or Nathan. Or Gabriel Gray. Or someone else? I guess I don't really get what Heroes wants me to feel about him. Let's review here: He was a misunderstood weirdo who morphed into a merciless serial killer, who thought he found his family and learned to love and feel remorse, who then killed the woman he loved and went back to being a murderer, went on a weird spree with his possible brother to find his evil father, then had the feelings and memories of Nathan Petrelli (who was an ass, let's not forget) forced into his head and now doesn't know who he is and is just a cute little puppy dog who needs to be saved. Or something.

I mean, I LOVE Zachary Quinto. He is way too good for the part, which is one of reasons that it is so hard really hate Sylar. He gives the character layers that the writing does not. At the same time, wouldn't it make sense for me to be totally with Ernie Hudson (Ghostbusters!!) on the whole beat a confession out him thing? Because Sylar has done some pretty awful things. But the show seems to want us to be with the psychiatrist lady and want him to be saved. It doesn't really make sense. I don't love to hate him, I actually kind of like him. But he's an evil serial murderer. IT DOESN"T MAKE SENSE HEROES!!!!

So now, Sylar doesn't know who he is, but he is with the Carnies. And next week looks like it might be cool. But it probably won't be.

A few questions to ruminate on until next week:

Why was there a children's chorus singing the theme song to "The Greatest American Hero" a the hospital?

Why am I supposed to care about Emma?

Why was that scene of her and Peter playing the piano SO INTERMINABLY LONG?

Why were the scenes of Sylar in the police station so dang long?

Has that lady playing the psychiatrist been on Doctor Who or Torchwood or something?

How did I not know that was the little girl from The Nanny until someone told me?

Is Ernie Hudson this hard up for money? What about Ghostbusters 3?

How was I even the tiniest bit sucked into next week's episode after this one?

Was it because there was no Matt Parkman in it?