Heroes is back! And it was kind of alright!

Heroes kicked off the new year with a two hour block of episodes, and some parts of them were actually okay! So instead of just complaining about this show, I am going to point out what I liked about these two episodes, "Upon This Rock" and "Let it Bleed". Then, I'm going to complain.

So, on to the good!

-Claire realized that something is up with Samuel and that he is not all he says he is. I have never seen a character act more obviously nefarious and still be treated as if he seems like a totally nice and normal person. Good job spotting how clearly evil he is Claire! (I'm just going to pretend that she didn''t buy into that whole "creating a beautiful new home with this homeless guy I lured here" thing. Because that would be stupid.)

-Um, I'm glad someone finally told Claire that her bio-Dad is dead.

-Peter's eulogy was really nice and heartfelt, and it almost made me forget the time that Nathan rounded up people with abilities, tortured them and sent them to internment camps. Almost.

-Actual time dedicated to mourning Nathan, who, though a douchebag, still managed to be one of the most interesting characters on the show. Credit really goes to Adrian Pasdar, who gave all of Nathan's thinly written motives and half-assed plans layers that lesser actors could not have managed. Also, that guy could really fill out a suit.

-HRG and Angela admitting that trying to turn Sylar into Nathan was a terrible, terrible plan. It was so terrible I am surprised it wasn't Nathan's idea.

-Claire's awesome "casual superhero in mourning" outfit that she rocked at Nathan's funeral!

-Peter and Claire! Broken up in real life or not, Milo Ventimigila and Hayden Panettiere have great chemistry together! And I am talking "kind of inappropriate for uncle/niece chemistry but still incredibly watchable" here. I have to say that honestly both actors are chemistry machines, and I was happy that the show remembered that these two are the best and most engaging main characters they have. Now if we can just have them in more scenes where they actually talk to each other about feelings and why they are acting totally insane (Listening to the police scanner and trying to foil a 1990's- style office shoot up? You're not Batman Peter!) I could really start getting behind this show again. Seriously people, that is all it would take. Put your two best actors together and have them speak to each other like humans. That's it. Why is that so hard?!!

-Brace yourself here, because you are not even going to believe what I have to say next. Something I liked about these two eps? HIRO and ANDO. I know, I know, that is insane and Hiro is back to being a weird annoying man-child on a "quest" or ten. But there was something kind of fun for a pop culture junkie like me in trying to figure out Hiro's references and what they mean. Plus, Ando is always pretty cute.

-Chuck Season 3 extended promo! It premieres Sunday at 9, watch it if you like really good TV! (WATCH IT)

-No Matt Parkman! Again! Yes!

-That incredibly weird and homoerotic picture of Peter and Nathan that Angela was cradling. It was awesome. Way to honor Peter and Nathan's totally inappropriate chemistry by reminding us that those two brothers always seemed to want to make out. Because they looked like they were about to in that picture.

Okay okay, it was still Heroes, and there was still a bunch of stuff that annoyed the crap out of me, such as:

-Mohinder droning on in the beginning. Even locked in a mental hospital this guy won't shut up!

-Pretty much the entire HRG/Blonde lady/Darth Maul storyline, including it's weird shoehorning of the whole "not trying to throw my liberal agenda in your face but torture is bad" thing. I think everyone besides Dick Cheney is pretty much on board with that these days Heroes, but thanks anyways. Also it had all the hallmarks of an annoying as hell storyline, the most annoying being a potentially awesome team-up that is scuttled before it even begins. What will I do with all my HRG/Darth Maul fanfic now?!

-Emma. Oh Emma, please help Samuel lure some slow homeless guy! Samuel seems like a totally nice and not weird guy, so his crazy request should definitely be carried out! Oh wait, the opposite of that is true. Also she didn't get into med school, and I still don't care.

-Claire being all pissed and surprised that HRG and Angela lied to her...again. She should really just be jaded at this point.

-Claire even considering for five minutes quitting college to lug stuffed animals for these weird carnies.

-Lydia and her completely incomprehensible plan to kill Samuel but somehow protect him at the same time. Or whatever she's doing.

-Lydia creepily throwing herself at Sylar to get info from him.

-Lydia saying to Sylar "You want love, but you're afraid you don't deserve it." GAG.

-Samuel explaining the concept of a "gray character" to Sylar, again, by way of pointing out that they're "not good guys, but not all bad either." Now you know I love Sylar, but he's a remorseless serial killer and Samuel is trying to rule the Earth with his power of dirt control. Maybe they're not all bad, but they're pretty close. Sylar's just hot and funny. Samuel's got nothing. Stop trying to make me feel for these guys.

-Emma has a 'siren song'? Oh please.

--They mentioned Wes. I don't care if seeing Peter fly again was actually kind of poignant, because Wes should be forgotten forever. Can't we be reminded of Claire's cool gay friend or even the underwater kissing guy instead?

-Sylar not killing Samuel.

-Sylar not being badass, again, even though that is how he should be.

-Samuel has a lost love. Do.not.care.

Just an FYI for the kids out there, when someone keeps saying to you, over and over, that something is "your choice" and you are "completely free" they do not mean it. That someone is probably a cult leader or a carnie bent on ruling the world with dirt control. Don't trust him! Or her! Just a little free advice there.

Next week: Sylar is all half Nathan and crap or something! Also, Claire is pissed and Peter is tormented! And carnie stuff, as usual. Sigh.

Heroes-The last two episodes until 2010!

At this point, it is pretty rare for me to be able to understand any character's motivations at all. I spend most of my Heroes watching time cringing and spouting out better solutions to these people's problems, or trying to explain their stupidity away, saying things like "Well I guess I can understand where Peter is coming from, I mean he just found out his brother is dead and all..." Also, I can never bring myself to watch it on time, obviously.

Let's just start with "Thanksgiving":

-Everyone on this show needs an interior decorator. Do all the Heroes have to live in the most drab, depressing places imaginable?

-Oooh it's that blonde woman who likes Bennet again! If this show needs anything, it's definitely MORE characters.

-Awkward Thanksgivings all around. Sandra brings her boyfriend. H.R.G stalks the blonde; invites her to the worst Thanksgiving ever. Claire threatens to quit school. Over at the Petrelli's, Angela lies, threatens and generally stomps around like a child before admitting that Nathan is both dead and Sylar, then Sylar eats all the pie. Seriously.

-At the Carny Thanksgiving, Hiro time travels to when Samuel killed Joseph, showing Lydia, instead of time traveling to when Samuel took Charlie and saving her. Okay. Sure. Not exactly what I would do in that situation, but really, who am I to judge?

-Claire stole the compass and then she and Gretchen went on a ROAD TRIP! You are an idiot Claire.

"The Fifth Stage" marked the last episode of Adrian Pasdar (one of the few actors on this show to combine being hot with being a good actor) as Nathan Petrelli. He and Peter had a scene which was supposed to be gut wrenching but just seemed completely ridiculous because of what had come before. (Namely, Peter running around trying to make Sylar become his dead brother, taking away all his powers and then not killing him. I know we want to keep Zach Quinto on the show, but man, the reasons for not killing Sylar are getting ridic.) Then he fell off a building for what seemed like ever,became Sylar and walked away. So, good plan Peter. Real good plan.

Meanwhile, Nathan's bio-daughter, who has no idea that he's dead and seems completely unconcerned with her bio-family at this point anyway, was conned and joined the Carnival with Samuel. I don't think it could have been more clear that Claire was being snowed, and I can only hope Gretchen's decision to weirdly accept Claire's terrible choice just means she is driving straight to H.R.G.'s and getting his help.

H.R.G. and that blonde woman worked on finding Claire and on their own relationship issues. I like H.R.G. being with someone who actually likes him and is nice to him. I am sure the writers are working on that as we speak, and it will be all ruined in January.

The closing montage reminded me of that lame Emma woman, and let me know that apparenly Hiro, Ando and Mohinder are running around in a jungle or something. Even though last we saw Hiro he was trying to save Charlie, the last we saw Ando he was about to marry Hiro's sister and the last we saw of Mohinder he was in a straitjacket in a padded room, I'm not even wondering why or how. I just don't care.

Heroes will return in January. At least I think it will.

-

Heroes-Reminding me why I liked this show...

Remember Charlie, and how cute she was?

Remember how cute Hiro and she were?

Remember when we thought that Future-Hiro was going to be awesome and tough?

Remember when Sylar was all cool and scary?

Remember when HRG was bad-ass and not a pathetic shell of a man?

Well I kind of forgot about all these things, mostly because so much insane crap has happened on this show in the past 3 years, and so many timelines have been changed that I have no idea what really went on and what didn't anymore. For example, I totally forgot that Hiro actually believes that Sylar is dead when he was telling him about how he would die.

So basically we learned that 3 years ago HRG almost cheated on Sandra with Elisabeth "Is this because I'm a lesbian" Rohm, but decided not to because he loves Claire. Poor Sandra. I mean maybe I am being unrealistic, but no one wants her husband to tell the woman he was about to cheat on her with "I can't because I love my family". Cause let's be honest here, he was about to cheat on her, so that doesn't say much for how he's feeling about Sandra, and no one loves Lyle, so it was obviously just about Claire-Bear. Well thanks Heroes for showing us that HRG is a multifaceted, complex man whose actions are often morally ambiguous. It's not like you don't show me that EVERY OTHER WEEK. So thanks again then.

The thing is though, this week was kind of enjoyable (minus most of the HRG stuff, I have to say.) I liked the Hiro figuring out how to preserve the time-line AND save Charlie, and I even felt like the ending, if thoroughly unsatisfying (poor Charlie!), was a pretty good twist. BUT I feel like I was into the show because it was the show from 2006, and every time the 2009 part of the show intruded (I'm looking at you, Carny guy) I was disappointed we couldn't just stay in this time-line forever. I think I would watch a show about Charlie and Hiro on vacation in Otsu every week if it would keep me from EVER having to watch the Parkman/Sylar comedy hour ever again.

Things I am actually interested in:

Will anything have changed in the present for Hiro or any of our other characters?

Will we ever see Charlie again (remember Peter's girlfriend that got stuck in the future!?)

Now that he and Sandra are divorced, is HRG going to hit it with the other agent that liked him so much she Hatianed her feelings for him away?! (If she's still alive. What happened to all the people who worked for The Company anyway? I am not saying it wasn't explained at some point, but I literally have NO idea what went on.)

Um, the Carny killed Mohinder?!!!! Okay, I'm kind of intrigued by that.

Will I ever find out more about Lydia's daughter from those Sprint, "Slow Burn" commericals?!! (Just kidding, no one cares about that.)

Can we just all get to the carnival already, if that is where this is leading?

Next week:
Parkman's on. Great.

Heroes-It's another double post, because I can't bring myself to watch this every week.

So I finally watched the last two episodes of Heroes. What happened? Here goes!

Sylar/Nathan/Gabriel- Did a lot of looking good, showing off his chest, flirting with Lydia and being confused in the first episode. The show also did something with him that I find utterly confusing, which was to show pretty definitively that the only memories he can actually recover are Nathan's, making it seem like Sylar is most definitely out of his own body and in Matt's mind, BUT then, they had Nathan/Sylar remember things that Sylar did and some Rasta guy projected them onto some mirrors or something. So which is it? Is he in himself or Matt? Or both? Or have you just really not thought this out much? In the second ep there was just a protracted battle with stupid Matt over his body, which of course Sylar was going to win, because Matt is just so so stupid it hurts me to watch him. Zachary Quinto was smoking hot in these two eps though, during the carnival parts especially.

Matt- See above. Got totally tricked by Sylar, now we are having this weird Quantum Leap thing where he's in the mirror and Sylar is in his body or something. I don't even know. I hate him.

Hiro- Showed up in Peter's apartment, all dying and stuff. Peter went off on a trip to save him, cause that's what Peter does, he saves people! He'll probably add a clipping about this to his shrine to himself, even if he has to write it himself! Anyway, after being predictably childlike and helping Deaf Emma accept her powers and whatnot, he traveled back in time to stop Charlie from getting killed by Sylar.

Peter- I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that he is pretty annoyed that he teleported to Ohio with HRG, got shot in the chest and then healed by some healer/killer kid, and then flew back to NYC all to get the healing power and heal Hiro, and when he gets there, Hiro had gone back in time. I would be pissed! He's gonna have to wait god knows how long for his "Hero paramedic saves childish Japanese man" headline now!

Claire- Though the whole horror/sorority hazing thing was kind of boring, I think this storyline has had the best payoff all season so far! We actually moved forward with the whole invisible girl is trying to get you plot, Claire's ability was revealed to some stereotypically idiotic college girls AND she admitted she liked Gretchen and maybe liked her "that way"! College lesbian love story here we come!

HRG/Tracy- These two had the tragic story of the last episode, with them trying to save the poor killer/healer teen and then it ending up that the kid gets dragged to death on the back of a pick up truck. It was pretty sad, and it of course led to Tracy telling HRG "Don't ever call me again", because if there's one thing you can always count on Heroes for, it's giving you a promising team up with good chemistry and then blowing it up one episode in. Tracy was also visited by Samuel, the Carny dude, and kind of sort of convinced that maybe she wanted to join his Carnival of People with Abilities Who Do Crazy Tricks and Manual Labor. HRG, as usual, was left alone and despondent, because apparently he can never be happy, even though he is the most tolerable character on the show. Maybe that's why! Maybe watching him constantly suffer makes me like him more or something. I don't know, I hope he calls Claire when he gets home, because they seem to be getting along okay these days.

*

Samuel the Carny guy- wants to turn Nathan/Sylar/Gabriel back into just plan Sylar, because apparently he did not read enough about him to know that when he is Sylar he is a remorseless serial killer of people with abilities, so he will probably just saw the heads of Samuel and all of his friends/employees and get lots of new powers and be psyched about it! Come to think of it, I can't wait until this happens.

Oh and Mohinder got a mention! I told you guys he wasn't dead!

Heroes- The preview for next week's show looked kind of good, right?

Sorry for the late double post!

Well, let's just get last week's episode over with first here. Last week:

Hiro spent the entire episode trying to save a guy who habitually copies his butt on the copy machine and gets himself fired. Seriously, that is what happened. That was Hiro's plot. For real.

Tracy/Nikki/Jessica whatever Ali Larter's character is named now found out that sometimes, hot women are only valued for their bodies and not their minds when she tried to get her old job back and her old boss tried to get her into bed.

Nathan/Sylar discovered some convoluted and long forgotten murder/accidental death he was involved in that Angela covered up, tried to make it right, and got shot. Or something. These characters have more back-story than a soap opera villain at this point.

So that was last week. It was terrible.

This week, was unfortunately, not much better, though we did get some actual plot movement on the Carny front, so that's something. Also next week's preview really did look pretty good! Oh Heroes, why do you do this to me?

So what happened anyway?

Well, let's just get this over with, cause I know we are all thinking about it...CLAIRE KISSED A GIRL. Or more accurately, Claire got kissed by a girl. I do not know if she liked it. That was not made clear. Was this is a desperate ratings grab? Maybe. Is the youngest daughter from The Nanny kind of selling it? Yes. Gretchen is a cutie.

The other Claire news was that she joined a sorority, accused Gretchen of murder, and is being totally played by one of the sorority girls (Tessa Thompson, of VERONICA MARS, best show ever!!!) who is secretly an invisible person who works with the Carnies and killed her roommate, made her suspect Gretchen, and is trying to get her to become a Carny too. Too bad she doesn't realize how much Claire wants a normal life. Living with a Carnival doesn't strike me as the kind of nornality Claire is looking for. This chick should just hang around her for like five minutes and then she'll know, Claire just wants TO BE NORMAL.

Speaking of people who just want to be normal, Peter is looking for some kind of human connection, so he invites his mom to his weird dingy apartment for some soup or something. Of course, even when standing in front of the shrine Peter has made for himself, Angela is still talking about Nathan to him. Which to me is no surprise since real Nathan is dead and SylarNathan is missing, but to Peter, just comes off as really annoying and rude. Later, he has few INCREDIBLY drawn out scenes with Emma, the deaf woman who can see sound, where they both see sound together, and he immediately tells her about his abilities yadda yadda. She has some kind of "could have been a doctor but blames herself for someone's death" back-story that I am sure will be illuminated further. Also, she LOVES FILING. So do not diss file clerks to her, ok?!

Then there was Sylar. Or Nathan. Or Gabriel Gray. Or someone else? I guess I don't really get what Heroes wants me to feel about him. Let's review here: He was a misunderstood weirdo who morphed into a merciless serial killer, who thought he found his family and learned to love and feel remorse, who then killed the woman he loved and went back to being a murderer, went on a weird spree with his possible brother to find his evil father, then had the feelings and memories of Nathan Petrelli (who was an ass, let's not forget) forced into his head and now doesn't know who he is and is just a cute little puppy dog who needs to be saved. Or something.

I mean, I LOVE Zachary Quinto. He is way too good for the part, which is one of reasons that it is so hard really hate Sylar. He gives the character layers that the writing does not. At the same time, wouldn't it make sense for me to be totally with Ernie Hudson (Ghostbusters!!) on the whole beat a confession out him thing? Because Sylar has done some pretty awful things. But the show seems to want us to be with the psychiatrist lady and want him to be saved. It doesn't really make sense. I don't love to hate him, I actually kind of like him. But he's an evil serial murderer. IT DOESN"T MAKE SENSE HEROES!!!!

So now, Sylar doesn't know who he is, but he is with the Carnies. And next week looks like it might be cool. But it probably won't be.

A few questions to ruminate on until next week:

Why was there a children's chorus singing the theme song to "The Greatest American Hero" a the hospital?

Why am I supposed to care about Emma?

Why was that scene of her and Peter playing the piano SO INTERMINABLY LONG?

Why were the scenes of Sylar in the police station so dang long?

Has that lady playing the psychiatrist been on Doctor Who or Torchwood or something?

How did I not know that was the little girl from The Nanny until someone told me?

Is Ernie Hudson this hard up for money? What about Ghostbusters 3?

How was I even the tiniest bit sucked into next week's episode after this one?

Was it because there was no Matt Parkman in it?

We Don't Need Another Hero...really we don't.

Dear Heroes,

Things have not been good between us for a long time, Heroes, and I've really tried to love you despite your flaws. But I just can't stand idly by while you bring in ANOTHER woman to an already overstuffed cast. And that's not even the only thing wrong between us! I hate the way you never let the main cast act together even though they have great chemistry, and I hate the way you make me feel bad for a serial killer because he stuck inside the lamest person in the world's head. Actually, as you may have guessed if you know me at all, I have a list of things that drove me absolutely insane about last night's episode. I hope you can read it with an open mind and an eye toward change, as that is the only way we can get through this.

-Does Matt not get that Sylar doesn't exist in reality? Stop pulling your gun on him idiot!

-Has Peter really gotten so weird that he just stares at a shrine he made for himself whenever he is not working?

-Even with the reveal that he was a butler's son, Samuel's stories of forced primness don't really make me feel that bad for him.

-Samuel does not look "like everybody else" in that suit Lydia. He looks crazy.

-Before I realized that this new girl is deaf, I thought maybe she had the power of sleeping super hard. What?! You have had some dumb powers before on this show!

-Powers = drugs? SO dumb. If Buffy couldn't do it well there is no way in hell you can, so don't even try.

-I think the fact that every time Matt uses his powers he uses them to be a liar isn't the fault of the power, it's the fault of Matt, who is a big ass. Nice try blaming some "addiction".

-Claire would NEVER EVER be allowed to live in the same room her roommate killed herself in. Come on.

-I think she probably would have called her dad about the whole dead roommate thing.

-Also, Claire would not brush her damn teeth before lunch! You couldn't manufacture a better way to have her run into Gretchen?

-I really wish that when HRG told Claire he would always be there for her, he also said, "And I will always have this Hatian who wipes memories." Cause that's reassuring.

-Gretchen is really the perfect friend for her, I will admit that, as she is a creepy weirdo into gore and stuff.

-Poor Sylar. Now I want Matt to give him his body back pretty badly, so I can watch him and NOT have to watch Parkman.

-Sylar is being way too nice! He is only being as mean to Matt as I would be if I were in that guy's head. I think he can do more.

-I get it, I get it. Sylar as Emperor Palpatine, exhorting Parkman to come to the dark side.

-WHAT is Samuel's power? Is it Ink and Dirt control? That's what I'm calling it. Ink and Dirt control. Like laundry detergent or something.

-Why would you put a sound effect in when showing us the fact that the deaf girl can see sound. She can't hear it! It might have actually been cool to see it how she does!

-Do you think Peter is going to fall for her maybe? Maybe. She'll probably play hard to get, as she is troubled because of her disability. I CAN SEE THE ENTIRE ARC OF THIS STORYLINE ALREADY. Not a good thing, Heroes, not a good thing.

-Could Peter be any more conspicuous with his powers? He's pretty much just using them in public at this point.

-Stop making it so hard to get pictures of the episodes! OMG!

Okay, I'll give you points for things that were at least kind of cool.


-No Hiro

-It was kind of cool to reveal Samuel as a definite bad guy by having him use his powers of Ink and Dirt control to sink that house.

-I sort of want to know what his plan is for Peter and the others.

-Good job getting Darth Maul as the knife guy.

That's about it. So as you can see, there is a lot you need to work on before you can really consider you and I on good terms, Heroes. I will tell you this much though. NO MORE NEW CAST MEMBERS. That's gonna become deal breaker.

Next week: Those carnies are after HRG!

Heroes, Oh God, it's not getting better. Now that I know I can accept this and move forward.

Oh Heroes. It almost hurts me to see you keep trying to so hard to fix yourself, yet continue to have the same fundamental problems year after year. The theme of this chapter is "Redemption", so I'm assuming that this show is about to be redeemed from stupid characters, labryinthine plots and unnecessary cast additions, right? Oh. Not exactly.

We begin with a voiceover. Of freaking course. It's not Mohinder droning on about crap no one cares about though, it's a new guy we have never seen before, talking to some carnies while he buries someone. It's all very sad I am sure. Then he uses his awesome power of...dirt control? Or something, to bury the casket. Cool I guess.

Aaand now that's over, and we are watching Claire move in totally alone to college. Real nice Sandra and HRG! Real nice. So Claire, in case you were wondering, just wants to have a normal life! I don't know if you've heard that maybe one thousand times before or not, but the show just wanted to reiterate that. Unfortunately for her, there are a few things keeping from the "normal life" of her dreams, such as:

-She's an invincible superhero with a superhero family and hero hunter/helper morally ambiguous father.

-She's wearing horrible 80's inspired fashions including but not limited to some kind of "Canadian Tuxedo" ensemble. (Jeans and a denim shirt. Knotted at the waist. WHY?!)

-She has an insane roommate who promptly offs herself after annoying the crap out of her (and us) for an hour.

-She has some kind of creepy, murder groupie, goth, black wide leg pants wearing friend who probably has a nefarious origin. (Knowing this show)

-She sucks at Algebra. No one can lead a normal life unless they understand Algebra kids.

So bummer for Claire. Turns out she is probably going to have to continue to be invulnerable and have a not so normal life. At least I hope. Otherwise this is going to be a boring show.

Still not leading a normal life? HRG, Noah, Claire's dad. We all know and love him, and he's pretty much back to his "people with abilities" chasing ways. But NOW, he is going to help them instead of caging them like animals! This time he'll aided by Tracy, who I guess is done murdering people for revenge now that someone else murdered Danko and she felt curiously all upset about it.
Also, are they going to do it? There was some weird chemistry going on with them in that last scene. Sexy chemistry? Or is that just how Ali Larter acts with everyone?

Oh yeah Danko's dead, thank goodness. They didn't really let me relish it at all, which probably just proves that the writers of Heroes are better people than I am. Some Carny guy killed him for a compass. He seemed to have some kind of super speed/ knife throwing skills.

You know who else just wants a normal life? Peter. So to acheive that end he is using Mohinder's super strength and agility (and later Carny guy's speed) to save people as an EMT. He is not interacting with his insane family (probably a good move) OR anyone else for that matter (probably a bad move) and his very nice EMT partner keeps trying to get him to hang out, but it's a no go. I don't really know why he seems to disappointed whenever Peter declines to chill with him, because Peter does not seem to be a very fun dude, let me tell you. HRG gave him a lecture about not living a lonely life and end up with your kids away at school and your wife's phone being answered by some dude, but at this rate, there is no way Peter is getting a wife and kids. He says crap like "Hi. I'm here to save you." Ugh.
He helped HRG get the compass (briefly, the Carnies got it) and we all know he'll be back, non-normal lifing it up in no time.

'Nathan' feels weird. Like not himself. Like maybe he might be someone else, or something. HMMMMM. Could that someone else be some kind of all-powerful serial killer maybe? Also, why did Angela et. all not plan for the fact that Sylar's powers are going to manifest for 'Nathan'? Every single person who has powers has had them manifest physically when they were not conciously trying to use them, including Angela and Nathan. Dumb. I am not sure if you have noticed, but the characters on this show are dumb.

Also dumb? Matt Parkman's entire storyline. Shocker, I know. He has quit mind reading cold turkey and is acting as though he was addicted to it. He's even in an incredibly poorly run addiction recovery group for it! (When he starts acting all weird, the guy leading the group is all "Okay, let's move on..." Nice dude.) And, he's jealous of the water guy. Yes, Matt Parkman is so insecure that is jealous of the guy who delivers water to his house because he is kind of friendly. Oh man I hate this guy so much. One more thing, Sylar is in his brain or something, and he keeps seeing him everywhere. I guess that is just an excuse to make sure Zachary Quinto is in every episode.

And then, of course, there's Hiro. I want to like him, but, man he really is a childlike idiot. At first he and Ando are trying to start some Ghostbuster's-like "Hire a Hero" thing, but then it is revealed that he is dying (From some unknown thing. Nosebleeds is my guess. Nosebleeds are one of the leading killers of TV characters in the nation. Someone should start a charity.) So then he goes back in time, meets the head Carny guy who tells him he can change little things without changing everything, and makes is so his sister and Ando are in love in the present. Good for Ando.
I am sure this new 'mission' (this fricken dude has to have a mission, doesn't he?) of going back in time to fix the small mistakes in his life before he dies will have no terrible consequences...oh I can't even say it. Of course it will.

So these Carnies aren't exactly fleshed out yet, but we have the aformentioned quick with knives dude(Irish, I think) , we have Lydia (hot, I think) who gets tattoos of people magically and then knows stuff about them, an old guy who can send people back in time and seems to be dying, and Samuel the seeming leader who moved the dirt in the first scene (telekinesis?) but in the rest of the episode seems to have some kind of magical ink pen that can make faces of people on Lydia's back AND make hands that strangle people into doing his bidding. (He did say he was sorry afterwards.) So onto Lydia's back he tattooted the faces of the Heroes that he wants now that he has met and influence Hiro. Peter, Claire and Sylar. Unsuprisingly, they don't want Matt Parkman.

Next week: I don't really know. They showed previews of the whole season. Crazy stuff!!

Heroes- Not Awesome.

Sigh. That is pretty much what I have to say about the Heroes season finale. I can barely muster up enough interest to even write about it! (By the way, if you are watching Heroes and not it's lead in Chuck, you are crazy. Chuck is about 10 times more awesome than Heroes could ever hope to be at this point. Watch it at NBC.com and read recaps and reviews at www.televisiononthebrain.blogspot.com Do it now!) Anyway, the Heroes finale happened, and it was pretty much not awesome.

heroesfanatic.comSylar. Gone? Nope. No way.

So what went on to end Season 3? Anything good at all? I suppose. Danko got arrested, jailed and then tranqed, and even though I really wanted Sylar to stab him in the neck, I'm pretty much happy with anything bad happening to that guy.

The way Peter morphed into the president to get Sylar was pretty great and even a tiny bit unexpected. A tiny bit.

Um, it looks like no one's getting fired/leaving the show, and since the cast is one of the only things this show has going for it, I am happy about that.

I think that's it.

Annoying things that went on last night:

Hiro and Ando, bickering about whose power to use, again. At least they got Danko in the end. So that was good.

Also, why does using his power make Hiro having a heart attack or something? And why did this never happen before? And will it happen again? So he is back to being completely useless I guess.

Nathan dying, Sylar becoming Nathan yet still being Sylar. I do not think there could have be a more unsatisfying conclusion to this arc. I mean Nathan is an idiot whose horrible horrible plan created most of the problems plaguing everyone on this show in the first place, but I really like Adrian Pasdar, (especially looking at him) so I would be sad if he were off the show forever. I also really like Zachary Quinto, BUT this is a lame way to get the shock of killing a character while still keeping the actor on the show. LAME. For real.

They formed another Company. Angela and HRG formed another Company without telling their respective children, Peter and Claire. So basically the set up for this season is exactly the same set up for seasons 1 & 2. Peter and Claire really need to stop trusting their parents.

It wasn't good. The characters did not grow, the plot did not move forward, and the set up for the next season is not intriguing. Needless to say, I CANNOT EVEN WAIT until September.

Heroes: And your name again is?

Oh Heroes. I have been wanting to like you all season! I have been hyping you up to friends and family! I have been saying, "Oh don't worry this is the episode where it is going to get good!" I have been saying, "When they team up it will be AWESOME." And now, with only two episodes left in the season, you give me this. Some ridiculous psychological study of Sylar, reiterating things we already knew about the character and moving exactly ZERO plot points forward. (Maybe one? Hiro has a nosebleed?) Ugh. What could even happen in the series finale to make up for this season?

So Sylar is having an identity crisis. Poor you Sylar, poor you. I mean part of me likes the idea of Sylar actually doing something helpful to al la Micah's suggestion, but at this point, can we really turn a (pretty much) unrepentant serial killer into any kind of, well, hero? Also, he is always killing likable people who are nice to him, like Clint Howard, yet he continues to let that scourge upon the earth Danko live. I can't even believe that he lets Danko talk to him like that. If I were Sylar I would have killed that dude SO LONG AGO. If the next episode does not open with Sylar taking that knife out of his head and stabbing Danko in the throat with it, there is nothing that will convince me that this show will ever be good again.

Hiro and Ando are bickering like an old married couple again. Even though I find Ando startlingly hot, he was annoying the crap out of me here. Is he really back to complaining that Hiro doesn't see him as an equal? These two need therapy. And apparently, Hiro needs a doctor, because his nose is bleeding, and on TV, nose bleeds pretty much always mean a character is on death's door.

How does Sylar get the clothes people are wearing when he shapeshifts? Are clothes part of our DNA now?

Nathan, as usual, is making horrible decisions. Why not let your super-powered family help you out instead of flying off alone to either get killed by Sylar or captured by Danko? Also, why not go unarmed to the place that Sylar is most likely to be? Nathan has the worst problem solving skills I have ever seen. It is unbelievable.

Why did Sylar need to pull a gun on Nathan? Just to show he had it? I mean he has about a million offensive powers and Nathan has one defensive one. A gun seems really unnecessary.

Poor Micah. No one should have to witness Sylar's weird becoming-his-mother-and-having-a -conversation-with-her thing. That was creepy to the max. Micah is definitely the best character on this show BY A MILE though.

Hey Matt Parkman, guess you are totally over that Daphne chick who you were so sure was your true love and just DIED, huh? Guess it wasn't really love like you thought it was, because you are running back to Janice pretty quickly my friend. Also, you are one of the dumbest people on this show, and on a show filled with idiots, that is a tall order.

Oh and in case you forgot, Mohinder is on this show. Getting caught by agents while wildly looking at old film strips or something. Cool.

Next week: Nathan loves Peter. Sylar is creepy to Claire. THINGS ARE GOING TO HAPPEN! Maybe. Probably not.

Heroes- OMG Just band together already! This is killing me!

Okay, so they actually made us watch some more scenes of digging up dead bodies, which you may or may not remember I specifically asked them not to do, but apparently the producers of Heroes don't really care about what I want. (Obviously.) Because if they did, they probably wouldn't have created yet another backstory for our characters. But they did.

I thought this episode was kind of meh. I mean we got a lot of the same character notes as always, Claire wants to be normal but can't, Nathan wants to do right but doesn't know how, HRG is conflicted, Mohinder is dumb, Peter is cute, Angela is guilt-ridden. And there were just so many things that DO NOT ADD UP that it was driving me insane! Such as:

Chandra Suresh- so he spent all this time researching and trying to prove that people could have these abilities, had a daughter with these abilities, AND he used to run an internment camp for people with abilities. Alright sure. That's why he was so excited when he met Sylar, called him Patient 0 and acted like he had never seen anything like it before. That makes sense.

Angela- She has gone from evil to sympathetic more times than well...HRG!! And if she had previously lived in a darn internment camp for people with powers WHY WOULD SHE SUPPORT NATHAN when he wanted to create one. Why not say, "hey, actually they tried this and it did not go well."

Peter-Why do people keep telling him that he needs to forgive them and THEY NEED TO FORGIVE HIM? What has Peter done to anyone? I mean his mother plotted to destroy New York, his brother tried to imprison him and kill him, and he's done what, like, forget a birthday or something? (Future him did shoot Nathan, but I don't think present him can really be held responsible for that! Besides, who among us has not wanted to shoot Nathan at some point?) I would smack these people if I were him. My only consolation is that he really looked like he wanted to.

Mohinder- Just gonna chill with Storm over at Coyote Sands. Forget banding together with other Heroes and HRG, he's just going to feel sorry for himself and beat himself up for cocooning people and all that other screwed up stuff he's done. Okay, good plan dude. Ugh I hate Mohinder.

Alice/Storm- Controlling the weather? Really? I always had a hard time with this power in X-Men too. I mean I get that it is no less related to genetics than being able to stop time or teleport, but I don't know, I just don't like it. Also, Alice in 1961 seemed to be a fairly savvy little girl (though Angela treated her like she was a total moron) so I have a hard time believing she just stayed there and grew up into this weird child-woman. And I love how Angela actually says the words, "I'm never going to see her again." Well thanks for wasting our time with that story then.

The only actually cool thing that happened was Sylar pretending to be Nathan (I love how the entirety of Nathan's plan is "Go to Washington, and um, fix stuff, I guess." Great. I think Angela's blackmail, kill, and erase memories plan is WAY WAY BETTER) There are only two episodes left, we still haven't seen all of our characters in one place, (which was the promise of the entire season) and I am just getting annoyed. These next two episodes better be awesome.

Quote of the night: "Oh that's Sylar." Heroes.

So let's get down to it! Time to talk about last night's Heroes episode, "Turn and Face the Strange". (Not a good episode title by the way.)

Okay, so I had a feeling that while watching this episode, I and everyone I was with was going to be constantly guessing that everyone was Sylar all the time. I was right. I was pretty excited to see a new power being used, but I can already tell this is going to be kind of annoying. I mean I appreciate the symbolism of the whole shapeshifter idea, especially for Danko (AKA Creepy Hunter Guy) and HRG (AKA Noah Bennett), but Sylar being able to be ANYONE he touches = a lot of audience misdirection. Hopefully they won't overuse it.

So this episode was an improvement on last week's to be sure (something actually happened!) but the fact that at least 50% of the characters act like complete morons most of the time is really starting to grate on me. I mean, in last night's episode alone we had:

Matt, deciding (and then being unable to) to shoot some poor lady to freak out Danko, instead of, I don't know, using his power to make Danko believe he shot her! He can put thoughts into peoples heads!! Why doesn't he do that then? Matt Parkman has got to be the most annoying character on the show at this point. And I think we all knew he'd be whining and moaning about Daphne throughout this episode, didn't we?

HRG, believing Danko when he tells him which soldier is Sylar, without any hesitation, right after hearing that Danko and Sylar are working together. Then, he proceeds to believe Danko's word that the soldier-dude is dead, and then just runs away! There must have something else he could have done with information that Danko and Sylar were working together. Maybe follow him and spot them working together? Report it to some higher up? Just KILL DANKO ALREADY? Ugh, his plan was the worst. (Also, before beating up someone you think is disguised as your wife, you should make SURE that it's not actually your wife.)

Danko is working with Sylar. Sylar is going to kill him when he's done with him. Bad plan.

Mohinder, Hiro and Ando are all government fugitives, happily calling each other on cell phones and chatting about the whereabouts of other government fugitives. Alright, sure.

At least Nathan is apparently chastened by the spectacular failure of his own terrible terrible plan and is finally going to reunite with his family to kick some ass. It's about time Petrelli family!! I am ready to see this happen. Heroes, DO NOT spend any more time in the next episode showing us people digging up skeletons! We get it, there are a lot of skeletons at Coyote Sands.

Next week:
Now, we get to see where the damn story begins! Let's hope the continuity fairy is around to make sure it all makes sens

Ok, so I guess if God is on their side, they're not completely outmatched--Heroes.

I liked this week's Heroes, it was kind of a character piece, which this show desperately needed. Even if the motivations revealed don't exactly match past actions, at least we have some kind of idea of where these characters are moving forwards. So, let's list it out! (Yes, I'm doing a liked/disliked list. It wasn't that good.)

Here's what I liked:

Angela and Peter. I thought that their scenes read pretty true to the characters and their pasts, and like Angela admitting that she's made huge mistakes and paid untold prices trying to save the world. She was warning Peter as well as asking him for forgiveness and understanding. The whole "Peter's pissed at God thing" seems kind of hokey on the surface, but honestly, if I were Peter, I'd be pretty pissed at God myself. Crazy powers + crazy family? = things not going very well for Peter.

Nathan and Claire were cute together. Also, Nathan looked so damn good in that three-piece suit that these two could have done pretty much anything and I would have been okay with it. Though I really wish when Nathan was describing how he reacted to Claire's conception it would have gone more like this: "I did what I always do. What I'm doing now. I created an elaborate, nonsensical plan with no clear idea of where I wanted it to go..." Because that is what Nathan always does. He's probably doing it right now to try to fix the damage his last elaborate nonsensical plan has inflicted.

Sylar messing with Danko and getting under his skin, even after Danko was so sure he wouldn't let him.

New power= Shapeshifting! I love to see a new power! I'm kind of glad that this power is painful and hard, otherwise it would make things too easy for Sylar.

Claire has great chemistry with both her Dad's!

They fixed Claire's hair! (Sort of.)

No Parkman glowering over Daphne! Hooray!

The Petrelli's are getting back together! YES!

Um, sort of mentioned before, but Sylar, Peter and Nathan were all looking pretty hot.



Ok, things that could have been better:

It was a pretty slow episode, not bad, but I kept thinking, "Oh this has to be over in a minute, right?"

Nathan! What is your plan? Make an actual non-stupid plan before you go back to DC!!

I guess now we are finding out that Danko isn't really as good at rounding up people with abilities as we thought he was and he needs Sylar's help? Because that kind of contradicts everything we have seen about him so far.

I really want Sylar to kill Danko, but now it seems like they are in some kind of weird love! Danko likes to feed Sylar powered brains and watch him kill people. Come to think of it, they may be a perfect match for each other.

Now that I think about it, the shapeshifting means lots "I bet that's Sylar....Ooh, that must be Sylar...Sylar is probably that guy now..." coming up in the near future.

Still hate the whole HRG is working for Danko but not really thing. He's not even making any headway stopping any of this, or at least we're not seeing it. He did let Angela and Peter go though, to remind us, once again, that he is a morally gray character. Remember?

No Parkman this week= yes Parkman next week.

I want Peter to get his power back. It bums me out every time I realize that his only power right now is flying.

Urgh, I just still hate that Danko! Something awful better happen to this guy at some point.


Next week:
Angela is taking us back to where "our story begins". Okay, I'm ready.

No need to fly me to the moon---Heroes!

Things I liked about last night's Heroes---

Bryan Fuller is back as a story consultant! Trust me, this is good. We'll get more moments like the nice one between Ando and Hiro talking about the death of Hiro's mom. The guy will help them pay attention to little stuff which will go a long way to making the show better.

Rebel= Micah!!! I knew it, and I really love that kid. I hope he is in more episodes to come, I think that the actor is great, the character is great, and this storyline is awesome for him. I loved him chewing out his aunt for ratting him out! Micah rules!

Peter, being so kickass and saving his mom like that! I love it when Petrelli's work together, and with their forces combined, these two have the potential to be awesome. Also, Peter looked really hot.

Tracy's sacrifice and death! It looked cool, it was dramatic, she atoned for selling out her own nephew by saving him, it was smart thinking, it gave us a crazy shattering body AND it had more emotional weight than Daphne's death by a mile! I don't for a second believe that Ali Larter is off this show, and I am sure there will be another clone, but if she was going out, this was a pretty great way to do so.

SOMEONE, even if it was dying Daphne in her own head, saying out loud that Matt's obsession with her is weird and strange considering they barely know each other at all and he just experienced a vision in which they were married. THANK YOU. It is creepy. I can't even believe that when they woke him up from his coma thing, the first thing he said was "Daphne! Where's Daphne!!?" Really?

Daphne died with far better hair than with which she lived.

No douchebag Nathan.

Even though I love him, I will admit that a break from Sylar was needed after last week. (Though, I REALLY would have liked him to kill the hell out of Danko, AKA Creepy Hunter Guy)

No Claire! Another person we could all use a break from.

The aforementioned nice moment between Hiro and Ando. Time to stop with the buffoonery and give these characters some more depth. The actors can obviously handle it.

Hiro has some power back!

Ando's powers have some offensive use!

Things that I could have lived without---

Daphne's entire death scene, from the Gwen Stefani thing to the "Fly me to the moon" bullshit. It was really cheesy, and I kind of hated that character, and was pretty happy when I thought she was dead before. I am not looking forward to Parkman mooning (ha! no pun intended) over her death, so hopefully getting Janice and his baby back in the picture will help him get over it.

HRG, Danko. I don't care if they trust each other, don't trust each other, are bad, are good, are bad but think they are good, are good but think they are bad. HRG has chemistry with most of the cast, but he and this guy bore me out of every scene for some reason! I just really want someone to take out Danko, but obviously that isn't going to happen as he is the villain. I do like that all of our main characters are uniting for the same purpose, and I totally get that having HRG on the inside will eventually serve that purpose, but his scenes trying to get Danko to trust him are just falling flat to me, and Danko's "Imprisoning and killing people is so awesome!" attitude is wearing a bit thin. I will admit though, they do a really good job making this guy totally creepy in every way. Even his diminutive stature somehow works to make him seem even more evil instead of less intimidating. The actor played a lawyer on Homicide years ago and I remember thinking that he seemed really clean cut and sweet. So he's doing a great job with the character, I just really hate the character. His motivation needs to be fleshed out a bit at the very least.



Next week: Sylar is trying to work with Danko! If our Heroes didn't seem so hopelessly outmatched already (The entire government is against them for god's sake!) I might be interested in this development, but I think I would just like to see them get one step ahead of one villain before we pair him with another. He is my favorite psycho killer though, so America and I are in agreement on that.

Heroes- Kind of rocking it, am I right?

So no Peter in this episode, and I didn't even miss him, which I think is a good sign.  Nathan is still a dumbass, but he seems to be wising up a bit.  In some ways I am glad about that, because his plan is just so terrible, but in other ways I am a little disappointed that they backed away from Nathan being the The Big Bad of this season.  He's all conflicted and shit (which I suppose he would have to be, since he has an "ability" too) but I think if we can understand anyone becoming a conscienceless evildoer, it's one of the Petrelli's boys, considering their parentage.  I just wish his plan wasn't so so dumb that he eventually had to pull back on it to prove that he wasn't, in fact, intellectually disabled.  

The scenes with Sylar and his dad were a little drawn out until the very end, but I kind felt like there was a double payoff there so I was okay with it.  We got to see Sylar punish his horrible dad, find a purpose and THEN (cheer with me people!)  he showed up at Creepy Hunter guy's apartment to TAKE HIM OUT!  I cannot even wait.  Even though it probably won't be easy (that dude must also have an ability, I think that is what Angela was implying during her oyster lunch/smackdown of him) but I cannot even wait to see Sylar kick that guy's ass.  I love that they keep giving us characters way more awful than                                            

Sylar, (a serial killer, let's not forget) so that we can keep rooting for him.  Because I have to be honest, I want to keep rooting for him.  I can't help it.  Maybe it's because I am sick.  Maybe it's because he is cute.  I don't know, but what I do know is that it's working for me.  

I liked Claire helping that horrible puppet man, and even though he hadn't really changed, I still think it was the right thing to do at this point.  They are in a war, and they are both on the same side at this point.  That's kind of all there is to it.  REBEL agree with me, and he is a boy genius, so I hope Claire doesn't feel too bad about unleashing that creep back onto the world.  The Heroes need pretty much all the help they can get at this point.

Hiro and Ando are now stuck with a baby.  Cool that Parkman's wife and kid are coming back into it, but must we continue to make these two look like complete buffoons?  I understand that Hiro's power has to be limited sometime or it takes away ALL if the urgency of the every situation, but where is the badass Hiro we saw in season one? I know this Hiro has gone through a completely different set of experiences, but we know he has it in him.  So let's move towards that a little bit.  I do not want to see these two changing diapers next week.  

Next week:  SYLAR KILLS THAT DUDE!!  Right?  Right?  This better happen Heroes producers, because I really hate that guy.

Heroes. Not so bad this time!

Alright, I was pretty happy with the episode of Heroes, especially considering how awful the last one was. Maybe it is lowered expectations, but let's be real here, things happened, secrets were revealed and we got double weird face making from Matt and Peter trying to control people's minds! It was pretty alright, I thought!

Also, the idea of a Peter Vs. Nathan smackdown is actually a totally great one! The Petrelli's were what really drew me into the show in the first place, and I like them as rivals. I would like to see Peter with a little more in his corner at this point (I mean Matt, really? That's all he's got?) But twisting their weird brotherly love into something sick is a good way to keep both of these characters interesting, and at the forefront of the show, where they should be. And not just because they are hot. Though that doesn't hurt.

I have to say I also thought that the way Matt's prophecy played out was pretty good as well. Again, it kind of turned things from the first season (and our expectations) on their head. Instead of some crazy super power being 'bout to 'splode DC, Matt gets a bomb strapped to him by Creepy Hunter Dude and it is on! Fly that mofo away Nathan! I can't wait to see Nathan expose himself to the world (or at least to Creepy Hunter Guy) as a 'person with abilities'. Mrs. Petrelli was right on the nose when she told him "The game has changed."

So Rebel has to be Micah, right? I mean who else could do what he is doing? I am excited about this because I really liked Micah and was kind of bummed when his story seemingly got dropped. Then at least Peter has a genius kid who can talk to machines on his side! That's something. (Aside...why is Nathan giving his mother ALL of the information about his stupid program? That seems dumb, because she is not very trustworthy. He is clearly a moron though.)

I also really liked the Claire/Sandra saving Alex plot. Sandra Bennett clearly rules, and now Claire knows it! (Lyle is a total dumbass on the other hand. Now we know why Sandra prefers Claire so much!) Also, she still totally LURVES HRG, and will be so proud of him when she finds out that he is actually a mole sent by Angela to stop Creepy Hunter Guy and his Hero-killing government program. (It made me so happy that the News got a hold of those files. IN YOUR FACE Creepy Hunter Guy!) Claire and Alex were pretty cute, and did not make me want to puke the way Claire and Wes did last season. I like that Alex is the epitome of a completely non-dangerous person with abilities. He cannot even accidentally hurt someone by breathing underwater. He's actually more likely to SAVE someone, with his healing kiss of breath. It was refreshing to see Claire working on something instead of brooding about her horrible dads, and it was totally creepy when that horrid puppet man came to her for help! She might have to help people she is repulsed by too! (Maybe Sylar in the future?) Will she do it?

And what of Sylar and his most annoying road trip companion? (You are very welcome for this adorable picture of Zachary Quinto.) Well I enjoyed his "Fleetwood Mac themed memories"(Mike O'Neil) and even though he didn't kill that kid, he slammed him up against the wall real good, so I'll take it. He is saving up all of his killing for his evil dad, who killed his (maybe) non-evil mom telekinetic style! Now we know where he gets it from! Just a chip off of the old block, that Sylar. Also, he was a very cute little kid, and it was apparent from moment one that his new parents (nee aunt and uncle) were not up to the job, since just after buying him, they let him wander outside into the parking lot to witness a murder. This kid's fate was pretty much sealed.

Another thing I liked was the direction of this episode, I thought the wipes and the split screens made it feel very comic book-esque, which is what this show should have been going for all along. Nicely done, Heroes!

Next week:
Aww shizznit! Matt's got a bomb strapped to him and he doesn't know whether Nathan should cut the black wire or the red wire! I have an idea, how about both! (Would that work? I always wonder that in these types of bomb-diffusing scenarios. Like, cut'em both at the same time!)

Ho Hum. Heroes.

Oh Heroes. Why have you forsaken me like this? You make me all these promises ("Everything will be different now! We totally get where we've gone wrong, we're going to fix it!), give me all this build up and then....nothing. More of the same. Okay, so here's one thing that is wrong with the show that you have not yet seen fit to fix...everyone is a moron! I mean Peter does some stupid things sometimes (not shooting that dude, believing anything Nathan says, teaming up with Matt and Mohinder, etc.) but he looks like a fricken rocket scientist next to almost everyone else on this show! I mean let's take a look at the people this man has to deal with.

Matt- Matt is dumb. He never uses his power offensively, even though we know he can. He can put thoughts in people's minds, yet he just surrenders when people come to arrest him and imprison him forever. Great. Good plan. Also, he is yelly, attacks a man with super-strength like he is going to somehow kick his ass, and yells at Peter to walk into trap after trap, with no actual plan of how any of this is going to help them at all.

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Mohinder- Mohinder is also dumb. Apparently he has known all about this stupid plan of Nathan's for at least a few weeks, and even after they are all arrested he doesn't see fit to mention it to anyone? Also, he doesn't think that maybe some of this will come out when Matt reads HRG's mind?! So maybe he should just come clean? Maybe? Nope, just let Matt see it in HRG's head instead. I am sure that will make him stop being such a yelly psycho.

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Nathan- Nathan is an idiot. I mean his plan is literally the worst plan ever. I still cannot fathom for even two seconds how this seemed like a good idea to anyone.

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Evil Hunter Dude- Really? Really? Your plan is to round up tons of super-powered people, put them all together, and then execute them. Right. There is just no way that could go wrong. It's almost as bad as Nathan's, but not quite, because at least he as an idea of what he wants to accomplish and I am sure he is up at all hours of the night thinking about ways to do it.

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HRG- Um, I love HRG, but hasn't he yet figured out that doing a bunch of evil shit is not exactly protecting Claire very well. Also he met with Angela literally 10 feet away from where he was talking to Evil Hunter Dude. Like, if that guy had turned around or dropped a glove or something, their entire plan to take down this government program would have been instantly exposed.

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Angela- If she went along with Nathan's plan for even five minutes, she cannot be as smart as she seems to be.

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Claire-Your dad's kind of evil but he loves you! These two things can exist in one person! Let's just wrap your head around it and move on now please! (She wasn't even in this episode, but whatever.)

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Ando and Hiro- They weren't in this episode either, so DO NOT EVEN get me started on them.

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See what I am saying? Poor Peter! It's not like he has a wealth of intelligence to rely on for himself here, and somehow he has to take down a government plot to murder thousands of people with only the help of morons! It is no good.

Next week: Matt is going to blow up Washington DC! If they had aired this before the inauguration, people would have been like "Good Riddance."

Feeling Sylar's Pain. Heroes.

Now normally when watching television shows, I do not root for the serial killing characters to have more victims. Even if said character is totally charismatic and likeable, not to mention sexy, I still would like him or her to refrain from murder. Oftentimes I am disappointed, which comes when watching shows containing hot serial killers and rooting for them in a weird way. While watching Heroes on Monday, everything was different. All I wanted in each and every scene was for Sylar to saw that damn kid's head open and be done with it! He wanted to do it too, for most of that stupid car ride, I could tell. I could really really sympathize with him during this episode. That kid was an annoying little sociopath, and not in a hot or funny way like Sylar. I was so excited when Sylar ran off and left him for the Feds! Alas, their road trip of annoyingness will continue, because Sylar went back for him. I'd like to think that it is because Luke has vital info about where Sylar is headed, not because he has developed some sort of feeling for him and has decided not kill him horrifically. That would be disappointing.

You know what also must be disappointing? To be the ONLY person with 'abilities' that has been captured so far. Poor Tracy is stuck shackled to a chair, being tortured by her dicky ex-boyfriend while completely screwing up her only chance at freedom by freezing some poor 'analyst'. Tracy's power is actually pretty cool, and seems to be useful in a battle scenario, unlike say, breathing underwater or super-charging other people's powers, so it is kind of baffling that Nathan's goons got her and kept her. She has also been portrayed as pretty smart, and I would really like to see escape for real, not just escape long enough to show her former friend that she is a cold blooded killer who must be tortured and locked up forever. That was a bad move on her part. Good move on the part of that creepy hunter guy.

Speaking of that creepy hunter guy, I think he is about eleventy billion times smarter than Nathan, and clearly has no weird "moral code" to worry about. Sooo, Nathan is pretty much screwed then. I love how we are supposed to see that Nathan is still sort of a nice guy because he is slightly vexed by the death of that analyst guy and creepy hunter man is not. This is what's making him likeable these days? "Well, he is trying to put his own kind in a concentration camp/Gitmo type situation, but he still feels kind of bad when his plans lead to the death of innocent people. Not bad enough to reconsider or anything, just bad enough to yell about it for a minute." Urgh I really hated Nathan in this episode, and I thought the lady from One Tree Hill/The Cutting Edge might at least be an interesting thorn in his side, but instead she was won over to the side of torture and suspending the rights of American citizens pretty easily. I mean there are people who are against torturing and or killing people even if they are murderers and/or terrorists or horrible people, just on principle, but not this lady. You freeze one person to death in front of her and she is ready to intern anyone who might be genetically similar to you. She seems cool, like someone who can really keep her head together in a crisis and still uphold ideals and stuff. Oh, no wait, she does not. At all. She sucks.

What in the hell are Hiro and Ando doing anyway? Saving some lady from marrying a jerk, bickering like an old married couple, buying plane tickets and using phones even though Hiro, at least, is on the run from the U.S. government? Why are they doing any of this? To teach Hiro some dumbass thing he has already learned, like 2 seasons ago? "I don't need powers to be a hero!", really? Great. I don't want Hiro to learn any more lessons. Just become badass Hiro from the future, fix this shit and be done with it. Ando can continue being hot.

Um, what else happened in this episode? Claire vs. HRG, time # 46,518,742. She doesn't need his protection, he's doing all of this for her own good, blah blah blah, we've heard all before. I will say this though, Jack Coleman really sold me in the scene where he was moving out, and the quick scenes of his fight with his wife. "Did you ever think that I don't have a choice?!" was so desperate and real that actually made me kind of intrigued by the character again which is good because...

Team Goofball finally teamed up and did something! They roofied HRG and are taking him back to their hotel room for some fun! Then, they are going to find out about Nathan's asinine plan and HRG's part in it. Will he be a hero or a villain? My bet is just a guy who does unconscionable things to protect his wig-wearing, super-healing daughter.

Ooh, unsubstantiated theory time...who is this REBEL who texts Claire and faxes(?) Hiro and Ando? My guess is that it is Micah, because since he can talk to machines he could easily get the info about Nathan's plan from a computer and then disseminate it to the people he needs to know about it. Also, with a code name like REBEL, it has got to be a little kid, because that is a dumb one.