Melrose Place: Season Premiere!

Ahh a new show. A new show that's an old show. It's the best kind! Much like the original series, the show starts with a concept that I find a little hard to swallow. That if you move into an apartment complex in L.A., it will be like gaining a whole new family! People will want to help you, sleep with you, lend you money, give you career advice and change your flat tire! I don't know if I buy this at all, but whatever. I can suspend my disbelief a bit. The structure of the new show seems to be a little different, using a lot of flashbacks to try to solve a central crime (who killed Sydney?!!). This reminds me of my all time favorite show ever, Veronica Mars, and somehow I bet the comparison will not be favorable. Well anywho, let's meet the characters!
I guess we should start with original Melrose Placer and murder victim on this show, Sydney. (Laura Leighton) She was crazy on the old show, and on the new show is still sleeping with her ex husband Michael, AND his son David, before she gets murdered. Still crazy, that's my bet on that one.

David- (Shaun Sipos)Looks like a poor man's Brad Pitt. Sleeping with Syd, son of O.G. Melroser Michael Mancini, (didn't meet him until he was a teen apparently) and all around ne'er do well. Michael gets him out of trouble a lot, his mother is dead I think, and he is all angsty.

Ella (Katie Cassidy from Harper's Island! YES!)- - bisexual PR woman, cold on the inside but with a heart of gold methinks. Sydney was about to kick her out of the complex because she told David that Syd was sleeping with his Dad. She is totally secretly in love with:

Jonah (Michael Rady) Dorky/cute filmmaker, has morals, wears a cute hat, won't even blackmail someone even if he accidentally stumbles into doing it, at this point doesn't seem to have any kind of motive for killing Sydney, but god knows what will happen to change that soon. At Syd's memorial service, he inappropriately announced his engagement to girlfriend of 5 years...

Riley(Jessica Lucas)- a first grade teacher and all around sweet girl, who did have reservations about marrying Jonah but decided to go for it when he didn't want to blackmail a dude who he accidentally taped sleeping with a teenager. I want to like her because the actress that plays her was on 90210 AND Veronica Mars, but right now, I gotta say I'm rooting for Ella to get her man.

Lauren (Stephanie Jacobsen) a girl in medical school (who seems to be of Asian descent! Nice show. You couldn't have had the Asian girl play the PR person and the white girl be in med school? Nope. Apparently not.) who can't afford it, and decides after some rigorous calculating on an old style calculator to just whore herself out to a dude who's mom was in her care. Good plan! I am sure nothing bad will come of it!

Auggie (Colin Egglesfield, formerly of All My Children!)- He's a chef. Was very close to Sydney apparently, and seems the most upset about her horrible murder. At the end of the show he rode a motorcycle to an alley and burned some bloody clothes. I am sure there will be some kid of good explanation for that behavior, as there always is.

Violet (Ashlee Simpson-Wentz) Weird new girl. Discovered the body. Stole the picture of Sydney after the ceremony AND I think kind of looks like her. So there is something there. I am not trying to be a hater here, but Ashlee Simpson-Wentz is clearly the weakest actress on the show, (and Laura Leighton was pretty terrible last night) and I honestly hope she gets better. She's not going to, I've seen 7th Heaven, but a girl can hope, right?

As this blog is an intro the characters/basic plot/murder mystery of the show, last night's ep was as well. This show could definitely go either way at this point, and I kind of like the murder mystery/flashback element of it so far. (By the way, flashbacks make you a bad driver! Just ask Michael!) This first ep was kind of boring, but I think we got a general sketch of each character and even a few suspects! We've got Michael, (he's married to someone else and was sleeping with Sydney), David, Ella, Violet and Auggie as possible murders, and Lauren, Jonah and Riley as characters without motive as of now.

Next week:
Quick cuts! Music! Saying stuff! Why don't previews ever show you anything anymore? What is up with that?

90210 Season Premiere! Who's psyched?!! I am!

Okay so for Season 2 of 90210, the producers brought in Gilmore Girls/Buffy alum Rebecca Rand Kirshner to revamp the show and make it better than season 1. I feel like some of the changes did actually improve the show, but I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't a little sad that oldsters from the O.G. show are getting pushed out. However, I think the season premiere showed potential, so let's get down to it.

Things that worked:

Making Naomi (Annalynn McCord), Adrianna (Jessica Lowndes) and Silver (Jessica Stroup) BFF's- Even though last season Adrianna and Silver barely spoke, and Silver and Naomi were just sort of getting back to being friends, I can buy that they all got really close during summer school or whatever. I think that they work as a foundation to the show way better than Annie and Dixon do. Also, everyone loves a show that constantly shows you shots of three hot girls, walking, eating ice cream, and doing other hot things in tiny dresses.

Annie (Shenae Grimes) as outcast-Good job making Annie just openly be a bitch to everyone. She is such an annoying character that they might as well make everyone on the show hate her too! First, she suspects herself of murder, and now she is doing random idiots at parties. God, Annie, was killing someone not enough?! Now you have to sleep with dudes who have low IQ's too?! Someone arrest her and her crazy faces!

Quick cuts- Everyone, and I mean everyone, loves quick cuts set to music that the kids think is cool these days. Also, segues with dudes break-dancing is also super cool. Cuts down the time that you have to have plot or characters, which can be very helpful on a show like this.

Already introducing like 100 different possible plot points/conflicts/pairings/enemies- We've got: Teddy (new guy Trevor Donovan) as a possible spoiler for Adrianna/Navid (Michael Steger), Teddy as a possible new guy for Silver, Teddy as a possible obstacle for Naomi/Liam, Teddy as a possible Annie lover, Liam and his possible Annie love, Liam trying to get back with Naomi, Dixon single and on the prowl even though crazypants (or no pants) Silver is still crazy about him, Annie as a possible murderer (I think that is going to shake out that she really hit a dog or something, let's be real here people), Navid/Adrianna no sex problems, Naomi having slept with a guy married to the lady from law and order who is mean and rich now, Adrianna not being able to stop missing her baby, Annie and Dixon's siblingship going sour, Adrianna and Silver not being able to abide by Naomi's natural meanness/sluttiness. etc. That's a lot to work with for the season, so good job person who somehow threaded all of this into one hour.

Silver had a cute haircut!

The hilarious line from Naomi's married boyf: "You know when we met at Barney's, I had never felt like that before.."

Navid and Dixon's plan to get a cabana which was right out of Brandon and Steve's dorky playbook on O.G. 90210.

Okay, there were still dumb things, of course, like:

Silver/Dixon- Okay, so let me just try to forget that Ethan was getting awesome before he left the show (BAD CHANGE) and that Dixon was acting like d-bag. BUT the show won't let me forget what a douche Dixon is because he dumped Silver for TEXTING someone five minutes after the got back together! Dumb. And Silver freaking out and not being able to breathe didn't make any sense because they had been broken up ALL summer and she seemed fine about it! Also, the whole, "Ethan's not going to be on the show anymore, so I choose you..." thing was a stupid way to attempt to resolve that plotline. I want Ethan back. Hmpf!

Everyone looks old- Some people ARE old! The guy who plays new hottie Teddy is 31, and he looks 31. Adrianna is being styled way too maturely, maybe because they are pairing her with him in the future, but she looks like Courtney Cox Arquette now instead of any kind of high schooler, even a glamorous one from Beverly Hills! Liam is like 25. Are they getting rid of hottie teacher Matthews because there is no way an actual 23 year old would look right teaching a 31 year old? (I hope not I love him! But their summer school teacher was the black gay comics guy from Chasing Amy, so that was exciting for me. HE looks good for his age!) The married guy that Naomi was doing, who was supposed to be twice her age (32) is actually 40, and he kind of looks older I think. Sorry Steven Brand. The girls are all like 20 and under, so it creeps me out that they are being paired with such older men. At least they gave Liam that weird floppy teenager haircut.

Navid's shirt was too small. Get a bigger shirt dude.

The fact that Dixon would not let his obviously very upset sister finish her sentence and then he just abandoned her. He is becoming a big jerk.

Silver wore a huge belt and no pants to the first day of school! Is her character not supposed to be cool at all anymore, and just a trendy hot girl too? Let's end this no pants trend people!!!

Oh, and next week? That's right, it's been on Law and Order, 20/20 and Oprah, and now you are going to see 90210's take on the plague that is infecting our children. SEXTING.

It Ain't Me: Mad Men Season 3, Episodes 3 and 4. My Old Kentucky Home, The Arrangments

So we have a late double post! Sorry about that. Now you know why I can't get paid to write this stuff!

The last two episodes of Mad Men have given us a lot of meaty character and thematic stuff to work with! "My Old Kentucky Home" brought us back to that well worn but always interesting trope of class and how it affects people. "The Arrangements was largely about parenting, and the way the decisions made by parents continue to follow their children throughout their lives. Since I skipped blogging last week, I am going to do things a little differently and just talk about where are characters are after these two illuminating eps!

Don- In "My Old Kentucky Home", we see how uncomfortable Don feels in his own skin and in places like Roger's country club. It was so amazing to see Don tell a real story, from his real life, to Connie, the man he met at inside the club. It was a rare unguarded moment where could see Dick Whitman, and how different his life was from the life he has created for himself in Don Draper. I think in some ways it also put in perspective his relationship to Betty, because no matter how much he is trying, he can never really be with her while he is keeping this huge secret from her. This country club world is her world, and she has no idea that it's not his. The fact that Don has to be someone else for her keeps an unscalable wall between them, even during tender moments like the kiss at the end of this episode.

In "The Arrangements", where we saw Don a good deal more than we had in the episode before, we are once again reminded why we love ourselves some Don Draper! There is always a pleasure in seeing that the impostor whose life is a lie has far more scruples than most people around him, and I loved his fatherly concern for Horace as he goes forward with his ill-conceived Jai Lai venture. I also loved how once Horace proved he really was too dumb and thought too much of himself to take that advice, Don was ready to "bill it to the kid" (Bert Cooper is going to be so mad about that ant farm!) Watching Don with his kids is also something that makes the viewers swoon, and even though he cannot bring himself to be as involved with them as he should (or wants to it seems), I liked how he told Bobby "There was a person in there." about the soldier's helmet, and the look of sincere sympathy he gave Sally after her sad outburst. If only he could have gotten up to comfort her!

Betty- If these two episodes reminded us why we like Don, they also reminded us of all of the things we don't like about Betty. In "My Old Kentucky Home" she can't even accept a compliment from Sally in a nice way, and shows us that her little back room dalliance with Captain Awesome might not be the only adultery she commits! (I suppose getting hit on while you are hugely pregnant might extra flattering though...). Her coldness towards her family was in full force during "The Arrangements". I thought it was incredibly interesting to see her father admit that he failed her by sheltering her too much, basically telling her that she needs to learn how to deal with life and stop acting like a child! (He was not the only parent in this episode to express that very opinion. Ho-Ho's dad felt much the same way when he said "We didn't know what kind of person we were making.") Unfortunately for him, and for the rest of her family, Betty is not ready to do that just yet. Watching her shut the door on her shocked and grieving daughter proved that.

Peggy- Peggy was on a streak of awesome for these two episodes! Trying weed, telling her sweet motherly secretary that she was going to be okay and get everything she wants, deciding to move to Manhattan because she "is one of those girls", Peggy is showing us a little of WHY it was so easy for Don to give up his old identity, just as it was for her to give up her child, in service of the greater good. Sometimes just deciding to become the person you want to be instead of the person you are frees and allows you to become better. We saw it with Don in the flashbacks he had with the real Mrs. Draper. At first, he was just so happy not to be Dick Whitman that the world was full of possibility! And look where it got him. Worlds away from where he came from, where he was running from. I think Peggy is finding the same thing. Though she carries a terrible burden, giving up that child has gotten her exactly where she wanted, and she knows she can go even further. I bet her new roommate is going to be really annoyed when she finds out that Peggy isn't actually very fun though.

Roger- Oh Roger. Even though he is a black face wearing, cheating, pompous man, I almost wanted to believe him when he said that people were just jealous of how happy he was. But I am pretty sure the fact that just a few scenes before he was singing to his 20 year old wife in black face, something that would be taboo just a few years later, and was at least offensive even at that time, shows us that he is becoming exactly what Don says, "a fool". Roger is the old guard, and he is retreating into denial to try to forget it.

Joan- Ugh, the Joan stuff is just killing me. At her first dinner party for her husband's colleagues, poor Joan realizes that her Doctor isn't all he's cracked up to be. With references to his killing a patient with a mistake ("everybody gets a bad result sometimes...") and the ever more remote possibility of his becoming chief resident, it becomes clear that Joan is undervaluing herself in every arena. How can she not see that SHE is the catch in this relationship, not the other way around? Her incredible ad for Peggy's roommate shows us that she could be right up there with Peggy and Don writing great copy! There seems to be nothing that she cannot do, besides of course break free from the conventions of her time and give herself a chance to be something! Betty's dad's words ring true for Joan as well as his own daughter.."If you'd even known what was possible..."



Other thoughts:



-The real world is closing in on our characters, and watching Sally watch news reports about forced integration and trouble in Vietnam makes me anxious to find out how the show is going to treat the tumultuous times that are coming.



- How could I forget about Sal and Trudy? Ugh I feel so bad for both of them, with Trudy slowly realizing that something is very wrong between them and Sal trying so hard to pretend there isn't. It is even sadder given the fact that of all the married people on this show, these two seem to actually like being with each the most!



-Even though the commercial was a failure, I am glad that Don is going to hire Sal to direct again. They are bonded together by secrets now!



-Stoned Peggy during "My Old Kentucky Home" was great. As was finding out what we already knew deep inside: Paul is a pseudo-intellectual covering up a Jersey accent.



-Pete and Trudy were kind of cute doing their little dance. Kind of sad too, but I feel like we are getting hints that their relationship is becoming a little more functional.



-Poor Sally. I know that Don wanted to go to her but felt like it would be betraying Betty, but man, it was so awful to see her lying in front of the TV in her little ballet uniform! Grandpa Gene bought peaches for her and everything!



-Next week: things are going to be said. Also, Sally's acting up, and it looks like her hot teacher is about to get in the mix. Bummer for Betty.

Don't Stand in the Doorway, Don't Block up the Hall: Mad Men Season 3, Episode 2: Love Among the Ruins

With episode two of this season, Mad Men is reminding us though so much had remained the same from the end of season 2 to the beginning of this one, it cannot remain so. "Love Among the Ruins" is an hour of television about change, and each of our characters is dealing with the vast changes in their lives and in their culture in different ways.

The most intriguing character of this episode to me was Peggy, almost cementing her place as a mini- Don, a liar, a seducer, someone who cannot find personal fulfillment despite her success and intelligence. Stuck in a place where being ahead of her time is more a curse than a blessing, Peggy cannot quite figure out how to be a desirable woman and a smart woman whose opinion actually matters at the same time. She is living in a world where those two ideas are still mutually exclusive to most men, so when she goes out looking for a little love in the night, she uses Joan's line, she pretends to be a secretary, she becomes someone else. Peggy has truly learned from the best when it comes to playing a role to make other people give you what you want, and now she is just honing those skills.

I did like that Peggy was disappointed in Don for being just as into the Ann-Margaret song as the other men, whom she considers lesser. Also you can't help but be proud of a girl who has the guts to go and disagree with Don Draper. Too bad for her she had the unfortunate luck of catching him after his meeting with Pryce about not taking the Madison Square Garden account!

Ahh, another person caught up in personal and professional change is my beloved Roger, who cannot seem to understand why everyone is just so darn mad at him for leaving Mona for Jane! His daughter his hurt and embarrassed, his ex had no desire to be understanding, Don is angry at him for using his words when he left Mona and for changing the game up. Don was perfectly happy to live in a world where men pretended to be happily married and women pretended not to cheat, and Roger is just a reminder to him and to everyone else of the tawdry reality under that fantasy. Roger's charm is falling flat on everyone these days, not just pissy, pregnant Betty, who could barely stand to look at him.

Betty was not in a good mood this episode, and you could see that Don was really trying to make her happy, which is a pretty huge change in their relationship. Not that he didn't relish the chance to one-up William and send him and his family packing (Poor Judy! She seems nice!), he still couldn't stand to see Betty wracked with the guilt of being a bad daughter, so he is letting a man he can't stand move into his house. Maybe it is because she is pregnant, but he even seemed to feel a bit bad about making her sit through that business dinner with the Pryces. Don and Betty don't seem to realize the huge change they have just embarked their family on by having her ill father move in with them, even after seeing him go back to Prohibition in his mind and pour all the booze down the drain. (What will Betty drink now when pregnancy gets her down! She needs something to go with those cigs!)

Though it was nice to see Don stand up for his whiny wife, Don is still Don and immediately drawn to any hot, independent brunette in his radius. I like that they had the teacher dressed up so she fit right with the origins of the maypole but also with the hippie future that is just on the horizon. Even as Don tries to be a good husband and father, the desire for something else, something different always seems to be eating him up inside. The teacher represents the kind of woman Don is always attracted to, and of course, poor Betty's polar opposite. 1963 was the end of America's innocence, and it change is on the horizon for the whole country, including Don Draper. Something tells me he might just be ready to embrace it.

Other thoughts-

-Goodbye Penn Station. For once, Paul is actually right about something! Maybe not the best venue to air his opinions though.

-Wedding on November 23, 1963? Oh dear.

-I loved Don's conversation with Pryce. It is always great to see Don break through his cool demeanor and come at someone with a little force. (Ditto the smackdown of William)

-So, is Don going to sleep with that teacher? I'm taking bets.

-The sweet wistful look between Roger and Joan really got me. She's still the only one that understands him.

-Ugh when Joan said that her husband told her to "watch out" after he got promoted to chief resident it made me ill. So sad that she married that rapist. Looks like we'll get a little window into that relationship next week. DON'T have a baby with him Joan!!

-Man, pregnancy is really getting to Betty! Or something. She was nastier than usual tonight.

Next week: Joan her rapist husband! Roger and Don have a fight! Talking! Quick Cuts!

Just Somebody That I Used To Know: Mad Men, Season Three, Episode One "Out of Town"

Starting with the scandalous squalor of his birth and moving us into the seeming domestic bliss of his current life, Mad Men's third season begins with the same question that has always been at the heart of this show. Who is Don Draper? And more importantly, who does he want to be?

The opening scene where Don imagines his birth to a prostitute his father made pregnant shows us why he is so determined to hold on to "Don Draper" and get as far away from Dick Whitman as possible. He is constantly terrified of his life slipping away from him, yet he cannot stop himself from pushing it away. I'll admit, after his letter to Betty in "Meditations in An Emergency" I would have liked to see Don resist the wiles of the (very Betty-like) stewardess, but I had no illusions that it would actually happen. And for all her sweetness and glowing smiles I have a feeling that Betty doesn't cling to that hope much herself. She and Don have settled into something different, but in many ways, it is where they began. Just as Don says to the Shelley, "I always end up somewhere I've already been." Indeed you do Don.

It seems that Don and Betty have come to a warm truce, trying to be close to each other while still being the same people who were torn apart. Betty saves her softness for her husband and unborn child while still reserving that strict coolness for the children they already have, ("Sally has something to tell you. I pried it out of her.") never quite living up to that goddess mother role that Don chose her fulfil. And Don is still tomcatting around, convincing himself that it's okay to sleep with Shelley, because it's his birthday, because he is damaged in ways no one can see, because it's just one time, because he's a man.

Don and Betty's back and forth is always fascinating to watch, and Jon Hamm's genius cannot be denied when you see him in scenes like the final one of the episode, trying to tell Sally the story of her birth and stumbling, thinking about his birth, the ways he has failed his family, and the ways he has made a better life for them than he ever had. All of that is written on Hamm's face as January Jones takes over the tale and Betty tells it from the perspective of the husband that she worships and loves and hates all at once, all the time. "He didn't want to get back in the car, but he did..."

Other developments in this episode include:

- Entirely not enough Roger. I love you John Slattery!

- Our dear Sal, finally giving in to his feelings and letting a man kiss him, and willing to do so much more, (great gaydar by the way bellhop!), foiled by a fire and caught by Don! Lucky for him if there is one thing that Don Draper can be counted on for, it's discretion. Sal is such a great character, and Bryan Batt did an amazing job showing us how much he wanted this and yet how horribly guilty (That "Oh God" he let out was sexy and heartbreaking all at once.) he feels about betraying Kitty, who he does seem to truly love. Sal is torn between who he knows he is and who he knows he needs to be. Here's hoping he won't follow Don's example and continue living an elaborate lie. Maybe this experience will have a more lasting impression on him.

-Six months in, and the Brits are still trimming the fat at Sterling-Cooper. (Roger's face falling while grousing, "Oh, it's that meeting." after walking in on Bert Peterson's firing was so perfect. Vintage silver fox Roger Sterling there!) Pitting Pete against Ken to see who would come out on top reminded us of both Pete's robot human self (That conversation with Mr. Pryce about hospitality! Man, Pete is so awkward!) and his whiny whiny baby self ("Why does it always have to be this way? Why can't good things happen all at once?!" Ugh, poor Trudy. ). It also reminded us that Ken Cosgrove is a pretty good guy, all things considered. I love how he just walked away from Pete while he was still whining.

-Bert Cooper is a weird old man. Erotic Japanese paintings, ant farms, no shoes in the office... weird guy.

-I think Jared Harris (most recently of Fringe) is going to be a great addition to the cast as Mr. Pryce. And I loved the way he took down Moneypenny without even knowing it! I will not be calling that guy Mr. Hooker. Sorry buddy!

-Not a lot of Peggy, but intriguing hints that things are going well for her at Sterling-Cooper even under British rule.

- I know I said this before, but Pete really is such a baby.

-I really enjoyed the scene where Don was spinning his tales of he and Sal working for Jimmy Hoffa to the stews and the pilot. He just lights up rediscovering the power of a story, that old glory of a lie. He knows that he has that voice, that face, and that no one can look away. He's addicted to it.

-Roger Sterling quote of the night, re: Pete vs. Ken. "I told him it was a stupid idea, but they don't always get our inflection." Jane Sterling, you are one lucky woman.

Next week on Mad Men: I don't really know, as Mad Men previews are usually just the characters saying totally out of context sentences inter cut with completely unconnected shots of other characters looking upset/happy/satisfied/afraid. So I think some sentences will be said, some emotions will be silently felt, and it will be completely awesome. Just a guess though.

I just know that you NEED to read every word I have written about: HARPER'S ISLAND!

Well now you can! I've been blogging about this show at masslive.com, but I didn't want to deprive anyone of my hilarousness, so here it is, in it's entirety, my Harper's Island blogs! (It aired on Saturday nights so I actually missed a few eps, but you can fill in the blanks pretty easily if you have a brain. And yes, I am too cool to stay home and watch a horror/mystery/piece of crap show on Saturday nights. Jealous?)

Okay show, when you kill off the most recognizable actor and likable character in the first episode, (Cousin Ben!! NO!!) it is not a good sign. One of the biggest reasons I was excited about this show as because of my love of Harry Hamlin! As a HUGE Veronica Mars fan I am conditioned to fear him, so when I saw him with his gun I was sure he was up to something nefarious. Instead he was pretty much just up to getting his lower half severed from his torso. So, that was a bummer.

So Hamlin's (Uncle Marty) dead, and I am not going to have his cheesy grin and floppy hair around being some kind of champion of the middle class in the face of rich idiots. (I wonder if Harry Hamlin feels bad that he is only hired to play sleezeballs and womanizers? Maybe it makes him feel good.) I will miss him but I can handle it. Since this is the first episode, let's meet our characters, shall we?

Abby Mills- She arrived in a cab driven by a dude with an eyepatch. Awesome. She's our main character, and I call her "Fun Girl!" because she looks all traumatized and upset all the time. Everyone likes to be around that girl! Right? Her mother was murdered on Harper's Island 6 years ago by some crazed serial killer. Bad relationship with her dad, ran away to LA, feels weird in a tight dress, has an ex who still wants her, real original stuff here. First time back on island in 6 years for the wedding of her BFF--

Henry Dunn- Um, middle class or possible poor, no family to speak of other than Uncle Marty (Now dead. Sadness.) and his weirdo brother, J.D. Cleaned the boats of his fiancee's family. Looks like an elf and jerkish wedding guests are already speculating about his friendship with Abby ("You haven't even hooked up once?") Getting married to--

Trish Wellington- Yes that is her real name. They were really trying to invoke rich jerks with the last name here, and they did so. I assume she is the reason that they are having a WEEK LONG wedding, so I immediately hate her and her rich awfulness. I mean, I guess thanks for giving the murderer a whole week to pick people off Trish! Um, some dude named Hunter is being paid by her dad to stop her wedding to a pauper. Probably her ex or something.

Chloe and Cal- I call them "The horrible blonde people" I cannot believe one of them didn't get murdered, and Harry Hamlin did! I guess one plus of this Agatha Christie (can't wait for the parlor scene!)/horror movie premise is that you can keep your fingers crossed that the characters you really hate will die brutally. That sounds awful, but come on, what are you watching this for? Anyway, these two better not make it to the end of the show. She's a horrible idiot, he wants to propose to her (so he is a horrible idiot too) but because of their mutual awfulness, he lost the ring in the ocean. Come on killer, GET THESE TWO!

J.D. Dunn- Henry's weird brother, totally going to get blamed for being a murderer, has a lot of tattoos, and when they were revealed the music actually went "DUN DUN!!" like having tattoos always = murderer. So apparently this show is set in some other time when every person under 40 didn't have at least 1 tattoo. Anyway, he's all weird and suicidal, peeps on the island don't like him.

Jimmy Mance- Fisherman dude. Closest thing we have to a hot guy on this show. Loves Abby. Seems nice. Probably a serial killer.

Shea Allen-Trish's sister. Has a totally creepy little child, Madison. Trish thinks she has the perfect life, but obviously does not know about the "Shining"action that is going on with her kid.

Thomas Wellington Dad of Trish and Shea. Trying to stop Trish from marrying Henry (good start, throwing her a WEEK LONG WEDDING!) Hates poor people.

Charlie Mills- Abby's dad. Their relationship is fraught. If this doesn't get canceled, maybe we'll find out with what.

There are about a million other characters on this show, so we have lots of potential victims and killers, but these are the only ones that seemed important in this first episode. Abby is our main character, so we can assume she'll make it through the end. (Maybe she'll be the killer!) She's a typical TV "weird girl" so we are supposed to relate with her or something I guess.If we are weird. There were lots of fake-out jump-scares (birds, where did Chloe go?!! etc.) and a few genuinely creepy moments (seeing cousin Ben tied to the boat, when Uncle Marty fell through the bridge) but it was mostly filmed like a bad slasher movie. Also, sometimes it was just plain BORING. So next week, you better wow me Harper's Island!!

Fun facts:
Two Cassidys are in this show, Elaine as Abby and Katie as Trish! (She is very pretty) And Trish's Dad is played by Richard Burgi, who played Michael Cassidy # 2 on Judging Amy! Coincidence?

Looking at my notes, I wrote about my hatred for Chloe and Cal and my desire for them to be killed FOUR times! The words "Best murders ever!" were used.

Next week: Henry and Trish are making out grossly! EWWW. Also, some people get killed.

Why did you want to get married there again?

These pictures of the cast are really weird.

So, one time, your best friend's mother was brutally murdered, along with 5 other people, on a secluded island in the Pacific Northwest. Why, when planning your fabulous week-long wedding with your rich fiancee, would you think, "Hey that island where I worked and there we some horrible murders! That's a good spot to get married!" No, no you would not think that. You know who would think that? The elfin mind of Henry Dunn, the groom. So we already know, he's not a smart guy, nor is he a very sensitive guy. That has been established for us. So let's go forward for the rest of the season with that in mind.

Alright. So we beheaded a priest, hung a goth girl and set an annoying chick on fire. (I hope the dog was ok!) Also, we had bad grammar in the intro (Abby said, but I can't help feel something is wrong..." but feel? feeling? Nope. She just said feel.) This episode was pretty brutal! Things have really gone down hill fast at the Wellington/Dunn wedding extravaganza. This is a warning to all rich people. No one wants to use their vacation days to attend an entire WEEK of events centered around your wedding. Some people get really mad about it, and just start killing the hell out of guests. So, maybe just one or two days is enough celebrating your love then?

We learned that Abby has a standard weird girl gone good job, writer. Also, I have noticed that she looks completely dead behind the eyes, like a Kardashian sister. It freaks me out. She goes running alone out in the woods even though she "can't help feel something is wrong". I guess we know why she is best friends with Henry now.

Things that made me laugh: (in a good-bad way)
Deer killings. What a ridiculous way to make sure like 80% of the characters will spend the day covered in blood. Like there is a murderer, and there is probably some other weirdo (J.D.) who thinks deer corpses make great pranks. A lot of weird people rocking out on Harper's Island.
Scavenger hunt!!! Of course these people would force their wedding guests to go on a scavenger hunt that they don't even plan on participating in on murder island! They think that having a week long wedding is a great idea! I actually kind of liked it that everyone quit. Because really, after the bar part, everyone would.

Sex scenes- OMG this show is not shy about showing skin! Both the Trish/Henry sex scene and the Kelly/JD sex scene GROSSED ME OUT. I yelled EWWW a lot. The chocolate thing? No No No.

Killed the priest- another character we had never met and didn't care about even a little. Ditto for Lucy really.

Characters that we did learn a little about:

Cal is kind of growing on me. Not Chloe. Still hate her.

Shane = horrible jerk

Sully = horrible jerk

Danny = horrible jerk

Dad = horrible jerk

Hunter = horrible jerk

So, there was a lot of character development then.

Next week: Bodies are found! People make out! People scream!!!!!

Slowing down on the murdering quite a bit.

So in the last episode, we had 3 people get brutally killed, but in this one, things are definitely slowing down with just one murder. However, I think the reason is that the show wanted to do something wacky and actually develop the characters a bit before killing them off! Wow, show, I am sort of half impressed at your half trying to make Harper's Island something not awful.

So what did we learn about the characters? We learned that Abby (Elaine Cassidy) is not just a weird girl who is super smart and so cool that her best friend is a dude (we all know guys are awesome people), she is also hot! We learned this from the fact that instead of wearing jeans and a t-shirt, they put her in a bikini and then a tank top from which her breasts were in constant danger of falling out. We got a little more of an insight into her daddy issues (she's a little crazy about it, since she was simultaneously yelling at her father FOR investigating Kelly's death and FOR NOT investigating Kelly's death.) One more thing, considering the way she talked Shane down, looks like she's be a great hostage negotiator or something. So if this writer thing doesn't work out, she has something to fall back on!

We learned that Abby's dad doesn't really know what he's doing copping-wise, as evidenced by the fact that he burst in and almost got J.D. killed. And he won't tell his civilian daughter whom hasn't seen in 7 years every detail of the investigation! Just kidding that makes perfect sense.

We learned that Henry (Christopher Gorham) is almost kind of cool and brave! I mean stood up to his future-father-in-law pretty awesomely, and set up his fiancee in a great trap to prove her love! On the other hand though, maybe the fact that he had to do that and the fact that he is already asking his future brother-in-law about how he could possibly be happy as a Wellington (answer: banging the step-mom) don't really bode well for Henry and Trish. Whatever, he still looks like an elf.

Trish (Katie Cassidy) is obviously pretty self-absorbed, as she has not noticed that one of her bridesmaids has been missing for at least a day. I hope that if I ever fall into a hole and get doused with gasoline and set on fire, my friends miss me pretty quickly.

We learned that Cal (Adam Campbell) and Chloe (Cameron Richardson) are kind of funny. His line "I wake up every day praying she doesn't meet a cooler British person." actually made me laugh out loud! I still hate her though. I have to admit, I think it's her face.

We found out that even though he is super wealthy, Thomas Wellington, (Richard Burgi) doesn't even have an IPhone or a Blackberry or anything. Maybe that's how he got rich, by just getting the free phone every time he gets a new contract and not spending stupid amount of money on a nicer phone. Also, he is still a horrible jerk, in case you were wondering.

All of Henry's friends = still jerks. Especially that Sully guy.

Shane = still a jerk, and also now a kidnapper and attempted murderer. So now we know he's not the killer.

J.D. is really not that weird, but he does seem to have a huge chip on his shoulder about people thinking he is weird. I'm not yet sure if this is character development or just a flaw in the writing.

Hunter was also still horrible and creepy (very tall) and I like how they pretty much made him so odious that you were kind of happy when that crazy gun in the engine contraption got him.
No cute Jimmy. He was probably out setting up that incredibly creative way that Hunter got murdered.

Next week: More murdering! That's just an assumption. Also, they find Hunter's body, which is pretty incredible, because they are really bad at finding dead bodies on this island. Currently we are talking 2 out of 6.

Well, now people on Harper's Island are just dying from their own stupidity and greed.

They don't even need a murderer! (Unless of course the ingenious murderer just made it LOOK LIKE Booth shot himself in the leg ... which, would be kind of dumb. So that is probably what happened.)
So let's start off with what I know we are all thinking ... OF COURSE Trish and Henry are both having day-long bachelor/bachelorette parties! They think they deserve their stupid wedding to be celebrated for a whole week, so of course they think that they should each have a party that lasts the entire day to celebrate the end of bachelorhood for them.

How do these people even have friends?

Oh that's right, their friends are INCREDIBLY HORRID PEOPLE.
Henry (Christopher Gorham) and Trish (Katie Cassidy) look like angels next to their friends (and family!). Well, not angels really. Considering the fact that in the face of discovering a dead body, Henry looked more mildly perturbed than horrified, and when her niece broke that teacup, I thought Trish (and the girl's mom!) was actually going to punch her in the face (they at least wanted to), I guess 'angels' is being a little generous.
Still, their friends suck.

One such completely terrible person is Malcolm, who not only hid one dead body that he didn't even know and stole money from him, he let his jumpy friend then take responsibility for his stupid actions, then stole the money from his DEAD FRIEND and didn't tell anyone that he was dead in the woods. That guy could not be crying enough in his room! My hate for Malcolm is HUGE. I am ready for the murderer to take him out.

Even the rest of the groomsmen are really only concerned about themselves and MAYBE a little bit about not ruining the stupid wedding, but not at all about the DEAD GUY they just sunk. Everyone's got a family right? Nice dudes. Real nice. I like how it was someone they knew, but nobody even bothered to turn the guy over and find out. These people are horrible.

Oh, Jimmy and Abby (Elaine Cassidy) are so cute, he is so nice that he helps old ladies every week and never got over her, she is lonely and needs a hug from him. Ugh. He is totally the murderer.

Remind me not to hire that psychic for my next party, as screaming and freaking everyone out does not really = fun in my book. Like Abby isn't weird and paranoid enough on her own, she needs some psychic to yell at her and run away!

I do like how Jimmy told her he wanted her to "enjoy her time on the island." Yes, Abby, enjoy your time on our murderous island where you discovered your dead mother hanging from a tree! Why aren't you enjoying this more? Killjoy.

Mystery questions:
• What is up with the weird newspaper girl?
• Did Richard almost drown Trish on purpose so she wouldn't talk about his affair with Catherine?
• Did that creepy little girl break that tea-set?
• Is the psychic real or a fraud someone paid to freak out Abby?
• Will anyone ever notice that Lucy has been missing for days?

Next week: Maybe someone will figure out that there has been A LOT of murdering going on here.

Finally realizing something is a little off!

It's Daddy-Daughter day on Harper's Island!
This week's episode gave us a little more of that character development that this show is often sorely lacking. We got a little glimpse into some of the relationships on the show, and there were even a few parts that were truly suspenseful! Good on you Harper's Island!

Abby (Elaine Cassidy) got busted spending the night at Jimmy's by her Dad. Looks like we are supposed to infer that they didn't sleep together since she woke up on the couch. What is wrong with you Abby?! I thought that people on TV always comforted themselves with sex, but apparently Abby just hugs and sleeps on the couch. Lame. Even though he is probably going to turn out to be a psycho killer, Jimmy is still the hottest guy on the show. By far.

We learned that Trish (Katie Cassidy) thinks Lucy left, which I guess explains why no one was worried that she might have fallen in a hole and gotten set on fire. The fact that Henry (Christopher Goren) and Trish are willing to believe that Lucy, Booth, Trish's cousin and Henry's uncle would just ditch their wedding week extravaganza without word shows us a little about their relationships. People don't like them much, and they know it.
I thought the scenes with Trish and her Dad (Richard Burgi) were pretty good, humanizing his character a bit and showing that these two do have a real bond, despite the fact that he tried to pay a sleazebag to ruin her wedding.

I am pretty disappointed that the Catherine and Richard reveal won't have any follow up with Thomas, since an axe fell on his head at the end of this episode, because that guy can do blustery rage pretty darn well. He's really the first character that has actually been developed before his death, and I'm going to miss him!

Other thoughts about this ep:

-Abby is a terrible "best man". She is really ridiculously wrapped up in her own stuff and would not help poor Henry at all! He did have his wedding at the sight of her mother's murder though, so I guess I can't really blame her.

-Henry is dumb if he can't just pick out some damn napkin rings or whatever. Get it together man!

-Maggots are disgusting.

-No one tells anyone anything on this show! "We had an accident" is how Trish and her dad describe being hit off their bikes by a log trap thing and attacked by some crazy guy's evil dog, which they had to kill! Sure, just an accident.

-Um, I still really hate Malcolm, and actually wrote "Yeah cry idiot! This IS all your fault!" I cannot believe he buried poor Booth and is now just pretending he doesn't know where he is. Real nice.

-J.D. and that creepy little girl make a great twosome.

-Ooh, I'm glad that Lucy's dog is ok!

-I really liked how when Henry came to see Madison, her mother was like "I'm sure she'd enjoy the company." Maybe if you didn't ignore your daughter all the time she wouldn't be so darn creepy!

-And finally, someone found a dead body! Thank goodness only like 5 or 6 people have to get murdered around these people before they get suspicious.

Next week: OMG people are finally freaking out at a reasonable level in these circumstances!!

Love (and also murder) is in the air!

Due to some DVR related mishaps, I missed last week's episode, but to be honest, it didn't take me long to catch up! I am a little disappointed that I missed everyone realizing that there was a crazy murderer loose on the island, but this week almost made up for it! There were a few things I was pretty excited about, but as a reflection of my lameness, we will start with the thing I was most excited about, THE FISH KISS!!!

Maybe it was the cute flashback of Jimmy running after Abby's boat, maybe it was the Death Cab for Cutie, maybe it was my shock that I am actually feel slightly invested in these characters, I don't know, but I was really quite excited by the fish kiss! Now I am going to be SO PISSED if Jimmy is revealed to be the killer! I mean they already drew comparisions between him and Wakefield (the mom saying I used to date guys like that) so hopefully that is a big red herring. Because he and Abby are super cute. They should get married. Maybe they can take over Henry and Trish's aborted wedding!

The other super awesome thing that happened was that Danny punched Malcolm! I kind of wished he beat the crap out of him, but he did get brutally murdered not long afterward, so I guess I can be happy with that. I mean you definitely deserve to get punched if you leave your friend to die in the woods because you really need money to finance your stupid business idea, but I suppose you don't deserve to be brutally murdered while burning said money.

Ok, other things happened on this episode, such as:

We got to see some flashbacks of the first murders and how they affected the relationships of our characters. Pretty interesting and I thought that the scene where Abby witnessed a murder was actually really scary!

Trish wants to call off the wedding.

Abby's dumb dad actually said the words "Looks like we found our killer" we soon as he found Uncle Marty's cell phone in J.D.'s pocket. A little premature perhaps Sheriff?

Um, Abby's mom totally deserved to get killed for dating that dude in high school. (No, not really! Jeez!)

Abby took Trish to see her Dad's dead body and was weirdly excited about it. "You ready?!"

It seems murder often thwarts sex between Jimmy and Abby. Do you think the universe is trying to tell them something? Me neither.

If you just witnessed a murder and saved your girlfriend from getting killed, why would you leave her if you saw that she was hiding in a bush like 2 feet away from you?! That is a weird thing to do Jimmy, even if you didn't want her to "think she owed you something."

Creepy little Madison got kidnapped or something.

That burned guy who sicks his dog on people is apparently supposed to be less than crazy.

Um I got bored a little.

Next week: PEOPLE ARE FREAKING OUT! AND STUCK ON THE ISLAND! OMG!

The blog in which I predict the ending wrong....AGAIN!

Well this was J.D's (Dean Chekvala) swan song. He jerkily escaped from prison leaving Shane to die if the killer wanted, and then basically told Abby (Elaine Cassidy) that all the murders were somehow her fault, before he was shuffled off this mortal coil by someone. (The killer? Henry? Henry who is the killer?) J.D.'s final episode was a fairly eventful one, but it was still somehow kind of boring. Things that were kind of awesome include:
Danny (Brandon Jay McLaren), one of the only nice people Trish and Henry are friends with, refusing to leave the island if it would hurt Madison (Cassandra Sawtell) , being helpful, and still talking about what a horrible horrible person Malcolm (Chris Gauthier) is for letting Booth (Sean Rogerson) die in the woods and burying him there. Yay Danny!

They actually found a few bodies! Congrats on catching up people.

They actually realized that ALL of those missing people are probably dead! Congrats on catching up people!

Cal (Adam Campbell) is back! And better than ever! Pointing out that "panicked inexperienced people should not be handling weapons." Not running away on the boat just in case it would cause Madison to be hurt! Forcing Chloe (Cameron Richardson) to be less odious! I did not think I would like this guy when the show started, but I will tell you this, he is one of my favorite characters.

The fact that everyone ignores the Step-Mother because she had an affair with her stepdaughter's husband. Like, no one mentions it because that would gauche, but no one really talks to her.

Jimmy! (C.J. Thomason) Yay Jimmy! He better not be the killer.

That crazy guy adopting Lucy's dog. Pretty funny. What will happen to that dog now that his second owner in a row got murdered?!

Things that pretty much sucked include:
Fakeout of Henry (Christopher Gorham) as the murderer. It is so not going to be him. I would be totally cool with it if he did turn out to be the murderer though!

Eww I hate when things are super bloody!

How many bodies does Abby have to discover before she stops gagging and almost puking when she sees one? It grosses me out.

So this weird burned guy has only been on the island for a few weeks? He made a LOT of weird booby traps in that amount of time.

Shane did not deserve any of the screen time he got. I hate that guy.

That during a search for a missing child, Henry was all "Hey Abby, thanks for giving that picture to Trish (Katie Cassidy)" Now is not the time to discuss your relationship dude!

That everyone decided to split up and search for a child on an island where people are getting murdered left and right.

Um, I should have mentioned this before, but I find the whole picking the next victim online thing to be REALLY CREEPY.

Next week: Jimmy won't let the killer get Abby! SWOON!

It's all kind of (sort of) coming together now!

This Saturday night time slot is killing me! (No pun intended) So because of my busy social schedule (I am very popular!) I have to write about the last two episodes together. Forgive me please! Last week's episode was pretty uneventful, though we did discover that there is a possibility that Abby (Elaine Cassidy) is Wakefield's daughter, which does put some pieces into place. It also made us think that Abby's Dad (The one we know!) may be the real killer!

Then I watched the second episode. And something terrible happened. They blew up Jimmy.
Abby and I had the same reaction to Jimmy's boat blowing up.So I guess I will take comfort the fact it seems like he is going to live, and try not be too destroyed by his seeming death and decently surprising resurrection. Good thing I didn't have to wait a whole week to find out that he was alive! If Sully (Matt Barr) AND Shane (Ben Cotton) made it and Jimmy (C.J. Thomason) died, I would be sure there is no justice on Harper's Island.

Then they shot CAL! After Jimmy, Cal (Adam Campbell) is for sure the best guy on the show. Funny, sweet and British! Everyone loves a guy who proposes during a crazy, life threatening situation and still has a smile on his face! What the hell show, you have like 3 likable characters (Danny (Brandon Jay McClaren) is still the smartest and nicest guy on the damn island, even if he is a little bland) and you are maiming the hell out of 2 of them in one episode!
Don't die Cal!

Then of course, after totally making it seem like Abby's dad (Jim Beaver) was the killer and that Abby could be Wakefield's child, he was killed horribly and it was revealed that DUN DUN he is Abby's real Dad and DUN DUN the killer is Wakefield. Which is kind of lame because we already pretty much knew that. He is the original killer. Of course he had help and I am sure that will be a crazy and surprising reveal (PLEASE don't let it by Jimmy!), but still, it's kind of lame that the killer is the same killer everyone already knew about.

Farewell Sheriff Mills. Sorry for thinking you were the killer for like, five minutes.
In the first of these two episodes, Beth (random bridesmaid) and the stepson-in-law screwing stepmother got killed too. I also mourn for them.

Stray thoughts:
I love how last week's episode drops right into the action! Not really, everyone was weirdly calm and quiet after all the insanity of J.D.'s death and Henry standing there all bloody! It was pretty much a snoozefest for the first 15 minutes!

It seems like everyone moves around INCREDIBLY quickly on this island. They are all as fast as The Flash! So either it is very small, or everyone is moving at lightening speed.

I'm glad Shea got to yell at her stepmother for sleeping with her husband before the stepmother got stabbed with a gardening tool.

I loved it when Jimmy and Henry (Christopher Gorham) were defending Abby! Man Sully and Shane are SUCH jerks.

Henry was like some kind of tiny ninja during that fight with Shane.

I'm coming around on Chloe (Cameron Richardson). Cal better be OK!

Oooh it's Nikki (Ali Liebert), a random character we forgot! And Sully made out with her!

Alright, sure.

Next week: I don't have any plans for Saturday night, so maybe I will actually watch it on time! (eta, I didn't)

SEASON FINALE TIME PEOPLE (spoiler alert, Henry is the killer!)

So after watching the last episodes of Harper's Island, I have a few questions:

Where are all the other residents of this place? Because it seems to be portrayed as a place that people live, but somehow, by the end of the show, the entire place is completely abandoned? Or are we supposed to believe that Henry and Wakefield killed some other people offscreen or something?

Another question is, why are these people so inept with guns? And why is Wakefield some kind of superman that cannot be defeated, except at the end there, when he could? These questions will never be answered. Because the show is over, and I was wrong, because the killers were Wakefield and Henry, not Jimmy. I was right though, when I said Henry was a horrible person. I just didn't know how horrible! Or how creepy!

So Henry was the killer. It became pretty obvious in the first hour of the season finale that Jimmy was nothing but a red herring, and at that point it was clear that it had to be Henry. There wasn't really another character that had ties to the island, or that creepy weird dimple face that he's sporting.

I feel like the whole "I decided to kill everyone so we could live together in a freakish incestuous, gross gross relationship" is kind of a weak motive, mostly because I feel like Henry really could have gotten Abby to love him since they were BFF and just never told her that they were brother and sister. I guess he was just bonding with his dad a little by murdering people before he settled down with his wife/sister. EWW. I really did not call the whole incest twist at all. Good for me, I say.

I have to admit though, the last three episodes were pretty scary, (maybe even a little too gruesome) and even had some poignant moments. The way Cal and Chloe went out made me tear up a little! (And to think when we first met these two, I was just wishing for thier deaths! Good job show!) And Henry's death at the end was pretty affecting, even if he was a creepy murderer in love with his own sister.

Stray thoughts I had during the season finale:

Wakefield = Not that scary looking.

Sully = dumb (I had this thought many times during this show, but I was pretty sad when he died anyway, because he spent these two episodes acting kind of decent and nice! Still not smart though.)

I loved how Sully was all chivalrous and wanted to let Abby kill Wakefield. A gentleman always lets a lady kill the murdering psychopath. That's just etiquette!

Also, he really knows when to pull out the taser! Damn, why couldn't Sully have lived?! Because he "dogged Trish", that's why.

You know I am super bummed that Danny didn't make it.

I know she's just a little kid, but Madison seems to withhold really important information ALL THE TIME.

I actually wrote at one point in my notes "Could it be Henry? It can't be!" But it could be. And it was.

By putting on her wedding dress, it is as if Trish was actually asking to be murdered brutally. If there is a psycho running around, do not tempt fate by getting all dressed up in your wedding dress so you can be murdered dramatically! Bad move Trish. Bad move.

Even though it was clear she was going out, I was really hoping that Jimmy and Abby would save her! This was before I realized they were going to kill absolutely everyone left on the island besides those two. That is a horror movie cliche that I really wish the show hadn't gone with, actually. There was really no need to have almost no survivors other than the main character and her boyfriend, both of whom seemed pretty guaranteed to stay alive.

Those flashback scenes from when Henry and Abby were kids were sweet. They upped the sadness quotient!

I love that little Henry really hates Tacoma. It is kind of a gross city.

I still love Jimmy, and I am so glad that he lived AND he wasn't the killer! I am kind of in shock over it actually! And they totally made out on the Coast Guard boat, which let's admit is kind of weird. I would probably want to hug or something, but making out seems like a weird thing to do in front of those Coast Guard guys after seeing most of the people you know brutally killed, and killing your best friend/brother who was one of the murderers. Granted I have never been in this type of situation, so I really don't know. I do know that Jimmy is hot though!

Imagine what a morose weirdo Abby is going to be now! She better just stick with Jimmy, and they can go to therapy together and shit.

Well I guess this is it! I don't have Harper's Island to kick around anymore! No more horrible Trish and Henry, no more hot Jimmy, no more weird girl Abby, no more idiotic Sully, no more jerky Shane, no more creepy Madison. I think I'm going to miss them! At least the kid and her mom got off the island too. That kind of makes me feel better.

So the moral of this story is very very simple: If a psychopath gets you pregnant, DO NOT give up your child for adoption, then let said child become best friends with the child you had with your nice husband, and never tell either child about it OR even have the adoptive parents mention to the kid that he is adopted, because if you do, then he will grow up to be a crazy murderer who is in love with his own sister. And no one wants that. The end.

90210-Dreams CAN Come True!

There weren't any pictures of Annie (Shenae Grimes, who I'm sure is a lovely person.) covered in someone's drink, so we'll have to start out with the second best image of the night; Brenda (Shannon Doherty) and her dragon.

This show was so filled with crazy plotlines and dream sequences I thought I was watching Twin Peaks or something! They've got a lot of balls in the air here, so let's just do a rundown!

-Parents: Threw a completely dorky after prom party that their own children did not even consider going to, like not even for a second, and ended up stoned at the hospital with poor Kelly (Jenny Garth). Who, by the way, DOES have a crush on Harry, but who DID NOT mention her past as a cocaine-addicted cult member who shot and killed her own rapist. I just don't know why they don't incorporate her character's rich history into this show! Rob Estes and Lori Loughlin were pretty darn funny last night, all loopy on pot brownies.

-Naomi/Liam/Annie/Jen: OH MY GOD Jen is the worst person in the world! And such a fricken ho-bag!!! A bag of hos! I wish Ryan Matthews could see her now! (He's probably chaperoning that nerdy after prom party) Naomi and Liam were so adorable last week, but I kind of dug how they were driven apart by Jen's horrible scheming and not because Liam really liked stupid Annie. (Though he was drawing a picture of her, which is odd...) Also, the payoff of Annie getting a drink thrown on her and then going CRAZY was totally worth it. So what do you guys think she hit when she was drunk/rage driving anyway? A person? A dog? A minotaur perhaps?

-Ethan/Silver/Dixon: While this triangle kind of came out of the blue, I have actually been really enjoying it! Dixon is such a mopey loser these days that OF COURSE I was hoping for Silver and Ethan to make out hotly, and they did! Now just tell me that Ethan is staying on next season, and I will be a happy camper, shipping Ether or whatever other couple name you can come up with! It was completely great that Ethan was carrying around that picture of Silver that must have been taken literally moments before at the prom. That is devotion people, someone who will carry a picture of you around for minutes at a time! Also, the best thing about this picture on the left is that is shows us that Dixon's screen saver is of him and his best buddies! Looks like that's just about to implode dude!

-Navid/Adrianna/Brenda/Baby
Ok, so of course this was my favorite storyline (aside from the whole Annie getting a drink thrown on her thing) and despite some total weirdness (Dream Brenda!) I thought it was really well done. Jessica Lowndes is really carrying this show as far as dramatic acting goes, and she did not disappoint last night. When Navid told her that the adoptive parents were there and she started crying and saying "See! This is why I didn't want to hold her!" I was choked up! It's a bummer that her mother wasn't in any of the scenes (it really seemed like Brenda was filling that role which was a bit strange.), but all in all I think that they were great. I also really loved the scene with Navid and Ty, especially since even Ty seemed completely amazed that he had just done a non-douchebaggy thing there. Me too Ty, me too.

And yay! Brenda's a mommy! I hope that isn't their way of writing out her character though! Also, she should be the one with Dylan's baby!!!! NOT KELLY!!!! Sorry, I still get a little worked about that.

So that's it. 90210 is over for the season! We know that it will definitely be coming in the fall, THANK GOD and with it there will also be a Melrose Place reboot. Tuesdays are going to rule!

90210! Prom! So cute!

Well, promos for next week aside, there was a lot of adorability going on in this week's 90210. Silver got awesome again, Naomi and Liam were super cute, Navid and Adrianna were super cute and an entire plot line of the episode revolved around people hating Annie! 90210, you know how to bring me in!

Ok, so I think my absolute favorite part of the whole show as when Silver made her little speech about realizing she didn't want to be a prom loving zombie loser! It was awesome! The whole time I was thinking that Silver used to be so cool and now she is spray tanning herself and crap like that, and lo and behold, she was thinking the same thing! I wanted to smack Dixon for sitting there and pouting like a little baby instead of realizing that his girlfriend was cool and ready to be herself again! By the way, the whole Ethan/Silver thing that seems to be developing is pretty interesting. I would actually be getting really invested in the idea of these two if I didn't already know that Ethan was leaving the show. Save Ethan!!!

Naomi and Liam were pretty much completely adorable in that last scene. My favorite thing ever was when she got so excited that he looked at her Facebook to find out her favorite flower! As if that takes any effort at all! It must be so great to be someone like Liam, where putting the tiniest amount of effort into something is enough to make someone ridiculously happy. Maybe I need to start doing less for people....hmmm. Anyway, Naomi and Liam are hot, and there little dance in the snow was so cute I almost died. Please disregard the preview for next week, as that is what I am trying to do here.

Ade and Navid= cute. Always. I loved how they were taking pictures holding out her HUGE prego belly. I also was psyched to see Navid punch Ty for her honor and totally just get away with it because she went into labor! Nice.

Another thing that was super great? How everyone on this show hates Annie, including the writers. HAHA. Liam better be being mean to Annie because he hates her, because if he likes her, that is totally not believable.

There were a few weird/icky things going on though, including:

-Jen and Matthews. Really? Are we supposed to like him at all at this point, because he was a complete douche to Kelly when she was pointing out a fact that should be pretty damn obvious to him, which is "Jen is not a nice person."

-Jen stealing Naomi's money. I hate her. (It is pretty cool how both actresses talk in that same strange accent though.)

-Jen being mean to Kelly. And being married I guess, but actually I don't really care about that at all.

-Is Kelly into Harry? I could be into this getting all crazy like that with "good" characters doing bad things, but is 90210 ready to take that risk?

-Mentioned before, but man Dixon, do you have to be such a whiny baby about everything?! Ugh. Here is what I wrote about him while watching: "Dixon is kind of a lame, mopey loser." Still true.

Next week: Ugh, I don't want to talk about it. Season finale though!

90210-Dashing my dreams of teenage marriage.

So this episode of 90210 was all about relationships and not making huge horrible mistakes. And, more importantly, they gave Annie (Shenae Grimes) a funny line! "Oh yeah, I can't wait to go back and celebrate the fact that two delusional sixteen-year-olds have decided to ruin their lives!" I really really hate Annie, so whenever the show makes me like her for even a second, I feel like it is truly a triumph. So tonight, 90210, you have truly triumphed. Also, you made an entire episode about my fave couple Adrianna and Navid, so I was pretty darn happy.

Adrianna and Navid will not be getting married. I can take it, but only because they are still engaged to be engaged, so my dream of them staying together forever and always being happy and adorable can still live on. Thank goodness. I thought that Jessica Lowndes and Michael Steger did a great job in those two scenes at the end of the episode! Navid telling Adrianna that he loved her and then her reply about not being able to keep the baby totally tugged at the heartstrings! You might think that I am a hardened cynic, but I cannot get enough of the cuteness of these two!

Because of their adorkableness, I was able to overlook the following things!

The fact that there is no way that Deb would have let Anne and Naomi throw that combo baby/wedding shower for a sixteen year old at their house. That was weird. And she participated in it like she was so excited for the child bride! You would have thought that was my house or something!

Even though we have NEVER seen Liam interact with Navid or Dixon, he still mugged some dudes to get them into a burlesque club or something. If it were a real strip club maybe, but a burlesque club? Really? The whole thing was very strange.

Liam is still acting like he likes Annie and finds her interesting. This is crazy, as she is awful.

en. All of it. Blackmailing the dad, lying to Naomi, dating Ryan Matthews, spending a million dollars in a month, being generally annoying.

The fact that we are supposed to believe that these people would all sit together at lunch. They wouldn't. The only way they are all connected to each other is because they are all on this show. Work on that 90210.

The crazy amount of Tupperware Navid and Adrianna were using at lunch.

Ryan's fake novel, and the fact that he seems to like Jen and not find her horrible. He is getting less cute by the second!

There were a few non Adrianna and Navid things that I kind of loved.

I LOVE drunk Dixon.

Dixon and Silver are actually getting cute and kind of interesting again, which is good, because they used to be one of the best couples on the show.

Beach yoga! That just seems cool.

Looks like hats are making a comeback! Congrats hat people!

The use of Right Said Fred's "Too Sexy" to score the toilet paper wedding dress fashion show. (In which Deb vigorously participated!)

Naomi's hysterical (and very in-character) inability to read the room when Adrianna and Navid were standing there panicking while she made her speech about supporting their marriage.

Silver's hair.

Naomi looking INSANE when she saw Liam and Annie talking. Fatal Attraction here we come!

So all in all, it was a pretty good episode, filled with cuteness!

Next Week: Prom! We get labor and Kelly vs. Jen! This is the first time in my life I have said this, but GO KELLY!!!