I'm back! And I'm talking about 90210! YES!!!

Ok, so there are about 70 bajillion plot threads going on in this episode, but let's start by talking about the ones that people actually care about! (As much as you can care about this show...)

-Adrianna's prego! She's just trying to ignore it though, and Naomi (who was refreshingly not-annoying in this episode) really wants her to face up to what is going on in her life. Ade does not want to listen though, so Naomi tries to double team her with Kelly (not like that!). The scene is pretty much useless, as Kelly and Naomi argue about Adrianna in front of her, (probably giving her flashbacks of her broken home.), BUT Kelly Taylor is wearing a dress that I own! From Banana Republic! So that was exciting for me. For everyone else though, I'm pretty sure the scene sucked. (She looked great in the dress by the way. As do I.)
There were two awesome parts in this whole "Adrianna is pregnant and troubled" saga, and they were as follows:
The "Adrianna drives recklessly and crazily chugs coffee like a maniac scene" (When she finally pulls into a women's clinic after almost crashing her car, my friend Shannon exclaimed "I don't think they sell coffee there!" I'm sure there was a Starbucks just off screen.)
And when she admits to Kelly and Naomi that Ty is the father of her baby and they both just look at her like "Oh. Uh...oh cool, yeah. Yeah...that guy's a dick. Bummer."

-Moving rapidly down the line to things that watchers of this show might find marginally important or interesting: Hottie Teacher Matthews (23 my ass by the way! If that guy is 23 then I must be 12) is back, (plotlines we missed during our hiatus that directly affect this story include: Matthews and Kelly broke up, Matthews hit it with Brenda, Matthews hit it with a narc who everyone thought was a student, Silver vlogged about it, Matthews was put on leave until it was revealed that the chick was a narc and an adult.) He's all pissy like a baby about everyone believing the worst of him, especially Silver for some reason, so he transfers her out of his class. After getting yelled at by Kelly and reading some life-changing paper about Heart of Darkness by Silver, he relents and decides not to be a sucky teacher who hates everyone for the rest of the year. Also, he hits on the new drama teacher at the end, because he obviously must be sleeping with or trying to sleep with someone at all times.

-And on to things that we should care about( because it involves the two most tolerable characters on the show), but just can't(because it's stupid): After apparently telling her he loved her just last week, Dixon dumps Silver for not saying it back to him, being a self absorbed harpy, not being able to read his mind, and just generally being herself ("intense", with "big moods"). So there goes the only rootable couple besides the parents on this show.

-Um Naomi's dad is a sleezebag who is cheating on his mistress with the broker he is using to sell his wife's house out from under her while she is going mental. Naomi finds this out, and kind of awesomely I have to say, uses it to get her own hotel room so she doesn't have to live with any of these crazy people. She's actually pretty kick-ass in the scene with her dad, and only flares her nostrils just the tiniest bit, yet still manages to convey that she's upset, which definitely impressed me.

And now to things that no one, no where, actually cares about. Even if Annie and her "special" boyfriend Ethan were real people, their friends and family would not give a shit about anything that happened in their storyline. I can barely even type it out without falling asleep. Annie tells Ethan to audition for the school play with her, which he does even though he can barely speak, talk about act, because he sees good old Ty hitting on her and talking about "backstage" stuff with her. She doesn't get the the lead (OH MY GOD!!!), Adrianna does, so she goes home and mopes about it in her bed instead of going to the ridiculously fancy cast and crew party that the drama club is having before rehearsals even begin for some reason. Her parents tell her that she is lame (well that's what they should've said) so she changes her mind and calls Ethan (who got a part as a Eunuch, HA! and is happy about it HA! They know he's retarded.) who promptly gets into a car accident while on the phone with her. So, the lesson here kids is, don't talk on the phone and drive. It's illegal in California anyway.

Next week: OMG will Ethan live?! Does anyone care?!