Another Episode of Melrose Place

Maybe you can tell from the title of this blog, maybe you can't, but Melrose Place is just not inspiring passion from me. It's certainly not great, but it's not terrible either. The stories need to move forward a little more quickly though. I missed last week's episode, and when I asked my friend Sarah for a recap, she said "I think it was pretty much the same as the week before."

This week, we did get some forward plot movement. Sydney's sister, Jane Andrews (Josie Bissett) apparently inherited Melrose Place, then moved in and promptly began blackmailing its residents. As you do.

Jane, who as far as I can remember was pretty nice on the original show, is pretty much evil to the core on this iteration. She tells Ella she has evidence that she had motive to kill Sydney, she pretends to be all sweet and worried about her 'niece' Violet and then calls the cops on her, and she tells David she is going to make their lives miserable. (I would just get another apartment at this point, but I guess MP is SO AWESOME that that is not an option.) Jane made an awful dress for Ella's client, and in the end, Ella showed guts, a backbone and dignity by NOT making her wear it, which I think was a pretty good twist actually. Go Ella!

The only other character I find to be pretty appealing is Jonah, because he is funny and he actually reacts the way a normal, non-insane person might in most situations. He is a great audience surrogate, and it is pretty cool that Riley, the other person who we are supposed to be able to relate to here, acts exactly like those kind of characters always do (dumbly) and Jonah calls her on it! Amazing.

Lauren's still whoring it up, even after getting roughed up and not paid (by Joan's husband from Mad Men! That guy is good at playing jerks!) and now Kimber from Nip/Tuck is going to be her madam. I bet this is going to work out super great for her.

Violet= insane. Ashley Simpson is killing me with her crazy eyes man! I just want her to stop being horrible, even though I am pretty sure it is physically impossible for her. When I watch her, I just feel so bad for the person who has to direct her scenes.

Riley talks to Violet in the same way I would imagine she talks to her first graders.

Ella gets all the best lines! "Agriculture is falls squarely in my no click zone." and "I don't think anyone's ever offered to destroy an enemy of mine before."

Did anyone NOT know that David was going to screw up his waitering job at the premiere and screw Auggie over? Anyone? Apparently Auggie didn't know that. Come on man.

It was way hot when David offered to take down Jane for Ella. I totally get why she slept with him. Too bad his blackmailing of her to get her to leave Ella alone didn't work. Ah well, maybe next time.

Next week: More whoring, more murder mystery. More story? Maybe?