Guess who's back? Krista's back! Back temporarily. To talk about 90210!

So I am finally, FINALLY not taking a class for five minutes of my life, and I decided that it was the perfect time to check in and talk about this season of 90210! Mostly because like 75% of what is going on is annoying the crap out of me, and it would really help me to get these emotions out.

I mean I understand the need for drama, but why does almost everything have to be terrible? For almost everyone? I mean they were practically playing the soundtrack to Schindler's List over the preview for next week's episode! So let's list the hateable things about this season so far. I'm telling you, we'll all feel better.

1. TEDDY LEFT! WTF show?! Teddy was pretty much the only character that I haven't wanted to punch at some point, even when he was being jerky or ridiculous. (Though the best part of last week's ep was when Ivy told him to stop whining and feeling sorry for himself and buck up, seeing as he is incredibly rich, handsome, white and healthy. He is kind of a whiner.) I like Teddy, and I was loving his friendship with Silver, and his romance was cute, and it is so lame that they wrote him out, especially since Annie continues to have a large role.

2. The entire Silver/Navid plot. I hate hate HATE television plots where the only real problem between two people is that one of them keeps lying about something stupid. Now, I will admit that 9021o gave Navid a pretty decent reason to lie to Silver. (I mean the cops told him to, and I suppose she is the type of person who would show up at his uncle's office screaming about how he's a car thief and she's on her way to report him to the police.) But still, it just seems insane to tell someone you just have to lie to them, without any other information for that person whatsoever. It also seems weird to dump your boyfriend after finding out he is in way over his head in some kind of insane high-end car thieving ring...oh no wait, I guess that makes sense. If I were Navid, I totally would have cracked and told Silver 20 minutes after that teenage cop told me not to. (Note to cops, I am not a good candidate for undercover work.) Anyway, I am pretty sure that Silver's new boyfriend's kid is gonna totally fall in love with her and think she's her new mommy and stuff, and then the whole Navid being 21 Jumpstreet will come out and it will take FOREVER for them to get back together because Silver will feel all guilty over the kid, and my annoyance will continue. (Yes, I pretty much just want them to get back together, they were cute, whatever.)

3. Ivy & Raj Faking being better and dumping your wife? Bad move Raj, especially since the entire point of you marrying her was so you could experience marriage before you died. I guess now he wants to experience divorce? Pro tip: it's not as fun.

5. Back from the dead Alaska Fisherman- This plot really had the makings for awesomeness, with the whole "banging-your-presumably-dead-friend's-prego-wife-and-then-it-turns-out-he's-not-actually-dead" thing, but instead they just hugged it out and the wife went back to Alaska with him. I was hoping for some kind of psycho stalking attempted murder or something.

8. Liam hates modeling- Why? Liam is super hot, but damn, no one wants to see some kid whine about how people want to take pictures of him because he is super hot. Just let him sexily own a bar and model on the side, and stop having stories based around jobs and money. They are boring and suck, and these people should just have money and shut up about it.

9. Annie and Dixon are broke See above. We know it's gonna work out, so instead of forcing Annie to turn tricks, let's just have them be all set with the inheritance money so they can move forward with drug problems, car accidents and the like. I mean whoring yourself out for your brother's rehab? That is just too depressing for 8pm on a Tuesday night.

10. Naomi's a bad girlfriend We know that, she's been a bad girlfriend since 90210 started. It is actually one of the only consistent character traits anyone on this show has ever had. I don't need be reminded of it again, twice, with two different guys in the first half of the season. (I miss Max. I am into nerd-love.)

11. Naomi caring SO MUCH about the Greek Council. She's gorgeous, beautiful, rich as hell, and apparently a talented event planner being groomed to take over a successful business when she's 20. Why would getting to be treasurer for her college's Greek Council even register at this point? Maybe this is because I went to a college where frats and sororities were thought of as havens for idiots, but this Greek life crap is totally uninteresting to me.

12. Vinny from Jersey Shore guesting on the show twice. Ugh.

There were also things I liked though, don't worry! They include:

-Liam's hair in this episode. He should go without bangs ALL THE TIME. Damn.

-Dixon and Adrianna are kind of cute, and I actually buy her transformation from evil to good.

-Liam owns a bar! It's so Peach Pit After Dark, I love it! (Oh Dylan McKay. I miss you.)

-Annie getting that mean grandson to let her have all Marla's money! Yay for not having to hear her worry about being broke anymore! I do think it's funny that she felt so entitled to the inheritance even before she knew the grandson was a jerk who couldn't care less about Marla. I mean she knew the woman for like, 6 weeks, tops. How does that make her more entitled to the money than Marla's actual family?

-Annie's "boyfriend" calling up and proposing some girl on girl action in Hawaii! That dude is all class. (I laughed super hard at this, so it counts as a like.)

-The girl who hit Liam deciding that she was going to run from the cops after she realized that he is a model with a big billboard. Also made me laugh super hard.

-Everyone lives in Naomi's mansion. Perfect.

-Holly and Naomi's rivalry being about something real (love of a mother!) instead of about something involving a sorority.

-The fact that Millie from Freaks and Geeks is still playing a teenager, 12 years after her Junior year at William McKinley High School.

Let's hope that Liam recovers fully and sexily from his motorcycle accident and never brushes his hair forward again. Also that Navid's Dad has returned to help get out from under his evil uncle's thumb, Silver ditches the old guy and gets back with him, and Dixon's drug problem rears it's ugly head again. (See, I don't want everything all happy-happy joy joy!) Also, I would like to hear Adrianna write a song about how she's sorry about trying to make Silver kill herself, and Naomi to just find herself a sex slave that likes to be dominated and do her bidding so she doesn't have to worry about whiny boyfriends. I also hope Holly develops an eating disorder and Annie gets nostalgic for her days as an escort and does it just for fun now that her money's come through. Oh, and that the dead Alaska fisherman comes back to get his revenge with a hook or something. That would be cool. And Teddy comes back and continues being awesome and stuff. And Raj lives! All of that should happen.

Next week: Well, if the soundtrack of the preview is anything to go by, the Holocaust, or something just as bad, I guess.

90210- I really wish I was in Ojai too.

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Okay, I've been shoveling snow for 5 hours, so even though I'm not exactly the yoga retreat type, right now I would be all over going to Ojai to get in touch with my feelings or whatever. Also, I would really love a chance to tell Adrianna she is a horrible person in a sweat lodge. Or wherever really.

Okay what was awesome?

- Everyone yelled at Adrianna (except Navid, which would also have been great.). It was amazing. They even pointed out that what she did was twisted and immoral! And that she was shallow and irritating! It made me so so happy

- Adrianna was likeable for like 5 seconds! She talked about giving up her baby for adoption, and how it affected her, she cried and seemed like the rounded, vulnerable interesting character she used to be. And then...well, she blew it pretty quickly and spectacularly.

- Charlie left! Now I don't have to hear his weird scratchy young Michael Jackson voice anymore. Yay!

- And Annie and Liam are together! Oh man, I don't know how I went from hating Annie to really rooting for her to be Liam, but here we are. I think I just want Liam to be happy.

- Annie had an awesome and incredibly loud meltdown about how she hated her stupid cousin, when said cousin was two doors down, and yet had no idea why the cousin might be acting weird. It was a stunning example of teenage obliviousness. Also, it was really funny. And the cousin is super annoying, so I kinda feel her on this one.

- Navid and Silver did it. In a tent, on a yoga retreat, with Adrianna about 50 feet away. It was hot.

- Dixon asked if his chest was getting too big. It was funny. Also, no, you look fine.

Some things sucked:

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- Emily, the annoying cousin. She is mean AND annoying, Also, even as a brunette, she's a dead ringer for Kelly Taylor, who I hate. (She STOLE Dylan while Brenda was in Paris! Disgusting.) Emily better keep her mitts of Liam. This character is a good idea though, because it is making me genuinely like Annie.

- Ryan/Deb ruined date. Nobody cares. Seriously, they're both off the show next season, so there really is no one that cares.

- Naomi is so obviously going get taken advantage of by that yoga guru and her weird sidekick. Probably even next week.

- ADRIANNA SELLING HER BABY STORY AND DECIDING TO GET HER BACK FOR PUBLICITY AND MONEY. I put that in all caps because it seems that she is the absolute worst person ever, just like I have been suspecting all season.

-Navid didn't dump Ade yet. Just dump her dude, she's terrible.

- No Teddy!

Next week: My DVR cut off the preview, but my guess is that Naomi is going to get taken advantage of by that yoga guru, Adrianna is going to continue being awful with almost zero consequences and Navid and Silver are going to agonize over their affair. Also, Liam and Annie will probably get it on a lot.

90210 is back, and so am I!

Luckily only one of us has tons of drama going on. We start off right where we left off, at Ade's stupid Christmas party. So we've got Navid (Michael Steger) and Silver (Jessica Stroup) kissing, Teddy (Trevor Donovan) and Ian (Kyle Riabko) kissing, Dixon (Tristan Michaels) and Cannon creeping (on Teddy/Ian and Naomi, respectively), Ade's big secret being revealed on TMZ or something and Liam (Matt Lanter) and Annie (Shenae Grimes) basking in the afterglow of doing it. And now, things are about to get crazy.

cwtv.comMr. Cannon, looking psychotown.

Let's just go at these dramas from biggest to smallest, because today, that's how I roll.

Naomi/Cannon/Silver- This part had it all! Knives, almost murder, yelling, tears, and horrible horrible plans. Let's be real here, Cannon's plan was incredibly terrible. Tying up former victims and almost-victims and making them say that it was all made up on video, where there are clearly under duress? Then stealing one his victims trust funds? Sure dude, that's gonna make you look totally innocent. I'm sure your wife will coming running to find you under your next assumed name. What a coincidence that the guy Naomi fake-accused of sexual harassment was a real-rapist. That's just bad luck right there. Anyway, I thought AnnaLynn McCord did a pretty good job during the whole "Ima gonna kill him" scene, and the dude who plays Cannon brought it for that one as well, even though he was kind of over the top for the rest of the hostage situation. Though I usually really like her, Jessica Stroup was really doing it for me in the scenes. I guess "oh-my-god-we're-gonna-die" kind of acting just isn't her thing.

On a side note, I watched O.G. 90210 this weekend (along with Shenae Grimes in Degrassi, I was really preparing for this!) and when Erin came on my boyfriend yelled "It's baby Silver!" and it was awesome.

Ivy/Dixon- This storyline become a drama-filled frontrunner when Ivy almost died!

cwtv.comIvy, about to fake an injury.

I found it sort of weird that after saving her life, Dixon just left. "Hey, glad you didn't die, I'm out!" I mean this was a girl that a few weeks ago, he was in true love with. I'm pretty sure I would stay to make sure my worst enemy was okay and not traumatized after almost drowning, but apparently Dixon is still really mad about the whole Oliver thing. It's kind of creepy how pissed he is that he doesn't get to take Ivy's virginity. Dixon is pretty much being a huge creep this entire episode though, so it makes sense. Anyway, after all the near death drama, Ivy is apparently cleared to compete in some surf meet, and then fakes an injury to get out of it because she is too scared to surf. Which, duh Ivy, of course. You almost died about an hour ago, so maybe you're not quite ready to get back up on the board again.

Adrianna/Navid/Silver- Speaking of PTSD, Ade is faking it to try and get out of the fact that she is essentially a grave robber, but it ain't working. So of course, even though Navid was gonna dump her and then eventually be with Silver, he feels like he can't because she is such a wreck. I don't really get this, because she is just facing the consequences for a totally awful thing that she has done, so I don't really think he should feel bad for dumping her on her ass. I mean just get her to rock bottom faster Navid, she'll thank you later. This show just loves to keep the couples I like apart, doesn't it.

cwtv.com Liam and Charlie make up from their feud that makes no sense.

Liam/Annie/Charlie- Yes it does! Because even after making me kind of like Annie and want her to be with Liam, now this show is keeping them apart as well! I feel so betrayed 90210. You made me root for Annie! And then, just like that, you revealed that the reason Liam hated his brother so much was completely stupid and senseless (I maintain there is NO WAY this was the plan all along, because they did everything they could to make Charlie seem kind of sinister.) So anyway, when they were little kids, one time, Charlie was mean to Liam and let him get beat up by their evil uncle. But Charlie himself was beat by the evil uncle many many times, and was only mean to Liam to make him leave (which...wouldn't the beatings make you leave?). So pretty much the story doesn't make sense, Liam being crazy mad and refusing to even hear his brother out doesn't make any sense, and now, Annie and Liam cannot be together. So blech. Also, Annie has an annoying cousin who wants to take over her life, and I gotta tell you, I'm not looking forward to that storyline.

At the bottom of the drama rung, we have Teddy/Ian/Dixon. Basically Dixon saw Teddy and Ian kissing, and then acted like a 10 year old about it, asking Navid "why would two guys kiss?" and then being all cage and weird and afraid Teddy is going to hit on him at any minute. In the end, he just asks Teddy about it and Teddy lies for like 5 seconds before saying he didn't want to talk about and not to tell anyone. Don' t trust him Teddy, since he's morphed into a tween, the whole school should know in about 8 hours.

Next week:
The girls go on a spa day or something? The previews almost totally ruin this show. I hate you CW promo makers.