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Starting with... Ryan Matthews drunk! Oh it was a sight to behold. Mustard stained shirt. Chili dog hands. The sputtering. The "Taxi Driver" quoting. The way he totally horrified his students. Weirdly, I found this drunken version of Ryan Matthews way hotter than pretty much any other version. I don't know if that says something bad about me or the character, but I think you and I both know I'm going with "the character" on this one. Let's be honest, the guy ran into his ex girlfriend and her husband, which might be a perfectly fine excuse to have a drink or two, to even get a little drunk, but the level of homeless person drunkeness that this guy got to just because he talked to his ex for about thirty seconds was a little unnecessary. And also, amazing. It was beautiful. Because it was my favorite thing ever to happen, let's look at it again, real quick:
Okay so now that we are done basking in the glory that is "Ryan Matthews wasted", we can move onto the rest of the episode, which was kind of hit or miss.
More things to love include:
-Dixon and Ivy! Dixon is doing a lot of turnarounds this season, from idiot to cutie and back again, and in this episode, he was definitely rocking the cutie vibe. Mexican Cokes! The dude is a keeper. This week at least. And ivy deserves to have a nice boyfriend who goes to many different taco trucks to prepare a date for her! She's a cool chick!
-Teddy and Silver! Yeah, I'm back on that wagon, even if the "problem every 30 seconds" thing is getting a little tired. After his admission that he was in love with her, I pretty much melted. I've never seen so many people so concerned about the future of a hot, rich white guy though. Listen up everybody "HE'S GONNA BE OKAY!"
-Brace yourselves for this one, because I can't even believe it myself but...Annie and Liam? Maybe? Do I maybe kind of like them together? Maybe. It's probably mostly the Liam factor working for me here, because Annie hasn't changed enough for me to really like her on her own. She still makes an insane amount of weird faces, is a terrible listener (though not as bad as Naomi!) and annoys the crap out of me. These facts will never change. Trust.
-Naomi being a selfish idiot. I feel bad for Liam and everything, but choosing her over Ivy was always gonna end this way. She is who she is man. Also I am not going to even feel bad for her when her boyfriend falls for Annie.
-Oh Naomi screwing Jen over! That was awesome for the five seconds that is seemed like it might possibly be true!
-Adrianna and Navid on the boardwalk! It's TRUE LOVE guys, just admit it.
Things I hated, with a crazy insane passion:
-Jen's return. I hate the way she talks, I hate the weird way she purses her lips and squints her eyes when she's trying to be intimidating. I hate the how she opens her eyes all big and innocent when she is trying to seem nice. I hate her bony shoulders. I hate everything about her, and I hope that she is dropped in a vat of acid at the end this season. That is all.
Things I just sort of wasn't into:
-Adrianna and Javier singing and stuff. You know I love me some Ade, but this storyline just isn't doing it for me for some reason.
-Also, it is super dumb that Navid was all upset and stuff when he heard her tell Javier that "there was no one special" because as far as she knew, he had a girlfriend. 'Oh man, sorry Navid, for not wanting to come off as a desperate loser to some famous guy that I just met an hour ago by admitting to him that I'm still in love with my nerdy ex boyfriend who dumped me for kissing another dude and also has a girlfriend! I totally get why you are all brokenhearted and betrayed. Makes total sense.' Right on Ade! You make him jealous with that famous Jonas-brother like guy!
-Teddy/Silver/Dad- Silver was cute when she met him, and I liked that he 'surprisingly' liked her. (I was not surprised) but I am just not into the whole "forbidden to be together" thing. It just doesn't seem like a narcissistic movie star would even have time to keep his kid away from some girl on a Vespa.
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-Ugh I hate that Liam's dad turned out to be a deadbeat! I totally saw it coming and was hoping they were going to subvert my expectations. (What? Come on, it's possible that 90210 was going to subvert my expectations. It is!)
-Liam just trusts anyone who is kind of nice to him doesn't he? That just makes me feel really bad for him. Also, it kind of makes me relate to him a little. Oh dear.
-Harry and Deb. I pretty much don't care, but I have to say that if I had adopted an 8 year old from a drug addict and created a pretty decent home for him, I would not let some hot yoga instructor OR some weird work crush OR some murky undefinable distance between my spouse and I (contract negotiations, maybe), cause me to get a divorce and destroy the only stability he has ever known. Unless it turned out I really didn't like him much and wanted to just give him that final push to be screwed up for life. Which I guess they could feel about Dixon, because he can be really annoying, but I think maybe they've misplaced their antipathy towards Annie onto him. My advice for Harry and Deb? Suck it up for a couple more years, then go and bang all the yoga instructors and guidance counselors you want.
Just in case you forgot what was awesome about this episode, I leave you with one final pic:
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Next week: Adrianna + Navid is SO about to = Love again. I can feel it.
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