Melrose Place- it giveth, it taketh away.

So I think this week's Melrose Place episode, "Stoner Canyon" (Do not ask me, I do not have any idea where the names of these episodes originate. And yes, I am TRYING to stop obsessing about it, but it's hard, okay?!) can be easily divided into two categories. Things I loved, and things I hated. (It's a simple show people.)

Things I loved:

Ella (Katie Cassidy) and Jonah (Michael Rady)! Together! All vulnerable and stuff! (But if you break her heart, Jonah Miller, I swear, I WILL become a fictional character and get you!)

Jonah changing the ending of his movie (which, I have to say, sounds worse and worse the more I hear it described.) to reflect the fact that it turns out Riley (Jessica Lucas) SUCKS.

David (Shaun Sipos) explaining to Michael (Thomas Calabro) like 10 times that when he slept with Vanessa (Scary Brooke Burns), it was before Michael and she knew each other. "Before you even met." "You didn't even know each other." "You hadn't even met her." Let me reiterate Dad, YOU DID NOT KNOW EACH OTHER.

Michael actually being a doctor instead of a psycho.

Amanda (Heather Locklear) Googling "pain in chest and shortness of breath" after being told she had just lost 15 million dollars and then acting like Michael was crazy when he suggested she was having panic attacks. She is so much dumber than I thought.

Also, Amanda being really insecure about bearded Billy Campbell and other women. The dragon lady is fallible!

They all still seem like actual friends instead of strangers who live in the same building like they did before the break.

Things I hated:

Michael blackmailing Lauren to break David's heart. For one this is crazy, and for two, I think someone as smart as Lauren could figure a way to get out of it. Like say, telling David Michael is threatening her and that she wants to pretend to break up so that he will back off and stop being a psycho boss. Then she can keep her whorish ways a secret and NOT break David's heart. She is dumb if she goes through with this. Like, 'Googling "chest pain and shortness of breath" after being told she lost 15 million dollars' dumb.

Ugh Nick Zano's entire character, whose every move I predicted throughout the entire show. He does look better thinner and less muscley though, so I'll give you that, Zano. (I thought he was named Drew from the show, but CW website is calling him Nick. I am just going to wait and see who's right.)

The fact that Nick (or Drew) is all into Lauren and these two are probably going to hook up. Poor David.

Riley.

The fact that bearded Billy Campbell was nice to Riley and funded her project.

The fact that everyone acts like Riley is so pretty when Ella is clearly just as pretty or prettier than her.

That Jonah at some point in his life thought Riley was really funny.

Here's hoping:

Nick (or Drew) and Riley get together and pull a Violet and Auggie and ride off into the sunset forever.

Next week:

Riley kisses bearded Billy Campbell! I guess Amanda was totally right to be insecure about him! I cannot wait until she brings down her righteous life-ruining fire down on Riley!