"Oh my effing God!" Gossip Girl, Episode 2

"Oh my effing God!" was Blair's awesome reaction discovering that Nate and Catherine (who is also Marcus', the LORD's, stepmother, the DUCHESS) are sleeping together. Then she quickly recovers herself, and uses it to her advantage, because she rules.

There were more than a few awesome lines in this episode, including Nate's "If the best case scenario is me becoming Blair's father in law, I think it's time to move on" and Dan's "She actually calls him 'the Lord'?" Everything Chuck said was awesome, in case you were wondering.

There was so much craziness with Blair trying to make sure Marcus stayed with her and Chuck trying to get rid of Marcus that the Gossip Girl herself had her mind blown, so you know that it was good.

Chuck was all over the place being evilsexy as usual, but he was also being nicesexy too, trying to save his BFF Nate from ending up the in poor house.

Three things were angering me in this episode, and they were as follows.

1. Dan. Oh. My. God. You slept with Serena's evil ex-best friend just a few months ago, and if she's willing to look past that just say "thank you" and start making out. You do not need any more "alone time", Downer Dan. Seriously.

2. Nate. Oh poor Nate, everyone cares about him and wants to give him millions of dollars to help him. Hey Nate, maybe if you just keep repeating "I'll handle it" over and over again you'll think of something. No? Didn't work? I guess you'll just have to become a manwhore for Duchess then.

3. Rufus. Are he and Vanessa going to have an affair or something? Why are they in every scene together? Also, how could he contemplate for even a second going on another tour and abandoning his children in the exact same way that their horrible mother did? Good thing his kids aren't math whizzes or something, because I'll bet seeing Dan's calculator and Jenny's multiplication tables instead of all their "creative" crap wouldn't have reminded him that he actually liked them at all. "Oh I guess I can stand to be around my kids, since they do all this creative stuff like me! As long as they continue to be like me, I will continue to love them." You really suck Rufus.

Next week. SO MUCH evilsexy from Chuck! The Gods must be pleased with us.

XOXO!