The REAL Serena? Once again, it's time for Gossip Girl!

I'm ready, so let's just dive in:

THE GOOD:

1. I can't lie, I think I was way more surprised than Dan at how fast my sweet, earthy Serena went back to evil bitch queen!  Dan the douche did always think the worst of her though.  HA!  She will take you down jerkface!  She already did.  And it wasn't even hard. (I think America Ferrera was right!  Gossip Girl is making me mean! No, that's not it. I just really hate Dan.)  I hope she doesn't get too evil though.  Her hair will still be pretty no matter what. 

2. Marcus and the Duchess!  That woman has a hunger for young men that can not be satisfied. I cannot believe that Marcus started to cry when they were found out!  It made me think she was abusing him or something.  She is kind of scary.  He obviously has a thing for scary women.  

3. LILY!  It's true, I have a severe weakness for van der Woodsens.  I love them and all of their making-Humphreys-less-odious ways.  There is one to make you hate each Humphrey a little less.  Lily made me forget my Rufus hatred for about a minute by coming home from her honeymoon and basically attempting to date him without his knowledge.  He likes Repo Man! (That's some really odd shorthand for cool by the way.) Then the idiot shot her down when she said she needed a friend!  Because that's what you do when really love someone.  

4. I actually really love how half of the plot lines of this show could not happen without the aid of cell-phone photography.  As an avid cell-phone photographer myself (ask me about the epic "Krista in the Car" series sometime) , I understand the value of this technology.  I haven't caught any illicit affairs with my phone yet, but I am always at the ready.

5. Blair getting her revenge!  She didn't lie down and cry when she found out about Marcus and his gross mommy-schtupping ways!  She secured poor manwhore Nate's freedom from his bondage and got evil Catherine and simpering Marcus out of town! Oh I can only say "HA!" about that.  Except that all of it was undone, which leads me to...

THE BAD.

1. Vanessa.  How did it feel to be on my like list?  Did it make you feel warm and fuzzy?  Was it good?  Apparently not that good, because you didn't even try to remain on it!  If there is one thing you can trust Blair Waldorf to do, it is to take down those who have wronged her.  I loved how it was the classic TV "look at a situation for 10 seconds, decide what's going and then turn away just as it becomes clear that you were completely wrong about it" thing.   Maybe it could have been written a little better, or maybe this show truly wants me to think that Vanessa is a total moron.  I thought home-schooled kids were supposed to be smart!

2. Jenny.  Jenny has never been on my like list.  She was evil and now she's just insipid. I have no desire to see those weird flunkies who cannot act bully her all year.  They both act way too much with their necks.  It's very strange.  

3. Rufus, you suck!  (I had to mention it again.)  

4.  Why does CW.com hate Serena?  I can never find a decent picture of her on there.

5.  Dan.  Am I supposed to feel bad for him?  Well, if I am then this show should really have him stop yelling at Serena.  That makes me angry.

6.  Okay, I know they are all rich kids and everything, but are there really bars in NYC where high school kids can go and order Belvedere Martinis?  I am sheltered, so maybe they do exist.  The police should really crack down on those.  

THE AWESOME!

CHUCK is pulling the strings!  He was behind the entire crazy Dan/Serena battle for dating supremacy in some convoluted, evilsexy plan to have Serena usurp Blair, causing her to lose all self-esteem and come running to him!  Or something like that.  He probably made Catherine and Marcus do it and arranged for Vanessa to find them too!  He's probably done something to trick me into writing this paragraph about how awesome he is so that Blair will see it and realize that she is meant to be with him and his evilsexiness no matter how many airports and helipads he plans to abandon her on!  That's right, Chuck Bass has stepped from the land of fiction into reality to get me to write this.  That is how awesome of a puppet master he is.  Whatever you are doing right now, it is probably because of him.  

Next week:

Things are going bad between B and S!  I don't like it.  Not one bit.

XOXO!