The End of The World As We Know It: Mad Men, Season 3, Episode 11, The Gypsy and the Hobo

It happened. The thing Don Draper has been been fearing since the day he took that name, since the day he got married, since the day he got his job, since the day his first child was born, that thing happened. Betty, the person from which he has been hiding so much, found out who he really was. She threw his real identity out in the open, exposed it to the light and...comforted him. She saw that her husband, both the man he was and the man she thought he was had been destroyed, and that someone new was being reborn in front of her. She saw that by exposing Dick Whitman she was effectively killing Don Draper. So she put her arm around him and watched him go.

This was a packed episode, but the long scenes between Don and Betty where he confesses everything (or almost everything...there was an accident? they made a mistake? hmm. so close.) to her were the heart of the show this week. Both Jon Hamm and January Jones gave amazing performances in these scenes, with Jones capturing Betty as a cool, calm, angry interrogator, and Hamm showing us Don Draper deteriorating before our eyes. When Betty says "You know I know what's in that drawer!" Hamm's face told us everything. He didn't know, and he is flat out terrified about what this means for his life. But instead of reaching for a story or running to the door, he sits, and he tells her. That his life is a lie, "a lie so big" that he cannot even light his own cigarette as he prepares to explain it. This is the thing he feared. This is was supposed to be the worst day of his life, but strangely, he sleeps soundly after the confrontation. Could unburdening himself to Betty bring down the walls between them? Could she learn to love this new man, who's life and past has now been revealed to her? Shockingly to Don, Betty learning the truth about him does not end their marriage, or his life. At least not yet. Maybe she is figuring out what to do next, maybe she is waiting to see what he'll do next, or maybe she is going to try and find out what it is like to be married to someone new, someone who is not a total mystery to her anymore.

Throughout these intense scenes, there is another layer of suspense because we the viewers know that Suzanne Farrell is waiting in the car for Don to return so they can go on a trip! I think Don forgets about her the moment he realizes Betty knows, but we never do! When poor Suzanne finally slinks away in the night, I feel I may have misjudged her. Maybe she's not a woman on the verge, maybe she is just a different kind of woman. Someone kind and sweet and peace-loving and unconventional stuck in a time when none of that was what someone looked for in a woman. Or a person. She might just be a woman ahead of her time, who really wants to know if Don's okay, and who really believes that she can enter into an affair with a married man and not form an attachment. We'll see if she proves me wrong and goes totally cuckoo, but I kind of wonder if Matthew Weiner created this character to challenge not just the expectations of the characters, but the expectations of the viewers.

I loved the scenes of the family trick or treating at the end. Even if Carlton's question was a little too on the nose "And what are you supposed to be?" it highlighted for the viewers the shift in paradigm they are about to see. Now that our protagonist has lost his Don Draper identity at home, who is he going to be now? He can't be the same man he was before with Betty, so can he be a new man there and the old Don Draper at work? Or will there be a new identity in both places? The question is asked, because Don doesn't know the answer yet. Can he become the kind of loving husband and father he wants to be now that he is freed of his past? Can he share the power of the household with his wife? And if he can't, what is to become of him now that she knows? I absolutely cannot wait to see the last two episodes of the season to find out.

There were two other amazing plots this week that I would be remiss if I didn't talk about. They featured two of my fave characters on the show Roger and Joan. I loved learning more about Roger's past, and seeing him act like a wise and mature man. There was a moment where I kind of wanted him to cheat on his 20 year old wife with the more age appropriate Annabell, but in the end I am glad that he did the right thing. I am not so sure though, that when he told Annabell she wasn't the one, that he was thinking of his young wife Jane. Staying late and making phone calls on Joan's behalf is really not something I see Roger doing for just any old fling. And when he tells his buddy, "she's important to me" you can tell that he really really means it.

(ROGER AND JOAN FOREVA!!)

It was incredibly satisfying to see Joan hit her rapist husband over the head with that vase, even if his line was again, a little too 'on the nose' for me. Christina Hendricks' face after he told her she didn't know what it was like to work for something for her whole life and not get it sold it for me. So what will become of Dr. Greg now? Will he die in Vietnam? Will he come back a broken man that Joan has to take care of for the rest of her life? Nothing about this story makes me think there will be any kind of happy ending for Joan, and it is so awful to see such a smart, beautiful, capable woman tied to a Neanderthal and trapped in this situation. Maybe my lame little girl fantasies of her and Roger finding thier way back to one another will come true, but that isn't really how this show works, so she'll probably be trapped in this hell forever.

Two episodes left people! I can't wait.

Melrose Place "Windsor" Ok, did I miss what significance the title has?

Ok Melrose Place, somehow you got me a little bit on this, for reasons I can't fully explain. I mean we had Jo, being mean to Riley in the most transparent "I am unsatisfied with my life choices so I am going to berate you about yours" tantrum I have ever seen, Riley being a total baby about the whole thing, and Ella in some ridiculous hat for the entire episode, but somehow, I still found it a little bit compelling.

The whole Jo (Daphne Zuniga) thing was kind of silly, as any sane person (including Ella (Katie Cassidy)) was pretty much like, "This bitch has gone crazy." Then it all comes back to the fact that she thinks she is a sell-out, so it totally makes sense that she would decide that Riley is a sell-out for being a teacher. Cause that makes sense. On about 0 levels. How can you be "selling-out" by taking a job for no money? Or by trying modeling one time? Nothing she said about Riley made any sense whatsoever.

But of course, Riley (Jessica Lucas) dumbly took to heart, because she is dumb. So now she is all ready to dump her fiance because this insane photographer chick told her that after she left her fiance 100 years ago, "That's when my life really began.." Ok. Sure. Maybe that is true, but why are people giving and taking advice from people they just met and know nothing about?! This is a really dumb way to put doubt in Riley's mind about her and Jonah getting married.

The whole Auggie (Colin Egglesfield) coming between them makes a little more sense, and I liked Jonah (Michael Rady) connecting with the movie exec from Philly or whatever. The Jonah/Auggie confrontation was a little weird, as they acted and it was scored as if they were talking about finding out that someone had murdered someone else, not that someone had drunkenly kissed someone else. Also, I feel like a good friend would have texted Riley to give her the heads up on that little "She kissed me!" slip.

I don't really get how everyone relates to everyone else. Sometimes it seems like they are supposed to be friends (Lauren being INCREDIBLY, like to the degree of a stalker, worried about David's activities is an example), but other times I just don't see some of the characters being even friendly. Like Ella and Riley seem to actively dislike each other, Auggie and Jonah don't strike me as friends, and David doesn't seem to be friends with Jonah or Riley at all...I don't know, like are they all longtime friends, just neighbors, some are friends and other aren't? I don't know. MAKE IT CLEARER PLEASE.

I can't really believe Lauren (Stephanie Jacobsen) the hooker was so judgmental and crazy about David (Sean Sipos) stealing. You are a hooker! You can't take his money because it is stolen, but you have no problem whoring yourself out for it?!! 'Where does your moral compass point' indeed woman!

Violet (Ashlee Simpson-Wentz), stop being so clearly insane. People are starting to notice. Not Auggie though, so keep crushing on him like the weirdo that you are.

Ella, why did you wear that insanely ridiculous outfit to the photo shoot? Did you lose some kind of bet? Were you hoping that you would take Riley out with it or something?

Jonah, do you really think that some big time movie producer is just going to remake your movie as is? Are you that naive that you think that you won't have to compromise yourself even the teeniest bit to become a millionaire? Oh well a hot girl told you that you wouldn't have to, so I am sure you won't now. Have fun living in Pretend-land dude!

I love that we had another "I totally used to live here, how weird!" moment.

So as you can see I can't explain it all, but for once I had no problem paying attention to this show AND I was kind of interested to see what happened! Who knows why, tighter editing or something? I really don't know.

And now I have to wait until November 3rd for another episode. Unwise Melrose Place!

90210-"Unmasked" This title has very little to do with the contents of the episode.

So two things made this episode of 90210 about 100 times more awesome than the last one.

1. No Jen
2. Yes Liam!

My love of Liam is no secret, and even though his story line was incredibly obvious and a little dumb, it still made me happy. Here are things I loved about it:

-Liam was onscreen a lot. Getting all angry-hot and stuff.

-He wasn't whining about Naomi, who let's be honest, is pretty annoying most of the time.

-Ivy seems cool, surfs and is a feminist, so now I can't wait for their inevitable (next week?!!) "OMG I thought of you as just a friend but now I see we are MEANT for each other.

-The non-Halloween costume jokes were a thing of beauty. My favorite had to be: "You're Pattinson, right? I can tell cause your hair is messy."

So Liam/Ivy gets my seal of approval. Though why he wouldn't take her money in the beginning after he hits her completely baffles me. She hit your car! Take her money man, don't just rage out like a psycho!

Speaking of psychos, it could not be clearer that Jasper is one. We had like two or three Annie/Jasper scenes, and when the second one came up I was like "Oh, I forgot about these two!" Annie is dumb, I can't wait for her to get arrested for stealing that Bentley. She actually fell for the line "You're my muse babe." Eww. I think the reason I stopped noticing her weird face-making is because I stopped paying attention to her stupid storyline.

Speaking of weird face making, Naomi is all over that this week! She looked like she actually was miming eating that Jamie guy in her first, and then kept getting all shaky faced whenever he around. Subtlety, they name is not AnnaLynn McCord. Glad she dumped that annoying environmentalist guy and is now trying to get over Liam with a guy whose thighs "countries would go to war over." He's no Liam though, come on!

I did like that Naomi and Adrianna were all worried about Silver taking care of her cancerous (in more ways than 1) mom, and the payoff of Naomi spilling to Teddy was good. Of course Teddy and Silver are totally going to fall in love now, bonding over cancer-mom. Adrianna is going to be SO PISSED.

I kind of love Teddy I think. He's so dumb, it cannot NOT be endearing.

And now onto my two least fave storylines:

1. Harry/Deb/Kelly

-Deb you are crazy.

-Harry you are dumb.

-Kelly you are transparent. (but your hair looked great in that first scene with Silver!)

Also, Harry and Deb you are the WORST "good parents" I have ever seen! Your daughter has had a total personality change, been the victim of a sext and stopped being friends with your son, who sneaks out at night and acts like a jerk all the time. And all you guys can talk about is whether fricken Kelly has a crush on Harry? Really?
You suck.

2. Sasha/Dixon

(I absolutely love that the only pics I could find of Dixon he is wearing this.)


They can't have another pregnancy on this show so fast, could they? I mean she referenced Dawson's Creek, so that puts her squarely in the 26-29 age range. This is a person who is dating someone in high school, 10 years younger than her, and was being totally controlling and weird to him. So I think she has definitely been shown to be someone who would fake a pregnancy to keep her high school boy toy. Right? I am so glad this is all blowing up in Dixon's face though, because he is a jerk.



Next week: Liam + Ivy = LOVE. Also, Navid. I missed him this week.

Days of Sink or Swim: Mad Men Season 3, Episode 10, "The Color Blue"

Sorry about missing the last two eps! I am hoping to get to them at some point, but I figured I would do this week's episode relatively on time while I still had the chance. (I was sick, in a wedding, went to NYC...excuses excuses...)

I love to be able to agree with Roger, and when he told Don in the last episode that he was in over his head, he couldn't have been more right.

Don is getting sloppy, in his personal life and his work life. Last season, everything he touched was gold, and he seemed to have a preternatural ability to know what people wanted to hear and how to handle almost everyone. This season, Don is lost about how to deal with Hilton, too preoccupied with his own need for Hilton's approval to understand how to deal with this kind of eccentric. Now that he is tied to his work life by a contract and his home life by an infant, you can see him chafing. By hiding the $5,000 signing bonus in his 'secret drawer', he is letting himself believe, just the tiniest bit, that he could run if he wanted to.

But deep down he knows he can't run. And he's getting reckless. The affair with the teacher seems to be doomed from the start, with both of them running wild eyed at each other. He wants her, and that makes this affair a little more dangerous than the ones we've seen before. Bobbi, Rachel, Midge...these women wanted him first, and were clear about it. Ms. Farrell played just that little bit hard to get and drew him in, and now he seems hooked, despite her off kilter behavior. The first scene between them revealed something kind of interesting about Don that I don't think we've seen too much of before. Even though he seems so intelligent, so worldly most of the time, he was so easily drawn into her silly, stoner questions about the color of blue, spinning it into the beautiful Don Draper prose in no time. "People may see things differently, but they don't really want to." Don sees the shallow, silly conversation with Ms. Farrell as one with some kind of depth, even though, as my friend Eric put it "She gets her wisdom from 8 year olds." There is something about her that is fascinating to him, and maybe it just the answer to the question he asked her in last week's ep..."Who are you?"

Don's old tricks aren't working at work, and they aren't working at home either. The baby's cries interrupt him and cause him to leave the key to his drawer of secrets (one should not have those!) where Betty can find it. I love the scene where Betty finds the box, trying desperately to use these items to put together some of the mystery of the man she is married to. As she waits for him to come home and face her confrontation, she loses more and more of her will to fight him, to stand for the lies he will surely tell to cover all this. So she becomes "pretty mommy", his radiant wife, and watches him lap up all the praise at the Sterling-Cooper 40th. He is happy, or at least he looks happy, and Betty sees the chance to know him slipping away, replaced, for now, with the chance to be him. To look as if you are someone entirely different than who you are on the inside, to have all the money, all the praise, to have everything. For all of the other characters on the show, Don is the person want to be. He has it all, and it seems to come so easy to him. He hides his deep unhappiness so well, and only shows the world, even his wife, his attractive facade.

Other thoughts:

Paul vs. Peggy: I think Paul realized that Peggy is incredibly talented at what she does, and unfortunately for him, far more talented than he is. He is a man with a big ego, but maybe he will try to learn from her instead of trying to take her down...we'll see how smart he is.

Don and Ms. Farrell's brother: Shades of his own brother, Adam? "I swore to myself I'd do this right once." Of course he sympathized with the kid's need to run away. "It seems bad now, but you can still change things." Does Don think this is still true?

Roger's mother thinking Jane was his daughter, Margaret was great. "Does Mona know?" Jane seemed so annoyed.

Bert Cooper looked so fragile in this episode! I loved the exchange between he and Layne- "Who told you I was vain?"

Even after the Brits decide to sell the company he has worked so hard to improve and his wife makes fun of his utter devotion to his bosses, Layne still does their bidding and gets Bert Cooper to the party. A company man for life?

How does Lois still have a job?! She cut a man's foot off drunkenly driving a lawnmower!

Next week:

Joan! Yay!

Only three episodes, left, so I better see more Sal soon!

Melrose Place-Doctor, hookers and art thieves and I'm still no that into it!

I shall apologize for my late post, I am recovering from being sick AND being in a wedding, so, you understand, I am sure.

We got a lot of this guy in this week's ep.

We get a lot of Michael Mancini this week, which I'm not complaining about really, but it just wasn't as awesome as I want it to be. That is pretty much how I feel about every episode of this show, so I won't blame the good Dr. for it. So what did we learn about our illustrious cardiac specialist this week?

-He's married to Bruce Willis's ex-girlfriend, Brooke Burns, who is a beautiful woman, but for some reason really freaks me out. Her face has haunted my nightmares since the first time I saw it. So needless to say, I am not enthused about this development.

-He's controlling and weird with David (telling Lauren he has to report how he got all beat up to him AS SOON as she knows) yet knows the dude is some kind of jewel/art thief and seems to be pretty cool with it.

-Has a weakness for crazy redheads. (But who doesn't on this show?!)

-Has son with freaky face wife, wife doesn't seem to be to into the kid. So they're both good parents! No wonder his other kid is an art thief! That's aiming high with these people's parenting techniques! At least thieving art takes some skills!

This week, Michael had the misfortune to meet with Sydney's insane possible daughter, Violet. I know Violet is insane, and I have to admit I am getting that from Ashlee Simpson-Wentz's performance...but I think she's playing it a tad...campy shall we say?

Just look at her face in this picture. Overplaying it much?

So now Violet is going to destroy Michael with their sex tape. I have to imagine that if freaky face Brooke Burns knows her husband at all, she knows he's cheating on her at every opportunity. Bummer for her if not.

Two more things about Violet:

-Faking a heart problem with Red Bull? How is she not the murderer?!

-It is gross that now Sydney has done Micheal's son and Michael has done Sydney's daughter. Now if Violet just does David a disgusting circle of life will be complete.

So we know Michael is Sydney's former husband/lover, David's dad, Violet's conquest, AND he is Lauren's boss! What a small world the people of Melrose Place live in. Do you think he was ever like, "Oh weird Lauren you live in MP? I used to live there too! Crazy!" They probably didn't talk about it, he seems pretty serious at work.

So Lauren's still ho-ing it up, and is apparently up for some paid orgies (to prove she doesn't have a "versatility problem" as Kimber the madam puts it), but is not up for being caught by David. Are these two kind of into each other? Possibly. I kind of can't be bothered to care though, because two weeks ago it seemed like the little thief and Ella were into each other, so who knows. They are just throwing stuff against the wall and seeing what sticks at this point.

As for the Ella/Jonah/Riley triangle all I really have to say about it is, Ella is awesome, Riley is annoying. I loved it when Ella actually gagged when Jonah and Riley were being all cutesy together. I do not get why every dude, gay or straight, who meets Riley is so completely charmed by her. Jonah's cute though, I have to agree on that.

No movement on the "Who killed Sydney" plot by the way. I guess we got that out of the way last week with all the "Maybe it was Ella!" stuff.

For "Next Week" I'm going straight to my notes: "riley kisses auggie? weird. auggie yells crazy style."

90210- Dumbness abounds.

Sorry for the late post and for missing last week's ep! Deathly illness + best friends' wedding = no blogging. Sorry 90210!

So, last week on 90210 we found out that Jackie Taylor (Kelly and Silver's mom) has cancer and is dying, and for some weird reason she decided that Adrianna was the best person to confide this to. I guess because they are both in AA? Good thing for her that summer school bond is strong, because she marches over and informs Silver.

Also last week: Sasha found out that stupid Dixon is a teenager and was at first appropriately pissed off and grossed out, and then decided that she wanted to sleep with him one.more.time. I guess we already know that Dixon knows his way around the bedroom, since Silver got his name tattooed on her after sleeping with him one time, but we are shown this fact again when Sasha cannot keep her adult hands off his teenage body. Eww.

This week we are plunged right into the action (or pointless non action) of the whirlwind romance of Annie and the nephew of the guy she thinks she killed, Jasper. This storyline made me ask many questions aloud in the air, such as:

Is Jasper supposed to be creepy? (On the no side, he's a film geek who saves girls from date rapists. On the yes side, he follows people on a date to secluded places, acts like the idea that might have a knife is crazy and then...has a knife.)

Why would Annie believe the word of a guy who took a naked picture of her that she didn't consent to and then showed it around the school?

Who would ever go on a date with a guy who has to say the sentence "I never meant to hurt you with that sext." to you?!!

Will date rapists ever learn a better line than "Don't be a tease"? Girls, if a guy says that to you, hit him in the balls and run. It's a very good chance that he's a date rapist.

Has Shanae Grimes stopped making so many weird faces, or do I just not notice it anymore?

Is Annie the dumbest person on this show? Because something about starting a romance with a maybe-creepy, definitely not well adjusted kid whose uncle you are pretty sure you killed doesn't scream MENSA to me.

Also dumb? Naomi. And Ryan Matthews, teacher of the year. How can these people not see that Jen is SO CLEARLY evil. She could not be more transparent. I mean she actually said to Naomi "This horse is going to make me, I mean, us a lot of money." Doesn't Naomi ever watch TV? Villains and other nefarious types say this kind of thing all the time on Law and Order, old movies and soap operas! Wake up idiots! I know one of you (Ryan) just wants to sleep with her and the other one of you (Naomi) just needs some family love, but this chick is evil. Just kill her or something because I hate her so so much.

The whole Jackie Taylor is dying and trying to be a good mom storyline was pretty good. I can't believe that Kelly is trying to bar Silver from seeing her dying mother. This does not seem to be a good parenting technique with an obviously rebellious teenager. I mean she's wearing one long earring and one little stud! She's edgy Kelly, don't try to keep her down! Prediction: This will go badly for all involved.

And now to the whole Navid/Adrianna breakup: UGH. I once loved them together. So much. And it killed me when Ade just dumped him out of the blue like that! (That'll teach Navid to drone on and on about architecture!) Also, I can't believe she told him she needed "time alone". Time alone = need to do Teddy. Nice, Adrianna, real nice. I find it kind of unrealistic that he wouldn't forgive her though. I mean this is the girl he has loved since fourth grade or something! She said she made a mistake man!! He'll come around.

Teddy is apparently a little bit more of a jerk than I thought! It's one thing to go after another guy's girlfriend because you have real feelings for her, it's another to do it because you want to "have fun" AND THEN tell the guy about it. These lapses could also be attributed to his trademark 'duh duh dumbness'. I am going to trademark that at some point.

Final thoughts:

Of course Dixon won't hug Navid in his time of need. That guy is such a jerk! I think I used to like him.

Eduardo compared Jen to a horse TWICE. Even for someone as horrible as her, that is offensive.

Great line from Naomi re: Jen- "You just threw yourself at some rich guy's feet like it was 1957."

Lovely scene of Ade trying to text Teddy. 'Hmm what flip message about the breakup of my long-term relationship should I send the guy I want to do? I wonder!" Real nice Adrianna.

Aaaand Sasha continues her creepy affair with a high schooler. Gross.

Harry and Kelly continue to want each other? Could this really be going where it seems to be going?

That brief scene between Ryan and Kelly makes me remember that they were pretty cute together. A curse upon Jen!

I pretty much love drunk Harry. Almost as good as stoned Harry! Stop acting like such a loser Ryan! Harry is about 10 times cooler than you!

Camryn Diaz looks decidedly unpretty in the trailer for that movie "The Box". There, I said it.

Definitely not enough Liam in this episode! His mom did make a cake though, and it was nice of him to offer.

Next week: Jerky Dixon does jerky things....and then my DVR cut off.

Heroes- The preview for next week's show looked kind of good, right?

Sorry for the late double post!

Well, let's just get last week's episode over with first here. Last week:

Hiro spent the entire episode trying to save a guy who habitually copies his butt on the copy machine and gets himself fired. Seriously, that is what happened. That was Hiro's plot. For real.

Tracy/Nikki/Jessica whatever Ali Larter's character is named now found out that sometimes, hot women are only valued for their bodies and not their minds when she tried to get her old job back and her old boss tried to get her into bed.

Nathan/Sylar discovered some convoluted and long forgotten murder/accidental death he was involved in that Angela covered up, tried to make it right, and got shot. Or something. These characters have more back-story than a soap opera villain at this point.

So that was last week. It was terrible.

This week, was unfortunately, not much better, though we did get some actual plot movement on the Carny front, so that's something. Also next week's preview really did look pretty good! Oh Heroes, why do you do this to me?

So what happened anyway?

Well, let's just get this over with, cause I know we are all thinking about it...CLAIRE KISSED A GIRL. Or more accurately, Claire got kissed by a girl. I do not know if she liked it. That was not made clear. Was this is a desperate ratings grab? Maybe. Is the youngest daughter from The Nanny kind of selling it? Yes. Gretchen is a cutie.

The other Claire news was that she joined a sorority, accused Gretchen of murder, and is being totally played by one of the sorority girls (Tessa Thompson, of VERONICA MARS, best show ever!!!) who is secretly an invisible person who works with the Carnies and killed her roommate, made her suspect Gretchen, and is trying to get her to become a Carny too. Too bad she doesn't realize how much Claire wants a normal life. Living with a Carnival doesn't strike me as the kind of nornality Claire is looking for. This chick should just hang around her for like five minutes and then she'll know, Claire just wants TO BE NORMAL.

Speaking of people who just want to be normal, Peter is looking for some kind of human connection, so he invites his mom to his weird dingy apartment for some soup or something. Of course, even when standing in front of the shrine Peter has made for himself, Angela is still talking about Nathan to him. Which to me is no surprise since real Nathan is dead and SylarNathan is missing, but to Peter, just comes off as really annoying and rude. Later, he has few INCREDIBLY drawn out scenes with Emma, the deaf woman who can see sound, where they both see sound together, and he immediately tells her about his abilities yadda yadda. She has some kind of "could have been a doctor but blames herself for someone's death" back-story that I am sure will be illuminated further. Also, she LOVES FILING. So do not diss file clerks to her, ok?!

Then there was Sylar. Or Nathan. Or Gabriel Gray. Or someone else? I guess I don't really get what Heroes wants me to feel about him. Let's review here: He was a misunderstood weirdo who morphed into a merciless serial killer, who thought he found his family and learned to love and feel remorse, who then killed the woman he loved and went back to being a murderer, went on a weird spree with his possible brother to find his evil father, then had the feelings and memories of Nathan Petrelli (who was an ass, let's not forget) forced into his head and now doesn't know who he is and is just a cute little puppy dog who needs to be saved. Or something.

I mean, I LOVE Zachary Quinto. He is way too good for the part, which is one of reasons that it is so hard really hate Sylar. He gives the character layers that the writing does not. At the same time, wouldn't it make sense for me to be totally with Ernie Hudson (Ghostbusters!!) on the whole beat a confession out him thing? Because Sylar has done some pretty awful things. But the show seems to want us to be with the psychiatrist lady and want him to be saved. It doesn't really make sense. I don't love to hate him, I actually kind of like him. But he's an evil serial murderer. IT DOESN"T MAKE SENSE HEROES!!!!

So now, Sylar doesn't know who he is, but he is with the Carnies. And next week looks like it might be cool. But it probably won't be.

A few questions to ruminate on until next week:

Why was there a children's chorus singing the theme song to "The Greatest American Hero" a the hospital?

Why am I supposed to care about Emma?

Why was that scene of her and Peter playing the piano SO INTERMINABLY LONG?

Why were the scenes of Sylar in the police station so dang long?

Has that lady playing the psychiatrist been on Doctor Who or Torchwood or something?

How did I not know that was the little girl from The Nanny until someone told me?

Is Ernie Hudson this hard up for money? What about Ghostbusters 3?

How was I even the tiniest bit sucked into next week's episode after this one?

Was it because there was no Matt Parkman in it?

Another Episode of Melrose Place

Maybe you can tell from the title of this blog, maybe you can't, but Melrose Place is just not inspiring passion from me. It's certainly not great, but it's not terrible either. The stories need to move forward a little more quickly though. I missed last week's episode, and when I asked my friend Sarah for a recap, she said "I think it was pretty much the same as the week before."

This week, we did get some forward plot movement. Sydney's sister, Jane Andrews (Josie Bissett) apparently inherited Melrose Place, then moved in and promptly began blackmailing its residents. As you do.

Jane, who as far as I can remember was pretty nice on the original show, is pretty much evil to the core on this iteration. She tells Ella she has evidence that she had motive to kill Sydney, she pretends to be all sweet and worried about her 'niece' Violet and then calls the cops on her, and she tells David she is going to make their lives miserable. (I would just get another apartment at this point, but I guess MP is SO AWESOME that that is not an option.) Jane made an awful dress for Ella's client, and in the end, Ella showed guts, a backbone and dignity by NOT making her wear it, which I think was a pretty good twist actually. Go Ella!

The only other character I find to be pretty appealing is Jonah, because he is funny and he actually reacts the way a normal, non-insane person might in most situations. He is a great audience surrogate, and it is pretty cool that Riley, the other person who we are supposed to be able to relate to here, acts exactly like those kind of characters always do (dumbly) and Jonah calls her on it! Amazing.

Lauren's still whoring it up, even after getting roughed up and not paid (by Joan's husband from Mad Men! That guy is good at playing jerks!) and now Kimber from Nip/Tuck is going to be her madam. I bet this is going to work out super great for her.

Violet= insane. Ashley Simpson is killing me with her crazy eyes man! I just want her to stop being horrible, even though I am pretty sure it is physically impossible for her. When I watch her, I just feel so bad for the person who has to direct her scenes.

Riley talks to Violet in the same way I would imagine she talks to her first graders.

Ella gets all the best lines! "Agriculture is falls squarely in my no click zone." and "I don't think anyone's ever offered to destroy an enemy of mine before."

Did anyone NOT know that David was going to screw up his waitering job at the premiere and screw Auggie over? Anyone? Apparently Auggie didn't know that. Come on man.

It was way hot when David offered to take down Jane for Ella. I totally get why she slept with him. Too bad his blackmailing of her to get her to leave Ella alone didn't work. Ah well, maybe next time.

Next week: More whoring, more murder mystery. More story? Maybe?

90210- Officially Better Than Heroes

The title of this post is all true. I was significantly more entertained watching 90210 last night than I have been in years of watching Heroes. There are plots whose outcome isn't immediately obvious! There are even some characters who are appealing and not functionally retarded! Sometimes, people act in ways that make some kind of sense!!!

Even people you really hate! Like Jen. It was pretty smart of her to come clean on the lies that Naomi wouldn't hate her forever for, and to spin them so she didn't come off as the total sociopath that she is. However, maybe Liam has her outmatched for once! Yay Liam. God I hope so, because I think I will enjoy her comeuppance ever more than I enjoyed Annie's!

Another storyline I am still into? The whole Navid/Adrianna/Teddy triangle. (Is it about to become a square with Silver? Oh I think it is because she and Teddy are rocking some hot hate chemistry!) Navid is acting like a controlling jerk...BUT he really does just want what's best for Adrianna. Adri

anna is being a little deceitful about her feelings here...BUT she just went through a lot and maybe just needs some space from her kind of controlling boyfriend. Teddy is after another guy's girl BUT he seems like a pretty nice guy, and let's be honest, he doesn't really owe Navid anything

. Silver is about to be filled with righteous indignation at both Teddy and Ade I am sure...BUT I think she's gonna want to jump Teddy's bones at some point this season anyway. Who can blame her really?! I mean Adrianna dreams about those abs! I still can't believe that Adrianna made out with Teddy and then came home and had guilt sex with Navid though! That's pretty awful.

IF Annie really killed that homeless guy, then I am loving her story. If she actually just hit a dog or something, it is beyond stupid. I'm pretty sure she didn't actually hit him, but I'll reserve judgment until the big reveal. Two things about this plot thread though: 1. I loved it when Silver asked the weird misanthrope of a nephew of that homeless guy, "Was his death a shock?". I think the kid should have replied, "Yeah, everyone expects their homeless uncle is going to live forever. It was a real shock." 2. I think that kid is using his uncle's murder as a way to get laid. Real classy.

Still loving Liam. Now I am really hoping that those blueprints in his basement were some kind of JEN-killing machine, because I hate her so much, and I do not want to have to suffer through even one more scene of she and Ryan Matthews being a lovey dovey together. The fact that he does not find her horrible proves he is a moron.

I am starting to like Teddy and his duh face ways.

I love that Annie can be referred to as "A booby flashing bum-killer" by my friend Shannon.

Everyone's hair is looking amazing on this show. Great hairstylists!

Of course, this week's 90210 was not perfect. Even though it was better than this week's Heroes it still had it's flaws. Such as:

-Dixon. The entire plot. He is such a jerk, AND an idiot, and liking the same kind of sherbet as someone does not mean you are meant to be, SASHA (who is supposed to be a grown woman don't forget.) The woman she thinks is his girlfriend is his mom. Hahaha. She is going to be so mad that she slept with him.

-Also, the attitude towards sex is kind of bothersome to me. Mirroring the old 90210, sex for boys is portrayed as no big deal, and for girls it is portrayed as something they do because they are guilty or upset and it is a HUGE deal. Let's stop with these regressive ideas about sexuality 90210!

-Annie is so dumb and weird. Also: mean.

-Don't tease me with that awesome gay roller skating kid unless I am getting more! MORE!

-The fact that Adrianna killing her dreams of acting is a real turn-on for Navid.

-Jen kind of looks like an ape.

-Liam's parents are so annoying.

-What's the deal with Rumer Willis here? She had one big scene where she acted normally and Silver reacted insanely to her. It was weird.

-I think it would make a lot of sense for on of them to be an actor, so I am bummed that Ade gave up that part! Also she gave it up out of guilt for cheating on her controlling boyfriend, so double boo!

We Don't Need Another Hero...really we don't.

Dear Heroes,

Things have not been good between us for a long time, Heroes, and I've really tried to love you despite your flaws. But I just can't stand idly by while you bring in ANOTHER woman to an already overstuffed cast. And that's not even the only thing wrong between us! I hate the way you never let the main cast act together even though they have great chemistry, and I hate the way you make me feel bad for a serial killer because he stuck inside the lamest person in the world's head. Actually, as you may have guessed if you know me at all, I have a list of things that drove me absolutely insane about last night's episode. I hope you can read it with an open mind and an eye toward change, as that is the only way we can get through this.

-Does Matt not get that Sylar doesn't exist in reality? Stop pulling your gun on him idiot!

-Has Peter really gotten so weird that he just stares at a shrine he made for himself whenever he is not working?

-Even with the reveal that he was a butler's son, Samuel's stories of forced primness don't really make me feel that bad for him.

-Samuel does not look "like everybody else" in that suit Lydia. He looks crazy.

-Before I realized that this new girl is deaf, I thought maybe she had the power of sleeping super hard. What?! You have had some dumb powers before on this show!

-Powers = drugs? SO dumb. If Buffy couldn't do it well there is no way in hell you can, so don't even try.

-I think the fact that every time Matt uses his powers he uses them to be a liar isn't the fault of the power, it's the fault of Matt, who is a big ass. Nice try blaming some "addiction".

-Claire would NEVER EVER be allowed to live in the same room her roommate killed herself in. Come on.

-I think she probably would have called her dad about the whole dead roommate thing.

-Also, Claire would not brush her damn teeth before lunch! You couldn't manufacture a better way to have her run into Gretchen?

-I really wish that when HRG told Claire he would always be there for her, he also said, "And I will always have this Hatian who wipes memories." Cause that's reassuring.

-Gretchen is really the perfect friend for her, I will admit that, as she is a creepy weirdo into gore and stuff.

-Poor Sylar. Now I want Matt to give him his body back pretty badly, so I can watch him and NOT have to watch Parkman.

-Sylar is being way too nice! He is only being as mean to Matt as I would be if I were in that guy's head. I think he can do more.

-I get it, I get it. Sylar as Emperor Palpatine, exhorting Parkman to come to the dark side.

-WHAT is Samuel's power? Is it Ink and Dirt control? That's what I'm calling it. Ink and Dirt control. Like laundry detergent or something.

-Why would you put a sound effect in when showing us the fact that the deaf girl can see sound. She can't hear it! It might have actually been cool to see it how she does!

-Do you think Peter is going to fall for her maybe? Maybe. She'll probably play hard to get, as she is troubled because of her disability. I CAN SEE THE ENTIRE ARC OF THIS STORYLINE ALREADY. Not a good thing, Heroes, not a good thing.

-Could Peter be any more conspicuous with his powers? He's pretty much just using them in public at this point.

-Stop making it so hard to get pictures of the episodes! OMG!

Okay, I'll give you points for things that were at least kind of cool.


-No Hiro

-It was kind of cool to reveal Samuel as a definite bad guy by having him use his powers of Ink and Dirt control to sink that house.

-I sort of want to know what his plan is for Peter and the others.

-Good job getting Darth Maul as the knife guy.

That's about it. So as you can see, there is a lot you need to work on before you can really consider you and I on good terms, Heroes. I will tell you this much though. NO MORE NEW CAST MEMBERS. That's gonna become deal breaker.

Next week: Those carnies are after HRG!

What you are now, we were once: Mad Men, Season 3 Episode 7, Seven Twenty-Three

This was a rough episode for Don Draper. It was as if he was embodying Joan's quote about the unpredictability of life from last week. He woke up, looked great, felt great, shined his shoes, knew exactly where to move that lamp, and made his way to the place where he always shines brightest, Sterling-Cooper.

And when he got there...Conrad Hilton was waiting for him! Best day ever Don! However, the shine comes off pretty quickly when it is revealed that Conrad Hilton is going to be a pain in the ass. He reminds Don that he's not that young anymore (These young people give us energy!), chides him for being late, not having a bible or family photos, and worst of all gives Sterling-Cooper and Putnam, Powell and Lowe their moment to lock him down. Suddenly, Don doesn't have all the power anymore.


Don is being reminded of his ineffectuality everywhere he goes in this episode. The teacher that he lusts after (even as he tries to tell her, "Nothing's happening. We're just talking.") pegs him as just another suburban dad, burning off boredom by hitting on anything in a skirt and getting drunk all the time. Don, as we all do, wants to see himself as different from the men in his neighborhood. Different from everyone really. Don is a man who left his entire life behind and is living out his own fantasy. Self-made man in every sense of the word. He created this character, Don Draper, and this character is bullet-proof. Smart, handsome, great at his job, ethical, kind, can get any woman, can charm any man. But...maybe not? Maybe instead of turning himself into a fantasy, he somehow became, just a man? A man with a family and a job and boring things to do on the weekend and stuff he doesn't want to have to deal with all around him. All of a sudden Don Draper is no longer what he wants to be. So he finds himself asking, who would Dick Whitman have been?

The teacher's appraisal of Don is a little harsh (because let's be honest, there is something extraordinary about him), but not as harsh as the one he makes of himself. When the drugs the beatnik robbers give him kick in, he hallucinates his father, telling dirty jokes, looking like the epitome of everything he ran from, calling him a bum, a liar, and someone who doesn't even work for a living. He even acknowledges the fact that "he can't be tied down", and for a moment at least, sees that as a negative instead of a badge of honor. Don is seeing everything he ran from, everything he did not want to become, but also the failings of his own character. He wanted so much to become someone better than his whore-mongering, abusive father, but has had to make so many little compromises, tell so many lies to do it. And in these moments, where he's not even sure who he is, he's also not sure it was worth it.


The question for Don is, what happens when fantasy becomes reality? Dick Whitman could not even conceive of the life he was going to have as Don Draper, but when he imagined it, I am sure a cold bitchy wife and an old man blackmailing him into a contract were not in the equation. He just knew he wanted something better than what he had. Except now he wants the same thing. He wants better than Don Draper. He wants to move to London, to be powerful, to be a terrible husband with a happy wife, to be a father when he feels like it and a Lothario when he wants it. And because he can't have these things, these superhuman wants and needs, he feels impotent, old and trapped. "I signed it."


Trapped. That is a word that truly describes the way Betty Draper is feeling. New baby (that did not magically fix her life), fighting children, a closed off husband, even a decorator that doesn't want to hear her ideas! She is looking for her own small ways to get the hell out, for a while at least. With Henry she is getting a little thrill, a taste of real power, not "the guys down at the office really love my lyrical prose about Kodak" power, but "I advise the Governor on all matters" power. And he is a man attracted to her fragility, instead of repelled by it (as I am willing to bet Don once was as well). But Betty's not all dizzy spells and fainting couches, as her conversation with Don re: Roger's phone call revealed. I have to say, I LOVED the exchange between her and Don about the contract. Don- "I have all the power. They want me but they can't have me." Betty-"You're right. Why would that has anything to do with me?" Oh snap Betty! She knows that Don's contract with Sterling-Cooper is a proxy for his contract with her. "What, you don't know where you'll be in three years?"



Just as Don's ways as a husband have sent his wife looking for another man to make her feel special, his ways as a boss have sent Peggy into the arms of Duck. Literally into his arms. The whole Peggy and Duck sleep together thing came completely out of left field for me, but the more I think about it, the more I kind of like it. Here's why:

-Peggy could really use a good go-round.

-Duck was a character that I actually liked, despite his pathetic jealousy of Don.

-After Don said to Peggy. "You're good. Get better. Stop asking for things." She screwed him over with his rival (it would kill him to think about Peggy and Duck together, work wise or otherwise!) and THEN Bert Cooper pretty much said the same thing to him!

-As a lead up to the Duck/Peggy sex, we got a Peggy/Pete scene that kind of made me some kind of secret Peggy/Pete shipper. I know this is not the kind of show that is supposed to have shippers, but come on! "Stop coming in here and infecting me with your anxiety!" Maybe these two crazy kids can make it work.

-Peggy looked pretty into it. And I want her to be happy.

-It's not like Duck is unattractive really...he's just older than her. I mean he's no Roger, but I'm sure he does all right for himself.

So go Peggy! I hope Duck wasn't just using a really hard sell just to get you to be disloyal to Don and leave Sterling-Cooper though.

Stray thoughts:

-No more contact with Roger Sterling!!! I better get plenty more contact with Roger Sterling.

-Bert Cooper about Conrad Hilton "I hear he's a bit of an eccentric." Roger had the best look ever in response to that.

-Betty was an anthropology major at Bryn Mawr! There are layers to her we have not seen yet.

-Is that teacher crazy? I am getting a possible Fatal Attraction vibe from her.

-Vietnam is still hovering around the edges. We know it's coming.

-That fainting couch does look terrible there.

Next week:
You know better! Don't even ask. Sally's got a temper?

90210- They're on a boat!

So 90210, was Dixon's (Tristan Wilds) entire story line an extended joke on how old the cast members are? Because it kind of seemed like it was. Dixon meets grown woman who looks to be his age, then sees her at a party with ALL of his high school friends, and she immediately believes that they are all grown-ups and not high school kids. I don't even know what to believe anymore? Are they even supposed to look like high school kids? Because I know they don't, but I just assumed that on the show, this is what high school kids look like. Now, there is a character within the universe of the show who thinks that all of the these people look about 30. Granted she is very annoying, and has the most grating way of smiling in human history (is having some kind of facial tick like a requirement to be cast on this show?!), so maybe we are supposed to assume she is dumb. I mean she is billed as "the female Dixon" (and you are right Navid, that will never sound sexy.) and Dixon has been pretty thick-headed as of late. I just don't know.

Okay, on to the rest of the show! It was pretty good as a whole and there was was one super- awesome-so-great-I-can't-even-describe-to-you-how-great thing: NO JEN.

Other cool things include:

-Dixon's sweet fade.

-Liam (Matt Lanter)'s cuteness. (I think I am getting a crush on Liam! We hate all the same things, Jen, Annie, wilderness camp...and he is super hot. Don't worry, he's only two years younger than me, so it's not weird.)

-Adrianna's (Jessica Lowndes) dress in the school scenes! I want!

-Navid (Michael Steger)'s quote after Dixon complained that Silver (Jessica Stroup) gave him back a bunch of stuff he didn't even want "Yo, I'll take the calligraphy set if you still have it..."

-Dixon and Silver are SO NOT over each other. (Shut up. They were cute once upon a time.)

-Kelly (Jennie Garth)'s back! Crushing on Harry! Defending stupid Annie (Shenae Grimes)!

-Navid and Adrianna. They are cute! You know I love them. And yet, I totally get that Adrianna is still attracted to Teddy (who is SO STEVE SANDERS by the way) and vice versa. Nobody's a jerk in this situation, it is just a high school love triangle! YES!

-Sasha played 'Poison' by Bel Biv Devoe at the party! Cool party Teddy! That song rules.

-Annie's locker was defaced. No wait, that's not awesome, that's terrible. Locker graffiti ruins lives, people.

-Annie's parents found out about her slut-tastic ways! And they were pissed! Wait until they find out about her hobo-murdering.

-Annie went completely evil and mean. I kind of liked it. In a "can't wait to see her get her comeuppance" kind of way.

-Naomi (Annalyn McCord) and Silver were cute as totally horrifically damaged BFF's. Seriously if you think about what they were both so bummed out about in that scene for too long, it gets disturbing real fast.

.

-Liam running off to some crazy workshop in the dark and pulling out a bunch of blueprints. Please let those be the plans for some incredibly elaborate Annie-killing machine! Please!

It's 90210, so of course, some things were lame:

-The aforementioned Dixon/Sasha storyline. Puke.

-The fact that they made Annie retroactively not sleep with that loser guy who took the pic of her. They didn't do it, huh 90210? Cause that is really what you made it look like in the first episode!

-Harry/Debbie martial issues. Unless they are really going to let Kelly full on wreck that home, I do not want to see their petty squabbling.

-Dumb hats.

-Too much make-up Adrianna!

-The fact that I agreed with Annie on something. Prior to her crazy evil attack on Naomi on the boat party, she was pretty much completely innocent and Naomi did something awful to her. Silver can't really have it both ways at that point, because Naomi was being pretty horrible and lying! I hate agreeing with Annie, but come on Silver. May this never happen again.

-Dixon's an idiot.

-The idea that there are enough people on The Blaze that like anchovies that they would order an entire pizza with them on it.

-The preview and the previous-lies, which both had Jen in them.

-The fact that Jen is on this show.

Next week: Dixon goes to Napa with the old lady! Adrianna kisses Teddy! My DVR cuts off!

Heroes, Oh God, it's not getting better. Now that I know I can accept this and move forward.

Oh Heroes. It almost hurts me to see you keep trying to so hard to fix yourself, yet continue to have the same fundamental problems year after year. The theme of this chapter is "Redemption", so I'm assuming that this show is about to be redeemed from stupid characters, labryinthine plots and unnecessary cast additions, right? Oh. Not exactly.

We begin with a voiceover. Of freaking course. It's not Mohinder droning on about crap no one cares about though, it's a new guy we have never seen before, talking to some carnies while he buries someone. It's all very sad I am sure. Then he uses his awesome power of...dirt control? Or something, to bury the casket. Cool I guess.

Aaand now that's over, and we are watching Claire move in totally alone to college. Real nice Sandra and HRG! Real nice. So Claire, in case you were wondering, just wants to have a normal life! I don't know if you've heard that maybe one thousand times before or not, but the show just wanted to reiterate that. Unfortunately for her, there are a few things keeping from the "normal life" of her dreams, such as:

-She's an invincible superhero with a superhero family and hero hunter/helper morally ambiguous father.

-She's wearing horrible 80's inspired fashions including but not limited to some kind of "Canadian Tuxedo" ensemble. (Jeans and a denim shirt. Knotted at the waist. WHY?!)

-She has an insane roommate who promptly offs herself after annoying the crap out of her (and us) for an hour.

-She has some kind of creepy, murder groupie, goth, black wide leg pants wearing friend who probably has a nefarious origin. (Knowing this show)

-She sucks at Algebra. No one can lead a normal life unless they understand Algebra kids.

So bummer for Claire. Turns out she is probably going to have to continue to be invulnerable and have a not so normal life. At least I hope. Otherwise this is going to be a boring show.

Still not leading a normal life? HRG, Noah, Claire's dad. We all know and love him, and he's pretty much back to his "people with abilities" chasing ways. But NOW, he is going to help them instead of caging them like animals! This time he'll aided by Tracy, who I guess is done murdering people for revenge now that someone else murdered Danko and she felt curiously all upset about it.
Also, are they going to do it? There was some weird chemistry going on with them in that last scene. Sexy chemistry? Or is that just how Ali Larter acts with everyone?

Oh yeah Danko's dead, thank goodness. They didn't really let me relish it at all, which probably just proves that the writers of Heroes are better people than I am. Some Carny guy killed him for a compass. He seemed to have some kind of super speed/ knife throwing skills.

You know who else just wants a normal life? Peter. So to acheive that end he is using Mohinder's super strength and agility (and later Carny guy's speed) to save people as an EMT. He is not interacting with his insane family (probably a good move) OR anyone else for that matter (probably a bad move) and his very nice EMT partner keeps trying to get him to hang out, but it's a no go. I don't really know why he seems to disappointed whenever Peter declines to chill with him, because Peter does not seem to be a very fun dude, let me tell you. HRG gave him a lecture about not living a lonely life and end up with your kids away at school and your wife's phone being answered by some dude, but at this rate, there is no way Peter is getting a wife and kids. He says crap like "Hi. I'm here to save you." Ugh.
He helped HRG get the compass (briefly, the Carnies got it) and we all know he'll be back, non-normal lifing it up in no time.

'Nathan' feels weird. Like not himself. Like maybe he might be someone else, or something. HMMMMM. Could that someone else be some kind of all-powerful serial killer maybe? Also, why did Angela et. all not plan for the fact that Sylar's powers are going to manifest for 'Nathan'? Every single person who has powers has had them manifest physically when they were not conciously trying to use them, including Angela and Nathan. Dumb. I am not sure if you have noticed, but the characters on this show are dumb.

Also dumb? Matt Parkman's entire storyline. Shocker, I know. He has quit mind reading cold turkey and is acting as though he was addicted to it. He's even in an incredibly poorly run addiction recovery group for it! (When he starts acting all weird, the guy leading the group is all "Okay, let's move on..." Nice dude.) And, he's jealous of the water guy. Yes, Matt Parkman is so insecure that is jealous of the guy who delivers water to his house because he is kind of friendly. Oh man I hate this guy so much. One more thing, Sylar is in his brain or something, and he keeps seeing him everywhere. I guess that is just an excuse to make sure Zachary Quinto is in every episode.

And then, of course, there's Hiro. I want to like him, but, man he really is a childlike idiot. At first he and Ando are trying to start some Ghostbuster's-like "Hire a Hero" thing, but then it is revealed that he is dying (From some unknown thing. Nosebleeds is my guess. Nosebleeds are one of the leading killers of TV characters in the nation. Someone should start a charity.) So then he goes back in time, meets the head Carny guy who tells him he can change little things without changing everything, and makes is so his sister and Ando are in love in the present. Good for Ando.
I am sure this new 'mission' (this fricken dude has to have a mission, doesn't he?) of going back in time to fix the small mistakes in his life before he dies will have no terrible consequences...oh I can't even say it. Of course it will.

So these Carnies aren't exactly fleshed out yet, but we have the aformentioned quick with knives dude(Irish, I think) , we have Lydia (hot, I think) who gets tattoos of people magically and then knows stuff about them, an old guy who can send people back in time and seems to be dying, and Samuel the seeming leader who moved the dirt in the first scene (telekinesis?) but in the rest of the episode seems to have some kind of magical ink pen that can make faces of people on Lydia's back AND make hands that strangle people into doing his bidding. (He did say he was sorry afterwards.) So onto Lydia's back he tattooted the faces of the Heroes that he wants now that he has met and influence Hiro. Peter, Claire and Sylar. Unsuprisingly, they don't want Matt Parkman.

Next week: I don't really know. They showed previews of the whole season. Crazy stuff!!

I stood, I felt a chill, I thought maybe you did too. I wanted to feel that way forever: Mad Men, Ep. 6, "A Guy Walks Into An Advertising Agency."

"One day you're on top of the world, and the next some secretary's running you over with a lawnmower."

Joan's words of wisdom, of course, were not just about poor Guy McKendrick and his now lost foot. They were first and foremost about her, though her fall from the top was a bit slower than Guy's, she can still feel that her dreams of being a secure and happy surgeon's wife have slipped away. She held onto them after he raped her in Don's office, she held onto them after he revealed himself to be an immature bully who always wanted his own way, she even held onto them after realizing that most of the people he works with think she is too good for him and not vice versa. But to have him come home, drunk and childlike, angry and in need of someone to take care of him, and admit his failure, that was the last straw. He will not be a surgeon. She had given up a place where she was secure and in control in service of his ambitions, only to find out that his ambitions were dashed, and her place at work was already gone. And yet, in last night's episode we were not filled with despair for Joan, because all we needed was to just glimpse her once in a crisis to know that she's a survivor, and she is far better than her current station in life. Water always finds it's level, and I am ready to see Joan rise up and her scummy husband slither down where he belongs.

Don and Betty are both having dreams and expectations dashed left and right too. Betty's hope that little Gene's birth would save her marriage, heal her family from her father's death and just generally make everything perfect is not quite working out. Little Sally is convinced that the baby is the ghost of her grandfather back to haunt her and Don resents the fact that she named their child after someone who hated him...and who he hated. "That's what people do Don!" She chastises him, reminding him that he "has no people" and cannot understand her need to memorialize her father. Instead of bringing them together, this incident just serves as a reminder of what is constantly tearing them apart.

Seeing Don be excited about the idea of a big promotion and then have his hopes dashed by McKendrick's stupid chart was so sad. The childlike smile he has in this picture (while talking to Bert Cooper) and when thinking about the idea in bed gave us a window into that side of Dick Whitman we saw in those flashbacks last season...the side that has hope. And joy. And all of the things that being Don Draper has sucked out of his life. BUT...oh there is a but. The but is, that Connie, the nice old man from Roger's party isn't just your run of the mill rich dude....he's CONRAD HILTON. And like Joan, Don is a survivor. And he just learned that being himself...who he has been running away from for so long...can actually help him in his new life. I am excited to see how this Hilton angle plays out.

And Roger. My beloved Roger was all over this episode, being hilarious and yet a little sad at the same time. "I like to think, 'I'm rich, they can't hurt me'" He tells Bert Cooper, but they can, because he believed that because his name is on the company, it is still his, even though he sold it. Just as Don's hopes for a promotion were dashed by McKendrick's stupid chart, so were Roger's hopes of continued relevance at the company that bears his name. "I'm being punished for making my job look easy." If anyone is right about that, it's Roger.

This was a wickedly funny episode, from Lois's terrible lawnmower driving leading to McKendrick getting more than his deserved comeuppance to the hilarious contrast between the Americans and the British. So many good lines!

-Paul, when jokingly asked to shave his beard.."What?! Who the hell are you people?"

-Bertram Cooper, weirdest guy ever, after meeting McKendrick. "Well, that was very strange indeed!"

-Evil British people, about McKendrick losing his foot "Doctor's say he'll never golf again."

-Pete, to Harry "They just reorganized the company and you're the only one in this room who got a promotion." Harry, in shock, "Really?!!"

-I loved Peggy trying to say something nice in her goodbye to Joan, even if she did get cut off.

-Joan and Don's moment at the end was very sweet.

-Roger, getting his nails done. I now agree it is manly, if Roger does it. Cause he is a MAN.

-Betty and the Barbie for Sally...at least she's trying! For real.

-Pete caught Peggy when she passed out after the lawnmower accident!

-Those British dudes are ruthless!

Next week: Who's laying on the floor?!! WHO IS IT?

Melrose Place: I'll have the red herring please.

Okay Melrose Place, and all other TV shows, I have a question. How is it always, that whenever anyone gets brutally murdered, they always have at least 3 or 4 conversations that very night that are always fraught with drama and often violence?! I will tell you this, if I ever have more than 1 run-in in a night with people who have an axe to grind with me, I am NOT letting that third person in, as they will probably kill me. Either accidentaly or on purpose, doesn't really matter. I would like to avoid it.

So this episode started with Auggie (Colin Egglesfield) in a sexy shower of angst, and revealed that he and Sydney had a very complicated relationship indeed. Let's run it down here:

-Met at AA and slept together pretty much immediately. (Go Sydney! Or Auggie! Or both!)

-Stopped sleeping together after three months to properly "work the program". Because she loved him too much to let him fail. (Too late, maybe?)

-He told her about his girlfriend's tragic death by barfight, but did NOT seem to mention that he totally stabbed the guy who killed her to death all psycho style and got off because the jury felt bad for him.

-Aaaand of course, they had a crazy run-in the night she was killed (that seems to alibi David, but who knows how the timeline will shake out.) and he got stabbed by her. So did she maybe get stabbed by him right back? Looks like it, but I don't think they are giving us the killer on day 2.

Suspect # 2 that was handed to us on a silver platter was good ole Violet(Ashley Simpson-Wentz). Um, she's Sydney's daughter! Maybe! (Maybe Jane's? That is really the only other choice with the whole DNA thing.) Also she is totally psycho. Auggie seems to like her, but we already know he like insane redheads. There is one other thing that I want to mention about Violet, and it is the fact that, well, SHE IS PLAYED BY AN INCREDIBLY TERRIBLE ACTRESS. Last week you might remember I called Ashlee Simpson-Wentz "the weakest actress". That, was me being nice. Hoping that maybe she would improve. I cannot be nice any longer. So I just have to say, right here and now, that she is so bad she is virtually unwatchable. That bad. Really.

There are two very aggressive and annoying cops investigating this whole Sydney Andrews murder thing, and in this episode they are leaning very heavily on Auggie, even though in the last one they seemed convinced David was the killer. I think I might be a better detective than these two.

I really love that Auggie told Riley that he "Can't get Sydney out of my head". That's probably okay dude, she was just murdered yesterday or something.

Last bit of murder news, Riley and Jonah are kind of suspicious of weirdo Violet. Especially Jonah.

So in Not-involved-in-murdering, just-living-the crazy-L.A.-life-news:

We have whoring. Should we start with whoring? I think we should. Lauren's whoring herself out now, with her first client offering to be her pimp (nice guy, that one). She is kind of upset about things, but still, it's gross. And Lauren don't get mad at the guy who hired you just because he liked you! That means you did a good job! This means you're a great hooker.

Riley and Jonah had some kind of "We are normal people not like these other crazies on this show" fight that was lame and boring. Expect this to happen each episode.

David is some kind of art/jewel thief. Somehow he makes this job seem boring. Also he must really booze it up if he is stealing million items yet still living in freakin Melrose Place, considering Violet lives there with no job at all. That's a lot of Gray Goose.

Ella is becoming my fave character, and not just because Katie Cassidy was on Harper's Island and is pretty. I liked her little work arc, and she gets to say lines like "Good, I was tired of the snack room melodrama anyway." I completely buy her as a ballsy publicist, bitch with heart of gold type.

Jonah and I say the same thing by the way, that we'll only run when being chased. I think he is the only character on this show I could be friends with. Ella would eat me alive!

Next week: I don't know, I didn't even pay attention because the previews are useless